Chapter One: Monday Night, in which Sam mulls over her situation
"Sorry. It's late, I know. But I just really needed to tell you something," she said, all very quickly with the words rushing out of her fast like a dam breaking. She had been pacing back and forth across his room the moment she had entered and shut the door behind her, but finally, she managed to calm herself down and stop, facing forward and lifting her eyes to meet his in a brave, steady gaze.
The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and he wasn't sure if it was because he was waiting in anticipation of her words, or if it was due to the chill of the breeze the open window behind him brought inside.
"It's you," she said, her voice rising just the slightest, maybe in awe, maybe in surprise with her realization. "It's always been you, Freddie."
His heart suddenly constricted tight in his chest and it felt like maybe there was not enough oxygen in the air because it was suddenly very hard to breathe. She stared up at him with a shimmering like hope in her eyes, mired together with impatience and expectation of his reply.
Freddie opened his mouth to say something, but when no words came out after a few moments of him gaping soundlessly, probably very unattractively like a fish, she finally broke the silence for him.
"I just, I just wanted to let you know, really quick. I had to let it off my chest, so to speak," she said in a happy, exhilarated sort of rush. She smiled at him shyly and Freddie had, by this time, regained some composure of decency and he returned the smile, albeit with an unusual uncertainty she did not even notice.
"Carly," said Freddie, and he stopped, bit his lip, and Carly's smile grew.
She suddenly stepped forward and opened her arms to bring him into a warm embrace. He patted her back with some awkwardness, but this, too, she did not notice. It had been clear to her, from the day's events, just how much she meant to him. And it had become clear to her, as well, just how much he meant to her. It was as though a cloth had been lifted from her eyes and Carly could not even comprehend how she had been blind for so long—how had she not seen earlier the merit in Freddie? How had she missed it?
"You don't have to say anything," she murmured. "There's tomorrow, and I know it's late." She stepped away from him, releasing her hold, and with adoration in her eyes, she stepped up on her toes and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Good night, Freddie," said Carly softly, and she turned around and left the room.
Freddie stared at the place where she had been standing not a second earlier before he collapsed onto his bed, bringing his hands up to his head, running them through his damp hair. The sweat which had gathered at his brow chilled in the absence of her presence, and though he suddenly found it easier to breathe, Freddie's heart still felt uncomfortably tight to an almost painful degree.
There was a rustling noise as the curtains of his window were pushed aside and Freddie did not bother to turn around to check what it was. Instead, he twisted his body further away from the window. He did not want to see her. Just the thought made him feel sick, but it did not matter what he wanted because she plopped herself down next to him and gave him a hearty pat on the back.
"Why so glum?" she exclaimed jovially, an ironic twist in her smile.
Freddie exhaled a breath before he opened his eyes.
"Sam," he started, but she interrupted him before he could go any further.
"Cheer up, Fredward," said Sam. "It's what you've always wanted, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it was," said Freddie, after a beat of silence, and his heart felt like it was squeezing tighter and the words felt nothing but empty to him. "But—"
"Then it doesn't matter," said Sam serenely, but with a firmness in her voice which made no room for argument
Without another moment's hesitation, Sam stood and climbed back outside through the window. She took once glance back at him and said, "Later, Freddork" before her head disappeared out of sight.
She was gone, and Freddie's heart did not grow any lighter. Instead, it continued to feel heavy and heavier. He could not believe after all this time, Carly finally wanted him. And he wasn't even sure if he really wanted her anymore. In fact, he was pretty sure he didn't. He was pretty sure he wanted Sam. And now, considering how Sam had just reacted to Carly declaring feelings for him, he was sure Sam did not return whatever he felt.
Freddie leant back down on his bed and reflected on how screwed up his life was.
But if Freddie had stepped outside to the fire escape, he would have seen Sam, sitting with her back against the wall, an expression of absolute misery on her face. He would have seen her taking great care to even her breathing and still her ever-beating heart, mulling over the events in her head with a bitter resignation quite unlike her.
Sam decided she was angry. The problem was that sometimes Freddie could just be so damn noble. She would not be in this situation if he could have managed to keep his heroic sensibilities inside his head and outside of the real life, making saves like some knight in shining armor. Stupid, stupid, stupid Freddie. Didn't he know by now he was supposed to leave the saving Carly to her?
Sam snorted and wiped away at some wetness in her eyes.
Sam decided she was angry, but really, she did not feel angry at all. Not even close. Really, she just felt very, very sad.
The real problem, she supposed, was that there was a possibility she was maybe perhaps in love with him.
Sam closed her eyes.
Not anymore, she decided. Whatever she thought she was feeling, whatever she had felt earlier, it would have to stop.
As of now, Sam Puckett did not notice Freddie Benson had grown into his looks within the last two years in such a way which may not have made every girl in school drool when looking his way, but certainly did not make her heart flutter in her stomach now and then when she caught sight of him in the hallways. Sam Puckett did not nurse burgeoning feelings for her worst frenemy and she certainly did not make out with him in closets when no one else was watching. Hell, Sam Puckett had not been making out with Freddie Benson moments before one knock on the door by one Carly Shay, and as such, Sam Puckett certainly did not care at all that it seemed as though her best friend and the boy she was not in love with were going to get together, maybe marry, and have a billion babies.
If anyone asked, Sam Puckett's heart was not breaking. No, no, not at all.
AN: A newfound love (obsession) for iCarly and all things Sam has taken away the past couple of days of my life. She's just so cute! and Freddie is just so cute! and Carly, too, is just so cute! So this is just the start to a short three/four-parter that hopefully you will enjoy reading. :)