Craig Tucker's Angst
By Shadowgate
…
Craig Tucker went to school and it seemed like just another morning. Token stopped him in the hallway and put his hand on his shoulder.
Craig said "hey Token" and Token responded "did you hear Clyde is in the hospital?"
Craig said "no what happened?"
Token answered "appendicitis."
Craig caught his breath and said "oh well that's common have they done the surgery yet?"
Token answered "yes it was last night. His dad called my dad so that's how I know."
Token and Craig entered their classroom and saw Bebe crying. Tweek ran up to Craig ad said "Clyde's in the hospital."
Craig grabbed Tweek and said he knew and told him to calm down.
When the teacher entered she told everyone to take their seats. Everyone took their seats and she said "now class" only to suddenly stop her lesson plan and look up to Bebe who was crying.
The teacher asked Beebe why she was crying and Beeb said "my man is in the hospital."
The teacher said "excuse me your man?"
Bebe answered back "Clyde."
The teacher explained "that reminds me class last night Clyde Dononvan went to the hospital last night due to appendicitis. His surgery was successful. He'll be back to school on Wednesday. Also Bebe do not refer to Clyde as your man. It makes it sounds like you and him do things together."
Bebe slammed her fist down on her desk and said "what's wrong with me calling him 'my man?"
The teacher replied "by calling him your man you make it sound like you do things with him. Pus for you to call him your man is not appropriate for a lady your age."
Bebe slammed her hand on her desk and the teacher said "do not slam your hand on your desk young lady that is disrespectful and I will have you suspended."
Bebe shot back "you're the one being disrespectful by not letting me acknowledge grief for my man. Oh and he is my man and I'll bet I do more with my man than you've ever with a man miss goody two shoes momma."
The class went "whoa" and Token said "damn sassy white girls make me hot."
The teacher sent Bebe to PC Principal.
INSIDE THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE
PC Principal said "okay young lady you say Clyde is your man? Do you both understand affirmative consent?"
Bebe explained to PC Principal the both understood affirmative consent. She also stated they did kissing and hand jobs.
PC Principal went on to say "okay now let's discuss your referral. You were very rude and disruptive in class."
PC Principal starts breathing hard. Bebe starts to shake. As PC Principal continues breathing hard Bebe says "I'll go apologize immediately I promise."
PC Principal yelled "YOU DO THAT IMMEDIATELY OR I'LL BREAK YOUR FUCKING ARMS YOUNG LADY!"
Bebe said "yes sir I will."
Bebe rushed back to class.
Mister Mackey said to PC Principal "um PC Principal you can't threaten to beat students like that umkay."
PC Principal said "THAT'S IT MISTER MACKEY I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU MY BITCH!"
PC Principal punched Mister Mackey in the face and gave him a bloody nose. PC Principal yelled "GET UP MACKEY! GET THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE MY BITCH YOU GOT THAT?"
Mister Mackey responded "yes PC Principal I'm your bitch."
PC Principal said "Goddamn right you're my little bitch boy."
Mister Mackey said "yes sir I'm your little bitch."
PC Principal said "that's a good boy Mister Mackey."
At lunch time Craig's cellphone rang. He didn't recognize the number but he answered anyhow.
Craig said "hello."
The voice on the other end said "hello is this Craig Tucker?"
Craig said "yes who's this?"
The voice said "my name is Frank Godfather and I'm calling from Hell's Pass Hospital to inform you that tragically your friend Clyde Donovan passed away."
Suddenly Craig realized this was a prank call.
He turned around and saw Cartman behind him.
Craig smacked Cartman in his face.
TO BE CONTINUED