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I do not own The Addams Family. If I did... well, nevermind. I only own my OC. Enjoy!

"So... Camp Orphan, huh? How're you going to die?" I asked, deadpanned, after hearing that my mother and father had plotted against me, deciding to silence my rebellion by sending me to... summer camp. I shuddered at the thought of such a thing.

"Are you sending me to an orphan camp because you know that I feel the burning desire to spill your blood, father, mother...?" I asked, seeing the confusion on their faces.

"Not at all, son! It's just that we thought you could do something other than dissect things this summer. I mean, it is a summer camp, and every child goes to summer camp at least once in their life time!" My father replied, finally understanding what I had meant, and found it just as amusing as I, admittedly, would have, had I been in his place.

"I was planning more than just dissections, father!" I protested, "This was the summer that I was going to be preforming surgeries on living things! Living things, Father! That is a big step for me!"

"We understand, dear." My mother told me, "While we understand that, it is important for you to have this opportunity to observe how others of your age group act and communicate. It will make your future endeavors go far more smoothly!"

Mother had always known how to rationalize these things to me, and to show me the attraction I could feel for things I did not feel it imperative to do if I merely looked at it another way.

Now only one thing remained to be decided, I thought as I stood from our family table, feeling the discussion coming to a close.

"For your deceit... which of you will bleed?" I asked, before a sudden realization fell on me, "More importantly, for the moment, I must begin preparations! We have only two days to gather all the supplies I will need throughout the summer, even more so if I am going to bring true terror and fear to my... 'peers' if they can be considered that..."

Striding out the door, I motioned for my parents to follow, making a mental list of all the things that I will need. I liked to be prepared by planning and making lists. This one went something like this.

- Two cords of 30 yard nylon rope (Tending to have a stronger hold than regular rope, but doesn't cause those nice little sounds when someone struggles in it)

- One cord of 30 yard rope (Rope burn in all its original glory, I say)

- Three blindfolds in addition to three gags

- Two rolls of grey duct tape

- My dissection note book (In case I found something I had yet to dissect- or if one of the campers got on my nerves, I could always rewrite my notes on human anatomy...)

- Three standard dissection kits, all customized to my own liking (Each had two scalpels, an extra pair of fine scissors, along with some on my more... enjoyable tools)

- Clothes were a given, all black in color with little variation, aside from my bathing suit, which I assumed I would need

- Sedatives, poisons, a flame torch, a package of latex gloves, sunglasses, and a book concerning human anatomy

Setting out to retrieve these items, I made a mental note to put a mild sedative into their drinks the morning of my departure, due to their evil and deceitful nature, that I love, true, but only when it is not aimed at me.

Retribution must be dealt equally and fairly, after all...

Oh dear! In my thoughts of sweet retribution, I almost forgot to add hand grenades and laxatives to the list.

"I suppose this is the last I will be seeing of you, then, father, mother. It has been... enjoyable, to an extent. I will depart from here and head to the bus terminal, as there is no need for you to drop me off at the orphan camp." I spoke, standing from the family table, knowing that they would be unable to pursue me further thanks to the fact that the mild sedative I had given them was a quick acting one, and that they had no knowledge of me placing it into their drinks.

"Now, son, I am afraid that we will need to drop you off and sign you in. You know how those people are, after all. Either way, it is about time to go..." Father trailed off, his gaze unfocused. I smiled happily as I watched his head hit the table with a thud.

That smiled completely melted when I took note of the fact that my mother was still completely aware.

"Dear, you didn't honestly think that I was stupid enough to believe that you didn't plan your revenge, did you? Now, you truly must be going, if you would like to make your bus. I'll tend to your father, but I will not put him in the ammonia bath you had drawn for the two of us... honestly, can't you get over the Chippewa part?"

I always did love mother best, I thought, as I strode to the door, grabbing the keys to the car off the key rack. After all, I was hoping that officers would attempt to stop a fourteen year old male from joyriding. It would give me ample opportunity to test some of my more dangerous concoctions.

The drive was easy enough, equal parts to my chagrin and expectancy. My plans do tend to go smoothly quite often.

It was fortunate that we were allowed two carry-on bags, as I had all my more odd items in my two main bags, and my clothes and other such mundane items in a third that went underfoot with a tag that read my name, "Dante LaCroix".

I attempted to sleep during the five hour trip that would take me to that damnable camp, but my insomnia disallowed it. Pity, really, but insomnia was a powerful tool that I savoured the vast majority of the time. The ability to stay awake, or more so the inability to sleep for long intervals and often, gave me more time to think and plan. Planning was always important.

Also on my person, thankfully, was a book. It was a beautiful read, detailing the various torture methods I had come to love and was, at times, known to replicate. I favoured starving the poor soul, then cutting off their limbs and feeding those same limbs to them, cooked, of course. Cooking the limbs was important, you see, because one must always keep his play things feeling that they are decently taken care of until it is time to put an end to the game.

As I read, I contemplated whether or not I would truly hate this. I decided that yes, I would, but I would also use this to learn how to play mind games with others near my own age, and I doubted that there would be anyone of any true value within a thousand yards of that hellish camp. Only time will tell, I decided finally, noting that our trip was coming to a close around the time I reached the section on Japanese torture methods. Oh well, I'll continue reading later.

"In the name of all things unholy..." I muttered to myself as I walked into the camp entrance, freezing on the spot. I quickly went over a German torture method I had read about on the trip so as to retain my insanity rather than lose myself to a long, terrible bout of sanity. I hated those. Then a voice hit my ear, and I found myself smiling widely, a spark in my eye.

"Homicide." There I saw perfection in all ways. Equal parts beauty and grace match perfectly with intellect and a morbid spark in her eyes.

"Ma chère..." I muttered as I saw her drink diluted, hopefully, arsenic.

I had been listening, even if only subconsciously, to the speech of the counselors... I shuddered, but then grinned as I remembered then saying, just but a moment ago, that we should have fun. I had the perfect plan to make my presence known to that beautiful girl, I thought, as I reached into my bag and pulled out a simple flash grenade, before pulling the pin and throwing it right at the feet of those two bumbling fools.

"Let's have some fun!" I didn't shout, per se, because I am not the sort of person who shouts... what I did was merely raising my voice for the full, erm, effect.

Surprisingly enough, only four heads turned in my direction, even despite my scre- higher voice level. Lucky enough for me, however, one of those heads was that of the girl who had caught my eye. She seemed amused, and surprised. I figured I had felt and looked about the same when she had pulled out a bottle of arsenic and proceeded to drink of it.

Bowing I greeted, "Dante LaCroix, tormentor and devil, at your service, ma chère."

Following the bow, I had strode over, and noted that the other three people who had paid me mind must have been her guardians and brother, perhaps cousin.

Smirking slightly, but not to be confused with a smile mind you, she greeted me, "Wednesday Friday Addams, and it appears I was wrong about this place being no fun."

"You and I both, my dear, you and I both." Was all I said before turning to address the man that appeared to be her father.

Cut, wrap, it's done for now folks. I loved writing this first chapter, and I hope dearly that you will read it and review! Being that this isn't a Wednesday Lucas bit, I doubt many will read it, let alone stick around or review, and even more so I am convinced that few will read it because it has an OC. Please, however, if you enjoyed, let me know and review!