Tuney and Coven are still going and the next chapter for Tuney should be up soon(ish) but I had this off the wall idea and couldn't resist posting it. I don't know whether it will go anywhere, it was mainly just a bit of fun. As you can see, most of the core characters in canon take a few licks in this one and I think I was channelling Terry Pratchet's depiction of Death a little, but it was fun. ;^)

I guess you would call this one a rather out there AU. Some elements may be similar to some other HP AU stories but I'm pretty sure that the only one of those I've really read borrowed quite a bit from one of my own AU stories based on the Chuck series from a few years back that I took down then returned because people were asking for it, because there were just too many details that matched my story, so the way I see it, I'm adapting elements of one of my own fanfics.

The core theme of this one is that Harry and Hermione are sent to another place, time and dimension by Death from the magical explosion the destroys Voldemort once and for all and the spirits of those who truly care about them are sent with them as enchanted automatrons to look after them.

Usual disclaimers, no rights to anything from JKR's stories.

While it helped in a way, because it removed his hesitation about what he was going have to do, seeing Hermione kissing Ron as he walked into the Great Hall broke Harry's heart, so he quickly turned around and walked straight back out, heading for his meeting with Voldemort.

He stopped to talk to Neville just outside the castle and got some good news from him, because apparently the Sword of Gryffindor had come to him when he was being attacked by Nagini, Voldemort's familiar and the last horcrux aside from Harry, and he had managed to cut her head off. Neville's description of the awful scream that came from the snake's body after he cut its head off confirmed that she was a horcrux at least, so maybe his coming death wouldn't be in vain after all.

Harry clapped Neville on the shoulder, telling him that he was a good man and that there should be some indication of what happened but if he didn't return, if everything went as planned Voldemort should be mortal so they would be able to get rid of him once and for all. Then he asked him to watch out for Hermione and Luna and turned and walked away.

Harry thought he heard his name being called as he walked away from Neville but he wasn't paying attention because he was thinking about what was going to happen when he met Voldemort. That was why it was such a shock when someone suddenly grabbed him and almost pulled him off his feet.

"Honestly Harry, I've been calling after you since I saw you walk away from Neville, didn't you hear me?"

"Not really…. I was thinking about something…. Where's Ron?"

The anger on her face confused him. "Probably still curled up on the floor crying because I hurt his little boy bits! I hugged the git because he actually seemed to be caring about the elves for the first time in his miserable life and the next thing I knew I had his tongue down my throat and he was grabbing my arse! He wouldn't let go until I introduced my knee to his groin with enough force to make sure that he got the message!…."

She broke off and looked at him suspiciously. "You saw, didn't you? You saw us like that and you thought I was kissing him so you left to… Just what are you doing Harry? I don't like it when you get that look on your face because it says you're about to do something noble and stupid, something that you know that the people who love you won't approve of... Which in case you haven't worked it out, that means something that I won't approve of! What are you planning Harry?"

Hermione kept looking him in the eye because she knew as well as he did that he couldn't hold out on her if she did that. "Snape told me the rest of the information Professor Dumbledore left with him to give me before he died…."

"And?"

"Neville killed Voldemort's snake with the Sword of Gryffindor and destroyed the horcrux in it, but it turns out that the snake wasn't the last horcrux."

"Oh no! There's another one? Did Professor Snape tell you what it was? Do we have a chance to find and destroy it in time to kill Voldemort?"

"Yes to everything, but there's one little problem with the last horcrux..."

"What? We don't have time to play games Harry, we need to get rid of it so we can destroy Voldemort once and for all!"

"It's me…."

"What's you? Oh Harry we don't have time for this! Where is the Horcrux?"

"I'm the Horcrux Hermione! Voldemort can't be destroyed unless I die!"

Hermione just stared at him, horrified. "What?…. No! You aren't going to die! We'll find some other way to destroy Voldemort..."

"There is no other way Hermione! The information that Professor Dumbledore left with Snape was very clear, Voldemort has to kill me in order to destroy the last Horcrux so that he can be made mortal….. Please, go back, I need to do this so that you and everyone else can be made safe from Voldemort."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "You want me to go back and do what? Tell everyone that it's alright, you've let Voldemort kill you so they can finally get rid of him? Do you really believe that I'm going to let you do that?"

"I have to Hermione, there is no other way!"

She squared her shoulders. "Well come on then, if we have to make a noble sacrifice let's go out with a bang."

"What are you talking about, I have to do this, not you! I have to do this for you Hermione, I don't care about any of them in there… aside from Neville and Luna maybe…. But I can do this if I know that it means that you'll get the life you deserve."

Hermione gave a mirthless laugh. "Get the life I deserve? What sort of life do you think I'd have without you in it Harry? You're what I live for you idiot! Neville and Luna are good people but you're the only thing that makes life worth living for me, so if you're determined to sacrifice yourself to stop Voldemort, I'm coming with you."

Harry had run out of arguments. "Please go back Hermione, I can't stand the thought of you dying for no reason."

"I'm not dying for no reason, I'm dying with the one I love so that I will be with you wherever you go after you sacrifice yourself for those sheep. I've always wanted to spend my life with you Harry, and if we can't do that in this life…. I guess I'll have to settle for the next one….. Besides which, if there is any way to survive destroying Voldemort, I know you'll find it to save me if I'm there with you."

Harry gave a little laugh at that, because as usual she was right. He knew from that look in her eye there was no way of turning her away from this so he gave in. He leant in to kiss her on the forehead but she suddenly reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and her lips met his. When the first real kiss either of them had ever had finished she gave him a little smile. "Just in case we don't survive this."

With that he took her hand and they headed into the Forbidden Forest. When they were getting close to where he was supposed to meet Voldemort, Harry stopped and made Hermione get under his invisibility cloak, she tried to argue but gave in to his logic when he said that he wasn't trying to stop her coming with him, but she'd be a target if Voldemort and his Death Eaters saw her, so this way she could be his hidden ace in the hole.

It was no great surprise when they stepped into the clearing and saw that Voldemort had lied about meeting him alone, because the Malfoys and at least a dozen other Death Eaters were there with him.

"It is good to see that you are a man of honour Harry Potter, I must admit that I didn't believe that you would come."

"I probably wouldn't have if I'd known that you weren't a man of honour Tom, what happened to it being just us here?"

"Do not call me that name! I expected you to bring your allies Harry Potter, are they all dead or did they decide to send you to face me alone?"

"I didn't tell anyone I was coming…. Like I said I stupidly thought that you'd honour your word and face me alone. Never mind, as I rather doubt that you'll be sending your devoted servants away even though you now know that I kept my part of the bargain, why don't we get this over with?"

"Your manners have not improved since our meeting in the graveyard Harry Potter."

Harry just shrugged. "Well I seem to remember that your version of proper manners according to what you did there was to Crucio me until I could hardly stand and then have the rat throw my wand at my feet so that we could have a proper duel, so forgive me if I don't put much weight on what you regard to be proper manners Tom."

Voldemort didn't bother replying, he just whipped out his Yew and Phoenix Feather wand and cast a killing curse at Harry. Of course Harry had been expecting that and met the killing curse with an. 'Expelliarmus!'

Hermione grabbed Harry's arm when she saw Voldemort casting the killing curse so that she would be taken with him if he died, but she just joined Harry and Voldemort inside the cage of light when it formed around them. Voldemort had had no intention of being caught out like he was the last time this happened, so the Elder Wand immediately appeared in his other hand, but before he could cast anything Harry called out 'Expelliarmus!' again and snatched it from him wandlessly.

It was when Harry caught the Elder Wand that the situation really got interesting though. The Potters' invisibility cloak was touching Harry's arm where Hermione was hanging onto him and he had the Resurrection Stone in his pocket, so when he caught the Elder Wand he was in contact with all three of the Deathly Hallows, and a fourth figure suddenly appeared in the cage of light. This figure looked rather like a Dementor but it didn't smell or feel like one, which made it fairly obvious who it was in Harry's mind.

"Hello Master Death, I don't suppose I could be lucky enough for those legends about the Deathly Hallows to be true so you have to obey me if I ask you to take Tom here and let Hermione and me walk away from all this, could I?"

The figure gave a rattling laugh. "Hello Harry Potter….. No, I am afraid that the stories about the Hallows were no more than stories, the Hallows never had the power to make the one who holds them my master... The truth is that your ancesters the Peverell brothers managed to impress me enough to agree to grant them each a boon and the Hallows were what they asked for…. So Ignotus' cloak of invisibility will not actually hide you from me Miss Granger..."

Hermione pushed the hood of the cloak back. "Hello Master Death….. I didn't really think it would because like Harry, I never paid much credence to those stories... but Tom here didn't seem to be able to see me under the cloak so I was staying hidden in hope that it would give me a chance to help Harry."

"It would appear that the stories about you were correct at least Miss Granger, you are indeed the brightest witch of your age, and your plan was well reasoned… However I can see that you are rather worried about what my appearance here means for Mister Potter and yourself. Do not worry Miss Granger, no matter what he was told by Messers Dumbledore and Snape, while I will be taking something from Mister Potter, I will not be taking your mate today, or you either. However... while he cannot command me to take Tom Riddle, I will be most happy to comply with Mister Potter's request, so I will indeed be taking the last parts of Mister Riddle with me when I leave..."

"It is truly heartening to see the dedication that you and Mister Potter have for each other and I was quite moved to hear your declaration earlier Miss Granger, but the fact that neither of you appears to care where you go so long as you are together presents us with some rather interesting options…. Would it really not bother you if you never returned to the world that exists outside of the space we are currently in?"

Harry didn't speak because he was still battling to keep the bead on the link between his wand and Voldemort's from being pushed into his wand, so he just shook his head and Hermione answered for the both of them. "No Master Death, as you said, all that matters to us is that we are together."

"How would you feel about an option that would allow you to partake in a little excitement and adventure that doesn't involve made up prophecies and politics that specifically target Mister Potter for a change?"

There was another rattling laugh from the figure as Hermione looked interested at that prospect.

"Are you prepared to trust Miss Granger's judgement on where the two of you go Mister Potter?"

Harry didn't look at the figure but answered. "You already know the answer to that Master Death because you can see it in my head but yes, I trust Hermione with my life, my heart and everything else."

"I can indeed see the answer in your head Mister Potter, but you have been given precious little opportunity to actually tell the people in your life what your wishes are so I wanted to give you the opportunity to do so…. and it is always better for a young lady to hear words like that from the man she loves himself."

That made Harry pause. "Oh… In that case thank you Master Death."

"So now that you know that Mister Potter trusts you enough to make choices for the both of you Miss Granger, would a magical world with elements of Westworld which parallels your own world's history be enough to pique your interest?"

Hermione looked intrigued, and suspicious. "Harry wouldn't have to be a gunfighter would he? And I absolutely refuse to be one of those robotic saloon girls!"

Death gave another rattling laugh. "Oh, such spirit! You are delightful! No Miss Granger, Mister Potter will carry a gun because of the nature of the time and place you are going to but you will be a travelling couple, a tinker and a tailor. You will be married of course to ensure that you are accepted as a respectable woman but your given name, as fitting as it is for you, would attract too much attention in the culture you are going to Miss Granger…. However… I note that Mister Potter calls you Mia in his thoughts, would that name be acceptable to you?"

Hermione's face and voice softened as she looked at Harry. "Yes Master Death, Mia is quite acceptable to me."

"Very well, you will be known as Harry and Mia Potter. The rules of this world are similar to your own in many ways, magic exists but the only outward signs of it generally allowed are animal based automatrons powered by ambient magic, these are generally superior to domestic animals with very few faults, so most non magical people eagerly embrace the automatrons' service while ignoring their origins. Wizards and Witches have come to be called Tinkers and Tailors on this world because the wizards' public function is to fix and maintain these automatrons and while they generally work alongside the wizards doing the automatron repairs and maintenance, the mores of Nineteenth Century society normally have the witches who accompany them cast in the role of making and selling clothes so they are called Tailors. "

"As with most couples who travel around in the shared tinker, tailor role, you will have a magical gypsy caravan, but yours will be larger than most with quite a few things that other caravans don't have and will be pulled by two or four Frisian talking horse automatrons when normal people can see you. However, if you are somewhere where you are confidant that no one who doesn't know about magic will see you, the horse automatrons, harnesses and rigging can be taken inside the caravan and it can be driven as a horseless wagon, or flown if you need to travel faster or cover longer distances, so long as you are not seen. The horse automatrons can also be ridden and used as pack horses for when the places you need to go are not accessible by roads that would support the caravan. There are also two Grim automatrons which are able to stand upright, speak and serve as your guards and helpers and two more talking raven automatrons which scout out prospects and watch for danger. The automatrons in this world are normally bound to their owners through an imprinting process, but the previous owners' imprints were removed from all of these automatrons after they died and we are going to be doing something else with these automatrons….."

"You see one of the spirits in my realm has begged me to be allowed to return and watch over you because she wants to protect her son and future daughter in law Mister Potter, so one of the two Grim automatrons will be imbued with the spirit and magic of your mother Lily Potter. Another in my realm has begged to be able to serve you again so the other Grim automatron will be imbued with the spirit and magic of the house elf Dobby.…. The first of the two raven automatrons will be imbued with the spirit and magic of your familiar Hedwig Mister Potter to make use of her special abilities of a mail owl because she was distraught about being taken from you and has watched how you have been treated by most in your world most angrily, she has shown no inclination to move on because she would rather watch over you. The other raven automatron will be imbued with the spirit and magic of your friend Luna Lovegood's mother Pandora who wants to help watch over you both for your friend's sake, because she worries about the two of you, and because she was a friend of Lily Potter so she wishes to help her protect you... And the spirits and magic of Alastor Moody, Amelia Bones, Emmeline Vance and Fred Weasley are being imbued into the four horse automatrons because they begged to be given the chance to help look after the two of you. As with Missus Lovegood, their contributions to your protection and well being will mostly be restricted to their knowledge, insight, wisdom and vigilance because their forms will restrict their ability to use magic, but they are all dedicated to helping you. You should not take the fact that none of the spirits who are returning to watch over you specifically relate to you as any slight against you Miss Granger, but rather accept it as a blessing that all whom you are close to and have enough magic to be bound into these automatron forms are still in the realm of the living….."

Even if Death hadn't been able to see inside her head, Hermione's expression would have given her answer, but Harry was still watching the bead of energy and struggling with Voldemort so she answered verbally. "This world certainly sounds interesting Master Death and we would be delighted to have Dobby, Hedwig, Fred, Mister Moody, Madams Bones and Vance, Missus Lovegood and especially Missus Potter back with us, but I do have questions…. Will we be supplied with copies of the rules of this world and instructions on how to use and take care of the wagon, automatron bodies and other things we are supplied with?"

"Yes."

"Will we be told what we're really supposed to be doing in this new world, and what the dangers and pitfalls are, or are we going to be kept in the dark and be made to fumble around until we manage to find a clue like we had to do in this world?"

Death shook his head. "I can see that I will have to reconsider the tasks Albus Dumbledore was assigned to atone for his actions in life, as his own memories cast him in far better light than you and Mister Potter's memories do, or rather all of your memories, as Mister Dumbledore also needs to answer for what he did to Mister Riddle to set him on his path…. As for your question Miss Granger, Missus Potter and the other witches and wizards all know the history and current events of this world and will help guide you around problems, but there is a problem of prejudice in this world. The war between the States in America, where you will be, was recently fought over the issue of slavery just as it was in your world, but the north had a slanted view on the matter on this world, as they were using dog based automatrons to do much the same work as slaves did in the south. So while I quite agree that living people should be treated better than automatrons, the north was basically punishing the south for not having the same access to automatrons as they did in this world….."

"I also have to admit that the gypsy caravan and automatrons that you will acquire in this world previously belonged to a couple who were killed by members of the Klu Klux Klan because they regard the Tinkers as being responsible for the Automatrons who were the real reason for the war they had just lost in their minds. The caravan and automatrons have been repaired and relocated to a safer area with their appearance changed but there is resentment against the automatrons and tinkers in some quarters and you may well run into that….. The Tinker who Mister Potter will be taking the place of was apparently a weapons dealer as well as there is quite an array of weapons and materials and equipment to build them in the caravan, they may well have been trying to sell advanced weapons to the Klansmen who killed them but the automatrons killed all the Klansmen after they killed the couple and I do not know what was happening before the first death occurred…. I am sorry Miss Granger, I have been proceeding on the basis that the two of you still choose to go to this world, has the information I just gave you changed your decision?"

Hermione obviously still wanted to go but she looked at Harry. "Harry?"

Without looking away from the bead of energy he responded. "I meant what I said Hermione, I trust you to make the right choice for us, but without you there's nothing but Neville and Luna left to hold me to this world, and I have to admit that the idea of a wild west adventure and the thought of having Dobby, Hedwig, Fred, Luna's and my Mum and all the others back is brilliant."

She smiled and turned back to Death. "Yes please Master Death, we still choose to go to this Magical Westworld of yours."

He gave another rattling laugh. "Magical Westworld, I like that, I think that will be that world's label from now on…. Now, this is what will be happening... Your bodies in this world will need to vanish for you to be sent to the other world and I need to extract the part of Tom Riddle that still exists in Mister Potter before you leave…. I am also taking all of Mister Riddle's followers who are waiting outside the space where we are currently existing to my realm to be judged and give an accounting for their actions, so I believe I will use a magical explosion to destroy all your bodies and everything else within twenty metres or so outside of this space. When I tell you to Miss Granger, capture Mister Riddle's wand from him and hold onto it, there will be at least three wand users among you in your new world so another wand is likely to be of use to you..."

Hermione sent a worried look Voldemort's way. "Do not worry Miss Granger, the only parts Mister Riddle has heard of our conversation are what the two of you have spoken aloud, so I dare say that he is quite confused by now."

Hermione ran through what she and Harry had said out loud and quirked a smile, yes, if that was all Voldemort had heard he probably was confused. She nodded to Death to indicate that she understood and got her wand ready. She'd cried out 'Expelliarmus!' before Death had gotten past 'Now' when he said "Now Miss Granger!" and caught Riddle's Yew and Phoenix Feather wand just before their world disappeared.

She woke up laying in grass at Harry's side, with two large black dogs which she presumed were Lily Potter and Dobby's automatron forms laying nearby, at a guess she'd say the smaller one with an expectant look was Harry's Mum and the other one looking eager was Dobby... The caravan Death had spoken of was in front of them, a rather imposing sight as it was all black except for the silver trim and highlights, with a large raven which she presumed was either Hedwig or Pandora Lovegood's automatron form perched on the caravan wheel closest to them.

The smaller of the two dogs cocked its head to one side as it looked at them and spoke, but its voice was much softer and more feminine than she expected. "You did well dealing with Death as you did Hermione Granger. I can see that you are the woman my son needs at his side to help him deal with the problems he must face in life, but he would do well to give up the idea that I didn't see that he's woken up and is listening to us!"

Harry opened his eyes and sat up, looking a little shame faced, and both Hermione and the automatrons approved when he turned to Hermione to make sure that she was alright before he addressed the dog automatron that held his mother's soul. The dog shook its head impatiently though when his first words were. "Aside from the green eyes, you're not much like what I was expecting Mum."

"I can see that even the short time you spent with Sirius Black was enough to make you think you're as funny as your father and his friends thought they were Harry, that is a habit we will have to break you out of quick smart…. And while I love hearing you call me Mum, that will lead to too many questions that we can't answer, so I think you should start getting into the habit of calling me Lily, both of you…. Just as most of us in the automatron bodies will have to get into the habit of talking in the type of voices ordinary people would expect to hear instead of our own in public... But I think it's time that you greeted your friends Dobby and Hedwig Harry, they have been patient but they have missed you almost as much as I..."

"Hello Hedwig, Hello Dobby, it's wonderful to see you again my friends, even if you do look like more like Padfoot than yourself Dobby."

Hedwig flew over to perch on Harry's shoulder and rub her head on his face as Dobby blurted out.

"Harry Potter and Harry Potter's Hermione! I never thought I would see you again after my old master's manor. I am sorry that I did not manage to get you free before you were hurt…."

Harry laughed. "Dobby, Dobby stop! You have nothing to apologise for! You saved us and sacrificed yourself for us, I don't know whether you heard what I said over your grave but I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me, for us…"

Dobby rose to four legs then two and approached and Hedwig fluttered over to perch on Hermione's shoulder and greet her as Harry stood to meet him, taken aback that Dobby was at least half a head taller than him when he was standing upright like this, and he was six foot tall. He was much slighter than Harry but he was definitely imposing. Dobby obviously had no idea what to do when he was standing in front of Harry so Harry just did what Hermione would have done and hugged him. Hermione stepped up to hug the crying Dobby after Harry and then Lily interrupted them.

"While I wish that we could stay here and have a nice reunion, the caravan has been seen by riders from the town that's just over those hills, so I think we'd best get out of here. Pandora and the others' horse forms are already inside the caravan with all their gear so I suggest that we fly the caravan out of here before anyone else turns up. From what I've seen you'll be up for any sort of magical flying Harry, but I think that you might actually enjoy this Hermione because you'll be safe inside the caravan rather than exposed on a broomstick. These caravans and the automatrons are two areas where I think this world is definitely ahead of our's, but it seems to have much more ambient magic to power them."

They all agreed with her suggestion and climbed into the caravan, not really surprised to find that it was expanded to form a good sized two storey house with a basement inside. Hedwig took off and climbed a few hundred feet into the air to do a loop around the area before returning to say with a voice like the raven from Willow that no-one was in sight yet so they were good to go. In the meantime Lily walked them through what runes to use as she activated the magical drive for the caravan, how the small wooden steering wheel mounted on a pedestal that moved forward and back steered them them left or right or up or down and the lever beside the steering wheel pedestal determined how fast they'd go forward or back. It was close enough to driving a car that Hermione didn't think she'd have too much trouble doing what Lily was doing as she turned the wagon around to face away from the hills the town was behind and had them in the air, travelling away from the town at a good clip in less than five minutes. Once they were in the air, Lily showed them how to activate what were effectively the autopilot and anti-collision runes so they were free to have a quick look around their new home.

It didn't take long to see that they wouldn't be roughing it in the caravan, upstairs was taken up by a number of spacious bedrooms and bathrooms, the 'ground' level was the living area with a large, well appointed kitchen among other things and the basement had the work and storage areas. The workshop was amazing, and they could see what Death was talking about from the armoury coming off the workshop, but the clothing manufacture area and the materials store were quite impressive too… Hermione was feeling the texture of a roll of supple dragonhide and thinking about what Harry would look like in a pair of tight jeans and a vest made out of this.

Lily barked a laugh at that, and did it again at Hermione's panicked look. "No, I can't read your mind Hermione, but it was easy to tell what you're thinking by your flushed face and the looks you were shooting at Harry, which leads to another issue we were going to have to deal with sooner rather than later anyway… You both need clothes that are suitable for this world and period, you especially Hermione because while you look very nice in those jeans, respectable women do not wear tight trousers in this world in Eighteen Sixty Eight, any more than they did in our world back then. We have magical tape measures and patterns and pictures of what the outfits look like when they're being worn in here…. So while the rest can wait, I'd suggest that at the very least we run up a skirt that's no shorter than ankle length for yourself while we're here Hermione, hopefully that will be enough to tide you over until we have time to make up proper wardrobes for the two of you, and something for Dobby and I as well."

Hermione grumbled about that but had to concede her point because Magical Britain had been almost that bad in Nineteen Ninety Eight, so with Lily's help she used what they had in the tailoring station to quickly run up a skirt that she put on over her jeans for now, her jeans wouldn't show if she tucked them into her boots.

They decided that half an hour's flight time was enough to get them well away from where they'd started so they found a secluded spot and Lily set the caravan down. Harry was starting to think that his Mum was a worse nag than Hermione ever was when she insisted that he learn to harness the others' horse forms up properly, but she didn't find his comment of "Come Prancer, come Vixen, come Donner, come Blitzen!" funny either. "What did I tell you about thinking that you're funny like your father and his friends did? We have all agreed to come back and be bound into these forms to help you! Show a little respect please!"

It was Hermione who spoke up though. "We do need to learn how to do what is expected of us and they all deserve our respect and thanks Harry, though it would seem strange to be calling them Mister or Madam, perhaps it would be better if we agreed a familiar form for everyone's names now?"

That was more to Lily's taste. "Yes! Now that's a sound suggestion. Thank you Hermione, it's good to see that someone here has some sense…."

She broke off when she caught Hermione's pointed look at her pissed off son.

"Oh I'm sorry Sweetie, I've just been taking out all my anger at your father and his friends out on you without actually explaining any of it, haven't I?…. Okay…. I know that this doesn't excuse what I've done, but while for you all this happened in the space of a few minutes while you were engaged with Voldemort in that cage of light, it seemed like weeks of pointless arguing where we were. It was hard to tell who was there because we were just discorporate spirits who had enough interest in what happened to you for us to be attracted there but I could sense who your father and some of the others were. Death explained what we'd been called there for, showed us what the eight automatron bodies looked like and gave a brief overview of how they worked and what they could do. He was probably listening to everyone's arguments at once but to me it seemed that it was just one long stream where everyone was making their pitch to be included, one after the other."

"For some reason Albus Bloody Dumbledore was there and he actually had the gall to insist that he should be here to 'show you the right path', and your father and his friends were outraged when Death banished him to some forgotten corner of his realm before he was halfway through his spiel and then turned around and said that I would be one of the ones who came back and watched over you because not only had I directly sacrificed myself for you as a mother should, I had skills and knowledge that could help you when none of them did, so they were arguing about who was going to come back as the other forms."

"Sirius Black took the form of the Grim automatron bodies to be a sign that he was the one who would be coming back in one of them, but the idiot just refused to accept the point that he wouldn't have been dead if he'd taken the fight with his crazy cousin seriously instead of acting like it was all a game, or for that matter that you wouldn't have been put through fifteen years of hell by Tuney and those fat bastards she has for a husband and son if he'd honoured the oath he'd made to be your Godfather instead of just handing you over to Hagrid without question so that he would be free to chase after Pettigrew to salve his wounded pride…. Death soon got tired of him ignoring how much he'd failed you and going on about what a great prank this was going to be and he disappeared."

"Remus Lupin wasn't as bad as Sirius, but his son has been left an orphan because he and his wife both put being seen to be heroes above taking him and getting the hell out of there, they were parents and their first responsibility was to their son, not Magical Britain or even you, but they left their own five month old son for someone else to raise because they couldn't get over their pride... And for that matter even after everything they've seen they still can't admit that Dumbledore is a self centred monster who was quite willing to have you, me and everyone else slaughtered as long as he came out of it looking like the great, wise leader who gave his all for his Greater Good. I wasn't willing to have your mind being poisoned with that sort of shite and obviously neither was Death, because Remus disappeared and it was only your father left."

"James believed that he was guaranteed to be coming with me at that point, but Death finally managed to get it through to him that he had to prove that he could actually help you if he came back with me, and that's where it started to all fall apart, because he was arrogantly telling Death that you were his son and no one had the right to question the fact that he was the best person to show you what to do. On top of that, he was even worse than Remus when it came to blindly believing in Albus Dumbledore."

"In the end Death dismissed him as well and I thought that I'd be coming back by myself even though there were eight automatron bodies, but I didn't care so long as I could be there to help the two of you. That was when Death told me that there were seven others who had been accepted because they were also dedicated to watching over two of you. He brought in Dobby, Hedwig, Pandora Lovegood, Alastor Moody, Amelia Bones, Emmeline Vance and Fred Weasley's spirits and we agreed that as Dobby and I would be able to use magic in this world best we would be the ones to be bonded to the Grim automatron bodies, Pandora had a hawk animagus form in her last life so she and Hedwig became the ravens because the nuances of avian flight are more difficult to master than running and the others took the horse forms."

"So that is why I react so angrily when you are behaving like your father and his friends Harry. They should all be here with me to help look after you two but they refuse to grow up or open their eyes and see what's right in front of them. To a very large degree your father and Sirius both died because Albus Dumbledore actively planned to get rid of them to stop them interfering with his plans for you, but they and Remus and Nymphadora Lupin still think that the sun shines out of Albus Dumbledore's bloody arse even after everything he's done that they could see if they'd just open their eyes. All of the bindings, compulsions, memory manipulations and everything else had disappeared when they died so they no longer had those excuses for following the old bastard blindly... And in their damned Marauder arrogance none of them would even consider coming back as a talking horse, not even your father whose animagus form wasn't much different, which resulted in them being found to be less worthy than a house elf and a familiar…. I know that I need to learn to try and hold my temper in Sweetie but I'm just worried about you and Hermione because even if we don't have to worry about Voldemort and his Death Eaters here, this is a rough world and you have so much to learn before you will be ready to mingle with the people of this world…."

"I'm sorry Mum, I need to learn to hold in my temper too, it's just that it seemed like everything I've done since we got here was wrong and it was less than an hour ago that I left Hogwarts planning to let Voldemort kill me so that someone else would be able to kill him and end his reign of terror. Not to mention the fact that we had a very strange conversation with Death while I was fighting a duel with Voldemort and then we, Voldemort, his Death Eaters and everything else within twenty metres or so was turned into pure energy and Hermione and I ended up here in a Magical Westworld as Hermione calls it, but I was pissed off and trying to be a smart arse."

He turned to those in the horse forms and apologised. "Please forgive me for my rude and ungrateful behaviour. My only excuse is that I'm feeling rather overwhelmed at the moment. I really do appreciate the sacrifice you are all making for us, even if I have a poor way of showing it."

Most of them nodded and said that they accepted his apology, but it was strange, hearing voices that were similar but not quite the same as he remembered coming from the four magnificent horses.

They agreed that those with the horse forms would be called Moody, Ami, Fred and Emma and they accepted the indignity of Dobby marking these names in their rumps like a brand to identify them because they looked identical otherwise. What Harry noted as Dobby was doing that made him stop and take a closer look and Lily nodded.

"Yes, that's one of the things we haven't had time to go into yet, their cloven hooves were part of the modifications that were made to create fighting automatrons. The Grim and horse automatrons are almost were forms as their teeth and claws extend to at least twice their original length and become sharper on demand, that's what was behind the horses getting cloven hooves and how the automatrons wiped out the Klansmen who killed the last tinker and tailor. And all of these automatron bodies can also talk so that they can report what they've seen to their masters…..."

"I think these particular automatron bodies were the real reason why Death chose this world for you, because from what I've seen there isn't anything else like them. I doubt that Dobby, Hedwig, Pandora, Alastor, Ami, Emma, Fred and I could have been bonded to these automatron bodies as we were if all the frameworks and mechanisms inside weren't made of Goblin Silver with large, high quality crystals to store quite a bit of accumulated magical energy, and they also have protective wards and layers of dragonhide over the important parts inside so we're very hard to damage. Goblin Silver has the same magical properties in this world as it does in ours so Death basically used our spirits to enchant the automatron forms, like the sorting hat at Hogwarts."

"Most automatrons have their frameworks and mechanisms made out of steel, except for those parts which have the runes engraved into them or are being used as conduits, which are made out of ordinary silver, and the crystals they use are much lower quality so they can't store much magical energy. Most of them can't operate for more than five or six hours at a time, or an hour or two if they're doing heavy work, without taking a break to absorb more magic, but our automatron bodies are more powerful and can go for several times as long."

"The frame and workings, wheels and suspension of the caravan are also Goblin Silver and it's got big high quality crystals to store loads of magical energy and between its wards, dragonhide covers and the Gatling guns and revolving cannons mounted underneath it's pretty much a little mobile fortress. Our automatron bodies and the caravan all have what appear to be government markings inside so I believe what happened was that someone captured a Union government research site where they were trying to develop superior magical war wagons, automatron war dogs, war horses, airborne scouts and weapons towards the end of the war and stole everything they had there, then the Tinker and Tailor who were killed got them somehow if they weren't the ones who stole them."

With that explanation, Harry and Hermione helped attach the rigging to the caravan and harness the 'horses', then spent the rest of the day learning to drive them and ride them, and learning the basics of using the guns that they had in the caravan.

These guns were definitely far advanced of what they'd expect to find in that era, even though the core elements were based on guns that had come out or were coming out in the next couple of years. The handguns were basically the LeMat combination revolver crossed with the Smith & Wesson Model 3 top break revolver that came out in 1870 in 'their' world. They had double action trigger mechanisms and the eight inch long main barrel was mounted underneath the shotgun barrel to improve accuracy and reduce recoil effects, while the grip frames were designed to fit the hand better so they pointed more easily and better. These revolvers were made in four calibres, .34, .38, .41 and .46 (which unlike most labels were very close to the actual size at .338, .376, .410 and .459).

The .34 carried nine .34 cartridges up to 2 inches long in the cylinder and one 24 Gauge shell in the central shotgun barrel.

The .38 carried nine .38 cartridges up to just over 2 inches long in the cylinder and one 20 Gauge shell in the central shotgun barrel.

The .41 carried nine .41 cartridges up to just over 2 inches long in the cylinder and one 16 Gauge shell in the central shotgun barrel, and

The .46 carried eight .46 cartridges up to 2 1/3 inches long in the cylinder and one 14 Gauge shell in the central shotgun barrel.

The revolvers the Tinker and Tailor made for themselves were slender and elegant Goblin Silver creations with recoil reducing, accuracy enhancing, sound reducing and self cleaning runes engraved into them, and the potions based propellants made the smokeless Goblin Silver centrefire ammunition they used in them far more powerful than the ordinary ammunition.

The ones they made for sale were made of high quality steel but the cylinder and barrel walls had to be made thicker as steel wasn't as strong as Goblin Silver. They didn't have the runes engraved in them of course and while the steel casing centrefire ammunition they sold was smokeless because it used cordite, wasn't as powerful as their special ammunition. The ammunition made for these guns had been based on standard shells, so at a pinch their customers could use standard ammunition (well they could for the .38s and .46s at least, there wasn't much .34 or .41 ammunition around), but few wanted to go back to the less powerful and messier black powder ammunition after using the smokeless ammunition.

Even though what they sold to others was nowhere as good as their own guns, they were more powerful, carried more rounds, shot better and could be reloaded far faster in a package that was comparable in both size and weight to normal revolvers, so they weren't surprised that the amount of gold in safe on the caravan was showing that they had been doing a roaring trade.

They were also selling rifle versions of the handguns, along with slide action rifles in .34, .38, .41, .46, .52 and .58 calibre and shotguns in 24, 20, 16, 14, 12 and 10 Gauge which had dual tube magazines mounted above the barrels for the same reason as the revolvers, and could be fired really fast by holding the trigger back and slam firing the cartridges as they were pumped into the chamber.

As with the revolver handguns and rifles, they had improved Goblin Silver versions of the slide action rifles and shotguns, and these also had runes to double the cartridge capacity by internally expanding the tube magazines.

While they were blasting away, getting used to these guns, Harry realised another advantage of having automatron horses rather that 'real' ones, because the automatrons when they were at rest basically shut down and weren't bothered at all by the guns firing right next to them, which even trained horses would have been.