So this is a little drabble I couldn't get out of my head XD This be enough while waiting for BL? Good. HAVE FUN WITH MY RANDOMNESS! (PS, to people who have not read Bleu Leather, you may not understand this, but it's fine to read anyway. Tigurr and Skritch are my OCs. Tigurr is the cat hybrid, and Skritch in this little jerk obsessed with eye makeup. No big deal. XD This is set post-BL, assuming I finished the story... and here we go...)
Tigurr Visits PetSmart
Skritch heard a knock on his bedroom door and after a few seconds of hesitation, came to answer it. He knew why people didn't often waltz in like in Tigurr's room or Eckere's storehouse. He was… different. A bit strange. Had a habit of dancing on the balcony poles that supported his own lofty room that hung down over three stories below. And among other things he did, that was one of the lowest on the long list of oddities...
Anyhow…
He swung the slab of shiny black wood open to find Megamind standing behind it, calm and straight-faced.
"Hello. What brings you to the mini-Lair?"
"I'm going out to do a few errands—"
"But I thought you didn't do errands."
Megamind grunted at his other habit; interrupting people. "They're only a few errands, but I am so not doing them on a regular basis. I need to quickly drop a repair off at the used electronics store and then go to PetSmart to find a chew toy other than a wrench for my brainbots."
Skritch cocked a notched, curvy eyebrow in slight interest. "PetSmart? You've never gone in there before."
"Well, when you're significantly running low on wrenches to a couple thousand little troublemakers, you have to take action. Minion's shopping for groceries, Kaitoia is demonstrating a possible cure for melanoma, and Roxanne is at work."
"And you knew I wouldn't offer up on the job," Skritch finished for him with a smug grin that made Megamind roll his emerald eyes far up to the industrial ceiling as if this was the last place in the world he wanted to be.
"You better remember the drill. If I come home and find part of the Lair on fire, you're getting the blame whether you or Tigurr did it, since I distrust you more than him. And then, of course, you help in rebuilding and get grounded."
"Ok, fine!" Skritch exploded. "You act like my dad or something…"
"Technically I am, but you act like the bratty teenage boy. Just don't try anything cocky and you'll be fine."
"Okay then. Off you go."
Skritch shooed Megamind away, but after he was about to place his hand on the brass doorknob to slam the door, a thought stopped him dead in his tracks. And it built itself, stacking higher and higher until-
"WAIT!" he nearly screamed, making the hero screech to a stop.
"What now?"
Skritch smiled deviously inside and licked his lips quickly. "Tigurr might like to come along. You could ask him." Maybe he wouldn't suspect anything.
Megamind looked thoughtful, and for one moment suspicious, but consented almost obliviously to that mischevious look that hollered trouble around every corner. Amazing he didn't even sense that expression!
"I could use some help picking out a durable toy for my little babies… And he should know if he's part cat. Okay." Skritch was even more surprised when Megamind threw a polite smile in his direction.
Then he walked off, and he shut his door, staring at his dresser in wonder. Maybe that blue genius wasn't so predictable after all, as he'd been labeled already quadrillions of times.
"Hoo-whee, I'd like to see how everything turns out when they get back!" he spoke aloud to himself. "My pale blue head never seizes to amaze me!" Then he broke out into laughter that soon turned malicious when he realized just how close to the scene he could get.
"Ah-ha!" How else? He could hack into the small camera that was integrated in Megamind's belt buckle. He used it for secret recordings, but now it had just develpoed a proper use. Relieving his boredom.
"And I might even get away with posting that on YouTube… who knows? It might even go viral! Ha ha!"
With new enthusiasm, the eyeshadow-clad baddie leaped into his computer chair and started working as fast as he could.
Tigurr felt awkward stepping into PetSmart, mostly because of the ironic comments he'd undoubtedly get once he was in. If he were significantly less feline; if he had no orange-and-purple tail sticking out his butt, he'd be calmer, but now he was already turning plum.
"So this was Skritch's idea?" Tigurr asked again, voice dripping in a leery tone. His mismatched cat eyes scrutinized Megamind's face as the automatic doors opened and the duo stepped inside.
"Yep!" he replied, perfectly cheery. "Since your half animal and all, you'd probably be best to help me pick out something durable for the brainbots to play with." Tigurr observed the blue hero's face a little longer, but there was no sarcasm evident in it.
"Yeah. Likely story," he muttered.
"What'd you say?"
"Um—I like this store… y."
PetSmart was full of a cacophony of animal sounds. Mostly barking dogs, but the birds chimed in too. On the far left side there were shelves all the way to the ceiling lined with fishtanks and fish food. On the other side were the registers, cat carriers, leashes, the reptile section, and so on. The whole building smelled like dog kibble and cage liner.
"There! Dog toy section," Megamind pointed off to a slight right and strided in that direction with Tigurr trotting along behind, trying to avoid the gaze of people looking at both of them wistfully.
Soon they were in an isle filled with squeaky toy balls and unstuffed and stuffed animals with little sound chips in them. There were all colors and all sizes for different dogs and for even more than one dog. Behind them was the shelf for cat toys.
Megamind looked through all the rubber balls and discarded each one as too weak for his superior robots. Some were too small. Some were too brightly colored. Some were even too full of food they could spill everywhere.
Tigurr tapped his foot as he waited for Megamind to choose the right toy, which was going to take an awful lot of time, him being the eternal perfectionist. He only wanted the best for his little bots so they would be satisfied, and so they would stop losing his wrenches down the alligator pit, or the more hidden pit of death. If he couldn't find anything good, he'd make something durable or he'd just keep buying new wrench sets.
To amuse himself in the meantime, he grabbed a random toy from the cat shelf and squeaked it until Megamind told him to cut it out, he wasn't a full-fledged cat. With a pout, Tigurr placed it back on the rack and waited some more.
Until a familiar smell caught his nose's attention the moment after he inhaled again. It was sharp. It was different than the musty pet smell in the entire store, and it seemed near him.
In fact, right next to him.
Hanging by a short rack were rows of the most wonderful-smelling toys out of all the cat toys. The perfume was so strong to him, it nearly knocked him backwards with the force and the stinging, the wonderful stinging!
He hungrily grasped an orange-sized rubber ball in his hands and read the tag closely.
That was why! A catnip-filled toy!
Quicker than before he tossed it back. No. This would end in trouble. This would end in a complete mess, not to mention humiliation. No matter how the deep-down primal cat instinct burned now that in sensed that heavenly herb sitting so very close to him, yet so far away… he would resist.
For about a minute or so.
Megamind heard a flurry of what sounded like a cat eating fresh tuna from a glass bowl, batting a ball of wool around, languishing lazily on a goose-feather pillow. Plenty of purrs and kittenlike mewlings topped with an occasional…
Giggle?
He whirled around and saw Tigurr himself rolling around on the linoleum of the store, a small rubber ball in his hand that he was batting around, his eyes following it as if it were the most fascinating thing in the world. He was on his knees, bum in the air and tail flicking playfully back and forth. He stopped for a moment to inhale the scent of catnip deeply into his sinuses by pressing the toy to his nose like it was a drug.
For him it was. His pupils were almost fully dilated.
Megamind blushed furiously at the small crowd that had gathered around them both to watch Tigurr fall prey to his feline side. He grabbed a few toys that were only half good for his bots, since what mattered to him now was to get the heck out of there before Tigurr did something even more embarrassing.
The hero bent down on his haunches and snatched the ball away from the delirious alien, causing him to give a meow of protest, and soon he tried using the kitten eyes on him; the kitten eyes again! The crowd resounded with tree-sappy 'awws', which made Megamind's face go even hotter until he was sure he could boil a pot of water with it.
"Come on. We're out of here," he grumbled as he snatched Tigurr up by his wrist like he would a toddler. "Just make it to the register for me, and—TIGURR!"
He had gone completely boneless in his hand. Megamind felt like he was dragging a humiliating potato sack across the floor, and soon half the store was snickering at them.
"Get up, you cursed cat!" the blue man hissed. Tigurr reached for the isle in which they had been in before. "Catnip!"
"It's not like we don't have catnip at home, now get your butt off of the floor and let's go!"
He stole another look at the crowd, eyes shifting.
"Please? Please don't embarass me in front of all these people?"
When he still didn't respond under the iron grip of his catnip-coma, Megamind whipped out his De-Gun as a last resort and pointed it at his big purple head, causing the clusters of people to gasp in shock. It was only an incentive for Tigurr to snap out of it, and once he felt the metal tip of the gun on his skin, he was on two feet in an instant.
"Thank you!" the leather-clad alien sighed. "Just make it to checkout for me, will you?"
"Um, okay… what just happened?" Tigurr questioned in a daze.
"Just come on!" Megamind growled dangerously. He yanked Tigurr along behind him by the wrists, ignoring how he was trying to unpeel from his iron grip. He just wanted to get the stupid toy, then get out before any paparazzi came running, desperate for gossip and money. The money they would make from this! It sickened him to think about it.
The purple would not leave his face as they lagged across an open space in the store where dogs in cages barked and even hamsters stopped turning on their wheels to observe the unusual sight. Megamind was so irritated, he stopped at a chinchilla scrutinizing him in wonder with its round, black eyes and said, "Go back in your plastic igloo, why don't you!"
Soon Tigurr was shamed when he vaguely remembered what had just happened. Catnip. Primal instincts taking over. Rolling on the floor, no less! Now he was all dirty…
He looked anywhere but at the people. At the dog beds. At the parakeets that sent a hungry thrill through him momentarily. Hastily turning to look at a very temperamental German Sheperd on a spiked leather leash.
That. Dog. It was a dog.
Tigurr tensed up until he was as stiff as concrete, which made Megamind nearly scream in his anger when he stopped short and yanked him sharply with no avail.
Tigurr and the dog locked eyes. Pretty soon Megamind saw what he was looking at and barely had time to curse before Tigurr hissed ferally and bolted away deeper into the huge store, ticked off canine giving avid pursuit like the hero-turned villain.
"TIGURR, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"
BARK! BARK! BARK!
As the catlike alien ran on all fours like his instincts had demanded him to do, the rational part of his brain actually doing the thinking sent a desperate message to his entire body, imploring it to stop running for his life, he was trying to get over his irrational dog fear. It didn't listen. Pretty soon two more dogs were trailing behind him; a shaggy brown one with fur dragging along the floor and a frail little Chihuaha.
"NO BRAKES! NO BRAKES!" he whined, hoping someone would take notice and stop him since he was incapable of doing so. It was almost like being mind-controlled! Annoying, powerful, and destructive! Instead of anyone being a good Samaritan and enclosing him in a ten-foot-tall wire cage, the people panicked and parted in front of him as if encouraging him to keep on sprinting like doomsday was upon him. How perfectly helpful.
But what truly terrified him through the fear of the dogs was Megamind, stark raving mad at him for mortifying him right in the middle of the store, and giving chase almost at the speed of the dogs. That caused him to ramp it up a bit, ricocheting around any stable piece of merchandise he could find, and sometimes even veering up the walls. Anything to avoid Megamind's wrath.
But he made the horrible choice of looking behind him to see if any dogs had been recovered by their owners, and at once rammed into something good and solid. He let out a sharp cry of pain. Half his face was numb. He peeled his cheek away from the thing, and then looked at it curiously.
He had run into the plexiglass that enclosed the section… full of cats.
Oh crud.
At once they all stopped what they were doing; stopped wrestling with each other, stopped eating, and even stopped sleeping, just to turn to him. As if they could smell him. Tigurr wanted to dash off, but couldn't, and became a statue once again. Hordes of cats were coming his way. They pawed at the glass, first gently, but then climbing over each other and making a symphony of meows and other sounds as if they wanted to burst through the glass and dogpile onto him.
Speaking of dogs…
Owners were scrambling to retrieve their pets from chasing him, but all the while Megamind got closer and closer. Tigurr panicked at the sight.
The he panicked even more when he saw what the cats were doing.
Were they… piling up on top of each other… at the door that led into the room?
It all happened at once.
Dogs and Megamind pouncing on him.
Door exploding open with an avalanche of cats.
Time to dash away again!
Tigurr's face flushed furiously as he sprinted, now being tailed by wayward dogs, Megamind, and a bunch of cats. Now some people were working up bravery to try and make a grab for one of the cats, no matter how they thrashed and scratched, and some even attempted to stop Tigurr himself, but he barreled past everyone.
"MAKE IT STOOOOOP!"
Now the store manager appeared on a crackly intercom, voice rough on the low-quality speakers, and tried to calm everyone down, but some citizens were just fleeing out the store.
Megamind was outraged. Something above that, actually. Stupid Tigurr and his instincts he had to keep at bay. One simple dog tipped him off, and sent this enormous chain reaction! How did the cat horde even get out of their plexiglass enclosure?
If he kept up pursuit like this, just following behind him, he'd never get anywhere. He had to cut him off at some point. Maybe if he went around the hamster and reptile isles, he'd intercept the alien, and then get the heck out of there before the police and news crews arrived and interviewed them both to death.
He swore to himself, if Roxanne came along with them, he'd just die right on the spot. Simple as that.
Tigurr leapt over a few crates, barely dodging the delivery people that looked on, bewildered. Those cats were not deterred. They had his same jumping abilities, and more. He wasn't a complete feline, darn it. He growled in utter frustration. He was getting exhausted, here! Something had to happen!
Something like… smacking his face against a dead end? No. That couldn't be right. But it had happened anyway. Second time smacking into something.
"Aw, CATNIP!"
Before he even made sense of how many cats there were that wanted to snuggle with him, they pounced, furry and soft and warm and cuddly on his like a killer pod of fluffy, adorable coyotes. He tried to squirm. He tried to resist. He tried not to give in to these irritating little urges he had inside, but…
Once again he succumbed. Now he bathed in the pool of adoring cats rather than fight against it. Wading in a pond of curious, fuzzy kittens, longhair, shorthair, and tabby all sniffing his face and making it tickle. He was laid flat on the dirty linoleum floor. The cat instincts were more dominant than he ever thought, now that he was dripping in a familiar cat smell that his room vaguely smelled of. They were hypnotizing him like the cat toy…
He was in a brief piece of heaven until there was a sharp tug on his wrist that nearly tore it off the socket, and then a small pressure of spikes that penetrated his leather suit. There was grumbling. There were camera flashes in the background, even.
"I am NEVER taking you anywhere near here again, Tigurr, do you hear me? NEVER! Can't believe this…"
The enraged blue genius whirled around to face the pack of cats that were following them both, and out of sheer desperation he whipped out his De-Gun to dehydrate as many as he could, one at a time, ranting on and on like an angry parent until one thought striked him like anvil on the head just as a camera went off in his face. Another paycheck raise for one lucky tabloid photographer…
"Skritch."
"Well, DUUUUHHH!" Tigurr exclaimed, hearing Megamind's voice even with the deafening noise of people, police, paparazzi, and pets. "WHO ELSE would be behind this? Hew probably set you up because he was bored! He knew I'd run loose like a wild animal!"
Megamind pushed his way out of the thick crowd until he barely made it to the sliding automatic doors, and then hassled for the invisible car, wondering how mad he could truly get before having a nervous breakdown. That's why he had suggested Tigurr tag along, that little devil.
Megamind started the car with a roar just as the purple alien in the back buckled his seatbelt awkwardly , and then most of the paparazzi danced out of the way. He frowned out the window before stiffly pulling the invisible switch, and then they were safe from those idiot moneygrubbers.
It was only when he glanced downward at a small, red recording light blinking on his belt that he put the puzzle pieces together once and for all, and nearly made his entire brilliant skull explode with fury.
Skritch climbed back up from the floor where he had busted his gut multiple times, laughing out of control so much his mascara was running along with his eyeliner, creating rivers of inky black that ran down his pale cheeks like he was emo. He barely mustered the strength to grab the edge of his desk to haul himself back up on his chair to look at his computer monitor, which was displaying that the alien duo was now in the car, Megamind flying off the handle in his rage, and Tigurr shrinking back in his chair when the rear view mirror came into view as soon as Megamind shifted in his seat. Skritch figured now would be the perfect time to turn the camera off, since he had just come face to face with a pair of venomous green eyes staring straight into the lens, which made him jump, feeling that he could see through the computer screen directly at him. He clicked the Stop Recording button and leaned back in his chair with a sense of mischievous pride full inside him.
He couldn't wait until they got home. He quickly worked with the video, playing and editing a little until it was uploading to YouTube in no time at all, just as he heard the invisible car screech to a stop in the warehouse below. He minimized the window and heard the scuffling noises and the outraged mumbling as Megamind and Tigurr both raced upstairs at once. He could hear the stomping drawing nearer.
"Three…two…one."
His door banged open with so much force, the hinges should have been scattered on the floor. Behind the wood stood one and a half purple aliens (Megamind's face was purple with anger), panting and dirty and smelling like a room full of calicos.
"Have fun?" Skritch tried to sound casual, but ended up laughing his lungs out again, tumbling off his chair with the force.
Megamind whipped off his belt and cracked it in the air. "I should tan your sorry little backside RAW with what recorded this entire scam! I need a new pair of boots!"
Skritch looked at him from the floor and scampered up, only to purposely fall facefirst on his bed so the said body part being threatened stuck out, exposed to anything.
"Go ahead! I dare you! I think I'll actually enjoy it!"
Despite that snarky little tone, Megamind stepped forth and whipped Skritch's butt with all his might, the muscle jiggling and leaving Skritch with a numb sensation on his cheek he didn't mind at all, even when it turned to burning.
"Do it as many times as you like!" he offered.
But Megamind paid no attention. What he was looking at was Skritch's computer monitor and what he had minimized in his toolbar. He clicked it…
His nose was an inch from the monitor in the next few seconds.
"It UPLOADED to YOUTUBE?" he practically squeaked.
"He WHAT?" Tigurr screeched.
They locked eyes with Skritch, and if looks could kill, that troublemaker would be vaporized into lava on the spot. He just smirked like he had secretly won the lottery.
"Catch me if you can!" He cried, zooming out the room with his flight powers.
"I…AM…GOING…TO…MURDER YOU!"
As Skritch glided through the Lair and came across a couple of Brainbots hiding from their master's and the cat's rage quit, he patted each on their smooth glass domes and laughed quietly to himself.
"I am in soooo much trouble… BUT IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT! I wonder how many views it's gotten in the past five minutes?" He looked at a Brainbot he knew by name: Sprocket. "Eh, Sprocket? Five hundred or two thousand?"
The cyborg just gave a bowg of confusion and hesitantly directed its bright red eyestalk down to the disgruntled, exhausted, beyond any sane level of angry aliens who wanted nothing more than to slap Skritch good and hard across his face.
He hugged the little robots in his arms like they were close friends. "Maybe you two should stay with me for a bit. Daddy Megamind and Uncle Tigurr are having a bit of a tantrum, and you don't want your circuit boards ripped out, do you?"
With that statement, the Brainbots wriggled out from Skritch's buff arms and bumbled off somewhere safer. He chuckled in spite of himself.
Once the hoopla of this all blew over, he thought, he should try and see what other things he could capture hacking into that little camera…
THE END
WHEEE! Skritch is gonna get his butt whipped until he sees stars, I swear XD Till the next update! ;) I LAUGHED THE ENITRE TIME WRITING THIS LOL. Sorry if it was short... I read over this and it seems kinda short...but hilarious, is it not? :D OKAY BYE EVERYONE.