Title: Must Be Something in the Juice
Rating: PG
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Barney/Robin, Ted
Summary: Before Barney and Robin are about to spill the beans about a little something to someone, they argue about a glass and its contents.
Note: Wrote this as a request for someone over at LJ, thought I might archive it over here on this site, and share with more people . Hope you enjoy.
"Barney, what are you doing?"
"What? Me? Nothing. Pssh, why, what do you think I'm doing?"
"I think you're doing what I think you're doing."
"What? Serving my best friend some cranberry juice? Is that a crime now? Should I alert the coast guard to get me a boat ready as I prepare to flee the country? He and I go way back, you know."
Robin rolled her eyes, and with her hands on her waist, strolled up to Barney.
"Give me the cup, Barney."
"No! This is for Ted, and only he will get to taste the deliciousness of a cup filled with cranberry juice by his one, his only best friend that has been deemed awesome by every grand authority figure in all seven continents of the world. True story."
"Barney--hand me the juice."
Robin extended her arm to reach for the cup, but Barney raised it over his head, a little out of reach for Robin. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her tongue, cocked an eyebrow, and stood toe to toe with him.
Moving in her head next to Barney, she rested one hand right above his ribcage, and in a low voice whispered, "you sure you want to challenge me, Stinson?"
She watched him closely as he shifted his body so their knees knocked together, and his upper lip touched the base of her right earlobe.
"I'll blow you right out of the water, Sherbatsky, and you know it."
She bit her bottom lip and raised her eyes to meet his, but thankfully before she could be completely enveloped in them, they heard the from door open and shut.
Robin quickly stepped away from Barney and nervously ran a hand through her hair as Barney simply brought his arm down and smirked at her. She rolled her eyes at him again and turned her head to glance out at the living room, but apparently the person who had come through didn't realize she and Barney were in the kitchen and simply retreated to his room.
"Barney, do not give Ted that cup--I know you spiked it."
"Relax Robin, it's just some juice, couldn't do anyone a little harm."
"Right, so you don't just want to give it to him so he can relax when we tell him that we--"
"Ah, ah. Robin, do really want to waste your energy fighting with me? Please, we know how this is going to end."
"Well if you really want this to end…"
Her voice rose a level as Barney kept irking her. She usually was so good at keeping calm whenever he attempted to get under her skin, but what they were about to do already had her stressed and him keeping with his shenanigans sure wasn't helping the situation.
"Geez Robin, take a chill pill. It's not like I'm drugging him."
"Then why don't you give me the damn cup!"
"Whoa, Barney just give her the cup before she completely freaks," Ted laughed as he walked into the kitchen.
Robin's eyes went wide as she sent Barney a frantic expression. He gave her a blank expression, shrugged, and marched over to Ted who walked towards the refrigerator.
"Hey, bro, " Barney greeted him.
"Barney. What's up?"
"Oh nothing much--want some cranberry juice?"
"Uh…sure, why not. If Robin doesn't mind--she sure seems attached to the cup," he gave her a sly smile.
"Of course I mind!" she quickly intercepted Barney from handing him the glass.
"Wha--hey! You're not even going to drink that!" Barney pouted.
"Um, yes. Yes I am," she smiled nervously, eyed the glass, brought it to her lips, and smelled it before taking the drink. There was definitely something else in there, some alcohol that heavily outweighed however much cranberry juice actually was there. She winced as she downed the drink quickly, and she had to gather herself a bit before opening her eyes, even had to rest against the kitchen counter.
"See," she paused as she shook her head," all gone."
Ted looked at her suspiciously, then at Barney who would not stop staring at him.
"Okay you guys, what's going on?"
Simultaneously, Barney and Robin began sputtering and scoffing at his question.
"What? Nothing's going…"
"Who says something--hey is that a new shirt?"
"Can't a guy's best friend, best bro just come over to say hey--"
"I was just bored and, and--"
"Stop! Now somebody tell me why you two are actually here," Ted finally had enough of the nervous glances, nonsensical protests, and them in general.
Barney placed his hand on Ted's shoulder and said," Bro, you should sit down."
As she twisted her hands, Robin agreed with Barney and reiterated that he should sit down.
"I'm good here."
Sighing, Robin slowly walked over to Ted, stood directly in front of him, caught his gaze, then looked down wearily as she tried forming the right words.
As she brought her head back up though, with her mouth parting to speak, Barney just came out with it.
"Robin's in love with me."
"What!" Robin and Ted screamed at once.
"That's ridiculous!" Ted laughed.
"That's not how we were going to tell him!" Robin followed, only to recognize how Ted had responded. Switching her attention from Barney to Ted, she felt the mixture of anger and frustration wash over as she watched Ted's expression go from amusement to plain confusion at what was playing out in front of him.
"Why is it ridiculous?" she asked in a whisper, trying to not overreact.
"I--Robin, it's Barney. You know, the guy who pretends to be anyone, does anything in order to sleep with women, who's completely against monogamy."
"Aw, those were the days," Barney sighed and looked up as if remembering 'those days.' Robin ignored him because it was far from out of character for Barney to remember what he had been like--mostly because it was something they still worked on from time to time.
"But wait, was he serious?" Ted's brows furrowed and he took a step back, completely in disbelief.
"Yes Ted, he was serious. Why you find it ridiculous, I don't know?! But what he said, yeah he wasn't lying. And he…well we are working on this relationship thing, kind of. Together. But listen, it hasn't been long."
"Two months," Barney interceded.
"Two months?! And you two didn't tell me!"
"Ted, most of the time, we weren't even together. We were just figuring things out, and we wanted to make sure we were actually serious about giving this a go before coming to you."
"So what? You want my blessing?"
"No!"
"Yes!" Barney exclaimed excitedly.
He moved in front of Robin so he could be head to head with Ted, placed each hand on Ted's shoulders, and smiled.
"You give us our blessing or whatever you call it, and the Bro Code will remain preserved! And you know, Robin will finally chill about this and just have fun."
Ted glanced up at her. She did look completely worried, almost afraid, but she had also reacted strongly when he declared the notion of her loving Barney ridiculous.
"I'm not going to give you guys my blessing," he paused, watching his friends slowly retreat, but added," you don't need it. It might take me awhile to get used to it, but…if you two are sure this is what you want, then fine. I'm cool."
Their eyes snapped to his, and each felt a weight lifted off their shoulders.
Barney didn't hesitate to hug him, or rather squeeze him, and when Robin managed to pry Barney's hands off Ted, she gave him a hug as well.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Yeah," he smiled softly.
He never would have guessed it, but in a way, Robin and Barney made sense, and if anything, the anxiety and relief that Robin expressed in those minutes she and Barney told him about them, proved that this was something worth pursuing. And who was he to stop a chase that entailed love or something of the like when he had been the epitome of pursuing love for the past few years?
"Hey, who wants some cranberry juice!" Barney rubbed his hands together and smiled at the two.
"Barney," Robin chastised him.
Perplexed, Ted asked," Am I missing something?"