This is a response to a writing prompt "Fuck you, fuck this, fuck that - fuck everything" for Hunniper.
"I don't understand why you ever thought doing that would be a good idea or that you'd get away with it," Hunnigan said, shoving the door to her office shut, her usually so calm and cool demeanor beginning to switch over to fire and brimstone which lately had been reserved mostly for scolding Helena of her antics.
"I don't understand why you think I was trying to get away with it. Hell, I'd do it again in a heartbeat," Helena commented and slumped into the chair opposite of Hunnigan's massive wooden desk. The chair was intentionally a little bit lower than the one Hunnigan had. Some sort of basic psychological little trick to let the person sitting in that chair know that Hunnigan was the alpha here. Not that she needed the higher chair for that; was a bit over six feet tall even when not wearing heels which made her somehow seem more authoritative even if it was just a physical feature which didn't really guarantee anything regarding one's personality.
"God damn it, Helena, Murphy is an asset and he is here under our protection… your protection, and you pull a stunt like this!" Hunnigan said, the low and calm tone deceiving, by now Helena knew better; low and calm was Hunnigan's most dangerous tone.
"Oh, please, he's a crybaby, I only roughed him up a little," Helena scoffed and sat up straight, putting her hands on her knees as she leaned forward to challenge the taller woman. "He deserved it."
Helena didn't think she'd even done much damage to him, she'd merely delivered a quick kick to the back of his knee to drop him to the floor and twisted his arm behind his back while holding him down by pressing her knee into the spot between his shoulder blades. She'd leaned against his head with her entire weight like she was trying to drown him into the gray linoleum floor; she'd wanted to repeatedly smash his stupid-looking face into the floor, but that would've probably killed him. She hadn't broken any bones or even fractured anything, she'd merely bruised him. For what he'd done, she thought he deserved worse.
"We don't get to pick and choose who we protect! We don't interfere with our assets' personal lives; protective agents are there to make sure the asset is safe while staying with us and providing us intel. Protective agent does not manhandle their asset."
"He's a scumbag rat, not some foreign diplomat! If you think I would turn a blind eye for someone like that, you obviously don't know me at all."
"I'm not asking you to condone it, I don't condone it, but you must understand that you can't react!"
"I can, and I did! Back when I was in the military and deployed in Afghanistan, I couldn't because it was their culture, over there a woman is a man's property and he can do as he pleases with her, but I sure as fucking hell will never, never just look the other way when some shitstain over here decides to compensate for his lack of dick by beating a teenaged girl!" Helena shouted, rising to her feet so quickly and so agitatedly her chair fell over. She leaned her arms to Hunnigan's desk, hovering over the other woman who, much to Helena's disappointment, didn't even flinch. She simply pushed her glasses up, tilted her head back and looked into Helena's eyes, responding to the challenging glare with one of her own.
"You're suspended indefinitely, without pay. Effective immediately. Now, get the hell out of my office," Hunnigan said. Helena inhaled deeply through her nose and straightened her back, her hands balling into tight fists.
"Fuck you, fuck this, fuck that - fuck everything!" she yelled and stormed out of the office slamming the door shut behind her so hard the window on it and in the ones on the surrounding walls rattled.
"Gimme another," Helena held up a finger and the bartender visibly sighed at her request.
"I think you've had more than enough. Go spend your money on the girls for a change," he suggested, nodding toward the stage in the middle of the room, surrounded by men in neat suits (probably businessmen from out of town who had to escape across the city limits lest their wives find out about their hangout spots) and their opposites - the weird-looking guys who probably wouldn't get anywhere near a woman with any kind of a self-preservation instinct outside the strip club.
"I didn't come here to pay for tits and ass, I can see those in the mirror if I want," Helena scoffed and patted her palm against the bar impatiently, causing the tower of upside-down shot glasses to tumble and clatter over the worn and stained wood.
"Then why did you come here?" the bartender scoffed back and grabbed the bottle of vodka from the counter behind him as Helena gathered the empty glasses up, putting them in a row instead of theatrically assembling them into a tower.
"For the cheap drinks and honestly, I'm a sucker for nice atmosphere," Helena drawled sarcastically. There was nothing nice about the loud music and even louder people squirming and writhing in neon lights, the stench of sweat and cheap cologne clinging sickeningly to the roof of Helena's mouth with every inhale of the stagnant air.
"This is the last one," the bartender said and poured her the shot which she downed immediately.
"Your loss," she said, paid her tab and slid down from the barstool before heading toward the exit. Once outside, she dug her phone from her pocket and thumbed the screen, trying to unlock it. Unfortunately, she couldn't make out the numbers very well despite her valiant effort of squinting hard, and she ended up punching in the wrong code three times and the phone locked her out.
"Oh, fuck you!" she yelled at the inanimate object in her hand requesting for her personal unlock key. "The fuck you looking at?" she then aimed her wrath toward the young woman passing by, giving her a curious glance. She didn't comment.
Helena stuffed the phone back into her pocket agitatedly and began walking home. She still had a few blocks to go when she was about to pass a restaurant and she spotted a familiar tall figure exiting the establishment, her arm linked with a slightly shorter man's who was busy opening the taxi's door for her.
"Hunnigan!"
"Oh, good Lord," she groaned when she saw Helena. She was tempted to just duck into the car and hurriedly order the driver to drive, but that would've been rude. Instead, she told the man he should take the taxi and she'd catch another one. He quirked an eyebrow, inquiring if she was certain and she nodded, stepping backward on the sidewalk. She held her hand up to gesture good-bye and turned to face Helena when the taxi pulled away.
"Sorry to interrupt your date."
"No, you're not. And it wasn't a date, not that it's any of your business," Hunnigan corrected, her hands finding their way onto her hips as she mentally prepared for the scene Helena would inevitably make.
"You had no right to suspend me."
"And you have no right to accost me in the middle of the street, but here we are," Hunnigan shrugged.
"You know damn well that Murphy deserved what he got!" Helena argued and moved to follow Hunnigan when the taller woman turned and began walking away, obviously having no intention of continuing the conversation out here with the drunken agent.
"It's not about what he did or didn't deserve, it's about how you reacted. The agency cannot condone your behavior, I cannot condone your behavior, you're lucky I didn't outright fire you," Hunnigan told her.
"I bet you were reeeaaallly tempted to, tho, right?" Helena laughed bitterly and Hunnigan stopped in her tracks.
"You know what, how dare you?" she hissed, turning to face Helena, pointing her finger at Helena's face. "Do you have any idea how damn hard I had to work to get your recruited in the first place, let alone the effort I put in to ensure that you wouldn't be thrown in jail for treason after the stunts you pulled in Tall Oaks? And now you think I'm happy about having to suspend you? You ungrateful brat!"
"Oh, please, we both know that if I'd gone down for treason, you would've gone down for harboring a terrorist, so I seriously doubt all your efforts were completely selfless!" Helena said and she could tell Hunnigan was on the verge of slapping her.
Helena wished Hunnigan would actually do it, not so much because she would've enjoyed getting hit in the face, but because she wanted to know if she'd have what it takes to make Hunnigan snap. She was always to neatly put together and calm, it would've taken a lot more willpower to not keep intentionally antagonizing her. Helena realized it was childish, but in her current state, she didn't care.
All her life she'd been the serious, responsible one; she'd needed to be because she could never trust Deborah to handle herself let alone look after Helena. She was the baby sister, she was the one who should be coddled, protected and always aided no matter what the reason or how much of whatever was wrong was actually her own doing. Helena's job had been to be the guardian angel and problem solver.
But now, for the first time in her life, Helena was responsible for no one other than herself, she had a chance to be as stupid and childish as she wanted, and it made no difference to anyone else.
"Go home, Helena," Hunnigan said and turned once more to walk away and raised her arm high in the air when she spotted a taxi.
"I'm not done talking to you!" Helena went after her, having to take considerably faster steps to keep up with the taller woman's long and agitated strides.
"Well, I'm done talking to you because there's nothing more to discuss. You're suspended, end of story," Hunnigan said and got into the taxi, not expecting Helena to go to these lengths to follow her, but once again, the younger woman surprised her. She slipped in the backseat before Hunnigan had a chance to close the door.
"Oh, for God's sake. Really, Helena? Really?"
"I told you, I'm not done talking to you."
"What's your address?" Hunnigan asked and Helena told her it without thinking more of it until Hunnigan instructed the driver to take them there.
"So, what exactly do you want me to do?" she then asked.
"I want to go back to work."
"Helena, even if this were a minor little thing that I could just smooth over by pretending to slap you on the wrist, you have to understand you didn't leave me any other choice than to suspend you! Just... think of it as a vacation or something!"
"Vacation, right," Helena scoffed, "I get the feeling I won't be reinstated any time soon."
"Oh, my God, why are you so paranoid? I told you, if I wanted to fire you, I would've, but I don't, because even with all the crap you put me through with your reckless and insubordinate behavior, you're a good agent!" Hunnigan said in exasperation. "Days like this I wish you weren't so that I'd actually have a valid reason to fire you and save myself this trouble!" she then confessed in a growl.
"We're here," the driver informed them and Hunnigan glanced at Helena, expecting her to move, but Helena had no intention of doing that.
Sighing, Hunnigan got out from the opposite side, circled the car and yanked the door open before reaching to grab Helena's arm and pull her out. When she turned to get back inside by herself, she realized Helena was still gripping her forearm.
"Do you mind?" she said through clenched teeth and Helena's steely grip was an answer enough. "For the love of..." Hunnigan then mumbled, dug into her purse and paid for the ride, deciding she'd walk Helena home and escape later.
"You really hurt my feelings," Helena complained as they walked to the third floor and to her apartment.
"I'm the one hurting your feelings?" Hunnigan asked as Helena tried to find the right key from her keychain.
"Shit," Helena cursed when she dropped the keys. Hunnigan picked them up and finally unlocked the door, hoping Helena would let go of her, but she still didn't; instead, she pulled Hunnigan inside with her.
"You said you want to fire me!" Helena said, returning them to the original topic of conversation, a few drops of saliva shooting from between her lips as she spoke. Hunnigan grunted internally and barely resisted the urge to wipe her face. The drop that landed on the left lens of her glasses wasn't something she could ignore, though.
"That's not how I meant it, I just meant it would make my life easier if I could fire you because you are the reason I'm on the verge of getting gray hairs despite not being even thirty-five yet," Hunnigan said, picked the glasses from her nose and wiped the lens to her sleeve.
"How's is... how's that, is that's different?" Helena slurred, the last shot or two she'd downed finally beginning to kick in. She pressed her palm against the wall, trying to steady herself as the spins began to take over and a sickening nausea began to climb up her throat, pushed upward by the constricting emptiness of her stomach and the sour burning of the vodka.
"Maybe it isn't, I just worded it wrong. What I meant is that I don't want to fire you, I didn't even want to suspend you, but the way you behave leaves me no other options, I can't just ignore and excuse your violent outbursts," Hunnigan explained.
"But violent outbursts are the only thing I'm good at!"
"I'm beginning to see that," Hunnigan mumbled.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you," Helena then said, her words becoming ironic a couple of seconds later when she tripped on the trash bags she'd gathered into the foyer but hadn't bothered taking into the Dumpster and as she fell, she pulled Hunnigan down with her, causing her to bruise her side when she fell on the small table, sending the small woven basket that housed unpaid bills on it to fly across the room, the papers fluttering out from it once it landed.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Helena kept repeating as they got back up again. "I'm sorry," she said once more, gripping Hunnigan's shoulder with her left hand as the right one found its way to the back of Hunnigan's neck.
"Let me make it up to you," Helena said and pulled on Hunnigan, rising to stand on her toes a little to be able to close the gap between the two of them, planting her lips onto Hunnigan's roughly enough to almost bruise them.
"Helena, stop," Hunnigan said into the kiss, nudging her head backward to escape the tip of Helena's tongue that was quickly finding its way into Hunnigan's mouth.
"Oh, come on, you know what they say; kiss and make up," Helena said, leaning toward Hunnigan again, pushing herself tightly against Hunnigan's body, wrapping her arm around her midsection and squeezing tightly.
"You're hurting me," Hunnigan grunted when Helena's arm pressed against the already bruised spot in her side.
"I promise I'll be gentle, just come to bed."
"God damn it, Helena, stop it!"
"Come on, please? Don't act like you wouldn't wanna do it, I know you would, I've seen how you look at me, like I'm a piece of meat you wanna take a bite out of," Helena said, her hand still firmly gripping the back of Hunnigan's neck as she tugged on her, backing toward the living room which doubled as her bedroom (and her dining room, the rare times she ate at home these days).
"I would never look at you like a piece of meat, I'm a pescetarian," Hunnigan said sheepishly.
"Let go of me, get some sleep and sober up!" she then yelled and finally yanked herself free from Helena's hold when Helena let herself fall back onto the bed.
"Hey, if it's because you prefer dick, then let me tell you, I've got enough toys to make sure I'm second to no male!" Helena proclaimed rather proudly and Hunnigan would've laughed had the situation been anything but this.
"Please, just stop," she sighed.
"Would you unlock my phone? I can't remember my puke," Helena then asked and Hunnigan frowned at the sudden change of the subject. She was about to ask about it when Helena spoke again.
"Don't leave."
"Helena..."
"Everybody always leaves me."
"Good God," Hunnigan scoffed in disbelief. Helena didn't speak, she merely turned to lay on her side and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, her sobs silent but still easy to notice.
Hunnigan sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through Helena's hair in long, slow strokes until Helena finally fell asleep. Sighing deeply, Hunnigan got up and took a moment to look around the small apartment.
It was clean aside from the garbage bags piled in the foyer and, as Hunnigan soon discovered, the kitchen. It smelled like stale cigarettes and old booze. The counter was overflowing with empty bottles, judging from their labels they'd once contained whiskey, gin, vodka and rum. Thankfully, there didn't seem to be any leftover food rotting away in the sink which was good at least.
"Annnd there's an image I won't be able to get out of my head anytime soon... she sure wasn't joking," Hunnigan mumbled to herself when she looked to the sink which was was cluttered with carelessly rinsed sex toys, copious amounts of dried white streaks staining the surfaces ranging from cyber skin and silicone to plain plastic vibrators.
"Not touching that," she said, meaning it literally and otherwise as she decided not to think about it or the people Helena may have used said toys with. Of course, there was a possibility she'd just used them on herself, and frankly, that was a scenario Hunnigan much preferred. She wished she could've said she preferred that just because it would've meant the risk of Helena having gotten herself infected with a sexually transmitted disease became obsolete, but that wasn't the entire truth. The truth was she found herself feeling sickeningly jealous when she unwillingly conjured up a mental image of Helena fucking a series of faceless strangers.
Not touching that, she told herself again, determined to banish the idea from her head.
Hunnigan looked through the cabinets and drawers until she found the trash bags. She collected the litter from the counters into them and took them into the foyer, deciding she'd done enough when she remembered Helena's drunken request regarding her phone. She assumed Helena had been referring to her personal unlock key rather than actual puke when she'd said it. Hunnigan certainly hoped so.
Hunnigan glanced at the sleeping woman and sighed quietly, kneeling beside the bed and reached to pat Helena down.
"…get your fucking hands off me," Helena grumbled angrily in her sleep. Hunnigan happily obliged after discovering the phone in Helena's front pocket. She slipped it out and looked around the room, located the USB-cord for it and made her way over to Helena's laptop that sat on the desk by the window.
Judging from the label glued to the edge of it, it was Helena's work laptop, and knowing how lazy Helena could be with basic security measures, Hunnigan tried out the default password. It came as no surprise that the computer welcomed her. Once logged in, Hunnigan plugged the phone to the laptop with the USB-cord. It took her mere moments to delete Helena's lock settings.
Thank God I'd rooted her phone, Hunnigan mused. She routinely did that only to Leon and Helena's phones nowadays after discovering how clumsy they both tended to be with their devices.
She found a piece of paper and a pen to leave Helena a note and finally, slowly and quietly exited the apartment.