A/N: Written for the Nepal Charity Relief Auction on NFA. This ficlet is based on the following quote: "There's nothing more dangerous than an honest man." I do not own NCIS or any of its characters.
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"Tony, this is the worst idea you've ever had."
Tim isn't sure why he's whispering. He, Tony and Ellie are standing in the center of the elevator, the emergency stop button having been pushed several minutes ago, and there is pretty much zero chance of being overheard. Still, the three of them form a tight triangle, huddling together as if they're teenagers plotting something their parents won't approve of.
In a small way, the comparison is quite fitting.
"Gibbs said that he doesn't want a retirement party," Tim continues. "I don't know about you, but I learned a long time ago that it's best to avoid things that Gibbs doesn't want."
"Oh McGee, McGee," Tony says as he shakes his head in mock disappointment. "The retirement party isn't for Gibbs. It's for us."
Tim furrows his brows in confusion. "That doesn't make-"
"The party is for the people he's leaving behind," Tony clarifies, only not really because Tim is still not following. "So we can feel better about sending him off. Gives everyone a chance to say goodbye."
"Kind of like funerals," Ellie pipes up for the first time.
"You better not let Gibbs hear you comparing his retirement to a funeral," Tim points out to her gravely before turning his attention back to Tony. "And that's just stupid. We didn't have a party for him when he retired before."
"That wasn't a retirement," Tony retorts, crossing his arms on his chest. "That was a hiatus."
"Gibbs retired before?" Ellie asks.
"We don't like to talk about it," Tim states at the same time Tony utters, "Dark times."
Tim moves to unlock the elevator, but Tony slaps his hand away. "We'll be careful," Tony assures him. "He won't suspect a thing."
"Of course not, because the three of us having a meeting in his office isn't suspicious at all!" Tim says, his voice finally rising in volume.
"We have been in here for a long time," Ellie points out.
"You just have to keep him distracted," Tony says, "long enough for Abby, Ellie and I to set everything up."
"Distracted?" Tim asks incredulously.
"Yes. Well, you'll also have to get him to the party. Without him figuring it out, of course."
"Of course," Tim says sarcastically. "Tony, I can't lie to Gibbs. You know I can't!"
"And that's why this will work!" Tony spreads his arms out in some sort of ta-da! gesture. "He'll never suspect a thing if you're the one feeding him the lies. He'd see through me in an instant because he expects stuff like this from me. But not from you. See?"
Tim lifts an eyebrow at Tony's attempt to boost Tim's confidence in his scheming, but he's just not buying it. He looks over to Ellie who only offers him a one-shouldered shrug in response.
"This is a bad idea," Tim tries again to dissuade him, but Tony is already leaning around him to get the elevator moving.
"It'll work," Tony says with a toothy grin.
"What'll work, DiNozzo?" Tim startles just as badly as Tony and Ellie when the elevator doors open to the bullpen a lot quicker than they had anticipated, Gibbs blocking the path to their desks. His glare lands briefly on each of them before finally settling on McGee. "Planning something, McGee?"
"No, boss," McGee says, the answer coming surprisingly easy. It is the truth after all.
He isn't planning anything at all.
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Surprisingly, the day passed with little fanfare. The team hadn't been assigned an active case since Gibbs announced his retirement eleven days ago, so most days were like this one… filled with paperwork and checking up on cold cases. Occasionally Gibbs and Tony would meet to go over finer details and arrangements, both wishing to ensure a successful transition for the senior agent into the team leadership role.
Tony and Ellie had both been able to slip away from the bullpen at various times throughout the day, apparently without arousing suspicion from Gibbs. Tim had not been so lucky. Each time he got up to do anything, Gibbs eyed him with such intensity that Tim was certain his mind was being read.
"Where you going, McGee?"
"Uh, the bathroom."
The difficulties came when Tim actually had to do something related to the party. There was a card being passed around the office, and all of the agents were affixing their names and adding concise farewells. Somehow Tim ended up being the second-to-last person to sign… the Director's signature was the last that was needed. He had barely scooted his chair back from his desk before Gibbs' eyes were snapping up to him.
"Where you off to?"
"I need to see the director."
Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "What for?"
"Paperwork," Tim said, gesturing to the manila folder in his hands, the Hallmark card secretly tucked within. Technically, Tim was telling the truth, so he felt relatively calm under Gibbs' patented heated gaze. Internally, Tim was freaking out, hoping that his boss wouldn't ask for more details, or even worse, ask to see the so-called paperwork. After a moment, however, Gibbs seemed satisfied with Tim's answer and nodded. Tim tried to keep his gait as normal as possible as he passed Gibbs' desk and climbed the stairs.
And then later, when Abby had called him to request his help, Tim was sure to carefully answer each question Gibbs tossed his way.
"Heading out again, McGee?"
"I'm off to see Abby, boss."
"What for?"
"She needs my help setting up a computer program." Gibbs raised his eyebrows and continued to stare at Tim, who understood the unspoken command to elaborate. "It's, uh, a program that will create an interconnection between an auxiliary power source and the mainframe terminal. I'm hoping that I can manufacture a passive component that will trigger a pre-set circuit once the appropriate direction is given, in this case when you, I mean, well actually a person, enters a predetermined-"
"Nevermind, McGee," Gibbs mumbled as he waved vaguely at Tim in dismissal.
Tim allows a small smile at that little victory. Gibbs may not have been aware of it, but what Tim had explained was truly his goal: to hook up Abby's computer to the electrical system to simultaneously turn on the lights, as well as blare "Take This Job and Shove It" from the speakers the minute Gibbs walked through the door. He just chose his words very carefully and used much more than was actually needed.
He absently wonders if Gibbs is aware how often Tim has used technobabble to get out from underneath his boss' scrutiny over the years. He supposes it doesn't really matter now, considering the small number of days the two of them have left to work together. The thought brings a pang to his chest and he quickly looks over the top of his monitor to sneak a look at his boss.
It turns out Tony is right. The party really isn't for Gibbs. Tim wants a chance to say thank you – and goodbye – to his mentor. And he knows he isn't the only one who will need the same type of closure.
"Everybody head home," Gibbs suddenly orders and Tim quickly flicks his eyes back down to his keyboard before his boss catches him staring. "We'll finish things up tomorrow."
"Don't need to tell me twice," Tony declares loudly. He gives Tim a wink before he leaves behind Ellie, who turns and gives Tim a small wave and a smile.
Tim sighs and looks back up to Gibbs. He needs to give Tony and Ellie a minute or two to get down to the lab before somehow getting Gibbs to follow him down there. This was something else Tony had been right about… Gibbs had seemed to zero in on Tim all day, asking him pointed questions and looking for any sign of Tim's normal tells that his responses were less than truthful.
Miraculously, Tim thinks he's been able to successfully both keep Gibbs attention on him all day and prevent him from figuring out what's been happening down in Abby's lab. And he hadn't needed to tell a single lie.
A feat that he fears may be ending within the next few moments.
"Boss?" Tim asks with some hesitance. This is the part he's been dreading all day.
"Yeah Tim?"
Tim is surprised at the rare use of his first name and finds that it throws him for a minute. Shaking his head, he looks back at Gibbs to see the older man smirking at him. Swallowing, Tim moves around his own desk to stand before him.
"I was hoping I could show you that computer program? Uh, before you head home tonight?" Tim holds his breath as Gibbs stares at him some more and he fights not to fidget and ruin everything. Especially after he was able to get through the entire day…
"Okay," Gibbs says as he stands up behind his desk.
"Okay?" Tim blinks. Well… that was easy. "Uh, okay. Good."
Gibbs' smirk grows once the two of them are in the elevator, and as it slowly descends, something finally clicks for Tim.
"You know about the party," he says, and it isn't a question. Gibbs is fully smiling now and he reaches out to stop the elevator before it can reach its destination.
"I know about the party," he confirms and Tim drops his head so his chin is resting against his chest.
"How?" he asks, dejected. He was so sure he'd done so well! But of course he can't hide anything from Gibbs… he never could.
"DiNozzo," Gibbs says quietly and Tim's head shoots up in confusion. Gibbs is flat out grinning now. "He was too damn obvious, sneaking off all the time with the worst excuses I've ever heard. But you, Tim… I tried to get you to let something slip all day, but you were too good. Maybe I should tell Tony to start sending you on more undercover missions after I'm gone."
"Uh, no thanks, boss," Tim says, and he refuses to admit that he's actually blushing over the light praise. Then, remembering Gibbs' initial rejection of a retirement party, he suddenly becomes a little nervous about what he's ultimately leading Gibbs into. "You aren't… mad?"
Gibbs laughs, and Tim finds the whole situation a bit unnerving. "Of course I'm not mad. But if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that the one way to get something you don't want is to tell DiNozzo you don't want it."
Tim frowns in confusion. "So… you wanted a party?"
"No, but DiNozzo did," Gibbs says fondly. "And you did too."
Tim shrugs, not ready to voice everything he's been feeling since Gibbs proclaimed his intention to retire. Gibbs must sense some of his inner turmoil because soon enough the elevator is moving again and a warm hand is placed on his shoulder.
"Let's not keep everyone waiting. Abby's lab, right?"
Tim nods and they finish the short journey in silence. When the doors open, Tim suddenly steps in front of Gibbs, halting them both.
"I didn't actually lie to you today, you know," Tim quickly explains because for some reason, he feels like it's important that his boss understand that one of their final days working together wasn't spent shrouded in dishonesty, no matter the reasons behind it.
The hand is back on his shoulder and Gibbs gives it a small squeeze before turning Tim around towards Abby's lab. They cross the threshold together, Johnny Paycheck's lyrics drowning out any verbal reply that Gibbs might have had, but the smile Tim receives is comfort enough.
The end.