Back To December
"So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night"
"I've missed you" I whispered and I hated myself for the way my voice quivered, the way my eyes stung with tears, the way my heart beat out of control as if it wished to claw his way out of my chest and place itself in her hands. In its rightful home.
"Don't," she begged, her features flinched at my words as if just the sound of my voice pained her. "What are you doing here?" She still hasn't looked at me, her eyes were locked on the floor and her fists were clasped hard, she tried to ground herself. We both tried.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, I've practiced this conversation, I've planned every word, I've prepared myself to every outcome, but standing here, looking at her. Nothing could have prepared me to this tornado of emotions.
"Ok," she said back, her green orbs now searching the sky for any answers and the familiar sharp pain in my chest hit me again, she really couldn't even look at me.
"We don't say 'I love you'" the words left my mouth and in every scenario I ran in my head, in every possibility I came out with, these words were left out and judging by the way Emma's body shivered and the small whimper that came out of her throat they were left out for a reason.
"No," she shook her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks, and that's was when I noticed, that's was when my world collapsed around me and my own weakness spilled out of me in waves of salty angry tears. "you don't say 'I love you'" she pointed her finger at me, her anger was taking over her but I didn't care, I didn't even hear her, my mind was in haze and I all I could see was the small shiny diamond that told me it was really over. "I say it, I've said it and you ran"
"I-" the words just didn't come out, my eyes were focused on her hand and she seemed to noticed it.
"It's too late," she whispered, her voice came out calm and even a little soft. How can I not love her? How can I give up on her when she acts like that? When she put me first even now.
"Is it?" I asked and took a few steps closer to her, I could see how her breath hitched with the rising and falling of her chest and I knew that even after all these years I can still affect her, I smiled at the knowledge and came even closer, I could smell her sweet perfume and I could feel the hot air as it left her lips and tickled my own.
She was the one who gave in, she was the one who closed the space between us and locked our lips together. I was the one who drove home but she, she was the one who took me back there, her lips were so soft, her taste was so sweet and I just melt in her embrace and kissed her and kissed her and kissed her until the need of air forced us to stop.
"It is" she mumbled against my swollen red lips, her forehead resting against mine and I squeezed her hand hard, letting the stupid diamond tear my skin as I swore to do anything in my power to get her back.
"I love you," I breathed.