Reminiscence
Love was a concept that left Ailith Trevelyan's mind in bits and pieces. It was a questionable matter, one she barely understood despite already passing twenty-seven namedays and yet it intrigued her as if she hadn't known about it all her life. Yes, she's heard about it, talked about it, imagined about it, but the thing that bothered her the most was whether she had ever felt such feeling. She loved her friends and family, there was no doubt in that, although wasn't that kind of love different than the love that was noticeable in her parents' eyes whenever they looked at each other? Different than the love she had for her friends who had treated her no different than they would treat themselves? There was a certain kind of love that was so unknown, so complicated that even the Inquisitor herself was afraid to feel.
But unbeknownst to her, she had already developed it.
"Are you okay?" A tone of concern filled her ears as a sneeze itched the bottom of her nose. The voice was familiar, one that was all too difficult to forget considering the amount of time she had heard it for the past couple of months. And surprisingly, it was a voice that managed to make her feel several different emotions all at once without her knowing why and how he does it.
"I'm fine," She answered, eyes drifting away from the darkness of the valley below and onto the other's shadowed figure, "Just got a bit of a headache is all, nothing to worry about," She was drowning in more than what she was letting on; her lungs were burning, throat had been nothing but a bother all day and she wasn't even sure if she could smell anything. Her head was doing more than aching and her shoulders were all but okay.
She hadn't even eaten and that was saying something.
"I would say that you look pale, but then again, I can't exactly see you with just the moon's light."
A chuckle, or what sounded like one, escaped Ailith's throat before a heavy cough took over. She felt him shift on his feet beside her, a hand placed onto her shoulder as the distance of several inches shortened between them.
"Are you sure you're fine?" The Commander asked again as his grip on her shoulder tightened slightly, quiet in his voice. She bobbed her head as a reply, cough finally easing into nothing but a wheeze in her lungs. However, even that didn't seem to give much reassurance to the Inquisition's beloved Commander of the forces.
"I'm fine, really," She smiled amidst the dark, covering his hand with her own, which was considerably small compared to his, "Choked," clearly a lie.
Cullen had stayed silent by then, his hold on her gradually disappearing, expression difficult to see much to her dislike. She could make out his features, but barely when it came to the defining crease in his eyebrows nor the frown on his lips as he read right through her fib. Then after the passing of what seemed like hours, she finally heard a sigh from him, long and dragged out.
"Did I tell you that I use to be sick a lot when I was a boy?"
"I always thought you were one of those children who'd play outside all day long, even in the rain," Relieved in some way, Ailith turned her head towards the vast view of nothing once more, "But you? Bedridden? Can't imagine it."
He laughed, "Not all day, but it was one of the reasons I got sick. I'd run around the village, playing chase with the others and wooden swords with my brother. I'd get tired, but that didn't exactly stop me - after all, templars looked like they never got tired. Then my mother would call me back when it was time for lunch, and straight after that, out I went once again. It was... a sense of freedom that I had not yet known about, especially when it started raining, when other kids rushed back into their homes as if the weather was poisonous. Not me though, stayed out and hit whatever I could with my sword."
"Didn't your mother tell you to get inside when it started raining?"
"Oh, she did, told me I would get sick if I didn't."
Ailith's brow rose as of that instant, mouth slightly agape at his answer. "And you still didn't go in?"
"Sometimes I did, other times I wouldn't. I told her that I was so strong there was possibly no way I would get sick. Needless to say, I couldn't go out and play the next day because a fever came around and I was stuck in bed. It was horrible and I regretted not listening to her, but she never got angry with me. She did scold me, but one could tell that it was really out of worry rather than anger."
"And yet you still thought that it was impossible for it to happen because you were so strong, apparently," the words were said in a joking matter, one that earned the Inquisitor another sound of a chuckle.
"And I was! It was just proof that even the strong ones are capable of getting sick," A pause, the warmth of his gloved hands wounding around hers seconds later, "It's okay to take a break every now and then, you don't always have to come back then leave a day or two after," there was so much sincerity in his voice that Ailith hadn't known how to react, let alone the fact that he was holding her hand. There was a light flutter in her stomach, words long forgotten as she stared at his softened gaze in the dark. It was hard to see, yet something told her that it was definitely there.
Moments went by and he didn't let go, neither did she. Comforting silence had surrounded them just as a zephyr made itself known against her skin, sending a chill down her spine. It triggered an unexpected sneeze, although Ailith had managed to hold it back slightly in order to keep it as quiet as she could. And with that, the moment was broken as an exasperated breath followed afterwards.
"Looks like it's time for you to head to your chambers, Inquisitor. Come, I'll walk with you."
"No, it's fine, you don't have to," Ailith scrunched her nose as if it helped her to breathe better, cursing in her mind about how much she despised being sick. But that train of thought soon crashed as she felt a squeeze around her hand.
"I know I don't have to, but I want to," as if catching his words, he cleared his throat and said, "Because it's late and... you never know what might happen. After all, it's all the way at the other side, so it's better if I walk with you," another pause, "That is if... you don't mind, of course," his voice had gone quiet by then, almost like he were embarrased.
It was her turn to be silent, confused as there was a thing nudging on the corners of her mind. It was a feeling of some sort, standing out from her headache, sore throat and blocked nose. It was a feeling that went against everything she told herself to do. It was a feeling that she wasn't quite sure how to perceive as. And as much as she tried to stop it from happening, a tired but genuine smile broke out and she returned the squeeze, "Lead the way, Commander."