Hello,
This story would not leave my head until I wrote it. This is what happens when you watch too many Catfish episodes.
Chapter 1 out of six
Female Toni Stark X ? (I won't reveal who just let. You will have read and find out.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or make any money off this.
The only reward i get is your reviews. So let me know what you think. This takes place after Civil War and before Infinity War.
Chapter 1:
The Darkest Parts
Toni Stark lets out a harsh sigh as she watches Jim and his physical trainer from the shadows of the upper deck. With overwhelming guilt, all she wants to do is run to him and cheer him on, to help him but Jim has made it clear—a number of times- that he doesn't want her there. He tells her it isn't because he blames her. He doesn't blame her for anything and just stares at her with nothing but love in his eyes—Granted, there was probably some lovable annoyance as well. He tells her he's doing this for her, protecting her from herself. He has a point, although she can't help but blame herself. She's the reason why he can't walk without assistance. She's the reason why he struggles, and she will never forgive herself for that.
She forces herself to take a few deep breaths as Jim staggers. Nails digging into her palms, she tells herself he's fine. She tells herself this is normal for someone relearning to use their legs, even if he wobbles side to side. She tries to calm herself as she forces herself to turn from Rhodes. He doesn't want her there, and she would not force herself on him, but it does hurt like hell. "Friday," she calls.
"Yes, Boss."
"Keep an eye on Rhodey for me?"
"It would be my honor."
As Toni turns away, she misses Rhodes' eye catching her in the shadows.
*O*O*
"Bring up Rhodey's X-rays," she orders FRIDAY. Her mind is hard at work, as she tries to find a way to help her best friend. She has tried quite a few ideas, but that just left her covered from head to tone in grease and oil with nothing to show for it. She had scrapped everything that she had been working on, realizing they weren't much better than the braces that he's wearing now.
"Yes Boss."
A second later, Jim's scans pop up in front of her as detailed holograms. With a wave of a hand, the spine doubles in size, and Toni zooms to the center of it. "What if we just replace the offending vertebrae and replacing them with something else." She utters mainly to herself. She knows it isn't as easy as that and she knows she is under estimating this by far too much. This is not her area. She knows but she can't help but jump into it. "Maybe, we can program a chip of some kind and intergrade it into his nerve system."
Toni smiles, always thinking of the nicknames she could come up for Jim once this is all over. Sure, he might oppose to becoming a 'robot', but god, she can fix him. Fix it. If she could get Rhodes up and walking, everything can go back to normal. No, she stops herself. It isn't as easy as that and she knows it, especially when over half of the Avengers are criminals. But, it can make it better. It can be a start "Get Helen on the line for me," she calls. "I'm going to need her assistance on this."
"She is 12 hours ahead of us, Boss. I do not believe she will be pleased if you wake her up."
"But it is for science!" Toni squeezes as a smile lights up her face.
If Friday could laugh, the AI would. "That may be so, Boss, but we want her to agree, not curse you."
"If you say so," she replies with a sigh, knowing her AI is right. This can wait for a few hours, and heck, it might be better for her. That way she can get more done. If she lets her mind work, she will have a masterpiece. "Add in the nervous system, Friday."
"As you wish."
"Yay," she says. However, before she can dig in, the door to her lab opens. Before she can even turn around, Jim is rolling into the room with a heavy scowl on his face.
Not allowing him to use any regular wheelchair, she has designed the top of the line one for him. It's a slim chair with a small powerful motor, so he doesn't have to push himself. Plus, it has a small touch screen in the both handles, which connects to the compound and Friday. It is the least she can do, right? He is in that chair because of her. "Shut it down," Rhodes orders, his voice shocking cold.
Toni turns, giving him a shocked look. "Jim," she utters, taking him in. Why is he so mad? She's just trying to make life easier for him. "I was just wo-"
"Just stop."
"Stop my brain? We all know that isn't possible. Just keeps going." She jokes, as she feels her heart race. Like the Star Ship Enterprise, there are alarms going off in her head. "Jim."
"Tones," he utters, he motors over to her. His voice softens.
Why is he looking at her like this? Damn it. She feels like a child getting her hands slapped. "I can fix it. I might need Helen's help, but I can do this. I can fix it. See?! I am half way there," she says, only half lying.
Rhodes' expression relaxes a bit, as he looks at her. "You don't need to do all this. I have the braces that's enough."
No, it isn't, but she doesn't know how to tell him that. He deserves the moon. "I need to do this. Let me do this."
He lets out a harsh sigh as he presses his thumb and index finger to the bridge of his noise. "You've done enough! I can't even count everything that you've been doing for me." He is stiff.
Why does he sound so mad? "Well, it can't be too much. My fingers aren't bleeding yet." She flashes her fingers at him, as she tries to put on a smile. "And with this, you can walk again!"
"You had said that the last time," Jim replies, slowly.
Toni gives him a look. "Well, you wouldn't let me give you the last one, so that's on you. Not my fault you're no fun." She knows the look he's giving her is serious, drilling through her, and she knows she should be taking this seriously, but jokes and jests are her shields. It's how she keeps herself calm. "Just let me do this."
"Toni," he says, sternly. He is staring at her now. "I love that you're doing all of this for me, and I love you. But this needs to stop. I am fine. Please just stop."
But if she doesn't do this? What good is she? She has already doomed the planet by destroying the Avengers. She needs to fix it, to give something back. She needs to do something right. "I know I can do this. Just let me work. You know what I can do on a few hours of sleep," she says, her panic rising up inside of her.
"I said stop! Goddamn it," he yells, his voice carries. "Just stop. I don't need this. I don't want this. I didn't want any of this. Why can't you just listen to me for once?! God, you never listen." He let out a deep, sharp huff. Why are you so hard headed?"
Like she has been hit, she pushes off the hologram table and slides back in the chair. Tears are threatening to fall, but she doesn't let them. Why doesn't he let her fix it? She broke it. She needs to fix it. She needs to repair what she has damaged. She needs to make thing right…unless, he doesn't trust her. Why would he trust her? How many times has she ruin things? Ultron comes to mind, and it's suddenly hard to breath. No wonder he doesn't want her to fix this. He's scared that she'll break him even more. "Um, I think Pepper needs me on a SI call?" she says, struggling to get the words out.
Rhodes' expression falls. "Tones, I didn't mean it like that."
"I got to go," she says, getting to her feet and bolting to the door.
He turns his chair as he tries to go after her. "Toni, no," he says. "I didn't-" He isn't able to get the words out before she is out the door.
*O*O*
Toni doesn't know why she does this to herself. She doesn't know why she forces herself to read the crap on the internet, though she knows she doesn't have an ounce self-preservation in her. Rogers and the rest of the rogues may think of her as a selfish person, who only cares about her, and at one point in her life, that was true. Now, she can't help but throw herself on a bomb in the hope of saving something. She can't help but offer herself up as a sacrifice if it means everyone else is saved. And, she's willing to take the blame and full responsibility if it means saving someone.
This is how she ends up here. She may know there's nothing but darkness on the internet, especially after the hell show that people are calling 'Civil War,' but she deserves it. Even though she was and is on the right side of the law (some may disagree), she's okay with being the bad guy; someone needs to be the bad guy. She's the bad guys in the eyes of the public, which is clear on the message boards. She's not the hero, even though she's now the face of the Avengers—not saying that she doesn't have some fan. They are just foolish and stupid.
Again, that's okay, because she deserves it. She broke the Avengers, and this is her punishment. She can take it. She is strong enough. She is. Why don't you believe it? She asks herself. It's just words after all. I can take it. However, there are lot of mean and nasty comments toward her. Some of them are downright evil, wishing for her death. Wishing someone would rape—yes, rape—her. Yes, she can take it, but do people not understand how disgusting that is? She won't wish that on her worse enemy, and here she is receiving it.
It is just words that she must bear. She has to, because she must protect the world, not throw a fit. She just has to. Besides, she shouldn't care what's said on the internet and she did sign up for this, but it's harder said than done, especially when she believes what she reads. She tries not to, but after watching Rhodes fall, she believes it all. You would think the Toni Stark would have a lot of self-esteem—joking about how awesome she is daily, but nope. At times, she down right hates herself and these comments are her punishment.
Because they are right.
She's everything that they say she is. Everything. She's selfish. She's heartless. She's cruel, cold, careless, rash and a nasty bitch. And most of all, she is a killer. She has killed many, because of all those things. The sad part is that she doesn't know many people she has killed. There're too many to count, to know about, especially after what happened in Sokovia. Her actions have led to the deaths of hundreds. The death of innocent people. So, yes, everything they say is right. She is all those things, and she cannot and will not deny those.
It cannot be said that she's unfeeling, as she wouldn't be forcing herself to read those nasty comments on this Anti Toni Stark blog if she is. She wouldn't be forcing herself to read these things if she doesn't feel. If she doesn't believe them. Now, if anyone asks—not that anyone will find out-, she's reading it for kicks, and not because, she wants to know if people see her as the monster that she sees herself as. She wants to see if people are fooled by her mask. See if anyone is fooled by her.
Sitting in a dark lab—after locking everyone out -, Toni stares at the bright computer screen, as she mutes FRIDAY to avoid the AI's comments. Normally, she doesn't do this in the dark, but Rhodey caught her once. He's still looking at her funny after their earlier conversion. With a force smile on her lips, she told him that she wanted a good laugh when he came upon her. She wanted to see what the masses were saying about her like the one time where media reported she was an alien. Her best friend had given her a look before dragging her off to eat.
She'll say that their last conversion has driven her to the messages boards this time, as her guilt threatens to overtake her. She just keeps seeing his disappointed look in his eyes, and it keeps her awake. That's why she finds herself staring at the comments at 1 o'clock in the morning. This one message board is pro-cap (not that she would bother with the Pro- Iron Man ones). The Avengers—or what is left of them-are better off with Rogers, even if she doesn't like the thought. With a deep breath, Toni drives in.
Hater871: Self Righteous bitch.
Shinngirl14: How is Captain America the criminal and Toni Stark a free woman? Who did she fuck?
PrettyinPink7: It's not a question of who she fucked. It's who she paid. No telling how many people she paid off.
CrazeforCap42: It's disgusting that the woman still breathes. Why hasn't anyone killed her yet? Someone needs to video that shit and post it.
Hater871: I would pay to see that.
It goes downhill from there, but Toni just reads, not responding to the comments that she sees. She doesn't respond as she doesn't know what she wants to do. Defend herself? Join in? There's a part of her that believes what they're saying, and she doesn't know if she can deny the truth, especially when the bloody images of Rhodey pops in her head. He's her biggest regret, which is why she just wants to fix it. Help him. The second regret is Rogers and how she reacted to him, though in her defense he is an ass. He lied to her and all.
Yurallidiots: I wonder how she sleeps at night with all that blood on her hands.
"I don't sleep," she utters, as she glances at the security feed for the Avenger compound that Friday pulled up for her. "I don't sleep at all." All she has is nightmares, and all she sees is the dead bodies that she's responsible for. All she does is caused pain, when all she wants to do is protect people.
CrazeforCap42: The heartless bitch probably sleeps like a baby, not caring whose life she destroys.
Oh, she wishes she could sleep. That bed cost her a pretty penny, and she would like to use it. Thank you very much. It is like sleeping in the cloud, not she can sleep.
Shinngirl14: She's probably in that lab of hers, creating another murder bot.
PrettyinPink7: I beat that she signed that registration act just to throw attention off herself. She wants us to think Captain America is the monster when she is.
Yurallidiots: Agreed. Captain America is the hero. She's just a rich bitch who only cares about herself.
We_are_going_to_Hell: She needs to be taken down like the villain that she is. We need Captain America back.
"Shut it off, FRIDAY," she orders, as she turns from the screen. A second later, the screen goes black, sending the room into darkness. The genus doesn't make move as she wonders if she really is the villain in this story. That person does have a point, considering what happened with the Avengers.
"Do you need anything, Miss?" FRIDAY asks.
Sitting in darkness, Toni stares up at the ceiling. During times like this, she misses JARVIS. She misses her old AI's voice, and though she could go upstairs and find Vision, it doesn't count or help. Vision and JARVIS aren't the same. Same voice but different 'people. "No, I'm fine." She replies, thinking about how much those assholes were right. Maybe, she is the villain in this story. "Just thinking of a villain costume."
O*O*O
Hater871: Can you believe this shit? Who the hell does Stark think she's kidding? She'll always be a monster.
Pienotwar4: What's wrong with giving computers to schools? At least, she's doing something with her blood money. The same can't be said about other people.
PrettyinPink7: Don't let that fool you. She only did it to make herself look better. She doesn't care. It's all about the money and image for her.
Toni's once again staring at the screen, as she rests her head on her hands. With a deep sigh, her mind wonders. Is Hater871 is right? It was Pepper who told her to do donate these computers, as she forced the genius out of the lap. It's Pepper who has a heart, not her.
Starkmustdie342: She spilled more blood than Hitler in my opinion. Between all the weapons she made and Sokovia, she's probably the greatest threat to mankind.
"What a nice name, buddy," Toni mutters, as she reads. Is 1 to 342 already take? She could hack her way into the website and find out who these people are. She can find the basement these people are living in, but she knows she can't. They have the right to what they believe. If she tries to stop them, would she be proving them right?
Yurallidiots: I think she's planning to take over the world. She's a Stark. It is in her blood. Without a doubt, she'll get rid of anyone who stands in her way. It's what with did with Captain America.
Toni snorts at that one. She doesn't have the time or the will to rule the world. It takes too much work; plus, taking over the world involves dealing with people, and she isn't a people person. She also can't trust someone not to kill her.
AK47Soldier: Someone needs to take her down. Or at least, lock that woman up somewhere no one can find her. She destroys everything she touches. Look at what happens to the Avenger.
CrazeforCap42: She torn them apart, and now, we're stuck with Iron Man. She doesn't care about human life. She would probably let her own mother die if it serves her. We need Captain America. He could keep us safe from her.
Hater871: Yea, if her mother was alive, she would kill herself, knowing she raised a monster.
Starkmustdie342: That woman should've drowned her when she was a baby and save us all from this monster. She could've saved the world from that killer.
That hurt more than Toni will admit. It really feels like someone has a hand on her heart and is squeezing. "You know shit." She hisses, as her hands ball at her side. She's itching to reply, to chew this person out for bringing up her mother. She would do anything to bring her mother back. Anything. Her mother was everything to her. She was her hero. "Crap," she cries as her parent's death replaces in her head. God, why did she have to go looking for that video? She had seen it once. Why did she have to rewatch it? Now, her father and mother's deaths keep replying in her head.
PrettyinPink7: She probably killed herself to save herself from the heartbreak of knowing she raised a killer.
Toni wants to yell back, to scream. She wants to yell from the roof top. Sure, she doesn't want the world to know she's reading this crap, but this is her mother. Her mother was wonderful. She was beautiful, and…. Crap. Everything she touches dies. She can't help but wonder what could've happened to Peter if he joined the Avenger. Would she have hurt him too?
GrumpyBear: Enough! Who the hell do you think you fuckers are? Her Mother is dead. Dead, and you're saying this crap? You people are the disgusting. At least, she's trying to make a difference.
She can feel the tears run down her face, thinking back to her mother. Her beautiful Mother, who died reaching out to her father. She hates that they're doing this. Her mother who was the most wonderful woman she has ever met, but these assholes are putting doubts in her head. She can't help but wonder what Maria would say if she sees her now. Would she hate Toni like everyone else does? Would she be ashamed? Howard is probably cursing her from the grave.
CrazeforCap42: Fuck off.
Starkmustdie342: How dare us? How dare you?! She's disgusting. She needs to be stop before it's too late.
Hater871: Is Stark fucking you now?
AK47Soldier: Is she paying you to say such things?
PrettyinPink7: Maybe, this user is Stark. Pathetic if she is.
With her heart pounding, Toni stares at the word on the screen, wondering who this new comer was. Though there are a lot of user on this site, she knows 'GrumpyBear' is new. Well, he—or she—has to be if he's this upset at the others. This message board is all hate.
GrumpyBear: She's a human being, and you're attacking her without any reason besides being a total asshole. She just wants to help, while you just want to tear her down. Get a life.
Yurallidiots: Stark is definitely paying you.
The whole paying thing makes Toni laugh. If she's paying someone to 'yell' her innocence on the web, she would've hired more than one person. She would've hired an army, and they would've drowned everyone out. They wouldn't be able to think.
PrettyinPink7: Unless, this is Stark.
Hater871: Oh, I would love to fight that Bitch. Love to make her scream. To bleed. She deserves to pay.
GrumpyBear: I don't know about you, but my mother taught me better than that. Taught me to show respect to a Lady. She deserves respect.
AK47Soldier: Stark's not a Lady. She's a monster.
GrumpyBear: You're the monster here, wishing death on her. Why don't you all move out of your mother's basement?
Toni chuckles at one, as the rest of the users 'jump' on the newcomer, attack him with words. Watching these users, she knows this is what's wrong with the world—well, she's included in that. With a deep breath, she stares at this username, wondering why this person would defend her? Sure, she has fans, but this feels more than that. Clicking on his name, she opens a private message. For some reason, she needs to know why someone would risk his head. She has to know why he defends her like that.
RedMetal46: You know. Stark doesn't deserve this protection. She isn't a hero.
GrumpyBear: Says who? You? What do you know. Besides, who the hell are you to say anything?
The genius can smile, her heart warming slightly, but this person has no idea who he's talking to. The person would probably shit their pants if he knew. The Media would most likely have a field day, and she could already see the headlines now; plus, they're already dragging her through the mud.
RedMetal46: Just look at what she did.
GrumpyBear: I know what she did, but do you? Or are you just reading what these losers are saying?
Toni narrows her eyes. What does this person know? There's no way he knows the truth.
RedMetal46: I know you're the one missed informed. But why are you defending her?
GrumpyBear: Why does it matter? I'm doing what's right. She doesn't deserve to be attacked.
Toni really doesn't know why it matters. Why does it matter if this one person is defending her? Again, she has fans, and she knows she has crazy fans, who will do anything for her. However, she doesn't understand how this man can jump in like that…Maybe, she's thinking too much into this.
RedMetal46: Does she really?
The user doesn't response right away, taking a few seconds, but at the bottom of the message, she can see words: 'GrumpyBear' is typing. She just stares, wondering what the hell the person is typing that is taking this long.
GrumpyBear: Again, why does it matter to you? Why do you care? Why is it so important for you to know why I'm defending Stark? Why? I did it because no one deserves to be attacked. No one deserves to be ripped a part. Is that so wrong? Those people are disgusting, and I will always stand up to a bully. That's why I'm doing this. It is the right thing to do.
"Sounds like Rogers," Toni mutters, thinking back to the Good Captain. A person, she once considered a friend. A person she had once thought in a romantic kind of way, not that he had ever thought of her like that. Granted, it could've been her horny self speaking, after watching him work out. However, she's pretty sure he considered- still considers her to be a rich bully, a bitch who only cares about herself. And now, she can only think of heartbreak when she thinks of him.
GrumpyBear: I hate bullies.
RedMetal46: Some would consider me a bully.
There's apart of her who will always think of herself as a bully, a cool hard bitch- which is why she's here reading these hateful comments. With a deep sigh, she glances out the lab window to the Avenger compound, as she lets out a harsh sigh. With the night sky, there was a chill in the air, though it isn't exactly dark outside. Due to the compound being patrolled regularly, there's always someone out there. There's always a light on.
GrumpyBear: I don't believe that.
RedMetal46: Why not? We are on a 'I hate Toni Stark' board. Maybe, I'm an ass. I'm the one asking why you are defending her like the nut case that you are.
She doesn't know what she's doing, but she wants the user to type again. She wants him to say she isn't a bully one more time. She needs to hear from someone other then Jim.
GrumpyBear: I don't think so.
RedMetal46: And what makes you say that? I could be a crazy hater on my way to kill her.
Taking a deep breath, Toni glances outside again. There're times where she wonders if someone is in the shadows ready to kill her, not that she doesn't deserve it. She has a long list of people who wants her dead, and at the top, she puts the super soldiers. She sees them jumping out of the shadows to kill her, especially after she tried to kill one of them. It would be poetic crap to be killed by the Winter Soldier. Crap, she groans, as her parent's death forces its way back into her head.
GrumpyBear: Just go back and read what you wrote. If you were a bully, you wouldn't have asked what you did. Besides, I don't see you making horrible comments like the others.
She narrows her eyes at this person, trying to think of something to say, but being Toni Stark, only insults come to mind. Without sleep especially, she can become a bear.
RedMetal46: But I'm an asshole!
RedMetal46: Like what kind of name is Grumpybear? Are you a bear, who can't sleep or something? Or are you Old Man who has bear like features?
GrumpyBear: LOL. Nope just a person who stands up for the little man.
RedMetal46: Okay, Cap.
GrumpyBear: Nope, not him, but have you seen those muscles?
GrumpyBear: I don't know how he finds shirts.
A smile forms on her lips as she lets out a low chuckle. Who is this person? How does he roll with the punches so well? And why is he so funny? This person is giving her a much-needed laugh. There's a part of her who wants to meet him, so she can shake his hand…and then his head because he has to be crazy.
RedMetal46: Well, those arms could be why these people are so crazy. I can't fault them. Like two lollipops you just want to lick.
Okay, that's a little weird, she thinks. It isn't wrong. Rogers is a good-looking piece of meat. And before Rogers betrayed her, she found herself staring at those arms of his, wondering how they would feel around her. She has no shame in admitting that she was- yes, was. He lied to her- horny for him and she dreamed about riding him like a bull. Though she would not admit this part, he was the dream. The ideal. The happy ending for her. Now, he just makes her feel ashamed, though that may be the fact that she has killed countless people. She's the one who broke those ideals. She is the one who doesn't live up.
GrumpyBear: TMI. I repeat. TMI.
RedMetal46: Oh, you weren't thinking it?
GrumpyBear: Most definitely not. He is not my type. I'm beginning to wonder about you.
Even if Rogers is an ass, she's pretty sure he can turn guys gay. Just saying. She's pretty sure if Rogers turns on the charm, his target would be naked in no time—well, besides her. She hates the asshole.
GrumpyBear: And AHHHHH. These people are crazy.
RedMetal46: You didn't already know this?
GrumpyBear: If I wasn't a big old grumpy bear, I might be scared.
He doesn't need to explain as she can see the threats they're sending this user. Attacking is a better word. Countless people are now going after him, bullying him; plus, there's no telling how many are private messaging him, terrorizing him with everything under the sun.
RedMetal46: Now, I have this image in my heads. So, thanks!
GrumpyBear: You're welcome.
Out of all the ways she thought she would end this night, this isn't how, not with a smile on her face. She feels like she could breath for once in a long time.
*O*O*
Head deep in a new suit, she ignores Rhodes and Vision hovering over her like a set of overprotective parents. Though she knows they do it because they care, it's strange! They act more like her parents than her parents did. Rhodey has cared more about her sex life than her father, which is saying something. Vision has been a mother hen, making sure she is well rested. Though, that does not mean she didn't have a good relationship with her mother as she did. It's just that her parents didn't hover, and god, she had wished they had—no, she wasn't going to cry. She isn't a child. However, she can't take it take from her gay dads—a nickname that Jim hates with a passion. Vision just stares at her when she says it. What? It isn't her fault they're parenting her. Jimsion? She thinks, imaging them together. Vismas? Rhoion?
With all kidding aside, she knows why they're here, trying to talk her in to going to the medical to examine the head injury she got on their last mission. According to her and all her wisdom, she has declared herself fine. What? She is a Doctor. Her fancy degree say so, though she's not a medical doctor. And why does that matter? If something is truly wrong with her, FRIDAY would sound the alarm. The AI did not, so she is fine. Why can't they see it? However, she knows they won't listen. Knowing how this will turn out, she waits for Vision to drag her to the Medical. Rhodes is twitching to drag her away himself, but with his legs, he's not capable.
Her heart skips at that thought. It almost stripped the fight she has in her. Her heart's pounding in her chest as guilt rises up inside of her. Unable to stop it, Jim's fall replays in her head. That thought alone makes her want to comply, feeling like shit, but with her panic growing, she doesn't want to be poked. She did not want to be trapped- forced into something, so she refuses to move.
"I am fine, Dad," she replies, trying to keep down her anger. When she is like this, her angry shows like fireworks.
"You know daughters should listen to their fathers." Rhodey lets out a hard sigh as he gives her a hard look.
Toni smirks at him. "You should ask Howard. Horrible child. I never listened."
With his hand on the bridge of his nose, he has reached his breaking point. "There's blood running down your face, Toni," he replies. He reaches his hand out, hesitating just before he touches her. "Come on, Tones."
With a harsh sigh, Toni glances at her reflection in the monitor and sees the blood in the dark reflection. Judging by the amount, she knows it's a bad cut, but the blood has dried, so she can't bring herself to care. She just needs to clean her face. However, she doesn't seem to care about a lot of things these days, not with her blood-stained hands. She doesn't know if that should scare her, but it doesn't. "I'm good."
The glare on Jim's face that could melt ice. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Did Rog…" Rhodes freezes in his tracks, stopping himself from saying the name. "Is your brain intact? Did you get hit too hard in the head?"
She glances at her best friend, moving away from his hand. "I need to get my suit in working order in case there's another attack," she replies, looking back at the suit.
With a soft look in his eyes, Vision takes a step forward. "A case can and will be made that you are the most important part of the Suit. We must assure you are fine before fixing the suit." He takes yet another step forward, reaching out to her. "And you are our leader."
Toni glances up, wondering how close he is to throwing her over his shoulder (Not that he is the type). However, she knows he isn't going to let her talk her way out of it either and fighting with him will not change the outcome. Granted, it's hard to think with her heart—is it her head?—pounding. Besides, she is too exhausted. "Fine," she says, pushing herself to her feet. She ignores how shaky her legs are. "But I need some chocolate after this."
Rhodes gives Vision a look before they take the genius to Medical. No one says anything about how heavily Toni is leaning against Vision.
*O*O*
With strict orders, Toni is resting her bed, but the case can be made that she isn't resting. Once more, she's staring at the message boards, like a weird addiction. It's like when you see an accident and you can't help but look. She knows she shouldn't, should just look forward; however, she's drawn to these message boards. She's drawn to these hate filled forums and just drinks in their anger. She ignores FRIDAY and orders her to mute after the AI threatens to tell Rhodes. Traitor!
Maybe, Jim has a point? Her head's pounding from their recent mission, feeling like someone has taken a hammer to the her head. Judging by the large gauze pad taking up a third of her face, the pain makes sense. She just wishes she hasn't reached her allotted number of pills. Also, the gauze is itchy as all hell, though it gets Rhodes off her back—not that he'll completely leave her alone. He is Dad number 1 (Vision is Dad number 2), and he is eyeing her like a hawk. It is touching how much they care for her, though annoying.
However, Rhodes doesn't realize what she's doing in the late hour of the nights. If he ever finds out, she can imagine the angry look on his face; plus, there would be no denying how disappointed he would be if he knew. But right now, he knows nothing which means she can be alone to read these nasty comments without getting the look from her Best friend and Vision. It also means she is sitting in the darkness with a sad heart.
Starkmustdie342: Too bad that bitch didn't die in that attack.
PrettyinPink7: I couldn't help but laugh when I saw it. She deserves that and so much worse.
1234Bored: I was excited thinking she has finally reached her end. But you never know, she can develop a brain bleed.
Is she really this bad of a person? Is her death really what these people want? Would it bring relief to them? She's sure it would make her victims' family feel better, as they deserve her head. She has wronged them. Her death may calm them. However, she isn't sure what these idiots would get out of it. Did she hurt them? She kind of wants to know; granted, she can track them down. She's a genius after all, but what would she do when she meets them? Shove her foot up their asses? But aren't they correct? How many people has she killed? How many people would've been spared if she was killed by the Ten Rings?
GrumpyBear: Do you any of you have a life? I swear you're living in your mother's basements or something. Get over yourselves.
With a warmth growing in her chest, Toni can't help but smile seeing his username. She also can't help but laugh as the group 'jumps' 'GrumpyBear' insulting him with while he insults them back with movie lines—some dating back to the 1940s. She wants to deny the feeling in her chest when she reads his words, because this is just some random person on the internet who happens to be her fan. Having quite a few fans, he could be a dime a dozen, but there's something different about him. It feels different, though she doesn't understand why. Again, she wants to ignore the feeling in her chest, warming her up from the inside out. It's uplifting to have someone defend her like this. To have someone stand up for her, even when the world is against her.
Fighting back the smile forming on her face, she clicks on the username and opens a private chat with the user, who she's assuming is male. (His tone says male.) She hesitates for a second, not believing she, the famous Toni Stark, is about to IM some random stranger for the second time. She could hire a shit ton of people to talk to, yet she's talking to a person on the internet. She has seen Catfish. Has watched it a few times. He could be some old man in his underwear. He could be a cool hearted killer—No, she is the one who is a cold blood killer.
RedMetal46: Defending her honor again?
GrumpyBear: Oh, it's you? Watching the world burn again?
RedMetal46: Me? Watching the world burn?
She pauses for second, allowing it to stink in. Does she want the world to burn? She is watching these idiots attack her.
RedMetal46: Okay, yup, but hey, I can admit it.
It takes a few second for Grumpy to response, which allows Toni's mind to wander. With her self-doubt, her mind goes to a dark place, where her bad ideas come from. It's this dark place where she struggles to keep her head above water.
GrumpyBear: Well, it's a good sign that you can admit it. But if you let the world burn, I'm safe, right? I'm too cute to die.
RedMetal46: no one is safe around me.
It comes off as a joke, but it doesn't feel like a joke. She believes it with everything inside of her. For her, it's a fact. Everyone who has ever gotten close to her got hurt, and no amount of word is going to change that, not with Rhodes' fall repeating in her head. Without meaning to, she keeps replaying that day, reliving it, and she's almost eaten up by the guilt. Her best friend is hurt because of her.
GrumpyBear: I don't know if I should be scared or laughing.
RedMetal46: I think the correct answer would be both.
With a deep sigh, Toni glances to the time on her tablet and just stares. Due to the drugs she's on, she's slightly loopy (though still in pain), and it takes everything in her not to fall asleep, not that she ever sleeps for long. The issue isn't sleeping; it's the dreams. She doesn't want to dream, which is why she forces herself to stay awake for days. She forces herself to stay up until she'll fall asleep without dreaming, without starring at the ceiling and reliving the worst days of her life. She would only sleep when she was safe.
GrumpyBear: So why are you really here? I know it isn't to watch me rip into these idiots, which I'm doing an awesome job at.
RedMetal46: Someone has a healthy ego.
GrumpyBear: Takes one to know one.
RedMetal46: Smart ass.
GrumpyBear: Again, takes one to know one.
The TV show Catfish pops into her head again. How old is this person? Is she talking to a child? Though, he's probably thinking the same thing about her. Even knowing her, she knows that some people do call her a child, and she has no doubt Wilson calls her a child, a spoiled child. She can see it. With a deep breath, Toni stares at her tablet again. What's he getting out of this? What does he think this will change? He's just one voice, who is getting drowned by hundreds.
With confusion running through her, she watches him as he continues to defend her. He defends her against everything, even against the worst and most disgusting insults. Maybe, he just likes to fight? Or maybe, he really is this kind-hearted man, who truly cares. Again, Rogers comes to mind…well, before she tried to kill his best friend and him almost killing her. Either way, it's weird to have someone fight for her, when so many people had turned their back on her.
RedMetal46: Why do you care what these people are saying?
The user doesn't response right away, taking a few long seconds.
GrumpyBear: I told you why before. She's human just like the reason of us. Sure, she made some mistakes, but we all have. I know I made quite a few. And no matter what, no one deserves to be treated like that. These people are disgusting. These comments. God, how can anyone treat anyone like that? They make me sick. Sad.
Toni knows which comments he's referring to, and she hates those very words, even if she isn't her own biggest fan. She wishes she could kick these people for wishing those things on any woman, but again, she can't find it in her to defend herself. Her self-worth is too low for that.
RedMetal46: It's more than that. It's like you're making it your life mission. Because there are other 'humans' you can protect if that was the case. There are so many other women you can defend.
She could feel her heart in her chest, pounding against her rib case. Is this what it feels like to have a heart attack? Again, why this is so important to her? Does she want someone to believe in her so badly? It isn't like she doesn't have people: Pepper, Vision, and Rhodes, but they're different. They defend her because they have to, not because they believe in her.
GrumpyBear: Why does it matter? Why do you care?
"Because I'm Toni Stark," she yells, her voice echoing and tears run down her face. With a huff, she glares at the screen. "Because I care." She adds, as a tear dips off her chin.
RedMetal46: Because it does.
GrumpyBear: Not going to tell me?
RedMetal46: You tell me first.
GrumpyBear: What are you five?
Even with the tears, she has to chuck at that, considering she's thinking that as well. It makes her want to know who she is talking to. Being a genius, she can track this person down. However, she just hears a certain saying in her head: never meet your heroes in real life. They aren't the person you're picturing in your head. Right now, she just sees a fat man in his 60s sitting behind a computer in his mother's basement. She also sees a Gary, her super fan, in this person, which is unsettling.
Also, she seriously doubts this person would like her knocking on his door out of nowhere, acting like a crazy person. People say stuff on the internet because they can say without anyone knowing who is saying it. There's no way this person doesn't changes as soon as he sees who he's talking to. Toni also isn't an idiot, knowing full well that she has to be careful to who she talks to. She's Toni Stark and the media will blow up if they find out. Pepper would kill her, and Jim and Vision would bring her back to do it again.
RedMetal46: Maybe, I am.
GrumpyBear: LOL. Super smart for a five-year-old I must say.
RedMetal46: Super smart, yup. Now, what about you?
GrumpyBear: I'm six.
RedMetal46: Oh, are you? Are you wearing a tutu? If so, what color?
GrumpyBear: I am manly enough to wear pink.
From there, the two just tease each other back, roasting the other for the fun of it, and like the sun has shined on her, Toni forgets all the nasty comments. With a large smile on her face, she doesn't remember the last time she has laughed so hard that's she out of breath. She doesn't recall when she has been so calm and relax, and she can't help but feel grateful for some stranger on the internet. There's a slight panic to it, as well as the reality may break the vision that she is building in her head.
GrumpyBear has added you to his contacts.
Like a girl with her first crush, Toni feels her face heat up at the words, which she doesn't like at all. She is not the kind of person who just lets anyone in. Plus, she hates her teenage years, especially the part where she felt like an idiot.
Author Note:
1) The remaining 5 chapters have been written. The more reviews the faster I will update. Yep, I am holding him hostage. Haha. Just want to see what you think.
2) I thought about adding the coupling, but I thought that would ruin it for you all. Now, I know certain people don't like certain coupling, but I want to make this fun read. You won't know until Toni's knows. I will note that I will adding the coupling once the story is complete. So I do apologize if you don't like the Coupling in the end.
3) I also do angst and self pity really well. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing.
Again let me know what you think.