Disclaimer: I do not own Daria and its characters.
Prologue
Daria tightened the plush green robe around her, hair dripping wet, as she dawdled along the Persian carpeted hallway of her former history teacher's home, or Tony's Love Shack, as Brittany and Angie called it.
She could hear his distinct gravelly cackle, nearing the ajar door of the master bedroom. Jane had clearly been amusing him with her witty repertoire during her absence. Either that or she had been showing him her sketches of 101 ways to murder Kevin.
Anthony glanced up at the brunette as she entered the candle-lit room. "Ah Daria. It's about time," he said, blue eyes sparkling. He held a loose arm around Jane as they lay together in the king sized bed." Jane and I THOUGHT we had lost you DOWN the plughole."
Anthony and Jane shifted to make room in the bed for Daria, while she removed her robe and discarded it on the floor by the bed. He held out his other arm to guide her, pulling her into the red satin sheets, which had been littered with both black and red rose petals. Jane smiled at Daria wickedly, a mischievous hue in her eyes as she tossed her a packet of rubbers from across the other side of the bed.
Daria's expression was anxious and bewildered. "I know I was a long time in there," she admitted.
Anthony and Jane looked at her, waiting for an explanation.
"I – I was putting my new diaphragm in, and I think it's stuck."
A/N: Not exactly PC, but it's a lot tamer than what I had first written.