For the Summer Reading Ficaton
Title:Grace
Author:numbartist
Rating:General
Pairing:GSR
Spoilers:Post-Living Doll.
Disclaimer: Well, only 4 more months 'til December...
Prompt: Flannery O'Connor
"Grace is Change, and Change is Painful."
-Flannery O'Connor
And he prayed.
The waiting room light flickered dimly while Grissom sat, shoulders shaking as he sat in the dull chairs with his hands buried in his hands. His head was throbbing and his, mind racing. He couldn't live without her…he wouldn't.
Sara had been brought in barely hours before and was currently struggling to stay alive in surgery. Her beau currently had no indication of her progress; he only had fear. He had grown superfluously anxious as the time had ticked by but was currently lost in his own thoughts. When they had found her in the routinely sere desert trapped under a mess of metal… an arm had been unwillingly visible but… Sara hadn't been moving. He'd thought that he'd lost her. But as he held her pale hand, he felt a weak pulse grace his fingers like a feather; hardly there. Through the ride to the hospital, he had caressed and kissed her fingertips, making a silent vow that if she made it through, he would leave her side.
But, waiting with the placid of the air conditioner as his only companion, he couldn't help but think of loss and aftermath. If Sara survived, would she be able continue the same life? What if she didn't survive? No, she had to make it though. She just had to… He felt dolorous just thinking about it.
And so Grissom did the only thing he could do.
And while Grissom didn't really have a strong belief in God, he prayed with every bone and all the soul he could muster to any higher being to let Sara live. It was very difficult for him, to pray to someone who had a power over the world while he had seen so many people died in his hands everyday. With his job, Grissom knew just how much people could and would do to one another. It was hard for him to think of, nonetheless pray, to a god that would allow it's creations to harm one another in the most horrific ways.
How could a god let people suffer the way that so many people did? And yet people still continued to venerate? It made Grissom confused. To have faith in something you have never seen?
"Sometimes I think we made up God just to have someone to blame for our mistakes." It was an interesting theory. Depending on how deep you took Sara's words, it was almost abstruse. You could blame God for your life; you could blame Him for making the wrong decision; you could even censure Him for your thinking, but even as you do so, the true god you are blaming is really a separate persona of your own self. A false copy, regarding only the way you want Him to. Not the real thing. The real God would be something greater then the thoughts of mere humans.
The more Grissom pondered this, the more intrigued he became with this point of view examined from inside himself. The concept of God was still wary to him, though. He pushed aside the thoughts of the blame he was placing upon God for the horrific things other people did. It wasn't truly his fault. He couldn't prevent every disaster on this earth. But if he could debar this one and let Sara live, Grissom knew he would believe forever.
And so, he prayed.