Story: Broken Pieces
Summary: Puck needs him to know...to understand. He can't lose him.
Rating/Warnings: T- angst, brief mention of sex between two males.
Disclaimer: I don't anything Glee related and the song is It Will Rain by Bruno Mars (yes, I know it's the new Twilight theme, but the song is beautifully heartbreaking).
A/N: Totally angsty and not nearly smutty enough (then again all my song fics are like that). I will get back to the regularly scheduled smut soon, promise. Also, unbetaed and I've been up all night. Excuse any mistakes.
Regular font is present, italics is flashbacks, bold is song lyrics sung by Puck.
"Mr. Shue," Puck says, sitting in the front row of the choir room. "I have a song I would like to sing."
Everyone turns their head to look at the self-proclaimed badass, who has only willing sang in Glee to serenade a girl, except for the thin countertenor sitting in the back. His eyes are focused on his phone, but his back is straight and there's a frown on his face. "Sure, of course Puck."
Puck stands in front of the club, guitar in hand, and looks up at them. Memories assault him as he stands there, barely controlling the pain he is in.
"I don't know what I did."
"You didn't do anything Hummel. Blaine's just..." Puck can't say he's an ass, because he's really the most charming guy in existence and Kurt knows that.
"Blaine's just perfect and I'm not." Tears fall down Kurt's pale cheeks and he hugs his arms around his knees.
Puck leans forward and places a hand on the crying boy's arm. "No one is perfect Kurt and some times relationship don't work out."
"I feel like my heart's breaking," Kurt sobs.
"Yeah, I know." He hadn't meant to be the person to comfort Kurt, but Finn called and said that Blaine had dumped Kurt and no one else was here and what the hell was he supposed to say. And of course, Puck knew the worst thing in the world would be to let Hudson try to comfort someone. "It will heal, it just takes time."
"I don't want it to take time," Kurt screams! "I want to forget he ever existed. I want to wipe away everything."
"No you don't" Puck whispers, moving to sit next to the boy on the bed. "I know that it feels like that now, but someday soon you'll think back and remember the good times. You never forget your first love Kurt."
"Who was your first love?"
Puck looks away from the crying boy beside him and over to the blank wall in front of the bed. "Quinn," he whispers. "And Beth." He doesn't talk about his daughter, ever, and he's not sure why he said anything to Kurt about it.
Kurt looks over at the tall boy beside him. "Do you regret it?"
"It wasn't my choice," he says softly. "I..." his voice cracks and he wants to run from the room. The hell with comforting Hummel if comes at this price.
Kurt lays a hand on Puck's arm next to him. "I'm sorry, you don't have to talk about it." Kurt's eyes flicker over Puck's face. "Why are you here Puck?"
"Because Finn's the worst person in the world at comforting someone and first break-ups are always this bad."
"I want it to get better Puck," Kurt whispers. "I want to be strong. I've been brave before, right?"
Puck looks over and catches Kurt's eyes. "You are the bravest person I know," he says and he means every word. "You stood up for as long as you could, right up until the moment it got dangerous. But love, it's not the same as fighting against bullies. Love sinks in, bone deep, and when you have to give that up...it's like your whole body dies with the relationship. No one can be strong through that Kurt, no one."
"Thanks for coming over Noah," Kurt whispers.
"I guess, I should start this by explaining something. I've been an ass. Most of you probably aren't very surprised by that. But, I met someone who looked past all this shit, past the reputation and the image. That person saw me for who I really was, Noah and not Puck." Santana looks up with a confused expression and Quinn's stopped filing her nails and waits for Puck's next words. "I fell in love, and I really fucked it up. I told someone one time, that love is bone deep. And the love I feel, it's that kind of love."
"Who are you talking about?" The question comes from Rachel, who's sitting on Finn's right and watching Puck with a strange expression.
"I just need to sing," Puck says. "I just need to sing this song and I just need this person to understand I mean every word."
The Glee club looks around at each other, everyone looking confused. Kurt plays along because he doesn't want anyone to know. He wants to leave, run from the room, but it would give everything away. And Puck knew that. Music softly starts playing from behind Puck and it's a melody so soft that it brings memories back like a tidal wave.
The music floating through the room is soft, just a piano and a violin. It soothes Kurt, makes him relaxed and feel free. He twirls around the room by himself, swaying softly to the music. "What are you doing?"
He turns to the door at the sound of Puck's voice. "What are you doing?"
"I came to make sure you were alright. It's been three weeks since the break-up and I haven't heard anything from you or Hudson." Puck leans against the doorframe, watching the slender boy who's rooted on the spot in the middle of the room.
Kurt looks over at the jock. "I'm fine," he says.
"You aren't," Puck whispers. "You wouldn't be listening to sad music if you were okay."
"It's not sad," Kurt says softly. "It's relaxing. And okay...yes I admit that Blaine and I used to play this and dance around the room together, but that does not prove your point."
"You cannot do this to yourself," Puck says, stepping further into the room. "Don't dwell."
"You were the one who told me that I didn't want to forget, that I would look back on the happy times." Kurt's eyes dart around the room, avoiding the boy moving closer to him.
Puck stops in front of Kurt, just an arm's length away. "I did," he whispers. "But that's a long way away. Right now, what you are doing is dwelling on the relationship and wishing it would come back. He's not coming back Kurt."
"You don't know that," Kurt says in a weak voice.
Stepping closer, Puck places a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I do know that, and so do you."
It breaks Kurt's resolve and he crumbles into Puck's chest, crying hard. "I..."
"I know," Puck whispers. He wraps his hands around Kurt's waist and holds him, stroking softly up the thin boy's spine. "I know it hurts Kurt."
"I feel like I can't breath," Kurt sobs. "I don't know what to do without him. He made me love him, made me hope for things I had resigned myself to never knowing until after I got out of Ohio. How can I go back? How can I go back to being all alone?"
"You aren't alone," Puck says, holding the boy tighter. "I'm right here if you need me."
Kurt looks up from Puck's chest. His eyes are red around the edges from crying but they are the bluest Puck's ever seen. He can't help staring down, getting lost in them. "Why are you here?"
"Because you don't deserve this kind of pain," he whispers. Each boy starts to move to the music, swaying softly in the room. "I like you Kurt."
"Like me how?" Kurt pulls away from Puck, waiting.
Puck looks at the boy and is reminded of all the dreams he's been having since that first night Blaine broke up with Kurt. "I don't know," he admits. "I want to help you, protect you. I want you to be happy. I want to make sure you never cry again. I can't stop thinking about you."
"Noah...I..." Kurt's sentence is broke off when Puck leans in, kissing Kurt's lips softly. The boy responds, cupping the back of the taller boy's neck and pulling him down for a deeper kiss. They break away breathless, both having moved until they are flush together. "I'll only hurt you Noah. I still love Blaine."
"I know you do," Puck whispers. "I just want to make it better. You said you wanted to forget, I can help you do that, at least for a little while. Dance with me?" There's a look in Puck's eyes that both intrigues and terrifies Kurt. But he wants something more than pain. He steps into the embrace and lets the other boy lead him around the room.
Puck stands in the middle of the room, strumming his guitar. Once he starts singing, the whole room quiets at the sound of emotion coming through Puck's voice.
If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore
"What is this?" Kurt asks from where he's laying in Puck's arms on his bed.
"Comfort," Puck whispers in Kurt's ear. He won't admit he wants more or how afraid he is that this will end as quickly as it started.
There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin' out the door
Quinn's looking at Puck with wide eyes, tears forming in the corners. Santana is holding Brittany's hand and both girls are watching Puck with curious expressions. Finn is fidgeting and Rachel's attention keeps moving from Puck's performance to the uncomfortable boy at her side. Tina and Mike are sitting in the back, opposite Kurt, holding hands. Mercedes turns to Kurt, who is sitting very still and a cold mask on his face. Artie grabs his bass and begins to play along with the band.
"Puck, please..." Kurt whines, arching his back off the bed.
Puck leans down, cupping Kurt's face and kissing him softly. His hips slow down, matching the pace of the kiss until Kurt is breaking away with a moan. "Be mine," Puck whispers.
"What?" Kurt looks up, his hand still gripping Puck's bicep.
"Be mine, be my boyfriend. Please Kurt, can't you feel it?" He moves his hips again, rolling them deep inside Kurt.
Kurt's eyes fill with tears and he reaches up, cupping Puck's cheek. "Do you know what this will mean?"
"I don't care," Puck says, stilling his hips and looking down into the blue eyes of the boy beneath him. "I'd give up more than a stupid reputation for you Kurt. Please?"
Kurt leans up, kissing Puck and moving his hips to start the other boy moving. "Yes," he says breathlessly when he pulls away from the kiss.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
He can feel tears stinging his eyes and he pushes through, refusing to hide them. Refusing to hide anything. Kurt's still looking everywhere but him, refusing to let the words sink in. Quinn and Rachel are tearing up and Brittany is whispering to Santana. Puck almost falters with the thought that this might not work.
I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy
"What the hell do you mean you are dating Puckerman?" Burt says in a harsh voice.
Kurt had foreseen this, inviting Puck over once Carol and Finn were out of the house. "It means what it means Dad."
Burt won't even look over at the tall boy standing beside his son. "I know the break-up..."
"Stop Dad," Kurt says. "This has nothing to do with what happened with Blaine." It's not exactly the truth, but Burt doesn't need to know what.
"This is Puckerman," Burt says harshly, "the boy who nailed all our lawn furniture to the roof. He's nothing but trouble Kurt."
"He's different now Dad," Kurt says. "Everyone deserves a second chance, even Noah."
Puck steps forward and even though Burt won't look at him, he speaks. "I know what you are thinking Mr. Hummel. I know I'm not good enough for Kurt. If I was you...if it was my son or daughter standing with a guy like me, I'd be pissed too. I won't hurt him."
"Yes you will," Burt hisses. "You'll crush him worse than Blaine ever did. Kurt..."
"You can't tell me who I can and cannot date Dad." Kurt pulls Puck's hand, dragging him out of the house. Puck can tell by the tears that Kurt's more upset about his father not approving than he lets on.
But they're just afraid of something they can't understand
Oooh well little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine
"Can I talk to you for a second Mr. Hummel?" Puck enters the garage and stands a good distance away from the man.
"Go away," the older man says from where he's working on an engine.
"With all due respect sir, I can't do that." Puck steps a little closer. "I love your son Mr. Hummel."
Burt looks up, dropping the rag he was holding. "Are you insane?"
"Probably," Puck says with a smile. "He's a total diva and he's way too good for me. But he looks past all the things I've done in my past, past the reputation and the walls I built around me. He sees me for me. I'm not saying he feels the same way, I'm not even sure he knows I feel so strongly for him. He makes me happy and I'd do anything, everything, just to make sure he's happy too. I've seen him broke into pieces Mr. Hummel, and I'd never want to be the cause of that." Puck looks down at the floor. "He won't say it, but he's upset that you don't approve. He loves you very much, he craves your approval of this. And I know, I'm not worth him. But I'm trying to be."
Burt takes a step forward and the movement makes Puck look up. "My son means everything to me," Burt says, "and what Blaine did to him made me so angry. I guess I never thought I would have to deal with Kurt going through break-ups. If you mean what you say, and it looks like you do, then be at dinner tonight at six."
"Thank you sir," Puck says. It's worth laying his heart out to a very scary man when he sees the huge smile on Kurt's face when they all sit down for dinner that night.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
Don't just say, goodbye
Don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right
Puck's sure he's crying now, if Santana's shocked expression is anything to go by. He's making slight progress, Kurt's watching him now. He can't hold Kurt's eyes for too long, afraid of breaking down and sobbing. He keeps playing, keeps singing, and hopes that this doesn't end with his heart breaking on the floor.
"You said you didn't care!"
"I don't care Kurt, I'm just saying that we should be a little careful at the beginning. We don't want to give anyone a reason to fight." Puck runs his hand through his mohawk in frustration.
Kurt cocks his hip. "They are going to fight whether or not we are open now or in three months. I told you, this isn't going to be easy. They'll hate you for it."
"Can't you give me a month," Puck asks?
"A month of you hiding behind your reputation? Flirting with Cheerios and talking smack about all the ass you got over the summer? Wouldn't want them finding out is was boy's ass you'd been fucking." Kurt hisses the words out and turns his back on Puck.
"Don't do this Kurt, that isn't what this is about."
"This is about you being a coward," Kurt yells. He's sure the rest of his family can hear them now. "You promised me you wouldn't do this."
"I just need time," Puck says. "I don't understand why you won't be reasonable."
Kurt scoffs. "You say a month, then you'll say another month, than another. Next thing you know, I'll be your secret fuck behind closed doors and you'll have a girlfriend walking around the halls to keep that stud reputation you have. I won't let you push me back into the closet Puckerman."
"Kurt, that won't happen. I love..."
"Don't you dare say that," Kurt hisses. "Don't you dare say something like that when you won't even walk down the hall with me. Go to hell Puck, get the fuck out of my house and leave."
"Kurt..."
"Leave Puck, and don't come back."
Emotions pour out of Puck and he stumbles on the last word, his voice cracking. He can't look up, can't face Kurt's cold mask of indifference to this. Everything in him says that Kurt will never forgive him, will never love him. He should have known from the beginning, he did know, that he wasn't worth Kurt.
Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...
The song ends, the music trailing off, and Puck's left with nothing but tears and pain. He looks up, avoiding Kurt's section, and sees the whole club crying. "Puck..."
"His name is Noah," Kurt whispers out. The club turns, everyone's eyes on the small boy in the corner, tears streaming out of his eyes.
"Kurt?" The question comes from Rachel and when Kurt says nothing, she catches Finn ducking his head. "Finn?"
Finn looks over at Puck, who's staring at the floor. "Kurt...look at him. Just...forget everything and look with your heart."
It's a toss up, between the shock of Kurt being the recipient of Puck's song or Finn's strangely and out of character support. Kurt looks up at the same time Puck does and their eyes meet. Raw emotion passes between that gaze and Kurt's moving before he can stop himself. "Noah..."
"I'm sorry," Puck says brokenly. "I'm sorry I was scared. You were right, I was a coward. You are so brave and I...I didn't think I could do it. But I'd face anything as long as I have you. Without you, it's like the color drains out of the world. I love you Kurt."
Kurt reaches up, cupping Puck's cheek and crying softly. "I love you too Noah," he whispers before reaching up and kissing him.
Everyone behind them sits shocked, still and barely breathing. When the two boys pull away, Artie starts clapping. Slowly, the rest of the club joins in. "Your song was beautiful," Mr. Shue says.
"It really was," Kurt whispers and kisses Puck again. Puck's not afraid; not afraid of walking down the halls, not afraid of taking Kurt out, he's not afraid of anything. All he knows now is how much he loves the boy in his arms and how he'd give up everything just to keep him happy and with him.