Disclaimer- If I owned Harry Potter Snape wouldn't have died while everyone hated him.
N.B. Set after the last chapter in DH but before '19 Years Later'.
Dear Reader,
I've felt my heart break four times in my life. They were always to do with her, my flower, my Lily. Except she was never really mine.
We were good friends but that all changed when Potter arrived on the scene. She said she hated him but I knew differently. Her bright green eyes always followed him across the room, his always connected moments later. They were soul mates, anyone could see that.
I thought that I'd died when she told me that she and Potter were dating. His hands all over my Lily – that wasn't on. I started on him the next day but all it earned me was detention. The next time she saw me it wasn't compassion I saw in her eyes but loathing. Potter had to go to the hospital wing after my next encounter with him. You would think that I would be able top see that I was pushing her away.
I was 19 when a letter came through my door in her delicate hand. I was ecstatic, was she telling me that she had left Potter? Of course not. The letter explained that she was sorry for the way our friendship had broken down at school and that she wanted to renew it at her wedding to James. I felt as small as a first year and as stupid as a flobberworm. Why would she want anything to do with me romantically? After many firewhiskeys my heart still hurt, I wanted to call a doctor but how would that help?
I pleaded with him not to let her die. She was my world, as his most trusted death eater how could he refuse me? He did though. When Mc Nair told me of her death it felt like a place within me had become hollow. I had tried but not hard enough. It was then that I decided to help her son. I had failed my flower once but it wouldn't happen again.
His first day at school. Had he made friends? What house would he be in? Maybe mine. I was so excited, finally my chance to put things right. I had forgotten one crucial thing. Lily would have had the child with James. This only entered my mind when he entered the great hall. He was the spitting image of James. I wouldn't help James' son, no way. Disappointment rose in my throat and I felt that painful twang in my heart again. It should have been my child.
I'm the new headmaster of Hogwarts now; in fact I leave in half an hour. I'd better start packing. I just want you to know, whoever you are, that all I do I do for her. Also that if I have learnt one thing in my life it is this, love hurts. It hurts so badly that you think you will die but it can also bring lives into the light. I couldn't be happy but you can. I beg of you to remember this, it is my dying wish. Thank you.
Severus Snape
As the young boy read the letter he decided to take the advice and remember. Harry Potter rose to his feet, left Spinner's End and promptly apparated to The Burrow. He had a certain redhead to kiss goodnight.
A review a day, keeps the doctor away-unless its David Tennant.