Author's Note: Written for the Pairing One Hour Challenge on the HPFF. My pairing was Remus/Luna, which I have NO experience with, and are NOT my fortay. I tried, though! I tried hard!

Time started: 1:20 AM September 3rd, 2012

Time Finished: 3:38 AM September 3rd 2012

I LOVED doing this challenge, so please check it out and sign up too! Review as well, please, and look for my three prompts: hot chocolate, winter, and lilac!

Word Count Without the Author's Note: 5,003

Blessings,

Sarah.


Remus's eyes were full of bitterness, and she saw it. She glanced at him once, and knew. She knew that Tonks hadn't made it. It didn't matter, then. Neville didn't matter, Harry didn't matter…Voldemort didn't matter. She was tired of this war taking things from everyone. Remus hadn't deserved to lose anything- he was innocent; smeared with the mark of a beast by someone else's choosing. It wasn't fair; her old Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was crumbling- his heart was torn in two, and she noticed. Her eyes saw his, but they were just the window: the window that let her get a glimpse of his heart. It was fleeting; fading, but she saw. There she was, running. Running like she was running to a long lost lover, but in all reality she just knew he needed someone, and she would be that someone. Blood stuck to the bottom of her shoes, squishing against the heels as she took in the piles of rubble and rows of bodies. She didn't see Tonks anywhere, and wondered if Remus was simply assuming that she had died, but it was then that she caught sight of her, not far away from where he had just all but fallen onto a piece of un-harmed stone floor. He slumped against a wall, the blood that was splattered against it staining his old, tweed cloak. In his hands he gripped a picture of their son, and tears were pouring from his eyes as he did nothing to hold them back. Luna wasn't afraid of his pain, though, and she held nothing back as she sat next to him and reached out her hand.

"Your son is so handsome, professor."

Her words were even; caring. They seemed to erase the battle that had just taken place, and create a new world for the two of them right there for the time being. Remus nodded tensely as he remembered where he was, though- remembered the reality of it all.

"Shouldn't you be with your friends, Miss Lovegood?"

"Surely you believe I consider you a friend," she all but whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Remus offered her a watery smile.

"You lost her, didn't you?" Luna stated bluntly, never taking her eyes off him.

"I did," his voice cracked. "I lost her."

His head fell into his hands and the picture of Teddy slowly blew to the ground, landing in a sticky pile of red goo.

"All I want to do is find her," he almost wailed- his words so muffled Luna could hardly understand them.

"One day you will," she stated kindly once more; obviously.

"I'm a monster, Luna. There's no way I would arrive at the same place of such a warm, innocent person."

"You aren't a monster," she replied softly, lifting his chin. "You're a pretty inviting person, yourself. You have a warm heart- it doesn't matter how people view your exterior."

Remus offered her another slightly watery smile.

"I can't help but feel this is my fault, I-"

"-Did you call Voldemort here? Personally ask him to attack today? To target your wife?" There was a fierceness in her eyes that he had never seen before, and he swallowed thickly, beseeching himself to believe her.

"N-no, but-"

"-There's no 'but', Remus," she stood then, grabbing his hand. "Don't you get it? Tell me you get it."

She cocked her head to the side, staring up at him as she awaited the answer she was hoping he'd give.

"I understand," he replied quietly.

Luna took his hand in her own once more and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Come with me. We need to get you cleaned up and home to your son."


Remus winced as the warm water entered the wound on his arm. Luna just smiled dreamily, though, dipping the rag in more water and soap as the bucket's contents turned a vibrant rust color and began to smell of the blood and flesh that she was rubbing off the wound.

"Tell me about him," she asked abruptly.

"I'm sorry?" Remus responded, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Your son," Luna urged, chuckling slightly. "Theodore."

"Well, he's with Andromeda right now, I-" His voice cracked but she cut in.

"-Don't talk about her family," she said softly, shaking her head gently as she watched the wound on his arm, squeezing some more water onto it.

"Luna, Teddy is Dora's family- so am I, you know that thinking of our son reminds me no more or less of her than speaking of her mother."

He was almost fully sitting up again now, and Luna pushed him down gently, looking into his eyes.

"See now? You're all worked up. Relax."

Remus stared at her for a long moment before giving in, nodding slightly and laying his head back against the pillow stained with his own blood.

"How long will healing these wounds take?"

"You mean how long before you can move, or how long before they go away?"

"I'm a werewolf- I don't care if they go away. When can I move and see my son?"

"In less than an hour if you keep still," Luna responded, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand to remove the sweat, and thus smearing Remus's blood across her head.

"You should wipe off your forehead, you kno-"

"-Remus, please keep quiet. If you keep quiet, you will keep still."

He said nothing more for the remaining time of his wound cleaning. He winced on various scrubs, but for the most part the ointments that she ran along the scratches and placed in the deep wounds helped numb the sore areas. Now, there was only a gentle throbbing, and he didn't feel the compulsive need to jump out of his own skin at the 'nails on a chalkboard' feeling.

"Feel any better?" Luna finally asked, giving Madame Pomfrey the bloody bucket and tucking her legs underneath her before sitting on them. Remus blinked rapidly as he watched her, so nonchalant and carefree- so kind.

"Remus?" She caught his attention once more.

He shook his thoughts away and nodded.

"I feel number- which is better, I do suppose. Perhaps I can see my son now?"

He made a move to sit up, but Luna placed a gentle hand to his chest, and through the cuts in his shirt he felt her smooth, cool skin. He didn't wait for her to push him to lie back down. She didn't remove her fingers, but kept them there until he moved his hand to grasp hers, and in that moment her eyes widened slightly and she pulled away, smiling sweetly.

"Maybe it is a good time for you to see your son," she whispered, leaning close to his face.

"Could you take me?" He asked back equally as quiet.

Luna struggled with this for a moment, but nodded. It was going to be hard for Remus- breaking the news to Tonks's Mum and seeing Teddy for the first time. The least she could do was be there for him. After all, that is what she was doing, wasn't it- Being there for him?


Remus's house wasn't far from Andromeda's, so Luna walked there with Teddy as Remus stayed behind to break the news. The night had a slight chill to it, so Luna removed her white cardigan and bundled the baby boy in it, holding him close to her chest as she walked through the wind to the small cottage that belonged to Remus and his tiny family. She unlocked the door with a quick flick of her wand and stepped aside, glancing around and making sure there were no Death Eaters in the shadows, and then setting Teddy down in a small cot that was in the kitchen. Luna shut the door behind her, locking it as she looked around the dining area. It was small, and rather run-down looking, but you could tell that Tonks had done everything to bring color to it. She drew pictures, as did Remus, they had family photos hanging on various spaces of wall, and there were quite a few vases filled with different flowers from the flowerbed outside their window. Luna smiled slightly- it really was a beautiful little place for their beautiful little family. It was hard to believe that they had just fixed this all up; just given birth to their beautiful baby boy, and that their mother…wife, would be dead tonight. Luna took in a deep inhale of breath as this realization dawned on her. She hadn't personally known Tonks much, but she sure knew of her. She was a colorful, vibrant young woman, a gifted auror, and she loved fiercely and freely. She had convinced Remus to be with her, after all. How Luna envied her sense of style and her love that pushed Remus over the edge. Sometimes, Neville pulled those stunts on her: making her feel like she was making a bad decision in him; trying to convince her that he wasn't good enough for her. It never worked, of course, but it was beginning to become annoying.

Sighing, Luna noticed that Teddy had fallen fast asleep, and that ten minutes had already passed. She had no idea how long it would take Remus to tell Andromeda, nor how long it would take for him to stop comforting her and get home, so she decided to begin making him one of his favorite things: hot chocolate. Yes, she had remembered from Defense Against the Dark Arts that he was absolutely in love with chocolate, and she always saw him sipping on hot chocolate, whipped cream sticking to his upper lip and small mustache. Her ex-professor was so warm and amiable. She sort of felt bad that she discriminated against werewolves, because to think that he was one just didn't add up. He wasn't evil, foul, or cruel. He didn't like grotesque or gruesome things, and he was rather smart. He was sweet, kindly, and a bookworm. He was just to himself, and thoughtful. Luna loved that. Luna loved how he could make a person feel; how he could make her feel. He always made all of his students feel special, but she liked to believe that she had been one of his absolute favorites.

She got the hot chocolate ready and waited patiently for the water to boil. When it became too tiring, though, she used an even more powerful heating spell and brought bubbles rising to the surface of the clear liquid in no time. She hummed softly to herself as she bustled about the kitchen, gathering the sugar, chocolate powder, and more to put in the cooking saucer. It didn't take long to get everything together, though, and before she knew it she was pouring a steaming cup of hot chocolate into a mug, topping it off with whipped cream as she heard a knock at the door.

"Coming!" She responded cheerfully, licking her fingers free of the sticky white cream as she opened the door.

Remus took her appearance in for a moment, surprised, before giving her the weakest of smiles and stepping into the kitchen as he locked the door behind him.

"Raiding my cabinets, Luna?" He asked, peering into the cot and checking on his son.

"More like your refrigerator," Luna commented, still licking her fingers as she looked up at him with her dreamy expression.

Remus nodded, sniffing a few times before he smiled rather wider than he had been in the last few hours.

"Hot chocolate is my absolute favorite beverage to have when-"

"-You are sick or upset, I remember."

Remus took the mug Luna offered him without comment, sipping it slowly as he savored the taste, its warmth taking away the bitter cold in the pit of his stomach. He removed the mug from his lips to reveal the small patch of whipped cream on his mustache. Luna chuckled softly.

"What's so funny?" He asked innocently.

Luna grinned, taking a towel from the counter and reaching up to dab at his upper lip.

"There you go," she commented.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"Anytime," she replied quietly, balling the rag up in her hands.

It was then that she knew what was about to happen; then that she felt the guilt. Everything became crystal clear then- the smell of rich chocolate, the sadness of Tonks's death, the sound of Teddy squirming in his cot, and the feel of Remus's lips on hers as they both leaned in slowly, finally meeting. She was about to pull away as quickly as she had lent in, but he tangled his hand into her hair, keeping her close to him. Her eyes fluttered shut as she caught a glimpse of the moon outside the window. It was a sliver too short to be full, but she supposed that even missing a small sliver, the near full moon was more than enough to push Remus's animalistic desires over the edge. Her thoughts wandered to something that made her feel even more guilty in that moment- what a wonderful celebration he would have had with Tonks tonight- the war won, lying in each other's arms and dreaming about their new, free lives together. It was in that instant that Luna pulled herself forcefully out of his grasp.

"T-tonks!" Luna gasped out. "Remus, I am not your wife."

"No, you aren't," he responded, leaning backwards against the wall nearest the door. "And she's never coming back."

Luna was sure if there had been a dagger in the room, it would have just pierced him through the heart. The words he spoke to himself stung deep into his being, paining him. She was brought out of her reverie as tears began to flow down his face, and she noticed them. she moved to crouch beside him, seeing as he had once more slumped to the ground, and she rubbed his back as he buried his face in his arm.

"Shh, it's okay," she tried to comfort. "It's all going to be alright, Remus."

She tried hard to get him to stop crying, but it was no use until he decided to stop crying on his own, so that's what she waited for- she waited for him to cry himself out, and finally stop. Unfortunately, he didn't stop until the early hours of the morning- her limbs were falling asleep, and he had somehow managed to windup half asleep and leaning his head onto her shoulder. She shied away from him, moving her shoulder out from under his head, but it was no use. The movement awoke him and he looked up at her, beckoning her to stay.

"Remus, go back to sleep. Teddy is fine, and I'm going to go home and leave you two to rest. I will be back in the morning with some food."

"No," his eyes darted around the room, adjusting to the sudden light that his open eyes absorbed. "Stay with me tonight, Luna."

She stared into his eyes, and once again she saw it all there: the hurt, the rejection, the bitterness…

She couldn't just leave him. It was impossible for a human such as herself. She needed to stay to help him.

"Alright," she agreed, nodding as he pulled her down into the same position they had been in once more.

"You know, professor-"

"-keep calling me Remus, Luna. Not professor."

"Remus, okay," she responded. "tomorrow night is full moon. I can watch Teddy if you'd like."

"Maybe," Remus yawned. "Andromeda already said she needs to keep seeing her grandson. She may want to watch him this weekend."

Luna nodded. "I'm only trying to help."

Remus looked up at her, and nodded. "I know you are, Luna. I know you are."


The next morning rolled around quickly, and Remus ached that next day from spending the whole night on the floor. He had awoken many times during the night, but he was simply unable to go to his and Dora's bed- it was just impossible to think of. He couldn't bring himself to take up her side of the bed, nor lie alone. He couldn't possible smell her perfume, and feel the pajamas she hid under the pillow for the next night. These things did, indeed, make him curious, though. He wondered then what pajamas she had intended on wearing for this next night; wondered if she wore the perfume he had purchased her for Christmas. It was then, in the early morning, when Remus finally decided to go into their bedroom, did he find out each hidden little 'fact.' As Luna made breakfast and bustled around the kitchen, he made way to his and Dora's bedroom, opening the door ever-so-slightly as it creaked in protest and stepping inside. He reached under her pillow and pulled out one of his shirts then- a white one with a rather large front pocket. He held it to his nose and smelled the perfume he had purchased her, too. The one he hadn't been sure she would like, but she fell in love with just because he bought it for her. That fascinated him- that she actually wore it and used it even when she knew he wouldn't realize it. He laughed quietly to himself- he had realized it. Death ruined a lot of things…It revealed tons of secrets. It showed a grieving husband that his wife appreciated everything he got for her, even if he wasn't confident it was something she would like.

After a few long moments, he had had enough. The pain was almost decapitating- it reiterated deep inside of him, a mantra of 'she's gone, she's dead, she's no longer here', played over and over in his mind, and he balled up the shirt, throwing it forcefully against the dresser. Of course, it made no impact- all it did was unravel and fall to a heap on the floor. This, though, made him even angrier: that's what he had seen his wife do. She was hit by a curse; she just fell limp, and crumpled to the floor. He shook off these thoughts in anger, not wanting to dwell on her death any longer. He gathered the clothes of his he would need for the next day, then, and shut the door behind him, wishing not to go back into their bedroom at least for that day.

"Remus, how do you like your eggs?"

"Scrambled," he responded, but void of any smile. "I enjoy the childish things at heart."

Luna nodded as she broke two eggs in a dish and began beating at them in what appeared to be an angry manner.

"Coming right up!"

Remus turned then, facing his son who was moving around in his cot and beginning to whimper softly. He reached in and removed the child's blanket, covering his son in it more comfortably and taking him into the living room to change him, and then put new clothes on him. It didn't take long, and before he knew it, he was back in the kitchen, fishing for a new bottle for his son.

"Luna, have you cleaned anything?"

"No, prof- Remus. I'm sorry, I haven't. You need a baby bottle?"

"Yes, I-" he opened the top cabinet and grabbed the bottle out. "Aha! I knew it was here somewhere. Tonks always puts them in such hard to reach places- I will need to tell her to stop doing that when she gets home from wor-"

Remus stopped mid-sentence then, and swallowed thickly as he clenched Teddy's bottle so tightly in his hand that Luna was worried it would burst.

"Right. She isn't here any longer."

He set Teddy's bottle down in front of Luna and handed her Teddy.

"Mind looking after him for a bit?"

Luna didn't respond before she turned on his heel to walk back into the kitchen, and she stood there, transfixed as she watched him exit the room.


When she was finished feeding Teddy and finishing the breakfast preparations, Luna set Teddy back in his cot with a toy to play with and walked into the living room to deal with Remus. She knew he was heartbroken, and she knew that he was probably falling into denial…But was it normal to forget that your spouse died during a battle that happened less than twenty-four hours ago? Luna wasn't sure, but she did know that when her mother died her father had been a complete wreck…Never forgetting; never moving on.

"Remus?" Luna asked quietly as she took a seat on the couch next to him.

He turned to look at her, but said nothing, and Luna gulped as she faced him. There was anger in his face; his cheeks were flushed red and his temples were drawn into his head in deep concentration. She had the feeling that he would begin barking or howling at her at any moment. If she said something wrong, she knew she would hear his angry snarl.

"Remus, I know you miss her," She continued on, deathly afraid that she would offend the wolf.

"I feel like I can't live without her, Luna, you don't understand."

"Help me to understand then, Remus."

She knew trying him like his was not good, but she had to.

Didn't understand? She didn't understand what- Love? She had watched her father fade away to nothing day after day when her mother died, and then she had fallen deeply in love with Neville, only to realize that they weren't what each other needed- that they would never work. In her eyes, she knew a little something about love, and she didn't need her ex-professor telling her otherwise.

"Luna, I know you're smart, but love is just…so complicated. Tonks was so beautiful, and somehow, the love we need, touched me deep in my core, right here," he placed a hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat quicken underneath the placement of his palm. "Love like that never goes away, so how do you heal?" He asked, removing his hand.

Luna stared at him for a long moment when she finally realized what she wanted. She wanted to be respected, and cared for; she wanted to be with someone who understood love, and who could show her what it truly meant. She wanted someone who felt they were good enough for her…and in an instant, Remus was the one. Whether it was because she felt the spark inside of her, or because he was the only man in front of her, she wanted him; needed him.

"You move on," she replied, taking his hand back in her own and placing it over her heart.

He nodded with wide eyes as her heartbeat quickened more, and she leaned into him again.

"I suppose that is what you do," he responded, his cheeks burning redder.

"It is, Remus. Trust me."

Luna fell into the kiss, then. She gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him close to her, ignoring Teddy's wailing from his cot in the next room. Remus gripped her wrist as she clenched his shirt and moved it to his lips to place a soft kiss there. Her wrist were so tiny, and so cold. In contrast to his large, warm ones, he felt in charge- he felt as though he was leader of this tiny pack. Under the influence of the moon it made him feel superior; he liked it. He kissed her back with fervor, until Teddy's cries became too loud to ignore. But they both were reeling, still. Even after they stood, the fire burned deep in their stomachs- it was something new, something different. Neither of them could quite place it.


It had been weeks since their kiss; weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts. The school was being re-established, and the Ministry was pulling itself together once more. new laws were being passed for House Elves, Werewolves, and Half-Breeds, and everyone was finally beginning to realize that whether they liked it or not, they had to move on with their lives. Remus and Luna, had already done that, though- that first night and first day after the war- they had moved on. They had found each other in a time of loss and confusion, and they sought solace in eachother- finding it without much chase. They had spent much time together since then, Luna speaking of the winter months that would approach in half a year, and how she wanted to spend them with him; telling him how much she enjoyed brewing his hot chocolate and making him feel appreciated.

Remus thought of Tonks every day, but it was becoming less painful. He had always known that as an auror, it was her life job to put her own life at risk…He had been made to face his worst fear, but he had unknowingly always prepared for it- he knew he and his son could make it through. Luna helped lessen the burden- she helped clean the house, care for Teddy, and she was release for him in the form of friendship, company, and love. Her cold, tiny hands were always a spark for him- she'd rest a hand on him to shake him awake, or rest a hand on his shoulder or chest as they kissed. Their kisses were deep now, their loving was passionate. It was beginning to feel like the gaping hole in Remus's heart was becoming smaller- it was beginning to feel like he was going to make it through this. He enjoyed Luna's scent now- the smell of lilacs and pine. He enjoyed kissing her, and holding her. After full moons, she catered to his wounds, and every night, she made him dinner.

Losing Tonks had been the hardest thing he had ever done, but he knew that after all the loving work she had put into him, he couldn't just harden his heart. It had meant the world to him to finally open up and let someone in, and he knew his heart would ache for the void to be filled if it was simply emptied and he closed his heart again. Yes, he had Teddy, but it wasn't the same- Teddy wasn't speaking company, and he wasn't a life-partner. Remus just wanted companionship, and he had gotten it twice. He considered himself lucky, to have shared his life with such a beautiful young woman, and to now build his life back together with such a gifted and caring young witch. Luna made his life brighter, and since she had walked up to him after the battle, things hadn't seemed so bleak.


It was one of their typical afternoons together today. Remus enjoyed these the most. It was moments like these in which Remus thanked God for someone so very much like him, and for such pretty company. Remus peered over the top of his book at Luna who sat across the room, engrossed in her own novel.

"What are you reading?" Remus asked curiously, closing his book momentarily and holding his place with his finger.

"Pride and Prejudice," Luna responded absentmindedly, continuing with her reading.

Remus chuckled and turned back to the book of Herbology he was enjoying.

"You know," Luna commented off-handedly. "I hate when you read Herbology books- the remind me of Neville."

Remus sighed softly, closing the book. "Well when you decide to put dye in your beautiful blonde hair," he stood to pull at one of her curls. "You remind me of Tonks. Perhaps, we can both come to an agreement?"

"Fine," Luna shut her book, intrigued as well as she stood before Remus. "I won't dye my hair again if you don't read another Herbology book."

"There has to be a catch."

"You don't make me bleach this out," she pointed to a light blue strand. "And I let it fade out on its own."

Remus laughed and shook her hand. "Fair enough."

They stood there then, smiling at one another as they held hands, and eventually they twisted their fingers together, swinging them lovingly instead of shaking them in agreement.

"I love you, Luna," Remus said so quietly Luna would have missed it if she had been saying anything just the smallest bit higher.

"Remus, I-"

He held a finger to her lips, smiling. She entwined her other hand with his other as he removed his finger from her lips and leaned in to kiss him.

"You love me too, I know."

"How?"

"I just get this vibe, you know? The one that screams you love being in the prescence of such a dangerous creature who happens to be very fond of you."

"I didn't know I sent off that vibe," Luna chuckled, kissing him softly.

"Well you do," he replied, pulling her into his arms. "I wouldn't mind kissing you some more before Teddy wakes up, you know."

Luna grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I wouldn't mind that either."


So the rest of their evening went. They fed Teddy on schedule, changing him and feeding him every time he whined from his small crib down the hall. In between those times, though, they were unable to be pried from one another. They laid in between the sheets, discussing their futures and discussing the past- speaking of the worlds in their books, and the world outside their door. Remus let his guard down and spoke briefly about how he wasn't ready for marriage or strong commitment, and how he wasn't sure he would be for a long time. Luna expressed simply that she was okay with that, though, and that she felt the same way. Then, as he removed his watch and wrapped a bare arm around her small, cool shoulders, he realized that he felt something for once during these blissful few weeks that finally mirrored an emotion he had with Tonks…

It was that he didn't simply love the woman lying next to him- but that he was in love with her.