Not Good Enough
Kagome sees Inuyasha and Kikyo and decides that perhaps there is no room for her in Feudal Japan.
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Inuyasha. I do not.
--
Sitting in front of Kaede's hut, Kagome stared out into the grey sky, thinking of what they would do during the final battle against Naraku. Heaving a great sigh, Kagome stood up, wanting to stretch her legs. Sango and Miroku had flown towards a neighboring village after hearing about a demon raid. Shippo had gone with them insisting that he was bored and needed something to do.
Inuyasha and Kagome remained in the Goshinboku Village, incase any problems should arouse. Inuyasha disappeared earlier that morning saying he needed to take care of some business, leaving a bored and rather alone Kagome trying to entertain herself with basically nothing.
Toying with the jewel shards around her neck, Kagome stood up and decided to talk a walk in the forest. Slinging her quiver filled with arrows around her shoulder, Kagome grabbed her bow before silently treading into the forest. Sighing once again, she headed straight towards the Goshinboku.
Where I first met Inuyasha, She thought to herself as she saw the large tree towering over her. It's gnarled roots curved up into the world before piercing the mud, traveling god knew how far into the core of the planet. An old tree, surviving decades of hardships endured Inuyasha's life and even Kagome's life in the future, Kagome held great respect for it.
Taking a step onto one of the roots, she studied the scar on the tree that was left from when Kikyo pinned Inuyasha. Running her fingers softly over the scar, she felt a sort of relief mixed with pain as she studied the scar. This was exactly where Kikyo parted with Inuyasha.
And where I met him. She concluded in her mind. Hopping off of the roots, Kagome walked around the tree and proceeded deeper into the forest.
If Inuyasha caught me now, she thought dryly to herself, I would be in so much trouble.
-x-
"How much of the shards have you collected thus far, Inuyasha?" An ancient shrine maiden asked as she stood in front of a tough, and rather indifferent, half dog demon.
"A lot," he scoffed out, trying to keep his manly façade in tact. This was the woman he died for and in his mind; images reeled of when she tried to kill him and Kagome.
"Exactly how much?" Kikyo raised a brow and Inuyasha crossed his arms, gruffly.
"Enough for that bastard Naraku to come and try to kill me and my damn pack! Why do you want to know so badly, Kikyo?"
Shaking her head and smiling softly she said nothing. This annoyed Inuyasha greatly. Those who knew him knew that whenever he asked a question, rhetorical or not, he expected a response. Kagome knew that well.
"Answer me!" He demanded and she sighed, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. That shocked Inuyasha greatly as he took a step closer towards her, dropping his ice barrier.
"Do you know how I feel?" She whispered so low that almost he didn't hear her. "To be dead yet alive? To have you yet not have you? I am not of this world, Inuyasha but you aren't of my world. When we died, you promised you'd always be with me and I want to take you with me, down to hell… but you won't leave unless you defeated Naraku."
Somehow, though he didn't really particularly know why, Kagome's smiling face shot into his mind and his heart pace quickened. Just the thought of her made him feel high and mighty, he only knew how her touch and how her voice and how her real being made him feel.
Thinking of Kagome while I'm talking to Kikyo? Keh, get a hold of your damn self Inuyasha. He told himself. Pay attention to the wench in front of you, not the wench waiting for you.
"Naraku's a long way away," Inuyasha said slowly, "and I won't know what'll happen in the final outcome."
"You've change," Kikyo cut him off; "you were always so sure you were going to win."
Inuyasha merely shook his head. "Arrogant, yeah. Sure if I'm always gonna win? Never."
"You always were." Kikyo challenged. "When you fought that giant lizard for me back fifty years ago…"
"Lizards are easy to fight."
"Then name one time when you were sure you were going to lose?"
Inuyasha couldn't help himself. It came out before he could even realize what he said…
"When I thought Kagome was dead…"
-x-
Kagome ventured pretty deep into the forest and started panicking slightly. Inuyasha knew these forests inside out, not her. If she lost track of her landmarks and where she was, she could be venturing in the forest until Inuyasha realized that she was indeed missing.
Sucking in a deep shot of breath, she headed towards where she saw light. Silently walking, as to not wake any dormant demons, Kagome walked past low branches and pushed hanging vines to continue her path in the forest. She wasn't wearing her school uniform either, but rather cargo capris and a white t-shirt. All of her uniforms were damaged and her mother had ordered more from her school.
Hearing something, Kagome pulled out an arrow and hid behind a tree. Peeking out, her eyes widened seeing Inuyasha and Kikyo, speaking to one another. Gulping and trying to push the slight tinge of jealousy and anger, Kagome advanced forward, in hopes of trying to find out what they were talking about. She had arrived in time, just after Inuyasha had said what he thought was a moment he knew he lost.
Kagome, however, didn't hear his response…
-x-
"I see," Kikyo murmured, "so that, you say to see, is a moment where you knew you lost?"
Inuyasha shrugged, "There've been more. Ryuukotsusei was close and even that attack against Naraku. I ain't invincible Kikyo."
"I know that," She whispered, "so what happened to the promise you made me that you'd always be there for me, always protect me--?"
Inuyasha gulped. He was praying she didn't ask that question. Two promises, one for Kikyo and one for Kagome and he had, a long time ago, made up his mind that he was willing to break Kikyo's promise if it meant that he could have Kagome longer. Kikyo was his past, Kagome was his present and future and he would be damned if he let her go.
Kikyo wanted him human.
Kagome wanted him for who he was and that was something he wasn't willing to forget.
"I'll always protect you," he whispered as he took a step forward. He was so into the moment he hadn't noticed the rustling in the bushes behind him, or the heavy ragged breathings from Kagome. His eyes were trained on Kikyo and the moment. His mind, occasionally, wondered off to the brown-eyed object of his attraction, but he forced himself to come back to reality.
He had to end this between him and Kikyo. Because of Kikyo, so many were hurting. Kagome for one, because every time he ran away, he knew Kagome hurt badly. Because of Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, Sango and Kirara also hurt. She was the life and spunk of the pack and when she was feeling down, so were the rest.
Inuyasha hurt, for the fact he promised two women the same thing, yet he could only carry it out for one of them and he knew that Kikyo hurt because of the fact Inuyasha always left her for the others.
Kikyo stepped towards him too and caught in the lust in his eyes, she embraced him. Wanting to feel the man she loved for the last time, perhaps, because she knew that his heart didn't belong to her any longer. Holding onto him tightly, Inuyasha hesitantly brought his hands up and wrapped it softly around Kikyo, hugging her, for what he felt, was for a final time.
"I love you," Kikyo whispered.
-x-
Kagome fought the tears straining to come out. She saw him advance to her, she saw Kikyo hug him and she even heard Kikyo's declaration of love. Not wanting to witness what, Kagome had thought, was going to happen next; she shot up, not caring if her legs pounded against the forest floor, not caring if her tears were so evidently flooding from her eyes, not caring that her sobs were slowly starting to take over. Kagome ran. She ran as far as she could as fast as she could so she wouldn't have to witness what was happening between Inuyasha and Kikyo.
She saw Inuyasha and heard him when he said he'd always protect Kikyo. The hug—Kikyo's declaration.
Everything.
I'm just coming between them. She thought sadly to herself. Kagome always had a feeling that she as another hurdle in their long journey of satisfactory love, but she never knew that her feeling was right.
Her tears came out faster as she ran into Kaede's hut. Thanking God that Kaede wasn't there, Kagome started shoving her few belongings into her pack. She didn't want to remain in Feudal Japan any longer. Feeling the weight of being a burden weigh her down, she wanted release.
Not wanting to be the villain in Kikyo and Inuyasha's love story, Kagome decided to leave.
Leave and never come back.
-x-
Inuyasha brought out of his trance when he heard shuffling behind him, pounding of footsteps and the scent of salt.
Tears. He thought. Harshly, Inuyasha pulled Kikyo away from him and saw that she wasn't crying.
If Kikyo wasn't crying…then… His nose caught the scent…
Kagome!
Kikyo was confused as she looked up at him.
"Inuyasha?" She asked, hesitantly as he growled scathingly, turning around and looking into the forest.
"SHIT!" He cursed as he took a few steps forward. Readying his legs to start running, he was about to bound off when Kikyo caught his arm. Turning his head, he looked at her with a rude expression.
"I need to go." Inuyasha's simple explanation but Kikyo shook her head.
"Defeat Naraku," She whispered, "avenge my death. That's all I ask. Avenge me, and keep Kagome happy."
His eyes widened as Kikyo took a few steps back. "Goodbye," She murmured. Knowing this was the final time Inuyasha would ever see Kikyo, he gave her a nod. Turning around, his mind was set on one thing, and one thing alone.
Dammit, why'd you venture into the forest when I told you never to go in alone! Kagome!!
-x-
"Inuyasha?"
"I need you with me Kagome," he whispered. "Haven't you realized that yet?"
Memories flooded into Kagome's mind as she slung the backpack over her shoulder. She started running towards the Bone Eaters well, the shards hanging off of her neck, bouncing back and forth.
"NO! DON'T DIE ON ME STUPID GIRL!"
Inuyasha's infamous line during Yura of the Demon Hair.
"KAGOME! NO! GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY BITCH AND BRING KAGOME BACK!"
Inuyasha's threats when Kaguya, Maiden of the Moon had kidnapped Kagome. She wasn't fully unconscious. She was awake enough to hear him call out his demanding threats as she was being carried away.
"I love you," Kagome murmured, "I love you as a half demon, Inuyasha!" Standing up on her tip toes, Kagome planted her lips onto Inuyasha's, trying to calm his demon. Ignoring the cuts in her body and her depleting energy, Kagome remained in the arms of a dangerous demon, in hopes of returning him back to normal.
Inuyasha's features returned to that of his originality and he noticed the human in his arms. Shocked, at first, he leaned forward and gave her a chaste kiss.
"Are you okay, Inuyasha?" Kagome squeaked and Inuyasha crushed her into a bear hug.
"Dammit wench! Why'd you do that?! You could've been seriously hurt!"
More tears escaping her lids, Kagome remembered every moment they had together and knew that in her heart, she would miss all of them. Especially Inuyasha. Making it to the well, Kagome turned around, drinking in for the last time of Feudal Japan. Having her share in her memories, she slipped off the jewel shards from her neck and put them on the lip of the well. Turning around, Kagome looked inside of the cold and empty well, marking this as the last time she was traveling through time.
Getting up onto the lip, Kagome was about to jump through when a voice, a certain disgruntled voice, made her stop.
"And just where do you think you're going?"
Snapping her head around, she saw Inuyasha standing a few feet away from her, his arms crossed, an annoyed expression adorning his face. He looked like how he always did and Kagome used all of her willpower to try and keep herself from crying. Dropping the pack beside her leg, she sighed heavily as she turned around and looked at the object of her love straight in the eyes.
"Home." A daring reply, even in the ears of Inuyasha. Small triangular ears tweaking wildly, he growled as he took a step towards Kagome.
"And why?"
"Just because," Kagome shrugged, "it's about time I let the people I care about remain happy."
"Happy?!" Inuyasha spat out, "Happy you say. Think about this, with you gone, Shippo has no mother figure. You think he'll be happy? With you gone, Sango has no living sibling, you think she'll be happy? With you gone, Miroku has no backup for his fucking perverted hand, not saying that that's not a bad thing, but still, that bastard won't be happy!"
Kagome felt the tears well up in her eyes again and she stood her ground, ready to defy Inuyasha.
"Sango is just as good of a mother figure as I am to Shippo! She'd do fine! Miroku's wandering hand only wishes to touch Sango and Kohaku, as of this moment in time, is not dead."
"Stop fucking talking back, wench!" Inuyasha snarled. "You're leaving, for no apparent reason, and obviously for good or else you wouldn't have taken off the damn shards and you can't even give me a good enough explanation!"
Inuyasha wanted to hear, from her lips, that she didn't like it when he ran to Kikyo. He wanted to provoke her enough so that she said it. He wasn't about to let her go; he never intended on letting her go.
"I'M LEAVING BECAUSE I'M NOT WANTED HERE!" Kagome shrieked. Inuyasha's anger was only fueling hers and she was about explode. Raising a brow, he took a step towards her.
"Not wanted here? That ain't a good enough reason."
"What did you say?" Kagome hissed, quite taken back by his attitude.
"I said," he murmured, "not good enough."
An image of Inuyasha kissing Kikyo popped into her mind and her tears started building up again. That caught Inuyasha off guard.
"The hell. Why you crying wench?"
"Leave me alone!" She sobbed, sinking to her knees, "Why not just go to Kikyo! You always seem to do that. Whenever anything happens its Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo! When you first met me you thought I was Kikyo, whenever I fight you compare me to Kikyo! So you know, I just thought I'd remove myself so you can be with her!"
Inuyasha's heart tore with every word she said. Crouching down to his knees, he used his middle finger and index finger to lifted Kagome's ducked head so that he could peer into her eyes.
"And what made you think that?" His voice and tone softened considerably. A cool breeze spun around them and their bangs flew to the side. Sniffling, Kagome moved her hand from his fingers.
"I saw you with her," She admitted. If this was the last time she would see him, might as well leave him with him knowledgeable of how she felt.
"Oh really?" Inuyasha raised a brow. "Disobeying my rules of entering the forest without me?"
Kagome scowled. "Of all the nerve! Is that what you can think of at a time like this?"
He chuckled and Kagome was confused.
Why is he laughing?! She thought wildly to herself. Shaking his head, he stood up and lifted Kagome to her feet.
"You assume too much, think too much, talk too much and wonder too much wench." He said and Kagome frowned.
"Yeah that's it, name all of my faults."
Shaking his head, Inuyasha unexpectedly lifted Kagome up bridal style and, making sure he grabbed the shards, jumped towards the Goshinboku. Kagome was shocked and had no way to respond to his actions.
"Alright," Inuyasha sat comfortably on the tree with Kagome on his lap.
"Why is it that you wanted to leave?" He raised a brow and Kagome snorted.
"Take a wild guess. Put me down!" She cried but Inuyasha didn't comply. Instead, he held onto her even tighter, disregarding her commands ultimately.
"I'll it you Inuyasha!"
"Yeah and you come with me." He snorted in response and Kagome growled in frustration.
"You won't even let me leave dramatically!"
"How is it fucking dramatic when you're leaving after seeing Kikyo and me together?" Inuyasha finally blew up. "You think I didn't notice you?!"
"Well if you did why the hell are you asking?" Kagome was just as badmouthed as Inuyasha was and she wasn't afraid to let her temper break.
"Were you even there for the entire damn conversation wench?!"
"I was there for the most important part!!"
Taking in a deep breath, he looked at her sharply. "Were you there when I told Kikyo that I loved you?!"
Kagome's heart stopped beating as she heard his declaration of love. Making no moves to speak, Inuyasha continued. "Kikyo was talking to me about the promise I made her and I told her I couldn't. We kept on talking and she asked me, what one moment in time was where I thought I had lost everything."
Kagome took in a sharp intake of air.
"I said it was when I thought the Band of Seven almost killed you. I think she realized that I wouldn't go to hell with her…she—gave herself to me, one last time."
Kagome had no response to that. She remained quiet and motionless and Inuyasha sighed heavily. Alright, so he just revealed his deepest emotion to her and she had nothing to say. Cursing to himself, he made Kagome face him.
"Kagome?"
"Shut up." She hissed coldly and he was taken back. Not knowing what to do, he shifted her so that she was straddling him and her face was facing his.
"Kagome?"
"Why are you always like that?" She asked, tears in her eyes. "It's either about you, or nothing. You go to Kikyo and when I get hurt, I have to stay because you want me to stay. I need a reason to stay so you tell me that you love me, which is why I stay—why is it always about you?!"
Inuyasha raised a brow, pointedly confused.
"If I tell you right now I hated you and never wanted to see you again, would you let me leave?" Kagome asked softly and Inuyasha's eyes lowered.
"Would you?"
"Yes." He murmured and Kagome sighed.
"If I tell you that I don't like it when you run off to Kikyo and that I wanted you to stay with me all the time because I loved you, what would you do?"
Inuyasha was shocked, his eyes meeting hers. Remaining quiet for a moment, he said the first thing that came to his mind. "What would you want me to do?"
Awestruck by his answer, Kagome said to him what she wanted the most. "Kiss me."
Not knowing if he should or not, he kept on staring into Kagome's eyes. Never breaking contact with him, she spoke again. "Do you love me?" She whispered and he nodded.
"I love you," he murmured, "wench I've loved you for way too long."
Giggling awkwardly, Kagome inched towards him slightly. "I love you too." She whispered. "And I know you have feelings for Kikyo and all but…"
"Now you shut up," Inuyasha scathed out. "Kikyo was fifty years ago wench, she's moved on, I've moved on. She went to hell saying she wanted me to kill Naraku for her. That I can do. She also said to… keep you happy."
Kagome raised a brow. "Oh really?"
Smirking, Inuyasha nodded. "Avenge Kikyo I can do…keep you happy, that's another story."
"Ehh! What is that supposed to mean?!"
"Wench! When I help you, you hate me. When I don't help you, you hate me—there is never a damn moment in time where you appreciate me."
Snorting, Kagome looked away from him, sticking her nose in the air. "If I always hated you, would I be sitting in a tree telling you I loved you?"
Laughing, Inuyasha brought her back to him. "And now we end our half-existent fight with a kiss." He instructed as Kagome had a small smile playing on her lips.
"Who says I'm kissing you, hanyou." She said, teasingly. Catching the laughter in her voice, Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"Oh I don't know—me."
And their lips touched…
.o.w.a.r.i.