Title: "Almost"
Season: 8
Spoilers: Up through Living Doll
Summary: Thank goodness 'almost' only counts in horseshoes. (GSR)
Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story belong to Alliance Atlantis, CBS, Anthony Zuicker and other entities. No infringement is intended in any way, and this story is not for profit. (Not that I would refuse payment, mind you, seeing as I have a mortgage and kids in college. It's just that no one has ever offered.)
Author's Notes: I've never written a CSI story before, but I opened up my word processor fulliy intending to work on one of my Stargate fics that I have started, when Muse made me pause on the blank page. The next thing I knew this story appeared. It was written in one sitting, and unbetaed which I rarely do, so it is either inspired or poorly thought out. Either way it is a completed fic, something I haven't managed to accomplish in months, so it had to be posted.
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Grissom had come so close to losing her more times than he cared to think about.
He'd almost pushed her away because of his insecurities and inaction. He still marveled to this day that Sara had waited for him.
He'd almost lost her to that lunatic Adam Trent. He could still feel the fear he'd experienced watching her through the glass unable to do anything, waiting for the madman to slit her throat. He didn't even need to close his eyes to have the scene recreated in living color in his imagination. More recent events hadn't been able to totally override that nightmare.
Even after he'd committed to a relationship with her he'd almost blown it all to pieces.
Twice!
He'd left for the east coast and Williams College feeling drained and unable to function. Somewhere flying high up over the mid-west he'd started to feel like the vice around his chest was lifting and his head had started to clear, and he'd realized how quiet Sara had been before he'd left. It was only in hindsight after she'd not returned a single phone call that he'd understood what an idiot he'd been. He'd come back promising to do better. He'd failed miserably just months later when he'd try to help out Lady Heather. When he'd returned home that day, Sara had been sitting in the overstuffed chair, knees pulled up to her chest with her arms locked around them, looking pale and lost.
Suddenly he saw clearly just how his actions had affected her, and as realization dawned he felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. In front of him was a reflection of a nine-year-old girl whose family had just been ripped away. Security had been sadly lacking in Sara's life, and he hadn't exactly helped her in that area in the years they'd known each other either.
He'd vowed that day that he'd do everything in his power to rectify that. But fate and Natalie Davis had other plans.
It was the closest he'd come to date to losing her. He prayed he'd never come anywhere near that close again. And even though this time he'd been the least guilty of all the times she'd almost left him, he still would have blamed himself if they hadn't found her in time.
And they almost hadn't. Her broken ribs had punctured a lung and almost stopped her breathing. She been dehydrated and her kidneys had almost shut down. Her broken tibia had restricted circulation to her lower leg. The doctors had told him that it was a good thing she hadn't been under that car any longer as she had almost lost the leg from the knee down.
Thank goodness 'almost' only counted in horseshoes he thought quoting an old cliché.
Once they she came home from the hospital he walked the fine line between being overprotective and being there for her when she needed him. Weeks passed and the nightmares began to ease off. The cast finally came off her leg, and she went back to work. Things were getting back to normal, and he almost let himself fall into the trap of letting that be.
But he'd learned his lesson. Instead of fearing the changes needed to let their relationship grow he now embraced them. After talking to Sara he went to the sheriff and Ecklie and put his cards on the table. He bought a ring and after Sara said 'yes' (and they had celebrated for an entire weekend) he insisted on taking them house hunting.
"Something that's not your place or my place," he told her. "Something that can be ours."
Her smile had told him he was finally making good on that promise he'd made himself to give Sara the love and security she deserved.
Still the ultimate test was to come a month after they had married and moved into their new house. Sara came to him looking pale and nervous, tears threatening and told him she was pregnant. His heart literally stopped. All of his old fears and insecurities began to rear their ugly heads and he almost gave into them.
Almost. Instead he forced himself to imagine a little girl with curly brown hair and a gap between her teeth, and he found himself smiling. Seeing his smile caused Sara to expel the breath she had been holding and look at him.
"What are you thinking?" she asked hopefully.
"I'm thinking that in two years I went from a lonely bachelor to having a beautiful wife, a dog, a house, and now a baby," he replied shaking his head in amazement. "I'm thinking I'm scared to death, but in a good way."
"So you're ok with this?" she asked, starting to smile herself.
"If you're happy about it then I'm more than ok with it," he confirmed.
Sara rushed into his arms and he kissed her, picking her up and twirling her around, and he added to his previous vows. He was going to do everything in his power to be a good father.
No 'almost' about it.
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Fin