Love Like a Puppy
During times like this, she didn't know whether she loved it or not.
Mikan looked down at her book on her desk, going back and forth from her notebook and then back to her book, but she could remember none of what she saw. Hell, her brain couldn't even comprehend what she had written down or what she was reading. If anything, Mikan felt like pulling her hair out. Two hours on the same page on each book and nothing. Her brain didn't want to comprehend what she was looking at. It was busy imagining what was going on down in the living room instead.
Another loud groan traveled to her room along with various laughs, knowing all to well that Koko was losing horribly in whatever game they decided to play today.
Every week it was the same: Tuesdays and Friday, sometimes Saturdays, Youichi would invite his friends over so they can play whichever game he had or the other guys would bring. It wasn't that the noise distracted Mikan She can easily block out any unwanted noise while she studied. There were various times that she missed her mom calling her for dinner, resulting in a loud bang on her door, demanding that she get down to eat from Youichi. But when his friends were at the house, it was hard for her to concentrate.
"How the hell do you keep winning, Natsume?! I swear you are cheating somehow," Koko's frustrated voice said.
"Aim better and you'll win," Natsume responded.
His voice was just haunting. A shiver traveled through Mikan as she heard his low and deep voice. It was because of him. She couldn't concentrate because of his voice that she can easily distinguish. The image of him playing downstairs in the living room of her own home distracted her enough, but his voice basically took her to another level. She felt like walking down their and just watch them play, but that would just be odd.
Imagine your best friend's younger sister suddenly walking down just to watch them play. Knowing Youichi, he'd either ignore her or he'd be on to her. He'd suddenly wonder why his younger sister would want to watch them play when around this time she always takes advantage to study. She knew he was trying to be considerate of her when he always suggest them stay downstairs whenever they wanted to play something. But for her to just suddenly want to watch them play? That would be too suspicious.
Besides, it wasn't like Natsume will suddenly notice her. Just the thought of that made her push her books away from her. During their elementary and middle school days, she would see him, Koko, Ruka, and Tsubasa often in the house. They would either play on Youichi's gaming consoles, one of many that he had, or just stay there for a while to grab something to eat before heading out; those days Mikan felt more like sulking than studying. Once they started high school, Youichi told their parents that Natsume and Ruka ended up getting into an academy instead of a public high school when he was asked during dinner if they were all going to the same school. Though she knew she didn't show it, the news crushed her. She hoped to see Natsume once she entered high school.
So now, instead of seeing him in school, her only chance was to see him when he visited Youichi.
A bitter laugh escaped her mouth as she mentally scolded herself for being such a coward. How hard is it to confess to the guy. When they had interacted, Natsume had been nothing but nice to her. He was the only guy to grab her attention. Just thinking about it made Mikan blush like crazy. Natsume was her type.
She gave up trying to study, just like every other time. He was distracting enough to make to stop studying. Closing her book and notebook, she stood up from her chair and turned off the lamp on her study desk. It was about to be nine and she had yet eaten anything.
Her honey eyes looked over at the closed door of her door. Would she once again go another night without something to eat just because her crush was in the room that she had to pass through just to get to the kitchen, or would she suck it up and just eat something.
Shaking her head, she walked towards the door and opened it; Natsume's voice now easily making it to her ears and enough to make her stop.
"Come on, Mikan! You can't just stay up here all night. Besides, you're hungry! He shouldn't be enough to stop making you eat," Mikan muttered to herself as she took slow steps out of her room and towards the stairs.
With each slow step, Mikan could hear her heart start pounding louder and louder. Any more louder and her heart might actually pound right out of her chest. Diagnosis: lovestruck, nervousness, and plain stupid for feeling like that when she should be actually feel calm instead.
At the very top of the stairs, she felt like not eating. That should be enough to go back and save the embarrassment of possibly doing something stupid while she went to the kitchen. But her body wasn't listening to her brain. It was as if her legs had a mind of their own and they took charge of going down the stairs.
"He's going to the right, Tsubasa!"
"Your right or mine?"
"Mine! Argh fuck!"
Mikan wanted to laugh along with Ruka the moment she heard Koko complain once again, assuming that Natsume had gotten the better of them once again.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she forced her head to turn towards the TV. Sitting in the exact she normally does was Natsume smirking as Koko complained that he was definitely cheating, that there was no way he would've gotten him. His jet black hair messily combed on his head in a very attractive way. The red in his eyes glowing from the light of the TV and she could have sworn she saw his muscle flex underneath his white shirt as he relaxed on the couch right after he set down his controller.
She caught Youichi's eyes, for a split second before he looked back towards his friends. All she has to do is just walk across the room to the kitchen, grab something to eat, and then go back to her room. Simple. It should be extremely simple.
"Hey, Mikan! Can you grab me a bag of chips when you come back out?"
Koko's sudden request was surprised her. She didn't want to be noticed but at the same time she was glad he said something because Natsume's eyes landed on her. If she passes out right in the middle of the living room, she's is going to blame Koko and his big mouth. Whether it would be considered a good blame or a bad one, she wouldn't know.
A hand smack Koko's head. "If you want something, go get it yourself. Mikan isn't your maid here," Youichi said, looking at him with an annoyed look.
"N-No! It's fine! I'll get you something," Mikan blurted out, surprising herself and wondering where why her body is deciding to not listen to her brain that kept telling her to keep walking to the kitchen instead of standing in the middle of the living room like an idiot. "Did you all want anything as well?" If her brain had hands, she was pretty sure it would be smacking her.
She heard Youichi sigh. Looking at him, she saw his head shake. "I swear, you are such a push over, Mikan," he said, rolling his eyes at her and receiving a glare from her in return.
"She's not a push over, she's just a very nice," she heard Tsubasa say. She looked at him as he gave her a wink, one that would easily win any girl over. "Since your offering, I'd just want a bottle of water. You want anything, Natsume?"
If they didn't hear her heart pounding, they all probably have a hearing problem. The mention of his name was enough to make her feel so shy. Especially with him right in front of her. She can't blush in front of them. Though with the only light illuminating the living room was the TV, she doubt they'd be able to see it if she did.
He looked from Tsubasa back to Mikan, shaking his head. "No, I'm fine, thanks."
If anyone would pour water all over her, she'd bet she'd melt. After always hearing his voice, she would think that he wouldn't have this effect on her.
"I don't want anything either, Mikan," said Ruka, bursting through her train of thought.
"Just in case bring a bowl too so we can share the chips!"
"I swear… I told you, my sister isn't a maid," Youichi suddenly said, standing up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen himself. She could have sworn he purposely stepped on Koko's hand as he moved passed him on the floor.
She quickly followed Youichi, walking into the now lit room. She heard him grumble about how lazy his friends were while still grabbing at least two bags of chips. Mikan couldn't help but laugh. The sound of Koko starting a conversation about a girl in his class was suddenly heard once they entered the kitchen.
"You know, it sounded like you guys are having fun down here," Mikan said to him as she walked towards the stove to grab a little bit of left over spaghetti from earlier.
"Watching Koko lose? It's actually very entertaining," he responded, finding the bottles of water and grabbing a few.
"Do you guys win on purpose to irk him?"
"We don't have to do that. He just sucks in general."
Mikan envied the friendship Youichi had with them. She has her own friends, but it's not like they goof around and have a bit of fun. They mainly end up talking about the hot guy next door, plans that they suddenly have over the summer, or if today was a good day to visit that cute little cafe that just opened up last week.
Mikan easily participated, but it's not like she did willingly. The only hot guy Mikan knew was Natsume; her parents are both working over the summer and she easily knew Youichi already had his own plans for the summer so that left her with her computer games and k-dramas that she started to get into; and she barely had any money herself to buy anything from that cafe (that little "shortcut" home to pass the cafe almost caused her a heart attack over the prices.)
She loved her friends, but she never considered them close enough for her to invite over like Youichi.
"-own."
She blinked and turned towards Youichi, "What?"
"I said 'Any longer, and you're going to burn the house down.'"
"Oh, crap!" Quickly turning off the stove, she removed the pan from the burner. Youichi was by her side, with a plate and fork ready for her. Grateful, she took it and poured the hot spaghetti onto the plate. "Thanks. I doubt mom and dad would be happy coming home to us outside and our house in nothing but ashes."
Youichi simply nodded, turning back to the large bowl that he left on the table already filled with the chips and a few bottles of water. "I can bet they'll find a way to blame me because I'm suppose to be in charge but I'll make sure to give them clear details on how that was your fault instead. Turn off the light once your done," he said, grabbing the bowl and walking out of the kitchen. Koko's happy voice filled the both rooms, not knowing that Youichi took two bags of chips that he didn't like.
It was Saturday and Mikan had made up her mind. She wanted to tell Natsume how she felt. It was frustrating how nervous she felt, but what was more frustrating is that Natsume still hadn't gone to visit.
Sitting on her bed, she turned her head to her night stand to look at her digital clock. Normally, he always visits around one but it was about to be three. Either he was late or they made other plans. That should be another thing to add to her list of frustrating things: the fact like she's acting as if he goes to visit her instead of hanging out with Youichi.
Her head hit her pillow as she thought back to when he first made her heart beat like crazy.
It wasn't anything elaborate. No one would think it was special enough to make her like him even more, but it was enough. She was in elementary school and every girl dreamed of having a prince charming of their own. To Mikan, Natsume met her qualifications. Extremely kind to her, very calm whenever there was anything stressful in his life, smart, and… well there was just a lot.
But he was already late.
Looking up at her ceiling, she can imagine how he would react. This would be out of the blue so of course he'd be surprised. She knew there was a chance that one day he would look at her as Mikan and not as Youichi's little sister. Her friends even said that even if the guy you confess to doesn't like you, there's a large chance that he won't stop thinking about you afterward.
As she saw a minute go by, she couldn't help but feel more anxious. What if he doesn't like her? Well, that was impossible, he does like her, but like her like she likes him. What if it becomes awkward after she confesses? What if
Sitting back up on her bed, she looked at herself on the mirror that hung right beside her closet. She didn't dress as if she was desperate. If anything, she decided to apply just a little bit more makeup around her eyes. A bit of light eye shadow, a bit of eyeliner, and the mascara made her eyelashes pop out a bit more than usual. It wasn't as much as what she would see her seniors wear or the stars on TV, but she thought this suited her very well.
Her outfit wasn't grand either. Since she assumed that he was going to go visit, she just wore her favorite loose but still a bit short grey shirt with a black tanktop underneath with a pair of blue jean shorts. Nothing fancy.
It also didn't hurt to be a little more prepared. Gathering her courage, she got up from her bed and walked over towards Youichi's room.
She knocked on his door and immediately heard his voice form inside his room, telling her to come in. Mikan felt hesitant. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to ask him about Natsume. Opening the door, she spotted her brother reading a comic book on his bed. Though it didn't seem like he was shawing much interest in the comic, Mikan knew that he was basically committed to the series.
He slightly looked up at her then back down at the book, turning a page. "Yeah?"
"Ah, um… well, how are you?"
She wanted to kick herself for feeling so nervous.
"Fine," he curtly answered, not taking his eyes off the book.
"Ah yeah. I'm glad!" Mikan felt her legs start to buckle as he walked over to his bed. For goodness sake, it wasn't as if she was going to ask Natsume directly. Why did she feel so nervous now?
Youichi didn't make a sound. Instead of focusing on Mikan, he kept his eyes on his comic. If she had to tell him something, she'd do it. He felt his bed dip as she took her place on the edge of his bed.
"Um… I was wondering," she started, feeling her face heat up suddenly.
"Hmm..." he hummed out, signaling that he was listening. Something Mikan already knew.
"What… what kind of girl is Natsume's type…?
Youichi's lack of noise concerned Mikan. Instead of even giving her a shrug, he barely moved. His eyes stayed on the comic for a while before he looked up with an eyebrow raised.
"What?"
She couldn't ask again. She knew her face was as red as she felt it was. This was her first time she had ever given him or anyone any clue that she had a crush, and on his best friend nonetheless. If anything, he looked confused as if he misheard her.
Two minutes of complete silence and Mikan fidgeting and blushing before she her him sigh.
"Why?"
The question made her look up at him. Why? He should know why. Why else would she even ask that question.
"Eh, why? Well, you should know why," Mikan replied, still feeling very embarrassed.
"No I don't. All you asked is what kind of girl is Natsume's type. I don't know why you are asking that."
The jerk! He was making her say her reason. But she didn't want to tell him. She wanted Natsume to be the first person to hear her confession, not her brother. No doubt he knew the exact reason but he wanted to hear it himself.
"Well?" Mikan knew he wasn't going to let it go. She wasn't going get anywhere unless she gave him her answer or she turned around and left, which she doubted that Youichi would let this go.
"I… You know why! Why are you making me say it? It's embarrassing as it is..." Mikan said, mumbling the last sentence as she wished her blush would just go away.
Youichi looked at her for a bit, his brows furrowed slightly on his forehead. He let out a sigh and gave her a smile, "Okay, then let's meet up with Natsume so you can ask him yourself." He didn't hesitate to take out his phone and type out a message.
"What?!"
"Done. Go and get ready so we can leave and get this over with."
Mikan couldn't believe it. But maybe she should take this. Youichi just sent him a message to get together so this could be her chance. She didn't think that he would easily agree to it.
"Okay!" Mikan replied, the blush still evident on her cheeks as she quickly stood up and walked towards back out towards the door.
"Just because I'm giving you the chance, doesn't mean I approve."
Mikan looked back at him, finding him looking at her with his phone still in his hand. She couldn't blame him for being protective over her, and I guess the thought of his younger sister having a crush on his best friend is pretty odd.
The stars looked beautiful. Each one shining so bright in it own way while the moon shone brighter. The light illuminated the playground that Mikan was currently in. Her feet lightly pushing herself back and forth on the swing as she stared up at the clear night sky.
Various thoughts ran through her mind: if she should go home right now or not; should she take a shower the moment she got home; if Youichi knew why she was taking so long to get home.
She felt her eyes starting to sting as the reason as to why she was taking long took over her mind.
The memory of Youichi taking her to a yogurt place replayed in her head once again. They immediately spotted Tsubasa. Seeing him there actually surprised her.
"It's over just a few blocks. The frozen yogurt place just opened a few weeks ago and it's not bad," Tsubasa suddenly said, pulling her from her momentary shock. It confused Mikan. What was he talking about? Did she and Youichi meet him by coincidence? Where is Natsume?
"That sounds good. Why don't we grab some yogurt then?" Youichi responded.
Next thing she knows, she's sitting down in a booth eating her yogurt while Tsubasa and Youichi talked. She'd jump in from time to time, actually having a bit of fun. Almost forgetting the reason as to why she was out in the first place.
"Oh, so that's her."
The memory of seeing Natsume walk in with a very beautiful girl, almost brought more tears to her eyes.
He had easily spotted them, and he introduce them to his girlfriend, Luna. The name even fit her. Her voice was meek as she responded to Luna while she greeted them all. Tsubasa, being the nice guy that he is, easily greeted her nicely while Youichi gave her a curt greeting. Instead of grabbing their own table to sit at, Tsubasa invited both of them to sit with them instead, which they didn't reject the offer.
"Are you feeling okay, Mikan?" Mikan didn't notice how quiet she had gotten nor the fact that she had stopped eating her frozen yogurt until Tsubasa said something. It has taken everything in her power to not looking at neither Luna nor Natsume. It was difficult. It seemed like her body's automatic response was to withdraw. She could feel Youichi's eyes staring at her, even Natsume's.
It hurt.
"Yeah. I just suddenly remembered that I have to be at the cafe. I'm pretty sure my friends will be mad at me for not waiting to eat something with them."
Since then, she has been on the swing in the old playground. The thought of going home never crossed her mind. If anything, she wanted to camp out there. She knew it was already past ten at night, but a little lie of being with her friends couldn't hurt, right? Maybe if she messaged her friends, they would back her up and ask later.
But she didn't move. Her eyes stung, but there were no tears falling. Her arms barely wanted to move to grab her phone that she had silenced and dropped somewhere in the sandbox.
It's probably a good idea to stay out. Before leaving, she heard Natsume suggest that he'd take Luna to the house so she could meet the rest of the guys. She didn't want to see them. She gave herself one last push before getting up from the swing.
The next chapter will be up quick! Thanks for reading!