AN: This is a songfic based off of the song "You Can Let Go Now Daddy" Crystal Shawanda. I actually kind of cried while writing it, but that was only because I was listening to the song on repeat to try to capture the emotion. Hehe. To be clear, I wholeheartedly believe that Ziva is alive, but a friend of mine suggested I write something super sad like this, so here you go. Enjoy!
It had been three years since Ziva David passed away, but two years since Tony DiNozzo actually accepted that fact. He missed her more and more every day. Every time Tali had a major milestone, he would think of the love of his life, Ziva.
'Ziva would love to be here for this.'
'Ziva would be so proud.'
'My God, Tali looks more like Ziva every day.'
These thoughts would not leave him alone, and a small part of him didn't want them to. He needed to remember Ziva. In fact, he didn't think he could ever forget her, even for one second.
Wind blowing on my face
Sidewalk flying beneath my bike
A five year old's first taste
Of what freedom's really like
He was running right beside me
His hand holding on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street
These were the thoughts running through his head as he stood next to a five-year-old Tali. She was finally learning how to ride real bike-without training wheels. Tali figured she had the hang of it. She looked at her daddy, who was running right beside her, ensuring she wouldn't fall over.
But she was ready.
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I'm ready
To do this on my own
It's still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
"Daddy, I can do it! Let me go!" She said confidently.
"...Alright baby girl." He replied hesitantly.
Tali zoomed off down the street. She looked as if she had been riding a regular bike for years. She even managed to turn around! Tony watched her, but his mind was somewhere else.
'I wonder what Ziva would say to her.' He thought sadly.
'My little girl is so strong, just like her mother. She has the same curly hair, the same Mona Lisa smile, the same attitude when she doesn't get what she wants, and the same internal strength that confused and mesmerized me for years.' He thought as the situation forced him to reminisce.
Oh how he missed her.
As soon as he finished the thought, Tali pulled up beside him with a huge smile on her face.
"Did you see me daddy?" She asked excitedly.
"I saw the whole thing baby girl. You did amazing! I'm so proud of you!" He replied genuinely.
"The turn was kinda scary, but I went slow and did it all by myself!" She was obviously very proud of herself.
"I know, baby. You were very impressive out there. You might even beat me in a race!" He teased.
She laughed that beautiful laugh of hers. That was another thing she shared with her mother.
"Well, maybe one day. But for now, we need to go inside. It's almost time for dinner." He said, allowing his fatherly side to peek through.
Today had been a good day.
I was standin' at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I've been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
'Who gives this woman?'
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin' tightly to my arm
'Till I whispered in his ear
Many years had passed since Tali learned how to ride her bike. She had gone through elementary, middle, and high school, and had graduated college only a couple years before.
She had grown into a beautiful woman who, much like her mother, attracted many men. She met the one for her.
The wedding bells rung throughout the church as everyone settled in their seats. Today would be the day that Tali DiNozzo wed the love of her life, Alexander Martin.
Tony was so proud of his baby girl. She was not only beautiful on the outside, she had a heart of gold too. He offered his daughter his arm and walked her down the aisle... slowly.
"Dad, you can't delay this any longer." She laughed quietly.
"Maybe not, but I'm going to try." He chuckled back, attempting to hide his sadness with a smile.
Eventually, much to Tony's chagrin, they reached the altar. The preacher's voice filled the room.
"Who gives this woman?" He asked.
Tony was reluctant to give her up. She was his everything since he lost Ziva, and to be honest, he really didn't want to share with another man. Even if he was a world-renowned neurosurgeon who made a lot of money and could give his daughter unconditional love and everything else she wanted.
'She will be happy.' He reminded himself.
Tali turned to whisper something in his ear. Only then did he reply:
"Her father." He said as tears filled his eyes.
He smiled over at his daughter and went to sit down.
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I'm ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
Tony was going to miss seeing his daughter all the time- or at least every weekend like when she was in college. It should have been the other way around, but she was his rock since he lost the love of his life.
She was gone now. The team had sort of alienated him once they found out Ziva and he had a daughter. They couldn't understand how he could do that to her. How he could make love to her and leave her behind the next day?
But they didn't know she had forced him to leave her.
'Damnit Tony, your daughter will be happy. She will grow old with the love of her life, have beautiful children and grandchildren, and the all-around American Dream her mother searched for but found too late.' He had to remind himself constantly, otherwise he didn't think he could bear this.
'Jesus, it's not like she's dead, she just has someone else.'
If only he had someone else-like Tali's mother-as well.
It was killin' me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin' away to nothin'
In that hospital room
'You know he's only hangin' on for you'
That's what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin'
As I crawled up in his bed, and said
It had been 20 years after Tali's wedding that Tony was diagnosed with colon cancer. He was deteriorating rapidly. Tali stayed with him whenever she could, and her own family sometimes tagged along. She did have her kids to take care of, though, so she didn't get to stay every day.
From what the doctor told her, her father had been visited by some of his old friends, Timothy McGee and Abby Sciuto. Her father used to tell her stories about their days as a team. He would always include an elaborate story about how amazing her mother was.
From what they told her father, two men whom she also remembered from her father's stories had passed away long ago. Their names were Gibbs and Ducky Mallard.
They never had the chance to make amends.
Sighing, Tali entered her father's room. She would never get used to the sight of her invincible father living out the rest of his days bed-ridden.
She had stayed until the night time. As she got up to leave, the night nurse entered the room.
"You're the only reason he has made it this long, you know." That was all she said.
She tended to Tony's IV bag and walked out.
Tali's eyes filled with tears as she walked over to her father. She sat next to him on his bed and gently shook his shoulder to wake him. She let out a quiet sob as she realized he probably only had hours left on this earth.
She shook him again with the same gentle touch.
"Ziva?" He questioned.
She froze. That was her mother's name.
"Ziva? I love you, Ziva." This broke her heart. These were the only words he had spoken in the past few days.
You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It's gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I'll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go
"Daddy, it's me, Tali." She said, barely hanging on.
"You... Y-You can let go now, d-daddy." She said as her voice broke and she let out another quiet sob. And another, and another, until she was sure she would pass out from all the tears.
"I'm ready. I-I will miss you so much, s-so much." She struggled through.
"But it is your time, and I-I need you to know that I'll be ok." She whispered the last part so she wouldn't break down.
With tears still spilling out of her eyes, she cuddled up next to her daddy, kissed his cheek, and let sleep take her away.
She woke up to the sound of a flat line on the heart monitor. Tali rose out of the bed, making use of every ounce of willpower she had left to not break down. She kissed her dad once again, this time on the forehead, and said:
"I will always love you daddy. I will never forget you."
She walked out of the hospital after signing a few papers. She would be ok.
Her daddy is watching over her now after all.
AN: I hope you guys liked my little story! If you did -or didn't- maybe you could uh... *gently nudges you with my elbow* drop a review?