UNBOUND: THE BEGINNING OF THE TALE OF THE DRAGONBORN
She woke up in a bouncing cart with a pounding headache and her hands bound in front of her. She wiggled her wrists against the bonds uselessly, the rope used to bind her was too tightly bound to be unbound by a simple flick of her delicate wrists.
She looked around and saw three men in the wagon with her. She was shocked! How had she gotten here? Who were these men?
The one to her left was very handsome. He was a blond, male Nord. He wore blue armor. "You're finally awake," he said blandly. He said more stuff, but she stopped paying attention to him because really who wanted to hear the opening game dialogue again?
Le sigh.
There was another Nord in front of her. He was a brunette and less good looking. Probably because he was dark haired. Everyone knew that the really good looking kids were blonde.
Everyone.
She ignored him too because he was ranting about Stormcloaks and really who had time for that? Besides being ugly, he was dirty. Gross….
The man to her right was down right girl boner inducing hot! He was also a blonde Nord male man and he was older. He had piercing blue eyes and a gag. On his mouth. She was instantly curious about him! The guy on her left, Ravioli, said the gagged man's name was Ulfric Stormcloak. He seemed important and introspective and stuff. But mostly hot.
They arrived at a crappy town full of stupid people making pointless comments that she ignored. Seriously, no one cared what they said.
The wagons stopped and they were told to get out. She got out with the rest. There was no other option.
A Nord dressed in Imperial armor stood before her. She thought he was an Imperial at first because he wore Imperial armor, but his name tag indicated his name was Hadvar. "Who...Are...You?" he intoned mechanically. It was sort of creepy how he said that with his dead, soulless eyes, but otherwise he was really hot for a brown haired Imperial loving Nord. Maybe she would have to change her mind on hair color and hotness.
Oh, by the way, that rambling guy died when he got shot full of arrows when he tried to run away. Can't forget that part. It's sort of important, but not really.
Meanwhile, our heroine tried to tell her captives her name. She wanted to say, "My name is Rosaria Aurora Desiree Maria Elaina Corbeau," but for some reason the words stuck in her throat as if the name was too long for some reason. Instead she had to settle for, "Maria Elaina".
"Okay, Marilena," the man mumbled as he looked at his list.
"No, it's Maria Elaina," she argued. "Well, it's actually Rosaria Aurora Desiree Maria Elaina Corbeau, but I choked."
"Marilena," he muttered again as he looked at his list some more.
"Stop mangling my name!" she screeched as she threw back her long, blonde golden hair that floated down to the back of her knees in rippled waves like ripe wheat in the summer sun. She blinked her big, lovely very round blue eyes - blue like the color of the lake in the middle of the spring when things are coming to life for the first time and hope is growing in the hearts of men everywhere. She clenched her small, delicate pale hands in a small, delicate fist. She stopped her tiny, dainty foot on the ground in frustration. It wasn't very impressinve since she was a mere 5'2" and 90 lbs and the Nords were a lot taller than her. "Say it right!"
"I don't see any 'Marilena' on the list, ma'am," the man named Hadvar said to the woman next to him.
"I don't care, she goes to the chopping block with the rest," the woman huffed. Marilena hated her instantly and would hate all Imperials for all time because of this stupid, hateful nameless bitch. She planned on killing her the first chance she got if she managed to get out of this.
There was more talking as some guy named Tullius ranted at Ulfric. Ulfric looked like he wanted to say something like, "Suck my big Nord dick," but unfortunately he was still gagged and could only look at Marilena like, "Someone shoot me right now." She understood those feels totes.
Then a dragon showed up!
Holy crap!
It yelled in draconinc and spat fire! What will happen next?!
To be continued….
Another little parody fic with our favorite Dragonborn! This was inspired by a SKM prompt - So I love Mary Sue/Gary Stu parody stories. They're a wonderful guilty pleasure of mine.
So I'd like to make a request for one. I'd like over-the-top descriptions that compare eyes to gemstones and hair to silk and other such purple prosiness. I want a character with way too many talents to be even slightly realistic. I want an OOC romance and everyone falling all over themselves for this guy/gal.
Any race for the DB, any gender, any pairings... really I'm game for anything. Crack is a given but beyond that any potential A!As can give me pure crack, or maybe mix in some fluff, smut, whatever! I just want some terrible character silliness.
I hoped you enjoyed it!