Rachel's arranging her files and folders alphabetically by height when someone slams her locker doors. She turns, but not before preparing herself for a slushie by Rick "the stick" Nelson. She's surprised when the person who almost sliced off her fingers is none other than…Brittany.
Rachel places her hands on her waist and starts reprimanding her.
"Brittany, I am appalled! Even you could see that I was meticulously arranging my notes! If it were not for the years I've spent in dancing, I wouldn't have had the reflexes to keep my fingers intact. Imagine what would have happened! I—"
Brittany shuts Rachel up by placing a finger to her lips.
"I see you've been making googoo eyes at my girlfriend, Berry."
Rachel's shocked. First of all, Brittany sounds a lot like Santana, and second, so, okay, so maybe she did look at Santana inappropriately during So Emotional but it was all an act!
"I—that is absurd Brittany! True, Santana is attractive, but it was all part of the performance. You see, the song is abou—"
"Rachel, if you know what's good for you, you'll shut up."
Rachel has never seen Brittany so…aggressive. She immediately closes her mouth shut. Brittany leans against the lockers and pulls out something from the pocket of her Cheerios jacket.
"So, I found something in Santana's locker this afternoon. D'you want to guess what it is?"
Rachel sees that Brittany's smiling, but it isn't the one that she's used to. In fact, it looks like one serial killers wear before they stab their victims. It doesn't help that Brittany has a murderous glint in her eyes.
"So, Rachel Berry seems to have lost her tongue."
Rachel didn't know Brittany could be capable of such venom.
"I'll tell you what it is then. It's. A. Photo. Of. You."
Brittany moves closer to Rachel, and it's the first time Rachel realizes just how tall Brittany is. She towers over her, and Rachel is actually fearing for her safety.
"I—I was offering it as symbol of friendship."
Brittany scoffs.
"Don't think I don't catch you staring at her ass when she passes by."
"I—"
"Don't you even try to get out of this. I keep a list of all the times you leer at her assets. And I have a special one where I put the times I see a little drool down the side of your mouth. That Give Up the Funk number, uh, Express Yourself, Bad Romance, that sexy candy striper nurse outfit, that polyester suit, that time she body rolled during Blame It, Trouty Mouth, when she was taking off her jacket, Do You Wanna Touch, like the whole of it, I remember you crossing your legs a little bit too tightly, that—
"Brittany, I get it!"
Rachel's as red as a tomato. She thought she was subtle those times.
Brittany smirks.
"See, Rachel, I don't mind you admiring my girlfriend from a distance. But, if you want all your limbs intact, stop sending her photos of you, got it?"
Rachel gulps and nods her head.
"I'm glad we came to an understanding."
Brittany smiles her normal smile, and Rachel feels a shiver run down her back. She watches as Brittany leaves through the exit.
Remind her to never get on Brittany's bad side ever again.
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