Hi! I'm back! I know, I haven't been on for a while, and I haven't written anything for a while either. (Obviously) I REALLY am sorry. Anyway this is my first song fic EVER. (I know, exciting, right?) I made the title of this piece different than the actual song, because I didn't feel like the name went.

I hope you enjoy it!

The song is Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

Also I do not own Kaidan, Shepard, or Vanilla Twilight.

(I do own my imagination)


"The stars lean down to kiss you and I lie awake and miss you. Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere."

Kaidan looked up at the warm yellow sun burning bright as he felt every piece of his heart break piece by piece.

"'Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly, but I'll miss yours arms around me. I'd send a postcard to you, dear, 'cause I wish you were here."

It was bad enough that he had to experience excruciating heartbreak once...but now a second time. He didn't know how he was going to make it through... if he was going to make it through...

"I'll watch the night turn light blue. But it's not the same without you, because it takes two to whisper quietly."

It was a funny thing, really. Just a few days ago Kaidan could kiss and hug Shepard, but now, as much as wanted, he couldn't.

"The silence isn't so bad, 'Till I look at my hands, 'Cause the spaces are right where yours fit perfectly."

Kaidan imagined everything about Shepard. Her warm signature "Commander Shepard" smile, the scar running down her cheek that he adored, the scent of strawberries she had, or those vibrant green eyes he loved looking into, were just a few of the many things that Kaidan couldn't get enough of, and a few of the many things he needed.

"I'll find repose in new ways, though I haven't slept in two days, 'cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone."

He kept on thinking that he would be better off dead. He could just find a sharp stick or a heavy rock, and he would be gone, and he wouldn't feel anything anymore.

"But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night. Waist deep in though because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone.

I don't feel so alone.

I don't feel so alone."

That was the thing. The more he thought about her, the less he felt alone, yet the more he yearned for her. He wasn't just stuck between a rock and a hard place, he was stuck between a knife and a sword.

"As many times as I blink, I'll think of you tonight.

I'll think of you tonight."

Kaidan lost track of time. When he first sat down under this green Weeping Willow, it was around mid-day, but now he could see the beautiful blend of pink and orange across the horizon, yet he couldn't enjoy it.

"When violet eyes get brighter, and heavy wings grow lighter, I'll taste the sky and feel alive again."

"Will I ever feel alive again?" Kaidan asked himself as he sighed deeply.

"And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you."

"How can I ever forget her?" Kaidan said as his warm brown eyes burned, threatened to flood with tears.

"Oh if my voice could reach back through the past I'd whisper in your ear, oh darling I wish you were here."

First it was just a calm, clear tear that trickled down his stubbly cheek, but now it was a whole waterfall of tears pouring down his warm sun-kissed skin.

"I love you Natalia Shepard...forever and always," Kaidan whispered looking up at the starry sky above him. He then violently shut his eyes feeling the burn from the tears.


Later that night, Kaidan laid himself on the muddy ground, and drifted into a deep slumber hoping he would never wake up...


I hoped you enjoyed it!

I encourage you (Please don't feel pressured) to review, it really helps me.

And once again, (If you don't feel like scrolling up) the name of the song is Vanilla Twilight by Owl City.

Thank You!

-Pink