Curiosity…Irritated the Leonard
(Hap/Leonard fluff)
"What's it like kissing a man?"
Leonard's eyebrow twitches in irritation, clutching his beer so tightly the knuckles strain against his flesh.
This question is nothing new; people in this backwards town truly believe a man kissing another man is a spectacle to behold, a curiosity that deserves to be bombarded with unnecessary questions and commentary, regardless that what a man does in the comfort of his home is no one's business but his own. It's coming from Hap; Leonard knows that he means well and he's truly curious. He'll humor him.
"Ain't no different than kissing a woman. Only, it's much better." He knocks back his beer.
It was a sticky evening in the middle of July; they're out on Leonard's back porch, drinking and watching the fireflies shine.
"How's it better? You got…stubble, first of all, the man's all sweaty and reeks of cologne, chances are he ain't got no dental plan…"
"You seem to know so much about kissing men for a straight one. You fooled around without me?"
"No, Leonard. You know you'll be the first man I'll ever fool around with if I ever swung that way."
"Hate to break your heart, honey. You ain't my type."
"I'm everyone's type."
"Everyone who ain't nothing but trouble."
"Come on, Leonard. Trudy was a good woman…"
"I never liked her no way no how."
"You hold grudges too much, you know that?"
"You think I care?"
"A little."
"A little my ass."
Hap chuckles.
"You never changed."
"I did. I got meaner."
The chirp of the frogs and the cool breeze of warm air washes over them. Hap scoots closer to his friend, throwing his arm over his shoulder.
"I'm curious."
"'Bout what?"
"I'm curious as to whether it is better kissing a man than kissing a woman."
"You yankin' my chain…?"
"Not at all. I want to know and I wouldn't mind if you show me."
Leonard looks at his friend in disbelief. Here comes this straight-as-an-arrow white boy he's known for practically his entire life, asking him to kiss him. This is…interesting.
"You're curious, huh?"
"Yeah."
He doesn't know if it's the liquor or his intrigue, but he'll humor him.
They kiss.
It wasn't soft, sweet, or sensual, like the many times Leonard kissed his ex-lovers, but it was quick, clean, and awkward, considering Hap's remote shock. They pull away, and Leonard sees Hap's face turn redder than normal.
"Huh," Hap grins, "It's not too bad. Never knew your lips could be so soft. But you need to shave. I don't want to kiss a cactus, you know."
Leonard hits him and makes his way into the house.
"Wait for me! You know I hate being out here in the cold by myself."
"Tell that to someone who cares. You sleeping on the couch tonight and I better not hear a goddamn word about my music tastes."