I'm new on this site and this is my first story... I'm not really a constantly a depressed person but we all have those days. My first story is somewhat a collection of my memories and old problems of my friends... all dark and painful...
This story is about a young girl, age 16. Sophia, a girl who was normal and content, but when one day on a camping trip with her boyfriend, they were unknowingly in bear territory and both of them got swiped by the bear unconsciously. Miraculously she lived, but her boyfriend died. She woke up, seemingly unharmed except for a headache and amnesia, she only knew words, and out of that she only knew the meaning to a fraction of the words. She woke up and wandered around for days, she ended up in a small shack. The only thing she learned is that consumption of apples made her different, she could move more and have more energy.... This is where her new story begins, and at the end of each chapter ill point out the real life problems that were the base of each chapter.
No Moon
"Apples... energy..." *Sophia occasionally mumbles a few words to listen to something, it made her feel comfortable to hear noises. She looked around, the sky was a different color then usual, it didn't make her want to close her eyes, she could look up. When she looked down around her, she noticed that there wasn't a figure attached to her feet. All the sudden a little something hit her arm gently, it created a few small versions of the first. A few more drops of the same stuff fell on her, this fazed her, but she didn't know what to make of it. She grabbed a few apples and went into the small shack, then observed the falling drops*
Stuff... is this... water? *Water... this word kept popping into her head as she watched it come from up. Sophia slowly crawled back outside and let the droplets hit her, she felt the feeling at first was similar to the feeling of the apples, it made her body feel like it could work better. She stayed outside and the droplets kept hitting her, she became wet everywhere. She moved her hand down her body to feel the water, and as she moved her hand down her chest she felt a very small part on one side of her chest that felt somewhat similar to the apple, she couldn't move it much. Wanting to know if any other parts of herself became different she kept feeling herself, and beside noticing that she had a second spot on her body that was the same texture as the first one, she also found that small pieces of her arm hair was in a different position. Nothing bad has seemed to come of this water, besides the body changes she felt alright, this led to her decision that water was like apples to her.
*The water fell at a steady pace, and as the day went on, a few more meanings would reveal themselves to Sophia: water was the name of stuff that could fall from the up and cover her body; wet was what she called herself when she would be covered in the water, hard was when she couldn't move a piece of something, and good is what became the different feeling, one that gave her energy. Water was good, and so was apples; these two things gave her energy the things that could make her move. Time rolled along, and the rain would soon become a storm* "Water... good... but... hard?" *The good thing that covered her, now started hitting her with more hardness. After letting the water hit herself she thought maybe she should go to her place of good and sleep. She crawled in her shack, her place of good, and laid on the bottom.* BOOMCRACKLE!!! *This was a noise, like her voice, but it actually made her lose some energy, the noise wasn't comfy like her voice. She sat up and wondered where it come from, then spoke random notes to make sure it wasn't her. This noise would repeat itself a few times, triggering a strange feeling to come over her, she wanted that figure that was always under her to come back, she wanted something else that was kind of like her... She was alone*
I am... alone *alone...alone...alone... this word repeated itself in her mind, all the sudden, a flashback... it was her, with another figure, she was next to him, against him. As the flashback stopped as fast as it started, a wave of meanings to words would become part of her vocabulary: a few emotions: happy, sad, and scared; and a few nouns: I, someone, something, and it. She wanted someone... happy is good, and someone is good... However this newly remembered knowledge didn't stop the rain, as it soon became harder, and scary noises happened alot more. Within those scary noises, Sophia could heard a very different noise, and it seemed like it could be coming to her, she crawled closer to the rain, even though she was scared and looked out. A small four legged creature seemed to be struggling out in the falling water*
I understand it is rather small for what I want to be a long story, I just want a few reviews on how I'm doing and whether the story seems interesting enough, I will go ahead and do the next chapter, and based on reviews I will make a few changes... As for the real life problems that were the base, I really didn't do much because no one really has much of an amnesia experience like this. However I have had friends who have lost their boyfriends, not really to bears... but ya get it. And we've all been alone before... yea I know I didn't do the best job in creating base problems in this one but I assure you the next one will have some real life problems within it. Please review ^_^ oh yea, and I go by Rejalos