Parallel On The Other Side
Emily's hotel suite large, as if to make up for being forced to play dead, and she wonders if JJ commandeered funding for that as well. She probably did, given how she shows up at her door later in the night without Emily giving her any information as to where she was staying.
It's startling, that knock on the door when no one is supposed to know where she is, but when Emily looks through the peephole, she's extremely relieved to see JJ. She opens the door, pulling JJ into the room and then into her arms. They stand there intertwined for a few minutes before breaking apart. Between the flight and the package drop, they weren't supposed to meet up, but the thought of possibly never seeing each other again makes it hard for the rules to matter.
"You shouldn't…" Emily starts to say before JJ cuts her off with a simple, "You need me here."
And it's true, she does; she needs someone to see her in a way she doesn't even see herself when she catches a glimpse in the mirror.
"Don't go."
"I wasn't planning on it," JJ reassures.
They haven't had sex in months, not because Will forbade it, he never would, but because Emily had been trying her best to shut everyone out as soon as Ian came back into her life, determined to ruin everything good that she'd established.
Still, the slick slide of JJ's fingers is as familiar as ever.
"Open your eyes babe," JJ commands.
She does and the sight is a punch in the gut. Seeing herself with JJ holding her from behind - one arm slung across her chest, resting above that godawful scar, and the other between her legs - in the mirror is almost more than she can take. Teeth nip at the joint where her neck and shoulder meet and Emily watches her reflection shiver.
"That's it," JJ says. "Look at you, so reactive. It's what I love about you."
Emily whimpers at the words. As much as she hates seeing herself these days, looking at herself through JJ's eyes helps take away some of the sting. JJ's quick to catch on, like she was on the plane, and starts a stream of whispered complements that make her blush and the heat between her legs increase.
"Hey, keep those eyes open," JJ reminds her as the fingers between her legs speed up. "I don't want you to miss anything."
It's so hard to not let her eyes fall shut and blame it on the blinding desire pooling in her stomach, but JJ asked her to fight it, so Emily has to try. The tension builds higher and Emily squirms, but she's a good girl; her eyes stay trained on her reflection until she comes.
"Shhh, you're alright," JJ whispers, running her clean hand through Emily's hair.
It's only then that she realizes she's crying. Not a few tears, but deep, painful sobs that don't seem to stop. "I can't, it's...I just..."
"I've got you, it's gonna be okay," JJ promises, but her voice wavers just the tiniest bit and Emily can't help the doubt that takes hold in her gut.
Lauren is dead and Emily is dead, so who is she? Eventually she falls silent and sleeps, but the question still remains.