Title: I Wish, I Wish
Word Count: 7,229
Summary: Post S7: Musa thinks about the star trinket that sits on her bedside table - and the wish waiting for her inside it - much more than she should.
Rating: T (mentions of sex)
Characters: Musa, among others
A/N: See end
Notes: [4.16.16] This story is also available at Archive Of Our Own, also under emberfire411
At nights when Musa can't sleep, she finds herself reaching out to grip the star trinket that rests on her bedside table between her alarm clock and the framed picture of her mother. She'll juggle it between her hands, the weight familiar in her palms, and think about the nymph inside waiting to grant a single wish as she stares at the posters on her ceiling. She knows she's only one left to use her Sirenix wish, but it seems as though the others have forgotten because they all used their own wishes within weeks of receiving them. It makes her feel special (because she's put time into thinking of what it would be) and indecisive (because she's put so much time into figuring out what she wants).
She's gotten close to opening it, putting her fingers to the clasp of the charm and willing herself to press it. Maybe they'll stay there for a bit, but Musa always drags them away before too long, puts the trinket back, turns over, and tries to go back to sleep.
More often than not, Musa feels like it's mocking her.
"Hey Musa," Flora peeks her head into the fairy's room. "Are you staying here for the Day of the Rose?"
It's Wednesday night, and the Day of the Rose is on Friday. Musa knows because along with it being a day off from school, Stella hasn't stopped talking about it all week. Every other sentence is praising the gods above she doesn't have to commute to different castles in the same day now that her parents are back together. It's been driving everyone insane, but Musa's been the most annoyed, for obvious reasons. "Yeah," the music fairy sits up on her bed. "I take it you're going to make it a long weekend trip and need me to water your plants while you're gone?"
"I'll bring back your favorite black forest tea as payment." she grins sheepishly.
Musa laughs. "Well I can't so no to that."
Flora smiles, and steps into the room and closes her door. Her face turns more serious. "I know you're the only one staying. Again."
She shrugs. "It's no big deal. My dad's busy doing some composition work anyway. It'd just be me at home. Plus it's not really a pleasant day for either of us." True enough Musa's father had made a better effort when she was younger, going to primary school dances and taking her out for ice cream on the day-of to dull the pain in both their hearts, but after a while he and Musa had come to the consensus that the day was not and never would be happy for either of them. As such, the ice cream and dances stopped, and after visiting her mother's grave in the morning, they would go home and spend the rest of the day in their respective rooms. Musa didn't think highly of the day anymore.
"You're more than welcome to come back with me for the weekend," Flora was saying. "Or even Bloom. I think she's going to Earth. Mike and Vanessa would love for you to visit, you know that."
"I know," Musa bites her lip. "I don't want to intrude on anyone's holiday. And you know I like to spend it alone. It's better that way."
Flora purses her lips, and Musa can already tell what she wants to say. Spending all that time alone isn't good for you. You should work out these feelings. You can't spend every year moping like this.
But after a few moments, the nature fairy shakes her head and smiles. "Alrighty. Well if you change your mind, just give me a call, okay?"
"Okay." Then, to appease her, Musa continues: "I talked to the boys. Sky, Brandon, and Nex are going to be around, and we decided to hit the club on Friday night instead. And Aisha's going to come back for it, too. I won't spend the whole weekend sulking in my room."
She sees relief go across Flora's face. "Well that's good. I'm sure you'll have fun."
"Yeah. Look, I'm fine Flo. Really. It's just something I've learned to deal with."
"I know, I know. It's just...we still worry about you. All of us."
Musa smiles, but it's more to comfort her. "I appreciate it. But I can take care of myself."
"That doesn't mean you have to," Flora hits her shoulder playfully, and Musa's smile turns genuine. "We're here for you if you wanna talk. Okay?"
"Yes, Mom."
Flora smirks. "You just cut your tea supply in half, young lady."
"Aww, Flo, come on!" Musa calls as Flora walks to the door. "That's not fair!"
"Sorry sweetie," Flora winks at her. "You're not my only customer."
Musa laughs and gets up to follow her into the commons room. "Alright, who do I have to fight to get the rest of my tea supply back?"
I wish my mother was still alive.
It's a fair wish. It makes sense. She misses her mother more than anyone in the whole world, and having her back would make things so much better. She would be happier, and so would her father. Her mother could make music, experience the world she was torn from at such a young age, and be there with her father to grow old.
But Musa thinks of her father's words when she visited Melody. His warning that bringing her mother back would not be a good thing. And Musa worries - vaguely - if her father had long ago accepted her death, and wouldn't want her back, strange as it sounded.
But did that mean Musa didn't have the right to want her back?
What would Mom even say if I did it?
Musa thinks about about it for a little while longer, then sighs and puts the box containing her Sirenix wish back on the table.
A soft noise rouses Musa from sleep, or at least from laying in her bed, trying to sleep. Alfea is an old school; over the years, Musa's become acquainted with the noises it makes as it settles in the night. Creaking floors and closing doors and water running through pipes that are running through magic water-heating chambers. She knows this noise is not associated with any of those things.
Minutes pass, and she hears it again, louder this time. And again.
She sits up in bed, listening more closely. A few seconds and it happens again, longer, and when Musa recognizes what it is she throws her feet over the side of the bed and gets up.
Someone's crying.
Musa sticks her head out the door and looks around the hallway. It's dark, the only light coming from the windows down in the common room. No lights show under any of the bedroom doors, but when she does a double take she sees a faint glow under the bathroom door. Avoiding the floorboards she knows squeak, Musa goes down the hall, the sound of muffled crying and hiccups becoming more pronounced. The bathroom door is closed, and Musa gives a soft knock before she inches it open and peeks her head inside. "Hello?"
She isn't sure what to expect, but it's definitely not Aisha, sitting against the wall opposite the shower with her legs drawn into her chest, face wet with tears.
"Aisha?" Musa says, louder, and the girl's head snaps in her direction. "Are you okay?"
"Musa," the other girl wipes at her eyes, but it's a fruitless effort. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake anyone up…"
"No, no, I wasn't ever asleep." Musa walks over and sits down on the cold tile, her back against the shower door. "You wanna tell me what's up?"
"I-It's stupid," Aisha says, her voice cracking, and she sighs in frustration.
"If you're this upset, it isn't stupid." Musa gives a small smile. "C'mon, you can talk to me. Did something happen with Nex?"
This is obviously not the right thing to say, because Aisha deep breath morphs into a small sob halfway through. Musa cringes slightly, but forces her face back to neutrality when Aisha opens her eyes again. "Nex...he - no. It's not about Nex. Not really."
Musa looks at her, unconvinced. She's about to say something, but then she notices something glisten in Aisha's hand, but she's gripping it too tightly to see what it is. She meets the girls eyes and gestures to it. After a moment, Aisha sighs and hands it over.
A delicate gold chain, a few feet long. It looks expensive and feels heavy. There's a circle attached to it, and Musa slides it up to get a better look at it…
And stops when she sees the inscription on it. "Your engagement ring. The one Nabu gave you."
Aisha bit back another sob and nodded. "It's getting close, you know. The anniversary of when…"
She doesn't finish, but Musa nods. She remembers.
"And I know it's been two years, and I should be better with my feelings about it but I'm not," Aisha stops for a minute and takes a few shaky breaths. "Things have been going well with Nex. Really well. But I feel so bad about it, like me being happy is cheating on him somehow -"
"What? No. Okay," Musa gets up and grabs some tissues from the counter, then goes over and sits down next to Aisha. She puts her arm around her and hands over the tissues, which Aisha takes gratefully, along with the necklace. "Aisha, you're allowed to miss Nabu. It doesn't make you a cheater or a bad person or anything like that. He was an important part of your life, and he didn't deserve to go the way he did.
"And look at how far you've come since then. You're still going out, seeing the world, and saving people. You didn't let your anger get the better of you - you're getting on with your life. And you're not forgetting him. None of us are. The fact you're still going strong, and you've found someone else who makes you happy...Nabu would be happy for you. You know that."
"I know, I know, but…" her breath hitches, and Musa knows she's about to break down again from that and the way she grips the necklace and holds it to her heart. "I just...there's last few days have just been reminders everywhere. And it shouldn't make me feel like this but it does and I miss him -"
Musa sighs, and goes over and turns the shower on. Water pours out of the head, a small bit of steam rising from it. The years at Alfea have taught her many things, and two in particular stick out in her mind. One, showers in the middle of the night are totally unquestionable actions. And two, the noise of the water running drowns out most ambient noise.
She goes back over and puts her arm around Aisha. "Let it out, girl. I'm here for you."
Aisha smiles, but it's full of sadness. The fairy of waves leans into her shoulder and - with the cover of the running water - sobs.
I wish Nabu was alive.
Nabu was Aisha's fiancé, first and foremost, but he had been a great friend to Musa. She remembers sitting up with him late one night on Earth after everyone else had gone to bed, talking about their home planets and what school was like, and then he had told her he was proposing to Aisha the next day. Musa was elated for them, and touched that he'd asked her for advice on proposing to her best friend. It made her realize what a vital piece of the group he was. Musa misses that piece.
But Musa reminds herself that the wish would impact everyone, not just herself. Nabu's family, friends, and especially Aisha. After going so long without Nabu, and now dating someone else, them getting back together - if they ever did - would be a long and bumpy road.
Nex also might hate her forever, but Musa can live with that. But she can't live with causing any unnecessary pain to her best friend. Or Nabu.
She glances over at the trinket on her bedside, and rolls over to try and sleep.
"We have a care package!"
Musa glances up from studying with Tecna as Bloom and Stella parade into the commons room, carrying a fairly large box between them.
"Vanessa is seriously the best," Stella says as they place it down on the coffee table with a thud. "Day of the Rose should be us celebrating her, but she sends stuff anyway. I really should look into giving her some seeds from the Solarian royal gardens; the flowers she could grow would be a hit in Gardenia."
Bloom laughs, reaching over for the scissors (ever since freshman year, she'd insisted a pair always be around). "I'm sure she'd like them Stel, but you know she does it because she loves you guys, not out of obligation."
"Still, the sentiment is very nice," Tecna pipes up, going over to help open the box. "She always sends things for us now along with you."
"Yeah, she only adopted one of us, not all six," Musa snickers.
Bloom just rolls her eyes and cuts through the tape at the top. Once it's free she reaches in, pulling out smaller boxes. "Tecna," she hands a purple and orange striped one over.
Despite her previous remark, Tecna still takes said box with a twinkle in her eye.
"Musa," Stella hands a smaller one over, and the music fairy reaches over and takes it. The packaging is light, and after a minute Musa realizes - to her delight - they're CDs.
"You're mom rocks, Bloom," Musa says, already tearing into the packaging. Her suspicions are proven correct - three CDs, and a few guitar picks that are probably from Andy (she hasn't kept in touch with him, but every now and then he'll throw something in for them, be it his own albums or guitar strings. She looks more carefully at one of the CD covers and shrieks. "I was looking for this one for months when we lived on Earth! I thought for sure they only had it as a digital album!"
"Never underestimate," Bloom laughs. "The lady who runs the thrift shop down the street saves good stuff for her to look through."
Musa squealed in delight and leaned back on the couch. "A real copy of Pink Beach from the band Carnival! I'm in heaven!"
"I can't believe you liked them so much...ooh, my favorite handmade lotion for the farmer's market!" Stella trails off and holds the bottle close to her chest.
"Hey, not like, love. These guys were one of the bands that made me really consider going into music again. They're like, my Earth idols. Like the way you obsess over Spella McCartney?"
Stella just shrugs. "They're a good brand, what can I say? Oh, Bloom! Did you give her the other one?"
"Oh yeah! This was in the mailroom for you too, Musa. It's from your dad." Bloom reaches behind the box and pulls out a smaller envelope, handing it over.
Musa sighs. "Thanks."
Tecna raises an eyebrow. "Not excited to get a letter?"
The music fairy laughs bitterly. "I wish it was, but I've gotten enough of them to know...yep," she tilts it on its side and watches papers fly out. "Summer job applications."
Bloom reaches down and picks one up. "What's so bad about it? I work during the summer."
"Look at them," Musa implores, and Bloom does. "Interning at accounting offices, sailing instructor in Song Wharf, working on potions. They have nothing to do with music."
The others give her confused looks, and she continues. "My dad does this every year; it's his not-so-subtle way of telling me he doesn't want me to do music stuff. He's only reverted to mailing me applications because when we talked about them over the phone, I'd fight with him. He just doesn't get how important music is to me...which is really stupid given he still works in it."
The others exchanged glances. "He's probably just worried you'll get hurt like he did or something," Bloom says, obviously trying to be helpful. "I'm sure it isn't personal."
Musa huffs. "It feels personal. Like he doesn't believe if me."
"Musa that's crazy. You know he believes in you," Tecna points out. "You're letting your feelings get the better of you on this one."
"...Maybe." Musa says, but she doesn't believe it so much as she wants the girls to stop talking about it. "So are there some cookies in that box with my name on them or what?"
Bloom grins at that. "Mom only got five boxes, so someone has to take the hit."
"Then it should be Aisha, because she are half mine last time," Musa reaches in and plucks one of the boxes out, a smirk on her face.
I wish my Dad believed in me.
That is a wish Musa thinks of often, with few negative traits associated. For years she's heard the same things from her father about how silly it was to chase after her musical aspirations, even though he knew how much they meant to her. It makes her feel like he doesn't have faith in her, because of his own failures early on with her mother. But Musa isn't her mom, and if it takes a magical wish to show her father that, she's ready to risk it.
But her hand always stills as she reaches for the star. Musa wanted her dad to believe in her because she was talented, not because of a spell. While the support would be appreciated, there would always be that little voice of guilt whenever her father would compliment her, and the question; did he say that because he believes it, or because of the wish?
Musa hates that Sirenix box, and yanks the blanket over her head.
Her phone rings at seven thirty, just as she finishes painting a red color on her lips. She's supposed to head out for a night with Aisha; club hopping and dancing the night away like when they were younger. But the caller isn't Aisha; it shows an unknown number and the ringtone is different.
"Hey, Musa."
Despite everything, she feels a smile come over her face. "Hey Riven. What's happening?"
"Nothing much. It was a boring day and I had a few extra bucks I spent on a call card to ring my dad for the Day of the Rose, thought I'd use the extra to check up before my cell phone's dead."
"Yeah. It's been quiet around here, too." She fingers a button on her blouse. "Where are you?"
"Planet Oppositus. Been here a week, but I'll probably be heading out in the next day or so."
"Oh yeah? Where to?"
"Earth, I think. It's cheaper there than anywhere in the dimension, plus I kind of miss fast food burgers."
Musa couldn't hide her laugh. "We certainly don't have double-cheese mc-anything here."
He laughs with her, and something about it makes her heart ache. "No, we don't. How is everyone?"
"Aisha's been in a kind of funk for the last few days. Two years since...you know."
"I've been thinking about Nabu a lot. Guess I never realized what a guy he was until it was too late."
She smiles. "Well you two didn't exactly get off on the right foot."
"I was a jealous, man." he shoots back lightly. "But in all seriousness; you guys are keeping an eye on her?"
"We are. I think we might go to Tir Nan Og to visit the site. Maybe it'll help."
"Sounds like a good idea."
Musa pauses, debating if she should say the words at the back of her mind. "...You're more than welcome to come, too."
It's silent for a few seconds. "I might go on my own time when I get to Earth. But for now, I'll hang back. If I really want to try and change, I need to do what I said I would."
"Yeah…" she trails off into the slightly awkward silence. She'd expected an answer like that, even though part of her hoped he'd come back for a bit, for Nabu's sake. "Is it helping?"
There's another pause. "Is what helping?"
"Traveling. Trying to...find yourself. Is it helping?"
"Yeah," he answers quickly and clearly, which tells Musa he isn't playing her. "I really think it is. I feel… it's hard to explain, but I finally feel like I'm at peace, you know?"
"Yeah," Musa says again, finally noticing the fingertips on her other hand are turning white from gripping the lipstick tube so hard. She lets go and shakes off the twinges of pain that go through them.
"Musa? You okay?"
He's happy. He sounds so happy and calm and Riven has not sounded like this for the longest time. The tone of voice he has is often just part of her memory, accompanied with the phrase 'the good old days.' He's relaxed and cracking jokes and happy, and for the first time Musa has to accept the fact that this happiness has nothing to do with her. In fact, she may have been part of the reason said happiness had never shown itself (though the Trix, Tritanus, and the Legendarium were probably more responsible). She tries to ignore those thoughts, but just finds a sad smile when she looks in the mirror.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."
I wish Riven loved me again.
Musa doesn't even look at the trinket when the thought crosses her mind; less so in the last few months, but still more often than she'd like. The question was not if Riven loved her anymore; she knew he did, and she still loved him. But they hadn't worked; there was no amount of spells that could fix that.
She knows that's a lie though, as she lies awake and begrudgingly moves her eyes slightly towards the edge of the bed. She could make Riven love her again; love her and stay. And maybe him being less of a jerk would make things better for everyone overall. He would thank her.
But Riven was doing that on his own. And if Musa interfered, the man she would have around wouldn't be Riven. Not really. And if he ever found out, he'd never forgive her.
She never gets back to sleep after running through that particular scenario, and moves the trinket aside to turn her alarm off and go study.
The clubs in Magix are surprisingly full, given it's the Day of the Rose, but Musa thinks its better than having them be empty. The boys don't seem to mind it either, making their way back with drinks in their hand.
"One Western Sunrise," Sky passes Musa a short, bright orange drink with an umbrella in it.
"And a Blue Lagoo," Nex hands a different, dark green drink to Aisha, who takes it with a smile.
"Thanks guys."
"No problem," Brandon says, even though he hadn't carried a drink that wasn't his. "Half price anyway since it's holiday."
"Isn't that the other way around, normally?" Musa asks, taking a sip of her drink.
"Hey don't ask me," Sky grins. "Less money spent the better."
"Yeah, whatever, your Highness," Nex smirks, and glances towards the speakers as the beat changes and a different song starts. "Oh, this one's great! Dance with me, Aisha!"
The girl laughs and sets her drink down on their table. "You guys coming?" she calls over her shoulder.
Sky holds up his drink, and Musa and Brandon follow suit.
Aisha laughs. "Suit yourself!" she slips her hand into Nex's and they disappear in the crowd.
Musa's grin fades once they're gone. "What number drink is she on?" she leans over the table to Brandon. "Four? Five?"
"Five. But I asked the guy not to put any alcohol in it, just extra lime soda." he winks at her. "Gotta keep an eye on our girl. Nex wouldn't do anything stupid, but she still should take it slow; it's only hour three of our night on the town, after all."
"You know it's just because of Nabu," Sky points out. "I feel kind of bad deceiving her about it. We should just talk to her."
Musa knows he's right, especially given the scene in the bathroom a few nights ago, but she bites her lip. "Maybe when it's over? You know she doesn't like talking about Nabu in front of Nex."
"But it's not like Nex doesn't know he was her fiancé. He's cool with it."
Musa rolls her eyes. "Like you talk about your ex-fiancé around Bloom all the time?"
Sky's cheeks redded. "Diaspro's different, you know that."
"But she raises a point," Brandon says, and puts his drink up. "To Nabu."
"To Nabu!" Musa and Sky echo, and clink their glasses.
"So what harrowing tales have we missed out on Musa?" Brandon asks.
Musa thinks back to the phone call she received hours ago. "Riven says hello. He's on Oppositus."
Brandon nods. "Doing okay?"
"Seems like it. I asked if he wanted to come with us to visit Nabu's gave…" she trails off, implying the answer by her lack of explanation.
Sky smiles sympathetically. "It's not like he doesn't care anymore."
"I know, I know, but he's still being stupid about it! It's like he thinks I'm gonna cry if I ever see him again. Sooner or later we will at a wedding or when he starts classes again at Red Fountain."
"Maybe he's enjoying his freedom while it lasts," Sky pauses. "Though granted he still is an idiot."
Brandon rolls his eyes and takes a long drink. "You just figure that out? I thought him screwing a witch was the first sign of stupidity."
Musa stares at him blankly. "What?"
Sky's eyes widen and he hits Brandon upside the head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he snaps, but it's the tone of someone who's afraid they've been caught in a lie. Musa knows that tone; it's most commonly associated with guilt. She's missing a puzzle piece, and apparently judging by the slap she heard it's a large one.
"Sky?" He looks over at her, and she is certain the look on both of their faces is guilt. It makes her stomach churn. "What does he mean?"
"It's nothing."
"Sky."
"...She has a right to know." Brandon says quietly, next to him. "Especially if Riven never said."
"Never said what?" Musa sighs, exasperated. "Guys, come on, you're scaring me."
Sky glares at Brandon again, then sighs. "It was a long time ago. Like, the year-we-first-met-the witches long time ago."
"I know; I was there."
"It was when Riven was under Darcy's spell. He was always hanging out with her in Magix or at Cloud Tower. We thought he was just an ass back then, didn't know he was under a spell, so we didn't pay much attention to it. But one night…he got back late. A lot later than usual. He was acting like a conceited know it all, and much more than usual."
Musa looks between them. She had a sinking feeling in her stomach, like she knows where this is going but is hoping - praying - it isn't.
"I overheard him talking to some other guys in the dragon stables the next day," Brandon continues. His voice is softer, just audible over the club music. "About how he got with the hottest witch in Cloud Tower."
The sinking feeling turns to a freefall.
Sky sighs, looking ashamed. "Musa I'm sorry. I thought he told you."
"...No. I mean, we talked about him being under Darcy's spell, but...not much beyond that." Musa wraps her arms around herself. "He said he'd slept with other people before but I...I just didn't think of Darcy in that category."
"I shouldn't have brought it up." Brandon sighs. "I didn't mean to ruin the night."
Musa takes a deep breath. "No, you didn't. Nothing much can be done about it now." She looks around the club, still feeling a bit claustrophobic. "We were going to the outdoor club after this, right? To see the band? Think we could go now? I could use the fresh air."
"Of course," Sky puts his drink down. "We'll go find Aisha and Nex if you want to wait outside."
She smiles and nods, and the boys head out into the crowd. Her face drops when they're gone. She tilts her head back and finishes her drink off, then heads outside.
I wish I was a rockstar.
The thought crosses Musa's mind as she stands amongst the crowds of people, swaying to the music and watching the lead singer of Fly With Me up on stage, looking like she didn't have a care in the world beyond finishing the set as people in the front reached out their hands just to try and touch her. Musa wasn't stupid; she knew fame had more in store other than being idolized, but at the moment it sounded like a good deal. Who cared if someone you loved didn't believe in you or hurt you; there were thousands more waiting with baited breath to do whatever you say and sing your praises.
And rockstars don't have to worry about who used to sleep with their boyfriends, because they'd have never considered another girl in the first place.
It almost makes Musa turn and leave, take a portal back to Alfea, grab the box and make the wish before it's too late. But she doesn't. She doesn't because being a rockstar would be great - everything she'd wanted as a child - but it wouldn't solve her problems. She'd still have to worry about her father and the girls and everything else. She wasn't sure it would make her happy like she thought.
She glances around her group of friends; Sky and Brandon, Aisha, even Nex, though she doesn't know him well and probably won't because in all honesty she doesn't expect the relationship to last. They were still her friends, so even if she did make the wish, they would be right behind her to tell her how stupid it would be.
It's running from her problems, Musa knows that. And the only way to get rid of her problems was to face them head on.
"'lo?"
"Did you ever sleep with Darcy?"
"...Musa?"
"Did you?"
There's the sound of rustling sheets, and a click like a light being turned on. "...It's three in the morning," Riven finally says, and Musa can hear sleep in his voice. "And you want to ask me about a relationship I was in while partially hypnotized eight fucking years ago?"
The curse isn't angry, more like it's meant to illustrate disbelief. It doesn't worry Musa like it may have before. She glances across the room, her heels and her dress on the floor from where she'd peeled them off her body moments before she picked the phone up. "I just...I talked to Brandon earlier and I...I need to know."
"Why exactly is that?"
"Because I do, Riven!"
There's another pause, like he's ready to argue, but after another beat he sighs deeply. It sounds strange mixed with the static of the phone line. "It's foggy. From the day she put the spell on me to waking up in Cloud Tower's dungeon. Part of it's the spell, part of it is it happened so long ago, and part of it is trying to block it from my head."
Musa fists her night shirt in her hand. "You don't remember?" There's another pause. "Riven, please. I won't be angry, I promise. It's not like…" she trailed off, letting the implication of reality finish the sentence for her.
It's not like you were my boyfriend then. Or now.
"Just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean you'll be fine with any answer." he replies. "And it also wouldn't make anything that happened between us more or less real."
"I know that," Musa says, and she does. She remembers the night after the first royal ball on Domino; everyone passing out in random rooms across the guest wing because of too much champagne and dancing. She remembers the two of them - her and Riven - far more drunk off love than wine dancing for half the night - wandering through hallways and commenting on random paintings. She remembers worrying about finding her room in such a big palace before finally tossing worry out the window.
She remembers kissing him. She remembers the way her body felt, had never felt before, and now would never feel again. She remembers realizing how important it was waking up next to another person in the morning. The implication it brought, that somehow everything would always be okay.
She remembers being in love.
"I know, Riven," she says again.
There's another pause. "I think it happened. Once."
Musa shuts her eyes tightly. She'd figured as much, but figuring wasn't much of a consultation when she felt like she couldn't breathe. Riven was an idiot when he was sixteen; Musa knew that, and so did every one of their friends. Hell, she was an idiot when she was sixteen.
"You never told me."
"You asked if there was anyone else before you. I told you yes, to be safe."
"So there's a possibility there wasn't anyone else before me?"
"Yes," Riven says, but Musa knows him much better than he knows himself. Just like he knew her better. They'd picked up each other's quirks; ones you did so often you never noticed but others did. He constantly told her to stop worrying at the sides of her thumbs or she'd scrape all the skin off. She'd tell him not to lower his voice in a normal conversation or everyone would know he was lying.
She puts her free hand to her head and massages her temples. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah. Thanks for telling me."
He grunts in response. "Musa? Are you alright? I mean really alright, because the last few times I've talked to you you've seemed off."
"...Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks." She notices that she's repeating words and inwardly groans. "I'm sorry I bothered you. Goodnight."
She hangs up before he can respond.
I wish I'd never fallen in love with Riven.
Musa doesn't even get to listing the pros and cons in her head before she thinks of a phrase Bloom says when - to Flora's great disdain - another one of the beautiful bouquets she buys at the Magix Market on Sundays dies because she forgets to water it. Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.
Musa has always found it a stupid idiom to apply to flowers, but it makes sense it most other things. Forgetting everything Riven had been in her life - good and bad - wasn't worth getting rid of the good. No matter how upset she was.
The trinket catches the light of the moon and shines in Musa's eyes. She groans and shoves it into her bedside drawer and turns over, trying to sleep for at least a few hours before the hangover hits her.
"Is this seat taken?"
Musa glances up from the table, her eyes taking in a casually dressed boy with a coffee in his hand. Her eyes meet his, and she smiles. "Jared?"
He raises his free hand in greeting. "Long time no see, Musa. How are you?"
"I'm good! And yeah, sit. Please." She motions to the chair across from her, and Jared takes a seat.
"Someone had a long night," he observes with a smile, taking in her sunken eyes and sloppy ponytail.
Musa glares at him, though it's more friendly. "I had fun."
"Partying on the Day of the Rose? Tsk, tsk." He leans back on the chair. "Though to be fair I spent my night catering not only to my own parents, but my girlfriend's. So in the grand scheme of life, I think you win."
"I always knew I liked clubs for a reason," she smiles. "So you're still with the same girl? Alice, right?"
"Yeah. Going on four years now."
"Congratulations."
He laughs. "It's all her, I swear. Not many people can put up with me like she does. She brings out the best in me and represses the worst. I couldn't ask for anyone better."
Musa smiles politely, but she feels a twinge in her chest.
Jared obviously notices. "I ran into Helia a few weeks ago on campus. Everyone was curious why Riven suddenly took a semester off, and...I mean I'm sure you've heard this a million times before…"
"I have," Musa cuts him off and gives a real smile. "And maybe it's the hangover talking, but I would love to discuss anything else."
Thankfully, he laughs. "Alright, fair enough. Umm...how's the music coming?"
It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it's better than Riven. "Not bad. With any luck I'll spend the summer laying down some demo tracks back on Melody, not fighting bad guys every few months," Jared smiles at this, and Musa chuckles. "What about you?"
"Between you and me?" he leans in, and Musa follows suit. "Ring shopping."
"Ahh!" she hits his shoulder playfully. "That's awesome Jared!"
"Thanks. I'm done with my Red Fountain studies next month, and Alice finishes in the fall…" he trails off, a goofy grin on his face that Musa's seen on Sky's a million times. "I just think it's right, you know? When you know you know."
Musa doesn't know, or at least doesn't believe she does anymore. But she still nods. "Yeah. Well I won't say anything to Alice. Or Stella."
"Stella would almost be worse," Jared laughs, and grabs his phone from his pocket when it goes off. He reads it and after a moment his smile widens. "I gotta go. I'm being summoned for an emergency magical history study session."
"Don't let me keep you." Musa says, then stops for a second. "Hey, Jared?"
"Yeah?" he stands and shoves his phone back in his pocket.
"...If you had, like a rule free wish, what would you wish for?"
Jared stares at her. "Is this a trick question?"
"No. Just...a pet project of mine I'm working on."
He bites his lip. "Well...I'd like to think I'd pick something unselfish, like world peace or whatnot, but...I don't know. I think my own feelings would end up in the way, and I'd pick something like always be financially stable. I'd have to think about it for a bit, otherwise I'm going to give you a bullshit answer. If your number's still the same I can text you later?"
Musa smiles. "That'd be great. Thanks Jared. And congratulations. Really. You're going to make Alice a lucky lady."
Jared squeezes her shoulder. "Thanks. Good to see you Musa."
I wish I'd dated Jared all those years ago.
Coming to terms with the fact she and Riven would be temporary before the trouble started would have saved Musa years of annoyance, and later heartbreak. Even from Alice's conversations, brief as they were, Musa had gleaned that Jared really was a standup guy. And she'd known that back when they first met. Maybe she hadn't really liked Jared back then, but given enough time, maybe she could have learned to.
But then that would leave Alice, without Jared. Ruining another person's happiness for the sake of her own.
Musa groans, and leaves her coffee mug on the table as she gets up and leaves the shop.
"What time is it?"
Aisha is coming out of her room, hair standing wildly around her face as Musa walks in. The girl had sadly gotten a hold of more alcohol as the night progressed, and it took Musa and Nex half-carrying, half-dragging her into bed, so her emerging at - Musa glances at the clock on the wall - one in the afternoon wasn't that much of a shock. "Late. But it doesn't matter much. Still Saturday."
"Thank goodness," Aisha collapses down on the couch, throwing her arm over her eyes. "Can I get philosophical on you? The kind I can't say around Bloom and Flora on account of 'friendship bonds?'"
Musa smirks and takes a seat on the adjacent chair. "Hit me."
"Okay. I was leaning over the toilet this morning, debating the choices in life that have led me here…"
"As you do when hungover," Musa interjetc with a smirk.
"Hush. I'm just spitting it out; have you ever wondered what life was like if we hadn't ever gone to Alfea?"
The turn makes Musa jerk up. "Huh?"
"I mean think about it. The Trix are idiots - they wouldn't have been able to find Bloom if she wasn't here, based on the stories you told me. They would've tailed Stella - on Solaria - for years. And by the time they figured out she wasn't the power they needed, someone would have caught them. No Darkar, no Baltor, no Wizards, no Tritannus...we would have gone on with our lives on our own planets. Nabu might still be alive, you would've probably even gotten some sort of music done by now."
Musa just stares at her.
"I don't know; I just got to thinking about all of it. It's not like I would trade what we are; what we do around here. But sometimes I think how much less stressful life would be." Aisha looks over at her. "Do you ever think like that?"
"More so in recent days," Musa responds, honestly.
Aisha chuckles. "I love us, but...less pain, you know. I wouldn't blame any of us if we did it. Do you think you would?"
"I…" Musa stops, thinks about living her years in relative peace, attending school at the Golden Auditorium instead of Alfea, like she'd originally planned when she was a kid. She thinks about her cousin going there, all smiles on his first day, and the amazing music programs offered. She thinks about a world without the Trix, without fighting monsters, without the Specialists, and without the Winx. It sounds...almost boring.
But in her defense, everything before she attended Alfea could be described as 'boring.' And she hadn't known better.
"I don't know." Musa finally says, when she realizes Aisha is still waiting for an answer. "I really don't know."
At four in the morning Musa sits up, fully awake. The sun isn't close to rising, and by all accounts she should be tired, but her mind feels clear. She looks over at her bedside table and reaches into the drawer, pulling out the star trinket. Musa runs her fingers over it in the palm of her hand, looking at the jewels and the gold that seems to be intricately weaved into the face of it.
She takes a deep breath and presses down on the latch.
Light floods the room, and when she opens her eyes again the room has a soft glow to it. In front of her on a star is a small creature that looks almost like a Selkie, but it's taller and more refined. It smiles warmly at her.
"Musa of Melody," it says, it's voice soft and airy, "I was beginning to think I would not hear from you. You have summoned me, and I assume that means you have decided on your wish."
Another deep breath. In. Out. "I have."
"Then by all means," it holds its hands out, magic forming between them. "What is your wish?"
Musa straightens up, and folds her hands in her lap. "I wish…"
There is a famous story called The Lady, or the Tiger? by Frank Stockton. In it, criminals are punished by choosing one of two doors in an arena by chance. One door contains a beautiful maiden to marry, and the other a tiger. A young man is sentenced to choose a door after falling in love with the princess, and the princess in turn loves him back, but cannot be with him due to their class. She gestures to a door, which he immediately chooses, but it is never revealed whether the door contains the lady or the tiger, leaving the decision to the reader. I wanted to emulate that idea here. So TL:DR, no, I won't tell you what Musa wished for. But that being said, I'm curious to see what you think she wished for. Please tell me in your review, or if you think she wished for something else.
This was done more as a character study on Musa, and what sort of ideas she would have for her wish when considering what she's been through both in terms of the past and Seasons 6 and 7.
Pink Beach by Carnival is a play on Gorillaz's Plastic Beach. It's a good album, and if you get a chance I highly recommend giving it a listen. Likewise, Fly With Me is a play on Fall Out Boy
We're following the RAI Dub, which doesn't specify what Musa's dad, Ho-boe, does for a living. We're gonna assume it's music related though.
Also following new dub logic, the Winx are still teenagers. So even though three seasons have passed since Nabu has died, we're gonna say it's only been two years.