Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all the Harry Potter characters, etc., etc.
*~*~*~*
"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough." --- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'
~*~*~*
"Bellatrix," the Dark Lord hissed. "I think it's time to create some chaos. Something to distract those muggle-lovers."
"Yes, my Lord," Bellatrix replied. "What do you want me to do?"
"There's a certain . . . patient . . . currently residing at St. Mungo's," Voldemort said. "You know who. I need you to set him loose."
Bellatrix's eyes gleamed and she cackled evilly, and Voldemort joined in.
~*~*~*
Harry Potter was awake, but he kept his eyes shut for a few more minutes. Today he was finally leaving the Dursleys to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys. His things were already packed, and Ron would be arriving on the Knight Bus in just an hour.
Harry opened his eyes to a bright and colorful room. He blinked and rubbed his eyes just to be sure he wasn't imagining things. Bright and colorful? That wasn't normal for the small, dingy room the Dursleys thrust him into.
"Oh, no," Harry groaned as he looked around.
All of his belongings, which had been so neatly packed the night before, were now strewn about the room. And everything in the room was covered with enormous loopy signatures in multicolored, sparkling ink. Everything was signed with a name Harry recognized:
Gilderoy Lockhart
Harry did not have time to deal with this. He threw his clothes, spellbooks and other belongings into his trunk. He would deal with those once he got to the Weasleys. But he should probably make an effort to clean Lockhart's graffiti from the walls before he left. Harry cursed to himself as he saw the signature on his prized possession: his Firebolt. It was a good thing Hermione had given him that broomstick-servicing kit for his thirteenth birthday.
Harry finished cleaning the ink off the walls and went downstairs. Thankfully, Lockhart didn't seem to have signed anything else in the house. Harry went outside to wait for Ron.
The Knight Bus pulled to a stop in front of the house with a loud bang. Ron got off the bus and called back for the driver to wait for them to grab Harry's things.
Harry saw that Ron's shirt bore the signature of Gilderoy Lockhart down the left arm.
"Hey, Harry," Ron said. "Can you believe this? I always said that git'd sign anything if it stood still long enough. But, you know, I kind of thought I was joking."
Harry laughed. Having Ron to share it with made the whole thing seem a lot funnier than it had an hour ago.
"Here," Ron said, thrusting a paper into Harry's hand. "It's The Daily Prophet. It's pretty funny, so I thought you might like to read it."
*~*~*~*
"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough." --- Ron Weasley, 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'
~*~*~*
"Bellatrix," the Dark Lord hissed. "I think it's time to create some chaos. Something to distract those muggle-lovers."
"Yes, my Lord," Bellatrix replied. "What do you want me to do?"
"There's a certain . . . patient . . . currently residing at St. Mungo's," Voldemort said. "You know who. I need you to set him loose."
Bellatrix's eyes gleamed and she cackled evilly, and Voldemort joined in.
~*~*~*
Harry Potter was awake, but he kept his eyes shut for a few more minutes. Today he was finally leaving the Dursleys to spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys. His things were already packed, and Ron would be arriving on the Knight Bus in just an hour.
Harry opened his eyes to a bright and colorful room. He blinked and rubbed his eyes just to be sure he wasn't imagining things. Bright and colorful? That wasn't normal for the small, dingy room the Dursleys thrust him into.
"Oh, no," Harry groaned as he looked around.
All of his belongings, which had been so neatly packed the night before, were now strewn about the room. And everything in the room was covered with enormous loopy signatures in multicolored, sparkling ink. Everything was signed with a name Harry recognized:
Gilderoy Lockhart
Harry did not have time to deal with this. He threw his clothes, spellbooks and other belongings into his trunk. He would deal with those once he got to the Weasleys. But he should probably make an effort to clean Lockhart's graffiti from the walls before he left. Harry cursed to himself as he saw the signature on his prized possession: his Firebolt. It was a good thing Hermione had given him that broomstick-servicing kit for his thirteenth birthday.
Harry finished cleaning the ink off the walls and went downstairs. Thankfully, Lockhart didn't seem to have signed anything else in the house. Harry went outside to wait for Ron.
The Knight Bus pulled to a stop in front of the house with a loud bang. Ron got off the bus and called back for the driver to wait for them to grab Harry's things.
Harry saw that Ron's shirt bore the signature of Gilderoy Lockhart down the left arm.
"Hey, Harry," Ron said. "Can you believe this? I always said that git'd sign anything if it stood still long enough. But, you know, I kind of thought I was joking."
Harry laughed. Having Ron to share it with made the whole thing seem a lot funnier than it had an hour ago.
"Here," Ron said, thrusting a paper into Harry's hand. "It's The Daily Prophet. It's pretty funny, so I thought you might like to read it."