Hinata woke up suddenly, her heart aching and her eyes watering, as she scanned her dark, empty room. Her head flopped back down onto the plain white bedding that covered her bed, as she allowed the tears to desperately cascade down her pale cheeks, while she relived the heart pounding dream she had just awoken from.
Her heart swelled as images of his light hair and deep blue eyes moved through her mind. He had been waiting there, at the training grounds, just like he had that first day. He had watched as the other shinobi finished training and slowly trailed off. He waited until she was the only one left on the lush green training ground, until the last hints of pink disappeared from the sky and only the stars colored the dark summer sky. She remembered clearly as she finished training, her light purple sweater was drenched in sweat and her long black hair was a mess, he sat there. His eyes twinkling in the moonlight and a wide smile gracing his face. Before she had time to leave, he wordlessly motioned her to take a seat next to him, to gaze at the stars with him.
Her heart beat hard within her chest, as she took her place next to him and looked up at the sky, almost as if she belonged there. She couldn't remember how long they had sat there, just looking up at the stars, before he finally spoke, but when he did it wasn't about anything grand or important, it was just him...Naruto Uzumaki...making conversation with her...Hinata Hyuga.
Every once in awhile he would flash her a heart warming smile and play with the pieces of grass growing around them, as Hinata listened to him, braving to speak every once in while, she cradled her knees in her arms and nervously wiggled her feet underneath his warm legs. They spent most of the night, huddled close together, just like this, until hints of pink began to peek over the horizon. When they finally parted ways, Hinata's steps were light and her heart beat fast and slow. She wasn't his, but they were definitely friends.
Hinata didn't sleep at all that day, and when she arrived at the training grounds later that day, he was there. She gave him a bashful look as she took up her training with her teammates, and he watched. He watched as she blocked a shower of kunai and as Kiba attacked her with his gravity defying attack, fang over fang. He continued to watch until the bright summer sun began to descend in the sky, and the light training ground was overcome in darkness. Once again, Naruto watched as her teammates dispersed and it was only her once more.
Again he had motioned her to take a sit next to him on the soft grass as he absently played with the dark green blades and gazed up at the stars. Once more she nervously took her place at his side and warmed her feet under his legs as she fiddled with her fingers. Once again, they spoke about nothing important into the long hours of the night as they huddled together enjoying each others company.
Hinata felt as the wall she had protectively built began to gently fall away with every shadowed glance and open smile he sent her way. He talked to her about growing up without his parents, about the pranks he pulled in school and his love of Konoha. He asked after her, why she was so shy, why she acted weird and why she trained so hard and Hinata nervously told him about her father and her family, and about all of her weaknesses. When she finished, he gave her a reassuring grin and nudged her as he told her that she was silly, she was one of the strongest ninja he'd ever seen. Hinata smiled and averted her eyes toward the ground as the bond between them grew stronger.
He repeated this behavior night after night. Hinata would wake up in the morning and go to the training ground, where she would wait for him, distracted by her teammates. And everyday, her heart would skip when she saw his bright hair and sparkling blue eyes appear from behind a tree, or walking toward her from the village. He was the sun that brightened her day and every day she bloomed a little more.
Night after night they would share their thoughts, their hopes, their fears and their dreams with one another. And every night Hinata felt closer to those inviting eyes, confident, more secure. They would fall asleep, cuddled up next to one another, his arms strategically placed on his side, and her back facing him. Sometimes she would play with his hand, outlining his fingers and his palm lightly with her touch, as he drifted off to sleep. Then one night he rolled over, intertwining their fingers together as he held her close to him and Hinata's heart stopped as she closed her eyes and allowed her senses to become overwhelmed by his warmth, his scent, his affection.
For months it continued on like this, not quite friends, but not quite lovers. Hinata had never been so vulnerable, so open with someone before and it scared and empowered her. When he would leave on missions, or when she couldn't meet him for the night, she would think about the next time they would meet and all the times before when they had. She would revel in his scent, as it lingered on her clothes and she basked in the memory of his arms wrapped firmly around her waist. She would think about the way he always told her she was silly when she called herself weak, or thought she wasn't good enough and her heart would come alive with the anticipation of seeing him again.
Hinata remembered as the short summer nights gradually became longer, and fall turned into winter. They had continued on blurring the line between friends and lovers even more, not caring that neither of them knew what they were or what they were supposes to be, both of them just wanting to be with the other.
Then, one late night in December, as they laid together, their bodies intertwined in one another upon the hard earth, their teasing and laughing had been taken a step too far. Hinata had become too bold as she stared longingly at Naruto's red, frost bitten lips and the yearning inside her could no longer be contained.
"Your a bum." She stated. She remembered the shocked expression on his face as he tried to laugh and pretend he didn't understand what she could mean.
"You're a bum." Hinata repeated again, a bold confidence in her voice he had never heard before. Naruto chuckled out loud once more, but didn't pretend ignorance as he looked down into her large, lavendar eyes. He hesitated a moment, as he licked his lips, then without warning he lifted Hinata's face to his and sweetly pressed his lips to hers. That was it, that was all Hinata needed, every part of her body was bursting with life and her heart fueled the fire. She was so elated, so caught up in the moment, that she hardly remembered the pause, the moments hesitation he gave right before he bestowed her with a kiss.
After that night, Hinata was more alive then she had been before and she looked forward to her long meetings with Naruto more than she had when he first began waiting for her. At first, everything was fine, they continued on in the same way they had before, but then, then one night, while they cuddled underneath the night sky, she called. Naruto picked up and spoke briefly with her and when he hung up, Hinata knew.
"Are you leaving?" She asked, disappointment lining her voice.
Naruto gave her a loving smile. "Yeah, it was Sakura, her and Ino need someone to walk them home from a party."
Hinata didn't say anything, she actually didn't think anything about it. She smiled and gave him a small kiss good bye and watched as he walked away from her.
After that, things weren't the same anymore. Hinata's meetings with Naruto became more and more infrequent. She became good friends with the disappointment she felt every time she'd finish training at the grounds with Kiba and Shino, and he wasn't there. She even began to expect his absence, so when he was there, she was that much happier. The days he showed up, it was as if he'd never been gone, he would snuggle with Hinata, whisper tenderly in her ear and passionately kiss her. Sometimes he would leave early, and always for the same pink haired girl, and many times he wouldn't show up at all.
Eventually Hinata's mind began to race with thoughts of Naruto and Sakura. She became paranoid and depressed and the loving feeling she once carried with her was replaced by a dark, sinister void. Her whole body had become numb and she couldn't feel anything anymore. She couldn't take it, she had to know. So the next time she saw him she had to ask, she had to know.
She had positioned herself as far away from him as she possibly could that night, her hands fiddling with the grass. He watched and continued on as though nothing was wrong. And then...and then she asked. She looked him in the eye as she swallowed her fears and asked what she needed to know all along. "Do you love her?" Was all she managed. She vividly remembered the blank stare he gave her before he answered, there was no need to say her name, they both knew who she was speaking of. "No." He stated without hesitation. Hinata just gave him a clinical look and closed her pearl eyes. It hurt more than if he had said yes.
For the next couple months, he did not show up to see her, and she didn't try to seek him out. It didn't make her feel any better that her teammates had noticed Sakura too and they would spend practices talking of her beauty and how any guy would want her. Then they would look at Hinata as if noticing her for the first time and stutter as they tried to tell her she was pretty too, but it was no use, her eyes would well up and the pain would come freely. She couldn't get away from her...away from him.
And now here she was, alone, lying awake in the dark with tears flowing down her face. Thinking of everything they shared, everything she had, and every way she'd been hurt. Sakura's face flashed through her mind and Hinata hid her face in the pillow as she cursed her for her beauty and cursed herself for her inadequacies. If she had been more beautiful, if she had been on his team, if everything had happened sooner, than maybe it would be her, it would be her that he wanted, that he longed for, that he loved.
Hinata looked at her clock, it was early morning, nearly a year since that first night he had stayed to talk with her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and pushed herself out bed. Quietly she made her way into the bathroom and locked the door. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, as she allowed every sweet memory to surface and fade, she saved her favorites, the ones of him smiling and prodding her while he laughed and called her silly for last. Those she wanted to cherish a little longer. As the last bits of the happy days faded away, Hinata picked up her razor blade and folded back the collar of her shirt. Then she closed her eyes as she pressed the cold steel to her chest, above her heart and pulled. The pain was quick and overbearing as she quietly unwrapped a band aide and sealed the open wound.
She would never forget what he had done to her or the love she had given him and as she cleaned up the mess in the bathroom and laid back down to go to sleep, she felt lighter, freer, as if the chains bounding her to the earth had been broken. She could feel the numbness taking over her body, even as she began to fall asleep, but a smile still crept across her face. She was moving on, and she had entrusted her heart to someone who would never break it. She was comforted by one thought though, and that was the thought of Sakura's cold body lying in the ground, as Naruto painfully wept over the girl who he could never have. He had blurred that line of friendship with Hinata, but Sakura had drawn that line clear in the sand and now, Naruto would be forever bound to her side, no girl would be able to compare, and he would never be able to move on.
"Thank you, Naruto." Hinata whispered in the dark. "For giving me the chance to find myself and the strength inside me...I was silly, wasn't I?" She said with a smile.
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AN: Sorry, I know it could be better, but I got a little side tracked, please read and review anyways...maybe I'll fix it one day, but for now this is how it stays.