Disclaimer: Don't own Rookie Blue and don't own I'm Gonna Love You Through It by Martina McBride.
A.N. I normally don't like writing or reading these types of fictions but this song just called out to me and I decided to try it. I had it on the back burner for a while and then after the events of this weekend in my personal life, I came back and read this - when I cried the whole way through it, I decided to post it.
This one is dedicated to my cousin; taken from us so quickly. May your entire family (your wife, your children, and your grandchildren) find the strength that they need to continue to move on.
She had been feeling sick for a few weeks before Sam was finally able to convince her to go to the doctor. When the doctor heard the details, he ordered tests and told her results might take a few days and he would call her as soon as the results were in.
She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don't discriminate or care if you're just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you're afraid and I am, too
But you'll never be alone, I promise you"
Three days later they had a scheduled off day. Sam had been able to roll over some of his sick days to her so that they could still have the day off that they so desperately needed. Her father told them that they needed the day to themselves and watched their youngest son even though they were home and told them that he would pick up the older two from school as he always did.
An hour before her father was due to drop off the children, the phone rang. Andy answered it and froze as she heard her doctor's voice. She listened for a minute and then dropped the phone as she burst into tears.
Sam swallowed a few times as he watched his wife's frame shake as she cried. He took a step towards her and pulled her close. "Sh, Andy."
"Don't say it's okay Sam. I'm thirty-eight. We have three beautiful children. I want to watch them grow up." She began to sob hysterically again.
Sam rocked her gently. Eventually the sobs went silent. "I know that you're afraid Sweetheart. I am too, but you'll never be alone, I promise you." He kissed her lips gently.
She returned his kiss hungrily. When she needed air, he spoke again:
When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on
When you need to cry,
I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can't take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.
"Really?" she whispered.
"You better believe it. If you don't want to tell the kids you should go upstairs to wash your face and reapply your makeup."
Andy gave him a gentle kiss. "Thanks Sam. And if I'm not downstairs, ask my Dad to wait. I need to tell him myself."
She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Sam called the doctor and set up all the appointments. The surgery date was set and only after Andy went under the anesthesia did he let some tears fall. He promised himself that he wouldn't cry in front of her. She needed him to be strong, to be her rock, and he loved her so much that he would do anything for her.
When the doctor came out of surgery he smiled at Sam. "We caught it just in time." He looked at Sam.
"But?" Sam had this feeling in his gut.
"We had to take a little more than we originally planned."
Sam nodded. As long as Andy would be okay. "When can I see her? When can my kids see her?" (He knew she would want to see their children and that they would give her more comfort than any of her friends just by being with her.)
"You can go back to see her now. After she wakes up, we will move her out of the ICU and then you can bring your kids."
Andy woke soon after Sam came into the room. She demanded to see her children. The doctor came in and had a transport team move her to a private room as Sam called Tommy.
Less than five minutes after she was moved into the room, the door was pushed open and two small bodies ran over to the bed crying "Mommy".
Sam lifted their son and daughter next to Andy. Once they were settled, he took the baby from Tommy. The baby immediately began crying.
Sam smiled and walked over to Andy. "Seems this little man wants his Mommy too." He set the baby on her legs.
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"
She was released a few days later, after all of the tests were done and she was declared to be on the mend.
The first day home, Sam walked into the bedroom from putting the baby down for his nap to find Andy staring at herself in the mirror. When she saw him, she smiled.
Sam sighed. This fake smile that she had been showing was starting to scare him. "Andy, talk to me. What's going on?"
"I want to feel like a woman again Sam. I hate this. I can't wear any of my old clothes. All I can wear is my baggy shirts or yours."
She stared at him for a long minute and then the tears began falling. "I don't think I can do this anymore.
Sam stood and pulled her into his arms. "Remember my promise?" he whispered.
"What promise?"
"You're never alone:
When you're weak, I'll be strong
When you let go, I'll hold on
When you need to cry,
I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can't take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.
And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I'm gonna love you through it.
I'm gonna love you through it.
I promise Andy, my love for you will get us through it."
"Really?" she whispered.
"Really, really. I love you too much for it not to be true."
A.N. Reviews make my day (and honestly provide a welcome distraction) so let me know what you think.