Title Step Off
Author Diena Taylor
Notes Written for citizenjess, to counteract my rampant emo-ness. She also provided the title. :)
Summary Padme Amidala vs. Senator Chuchi: Ten Rounds. Stuck in the Senate Rotunda during the events of "Hostage Crisis", Padme considers her shoes, her husband, and little purple senators.
Padme Amidala considered Senator Chuchi from Pantora to be a little bit of a hussy. Being young and fiesty was her job, damn it, and how dare this little purple *girl* steal her thunder? Besides, Chuchi had once made a snide comment about Padme's shoes. Like her pointy-toed heels looked that much nicer than Padme's round-toe flats. What*ever*.
Padme couldn't think of anything more annoying than being stuck in the Senate rotunda with Chuchi, and yet, here she was, wondering if she could use Anakin's lightsaber to impale Chuchi without calling too much attention to herself. Or she could use one of the weapons Bail, for some reason, had on his person. She wasn't really picky, and thinking about death scenarios for the petite purple Senator kept her mind off the fact her plan of "Take your secret husband to work day" hadn't quite gone as well as she'd hoped. Beyond Anakin's clumsy come-on attempts in her office, now they were all being held hostage, and Anakin was going to be his usual stupid self and play hero without his weapon. And Padme knew he was a big enough idiot to actually think he'd be able to accomplish something. Plus she was pretty sure Bail knew Padme hadn't just "found" Anakin's lightsaber as she'd claimed. She just hoped Bail didn't realize Anakin frequently used his lightsaber as a stand-in for his penis.
Chuchi was standing with a couple of other Senators, and Padme made sure to keep herself well-separated from them, remaining with Bail while they waited. She wasn't sure what they were waiting for; be it Anakin actually rescuing all of them single-handedly and unarmed (Padme chuckled a little at her unintentional pun), Palpatine granting Bane's requests, or for the bounty hunters to just kill all of them. She doubted they'd be killed, but at the same time, she was pretty sure the other two options weren't really very plausible either. Anakin was powerful and Palpatine (hopefully) didn't want his Loyalist Committee killed, but Anakin was also very stupid, and Palpatine was stubborn.
"Did the bounty hunter say 'Skywalker'?" she heard Chuchi ask curiously. "Like, Anakin Skywalker?" At the other Senators' affirmation, Chuchi beamed and Padme decided she was going to ram Chuchi's pointy-toed shoes down her throat. "I know him! I wonder if he was here to see me! He said he'd look me up when we were both on Coruscant again!"
Anger boiled in Padme's gut and she was sorely tempted to march over there and wave Anakin's lightsaber in Chuchi's face and proclaim that Anakin had been there to see *her*, that they were *married*, and that she'd had sex with Anakin on her desk not three hours ago. But Bail put a restraining hand on her arm and gave her a look and she physically bit her tongue.
Her anger ebbed only slightly when the door slid open and two of the bounty hunters entered, dragging an unconscious Anakin behind them. Before Padme could run to him, however, Chuchi was there with a gasp and a squeal. "Oh no!" Chuchi cried, rushing over to Anakin and Padme reached down to slide off a shoe and chuck it at Chuchi's head.
"That's just going to make it very obvious," Bail whispered to her and Padme lowered her foot and straightened with a scowl. "Good girl," Bail said.
When Chuchi pulled Anakin into her lap, Padme made a point of standing directly behind her, clearing her throat every so often when Chuchi's hands began to wander along Anakin's chest and through his hair. The fact Anakin was more or less nestled in Chuchi's boobs wasn't helping Padme in her "don't stab Chuchi with the lightsaber" stance one bit, though.
The lights flickered at the same time Anakin's eyelids did. Her husband seemed to realize he was laying on someone's chest, and he smiled stupidly. "Hey, beautiful," he murmured, as though he had no idea he was not talking to Padme, and was also surrounded by half a dozen other people (which he probably didn't).
Padme crouched down and shoved Chuchi out of the way, moving Anakin into her own lap. "Step off, bitch," she hissed under her breath. She slid Anakin's lightsaber out of her sleeve and into his gloved hand, leaning down next to his ear. "You and I are going to have a *talk*," she promised.
Anakin blinked at her and rolled onto his knees. "Should I rescue you first, M'lady?" he asked, finally realizing that they weren't exactly alone, "or do you want to get into this *now*?"
"You have your lightsaber, Master Jedi," she replied, helping him to his feet. "Do what you do best." She grabbed his collar and pulled him closer. "Besides telling little purple tramps you'll 'meet up' with them."
Anakin stared at her for a long moment, but then the rotunda began to explode and he had to break eye contact to cut a hole in the floor. Padme couldn't help thinking that, if the building wasn't already in the process of being destroyed, Anakin would have a lot of explaining to do to the maintenance crew.
As they fell, she threw her shoe at Chuchi, and felt much, much better. Revenge was sweet.