AN: I own nothing, this is AU, Dean wasn't that hurt in the car crash, John never made his deal, He died after getting between Dean and a blade that was meant to kill Dean when one of Azazel's children decided to get revenge. Azazel is dead, Dean shot him, Jake stabbed Sam in the back like in the shows but John stopped Dean from making the deal for Sam's life. After that Dean's part is over and he doesn't have to hunt anymore.
"I love you Eliot, I love you So much, and, and that's why I can't do this. This has to stop El, I love you, and I don't want to lose you like that, I'm not going to let you get killed because of me, I've lost too many people I love that way, I can't let that happen to you too, I love you Eliot, I Do, but I can't be with you, we can't be together, and I'm sorry, I'm so Sorry, that I let it go this long, I never expected to fall in love El, especially not this deep, I love you, I'm sorry I'm no good for you, I'd just get you killed, I can't let that happen, I'm leaving tonight please don't look for me" Dean said his voice full of emotions he usually hid, he leaned in and kissed Eliot goodbye, then turned to leave.
Every argument Eliot could have made died on his lips, and disappeared from his mind so instead he caught up to Dean before he could walk out of their hotel room.
He grabbed Dean's arm "De" he managed to choke out, "El don't, please don't, we both know I have to go" Dean said, Eliot jerked him back towards him and kissed him fiercely, Dean kissed him back just as fiercely then pulled away "Eliot, please don't make this harder than it already is, I have to go" he said his voice cracking.
"Not yet, you don't hav'ta to leave yet, I, babe, I, I want somethin' to, to remember you by" Eliot managed to reply, "make love with me, one last time, before you hav'ta go" Eliot begged.
Dean paused for a moment, "your right" he whispered softly " I don't have to leave yet" he leaned in and kissed Eliot again.
When Eliot woke up the next day Dean was gone leaving nothing but a note, Eliot cried for months, every time something reminded him of Dean his chest felt like it was about to explode.
Friends who knew Dean, or even just knew about him asked where he was, what'd happened to him, and the ones who didn't just asked what was wrong with Eliot, all of which would always just upset Eliot all over again, so eventually everyone stopped asking then a while after meeting Nate, Parker, Hardison and Sophie and becoming part of a team, he told Hardison and Nate both about Dean, at different times, in different ways, but they both knew something 'bout him, knew he had something to do with Eliot's still broken heart.
Then one day, just when Eliot started to think he'd heal, he saw Dean again, from across the street.
They'd locked eyes, the expression on Dean's previously blank face morphed into one of absolute heart ache and pain, and Eliot knew that Dean felt the same way he did about them being apart, knew he always had. The next night, Dean came to the bar; he slowly made his way toward Eliot pausing to talk to the bartender, which gave Eliot the chance to move to a more private table. Dean came over and stood by the table.
"Hi" he said softly, "Hey" Eliot replied staring at the table, "how are you?" Dean asked his voice still soft, but Eliot could hear him anyway "alone, but alright I guess, you?" Eliot said looking up, his eyes full of pain. "Alone, and I don't know, Free? Is that what you call it when the revenge trip/war is over?" Dean replied.
Eliot looked at him, confused and maybe kind of interested "wanna tell me about it?" he asked softly
"I'd like that" Dean replied and sat down in across from Eliot in the booth.
They sat and talked for a while, Dean told him about finding the demon and killing it, About Sam's death and then John's, He didn't tell Eliot he was done with hunting. Eliot told him about Nate and the team.
Then at one point Dean mentioned that he wished Eliot and he could get back together, and Eliot kind of went quiet after that, claiming exhaustion when Dean asked what was up, after which they said goodnight Eliot went to his apartment and Dean to his hotel room.
A couple of nights later Eliot was at the bar again and Dean walked in.
Eliot walked onto the stage, ready to give it all up, and give into the pain he was feeling.
He waited a minute, to gain some control over his emotions, and then he stepped up to the microphone and started to sing, pouring his heart, and all his feelings into the song.
"My friends say, their proud of me, for taking our break up so casually" he nodded toward the team.
"But they don't see what lies behind my smile" he gave a small smile.
"It appears that I'm okay that I moved on when you walked away but the truth is since you said goodbye" he looked straight at Dean "I'm invisibly shaken and quietly breakin' desperately takin' one breath at a time beneath this composure I know it's over Baby I'm dying cause you can't be mine but I will never show the toll it's taken cause I'm invisibly shaken"
Dean stared back at Eliot, his expression pained again.
"If it looks like I don't care, that it's not killing me seeing you here, and hearing you say you want to try us again, believe me, it ain't easy being this cool, but too many times boy, I've been your fool and I know I'd just end up here again, Invisibly shaken, and quietly breakin', desperately takin' one breath at a time, beneath this composure, I know it's over, baby I'm dying cause you can't be mine, but I will never show the toll it's taken, Cause I'm invisibly shaken, baby I'm dying cause you can't be mine, but I will never show it's taken, cause I'm invisibly shaken"
Eliot ended his staring contest with Dean, looking down, then he slowly walked off the stage, looking everywhere but at Dean.
Which is why it startled him so much when he felt a hand grasping his shoulder, he whipped his head around to see Dean standing there, his eyes searching, his expression was kind worried, and almost hopeful at the same time,
"I can't think of any reason to walk away from you again, and I REALLY don't want to, so if you don't mind, I'd like to stay right here" He said firmly looking into Eliot's eyes.
"You?, you can stay?" was Eliot's shocked reply.
"You want to stay?" he questioned.
Dean leaned forward and kissed him full on the mouth "I always wanted to stay El, I just couldn't because I was putting you in danger, but, it's okay now, the demon is dead, so the worst of the danger's over, and I think we can handle the rest" he ended cockily "as long as you want me here?" he added letting some of his old insecurities show.
"I Do" Eliot said.
"Good, I'm glad of that" Dean said and kissed Eliot again.
"Now, I don't have to sing about it right?" Eliot laughed, "No Dee you ain't gotta sing 'bout it"