Disclaimer: I do not own the Alex Rider books.

I woke up, my eyes blurry from a bad night sleep. It was that moment when I realised what day it was, and when despair and hopelessness descended upon me once again.

"It's that day again isn't it" Sabina asked. She was ready for school and standing by the door, her eyes full of worry and sympathy.

But I couldn't even tell her, my throat was dry and it was all I could do to stop myself from crying let alone forming words with my lips. But one look from my beseeching eyes gave her the answer. And so, without another word, she left the house on her way to school, without me.

Not even Sabina could cheer me up on this day. Usually I locked myself in my room and lived though the terrors that were this day a year ago. But today felt different, maybe this time I would be able to visit her gravestone without turning back; maybe today I could manage it. So, in my cold soulless state I slipped out of the house and along the street, towards the train station. The train journey was hell. I hated enclosed places, I hated the way it smelt but most of all I hated the fact that until the next station, there was no way out.

I collapsed into a seat next to a lady who glanced at me worriedly. I looked up and I saw that her hair was exactly the same shade that Jack's had been. I swallowed trying to divert my eyes from it. Jack had been like the functional family that I had never had, she had never tried to trick me, train me or expect more of me than she should. She had been the one person who I could rely upon then she had died and I had let it happen.

The train stopped and I ran out of the doors, desperate to get out of the enclosed space that seemed to press down upon me. But what I faced outside was much worse. I walked stiffly, trying to put one foot in front of the other and trying not to think of what I was about to do. It seemed like forever, that short walk to the church in the town. I was scared that I might bump into Jack's parents so I kept to the shadows. With every step my heart seemed to accelerate and finally, when my heart felt like it was going at 100 mph and definitely breaching the speed limit, I was there. In front of me was the tiny village church, which was covered in blossoming flowers. But as I looked, my attention was drawn to the things that littered the graveyard. I took a deep breath and marched to one of the newer gravestones. And there, on the shiny pale surface were the words 'Here lies Jack Starbright' I stopped reading. I could not bear to read the rest of the gravestone, the words seemed like there had been carved into me and not into the hard smooth stone before me. Accepting that jack was dead had been the hardest thing for me even though I had seen the whole thing on video and knew it to be true. She had been the only person who had really known me for what and who I was.

Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark-haired boy walking up the narrow stone path towards me carrying a bunch of flowers. He paused beside me, tears trickling down his face, before laying the flowers on her grave. He seemed to have to tear his attention away from the stone to turn to me.

"You must be Alex" he said, his voice cracked as he spoke.

I mustered a minute nod.

"I'm Ethan," he said stretching his hand out in my direction. "J..." he didn't seem to be able to say her name "...her nephew" he said finally.

I took his hand and nodded again, still unable to say anything.

Then we both turned away and wondered down the weed-ridden path in a hollow silence that seemed strangely comforting.

Thanks for reading please comment :) Should i continue? Any ideas?