Author's Note: This is my first Mass Effect Fanfiction. I always wondered what would happen once they found Shepard and I always wondered if Kaiden was the right choice even though I made it the first time. But I know once I had Garrus, I couldn't pick anyone else for my Shepard. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Things end.

Everything was supposed to be worth it. In the end.

But the world now tastes like ashes. The planets are stranded alone. The galaxy at a halt. The peoples of the universe paused. Breath held, they all wait – what now?

XXXX

I wait for the doctor to start speaking. My lip was constantly being chipped away until I knew my teeth would draw blood. He had to speak before that. I had tasted too much of my blood already.

"It's permanent; I'm sorry."

The gust of air bursting from lungs wasn't my own. I finally tasted the metal tang of my flesh giving way under my teeth and it was over. The anticipation, the fear, the regret. It was all gone. Taking a deep breath, I turned to glance at the man who was breaking bones that had barely had time to repair. "You can let go now."

Dark chocolate colored eyes widened before my aching hand was released and he let out another shuddering breath. "Sorry."

Seems like that is all they were saying to me these days. Rubbing the sore muscles in my hand, I looked down at the contrast. So many people take limbs for granted. I had already lost a lot to spare parts. But no one prepares you for losing a limb. No one prepared me. But like all veterans, they apologetic reverence they offer you, is not a replacement. It just means you're done.

Sarah Shepard, the Butcher of Torphan, Savior of the Citadel and Vanquisher of the Reapers is done.

The doctors leave, Kaiden leaves, but the ghost movement stays. There's little left of my right side; arm gone from the bicep down, leg gone from the hip down. A great big chunk of my ribs had to be augmented with metal. I think there's a kidney missing there too. I can't tell, I forget sometimes.

Most of all, it means the soldier is gone.

It makes me wonder if I was ever anything else. It makes me wonder if the saved world would be enough. Would half of me, be enough?

"Shepard?"

Head snapping up, I saw the blue form of my closest friends smile tremulously from the doorway to my room. They had finally made it back. In the months that bordered a year, my crew had finally made it back to me. I scoffed inwardly as Liara steped into the little hospital room. The Alliance crew had found me underneath rubble that had tried to snuff me out, but thanks to my Cerberus implants, it had failed. Almost. A tiny, fatalistic part of me, wished it hadn't.

"Kaiden is gone?"

I sighed and snuggled lower into my pillow. "I'm trying to be sad about that."

The Asari now turned Shadow Broker laughed and took the seat my boyfriend had abandoned. Abandoned – that was the worst way to say it, I realized. "He really is trying to be supportive. But they're shipping him out in a week. He hoped you'd be able to go with him. Two Spectors out to save the galaxy, hand in hand."

Quirking an eyebrow and one corner of my mouth, I teased my friend. "Been watching those soap operas on TV again T'Soni?"

The Asari blushed a pretty violet. "Guilty as charged. Being on earth, there is little in the way of live television what with the restoration effort taking everyone's time. Reruns are our only entertainment I'm afraid."

I wanted to ask. Everyone else had left. Why was she still here? They'd all hugged me and kissed me and promised to write, but worlds had to be rebuilt. Lives had to be given purpose. There was so much damage. Thessia had suffered just as much, so why was the most prominent Asari member of their race still lurking around my hospital bed in London?

We were silent for a moment, just watching the other and wondering when to spring each of our questions. She finally slumped and let out a deep sigh. "Just ask Shepard."

"Why are you still here?"

Looking a tad appalled and more hurt, Liara sat up straight and took my remaining hand gently. "I would never abandon you." She must have seen the muscle in my jaw tighten before she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "No one has."

"I'm useless to you now."

"How dare you." Mouth dropping open, her eyes flashed with fierce reprimand as her voice pitched low with fury. "You have saved all our asses so many times over Shepard that even the Shadow Broker can't keep track! Do you really think us so ungrateful after you are done saving us all, yet again?!"

I frowned. "I didn't mean it as an insult."

"Then you had better take it back!"

Rolling my eyes at the incensed demand, I squeezed her hand. "Relax Blue. I'm just cathartic."

"Well, I wish you would perform catharsis a bit more positively," Liara grumbled, a tad assuaged. "And do not call me that idiotic name. What if I called you beige?"

"I'm honey glazed."

Her laughter lightened the room and we finally smiled at each other. She took a moment to speak but when she did, she sealed my fate with her words. "Shepard, I didn't abandon you when you were nothing but a charred bag of bones and I will never abandon you now that you finally have the chance to see all that you have accomplished. I didn't give your body to Cerberus so that you could save the world. I gave you to Cerberus so that you could live the fruits of your labor one day. With the people who love you." She reached out and touched my cheek bone with reverence. "And we all love you. We have not abandoned you."

My eye narrowed as I felt the unsaid darting excitedly in her eyes. "What have you done?"

The door swished open behind her and I watched my favorite Turian rakishly lean against my hospital door. "Are we done lamenting our tragedies? Because Miranda is spitting fiery projectiles at me for fun now."

Miranda was here too. I stared at Garrus Vakarian as he matched Liara's mirthful glint in his blue eyes. "What the hell have you done?"

...To be Continued…