Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters. (I wish I did)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-1I sat in my car staring out through the window and the rain at the trailer that stood in front of me. This is it, I thought, time to end it.

I slowly got out of my car and half walked half ran up to the door. I knocked once then turned to look back at my car. I could just leave now and he would never know I was here. No Meredith you have to do this. You have to end it. I turned back around and was about to knock again when the door opened revealing him. My McDreamy (who Christina and Izzie had renamed McMarried). God why does he have to look so good?

"Meredith? What are you doing here?"

For the first time since he had opened the door I looked him square in the eye.

"We need to talk." As soon as I said this fear struck his face.

"That doesn't sound good." he said with a look of worry and sadness on his face.

"Look Derek, I know that we were heading somewhere good, great even with our relationship. And I know that I do love you and that you love me but you have a wife. One you never told me about. And even though I love you there is nothing you can do now to make that up to me. You hurt me so much and now I'm just suppose to sit around and wait for you to choose between her and me? I don't think so."

"Meredith-." I cut him off before he could even finish his sentence.

"No, you say Meredith and I yell remember?" He slightly nodded his head so I continued. "You could have told me about Addison before. You should of told me about Addison before. You should have told me that night at Joe's that you were married or at least when we started going out. If I had the right to know one thing about you that should have been it. I know that I'm not perfect but I would never hide something like that from someone. I would never hurt someone I loved like you hurt me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you Meredith. I swear I was going to tell you about Addison. I just didn't know how. It's not like saying what my favorite color is. This was something that had hurt me badly and I was trying to get over that pain so I came out here to Seattle looking for something different. Something new-"

"What, so I was just a rebound girl? The person you screw to get over being screwed? Is that what you're saying? Gee, Derek you really know how to make a girl feel good."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean Derek. Tell me what was I to you."

"You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. It's all I know."

"Well I hate to tell you this but that is not enough. That is not enough to make up for what you did to me."

"Well then what do you want me to do Meredith? Do you want me to leave her for you? Just tell me Meredith what I can do to make this up to you."

I looked at him thinking that this was it, this was the reason I came here, this is what I have to do and there is no going back now.

"Nothing," I finally said. "There is nothing you can do Derek. Because this, this thing between us is done. I can not stay with someone that hurt me this much and I know that I will never be able to forgive you completely. So I have to do this and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind."

"Meredith-"

"Goodbye Derek."

I gave him one last look before returning to my car. I knew this was something I had to do and now that I did it I felt relieved. As I started my car and drove away from the trailer I couldn't help but think that I finally did something right in my life. For once I took action outside of the hospital and as I saw the trailer shrinking in my rearview mirror I knew that I wouldn't regret it. Not now and not in the future. I was free of Derek Shepard and it felt good.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My first ever fanfic. Please review.