Rating: T/light M

Pairing: Jane/Maura

Content: Drama/angst/Hurt and Comfort

The ending is open. Decide it how you wish.

This fic was originally a chapter in a story called request fics. I have since taken that down and decided to make each chapter from there its own story. Enjoy.

Jane slowly opened the door to her old apartment. It had been 16 years since she had been in this apartment, in this state, in this city. She slowly walked in with her daughter. 15 year old Emma had grown so much from the last time she was here. She sighed and Emma sadly looked around, she missed her friends in Texas.

Jane went to Boston Rehab Center and visited Angela. Her mother was in a wheelchair after her tragic car accident. That is why she was back. She was replacing Cavanaugh after he died in a car crash. She invited Angela to move in once she got her grounding together. Angela agreed and smiled at seeing her daughter and granddaughter for the first time in years.

A week later Jane drove to the address that held so many memories. She slowly walked by the bullpen and noticed Frost there. He was much older now but still the same old self. The pair hugged and Jane smiled.

"Where's Det. Doolittle?"

"He retired to the Caribbean."

"What? Thought he was going to be lieutenant after…" Jane couldn't bring herself to say her departed boss's name.

"Me too but he said he didn't want to end his career behind a desk job."

Jane nodded and they reminisced. Frost told her about how he got promoted to Sargent and Frankie was now a detective. She smiled glad for her Boston family but something didn't feel quite right. Something or someone was missing. She went to her new office and ran her hand around the etching on the glass door. It read:

Lt. Jane Rizzoli. Boston Homicide

Jane's return was welcomed by all. She now understood why Cavanaugh always yelled at her, the stress of this job made her moody but she wouldn't change it for the world. She was glad to be home and the rest of the team was as well…

All except Maura Isles. After their falling out Maura despised Jane and became colder than she had in her life. She barely talked to the team anymore and would repress her loneliness by the bottle. Jane made the team her family and after Jane left, she lost everyone. The team wants nothing to do with her now and she blamed Jane for that. Her parents had died in the past few years and she had no one except her sister. Even her team feared her as her coldness and violent snaps had them scared.

She looked at her computer screen and read the email over and over.

From: Criminalist Chang

Subject: New Boss

Did you hear we have a new Lt.?

…

From: Dr. Isles

RE: New Boss

They found a replacement already?

…

From Criminalist Chang

RE:RE: New Boss

Yeah. I mean it has been a year since the accident.

…..

From: Dr. Isles

RE:RE: New Boss

May I ask who it is?

…..

From: Criminalist Chang

RE:RE: New Boss

Jane Rizzoli

Maura took her fist and slammed it against the table. The last thing she wanted was to see Jane again. Thankfully lieutenant was a desk job so she never had to. She sat in the morgue and drank a shot of brandy.

Weeks have passed since Jane returned and the pair remained separated from each other. Neither knew of the other's existence. That or they chose to ignore it but either way it was painful. One day Emma had come by to talk to her mother. She waited in the café and eavesdropped on a conversation between Frost and a beat cop.

"So the detective's back?"

"Yeah. Wonder how the doc feels."

"I don't think that she knows. It's better that way."

"Do you think they would ever date again? I mean they were so much in love but…"

"Yeah they were the best thing BPD had."

"This is probably for the best."

Jane had never mentioned a doctor before and she decided to investigate. Later that night she asked Angela about it.

"Yes. Jane used to date a woman named Maura Isles. They were inseparable and solved crimes together. They brought down the most violent criminals Boston had seen."

"Why did they break up?"

"Perhaps it is best that you don't know."

Emma nodded and decided to ask her mom later that night.

"It was a long time ago. What about it?"

"You loved her and you don't just give that up."

"Emma drop it."

"But-"

"Stop. I loved her but not anymore." Jane said.

Emma saw something in her mother's eyes. She knew she was lying but decided to let it go for now.

The next few days Emma decided to research this Dr. Isles. She found out so much about her. The doctor was a genius and that she was one of the best crime fighters Boston had ever seen. She also found the marriage and sadly divorce papers between her and Jane. She saw how sad her mother was when she mentioned this woman. She came up with an elaborate scheme to remedy that.

A week after the research into Dr. Isles' life she worked up the courage to walk to the office. She softly knocked on the door. A woman answered the door. She was somewhat tall with greying blonde hair. Her dress was one of high class and her heels were fashionable but simple. Her hazel eyes were cold and her slightly wrinkled hands were in fists.

"What the fuck do you want?" She barked.

"Dr. Isles, my name is Emma Jones and I wish to shadow you."

"Beat it punk!" Maura said and slammed the door in Emma's face.

Emma was discouraged but remembered Dr. Isles' nickname, "Queen of the Dead." She knew the doctor's heart had died and was heavily guarded. She knocked again and slowly opened the door.

"I told you to get lost!" Maura said and shoved her out into the hall.

Maura went to shut the door when Emma commented on her outfit. Maura tilted her head and Emma knew she had gotten somewhere. Her mother always made suspects feel good so she had to do the same to the doctor. Maura let her in and the pair talked. Maura agreed to teach her once a week from one to three. Emma smiled as phase one of her plan had worked.

The sessions were hard as Emma had no interest in science but did have some qualities of the doctor. Her love of fashion and "random fact spewing" as her mother would call it. The doctor had warmed up to her and felt useful for the first time in a while. Emma was glad the sessions were after lunch so her mother wouldn't figure it out. One day she asked the doctor about relationships making it appears as though she wanted to have one.

"Did you ever love someone doctor?"

"I did once."

"Was he nice? Did?"

"She was but it ended badly."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What would you do if you saw her again?"

"I'd kill her. I hate her for she destroyed what was left of my heart."

"What was her name?"

"It doesn't matter. I never want to see her again and don't ever ask again."

"Sorry."

Three had come and as Emma was leaving she noticed the doctor cringing. They truly were miserable without the other.

"Ma do you think you will ever date again?"

"Please tell me we don't have to have the talk."

"What. No. I'm just wondering."

"I am a career driven woman. There is no room for love in my life. Why?"

"You have just been sad since dad left."

"Emma drop it before I ground you."

"Ma. I just want you to be happy. There is a new app that you can use."

"I'll consider it."

Emma smiled. Success. Now she just had to get the doctor to do it. Maura was much harder to convince and took some prodding but agreed. Emma set up their profiles so they would get matched together. It worked as they talked to each other without knowing it and they both seemed happy.

"She wants to meet me." Jane told Angela and Emma about a month later.

"Then go. What have you got to lose?"

"A lot."

"Jane you need to be happy again." Angela said not knowing Emma's plan.

"I am happy."

"Just try ma. And if it ends badly then no more dates."

"Fine. I'll go."

Emma dropped Jane off at a fancy French restaurant and walked her to the table Maura was sitting at. Standing back from them she said, "Ma meet your date." The pair made eye contact and all hell broke loose.

"What the hell?"

"You!"

"Have fun ma." Emma said and ran for it.

Jane turned back to Emma's direction but she was already gone. She'd spank her tomorrow but right now she had a bigger hill to climb. She slowly swallowed and went to the table. Maura avoided looking at her.

"Can I sit?" Jane asked.

Maura kicked a chair out for her but said nothing. Jane sat down cautiously. For a while neither spoke or looked at each other; simply waiting for the other to crack. Jane did first.

"I'm sorry my daughter lied to us. If I had known that this would happen I wouldn't have accepted the offer." Jane said feeling bad that Maura was used.

"It's fine. I like this restaurant."

Jane looked around at the décor and noticed Maura was holding an empty champagne glass but the champagne wasn't opened. This place was nice. Way nicer than anything she could afford in her entire careers salary.

"I'll just talk then leave."

"Eat. I know you are too poor to afford this any other time." Maura said coldly but Jane didn't miss the venom and coldness in her voice.

"Maura I'm sorry for everything."

"You know what happened after the divorce? I was alone. After you left the team wouldn't talk to me, your mother moved out. I was so alone but lied and told them that I cheated on you."

"You protected me? Why?"

"I loved you Jane and didn't want you ruined. They left me alone."

"Maura…"

"No. I'm talking now. The team was my family and after you left I lost them. I felt useless and depressed. I tried to end it so many times."

Maura showed Jane her scared arms. The scars on her wrists were the deepest.

"When that didn't work I went to drinking. I tried to numb the pain with anything but I was reminded of you by their actions so I shut everyone out. I told myself that I would never see you again."

"Maura, I'm sorry that I-"

"Why? What did he have that I didn't? Why did you choose him? I gave you my heart, what more did you need?"

"It was just-"

"Just what? That you and I couldn't have kids. Well you got your wish so why don't you go spend time with your baby daddy?"

"Maura. I don't love him. I love you-"

Maura threw the glass at Jane's head. Thankfully it missed but she then grabbed Jane's shirt.

"So that's it. Now that you can't get anything from him you come crawling back to me. Well I don't have symphony. You chose the life of a slut and now you must live it."

"Please Maura. You don't understand."

"I refuse to be second to a whore who can't even keep the man she cheated with. Whatever happened to you Jane, you deserved it."

"He abused me." Jane whispered.

"What?"

"He…he abused us."

Maura blinked a few times to make sure she heard it right. She then realized what she said. Jane didn't deserve that. No one did. She grabbed Jane and dragged her out of the restaurant. They went back to Maura's and Maura held the broken Jane.

The pair talked for the longest time. Jane told Maura how her "boyfriend" was abusive. How he told her she was ugly, that no one would love her, that she was a bad mom. There was also the physical abuse. The shoves into walls, the kicks to the ribs and the bruises. So many bruises that Jane had stopped counting or caring how they got there. How she finally worked up the nerve to leave him.

Maura sat there and listened. She held Jane as she cried on her shoulder. Yes she suffered but not nearly as bad as Jane. She almost felt bad for Jane. Almost.

"Jane. I know you want to have us back but you…I can't forget the pain that easily."

"I know. This is all my fault. I put my physical desires before my wife and ruined her life. Can we maybe start slow?"

"Jane it's not that easy. I want us back but also can't feel that pain again."

Jane cautiously hugged Maura. Maura patted one of Jane's hands.

"I want what we had but it can't be. You took what is rest of my heart."

"What if we start over as friends? I work the office now and you can come see me when you want…or never if you want that."

"That would be nice. I'll try."

"I'll try too. That would be nice."

"We can be friends but know this Jane Rizzoli."

Maura separated from Jane and looked at her. She placed her arms across herself in a defensive motion.

"You will never have me again, you will never be my lover, my wife. You will never have my heart as yours. You crushed it and it is now as dead as the bodies I cut open. "

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Never try to love me as more than a friend or I will never see you again. I'll run away like you did. Leave for 15 years and make you feel this pain, I won't ever come back if you try."

"I understand. LLBFF?"

"Friend. We will never be LLBFF's again."

Jane nodded and slowly went to the door. As she closed the door and stood on the porch she heard something.

"I hate you Jane Rizzoli." Maura whispered to herself.

I hate me too Maura. But I love you. I always have. I hope you see that one day. Jane thought before she left.

FIN