What Really Happened
Is this thing on? Testing, testing… Oh, good, you can hear me! This is Nora Clark speaking. I thought I should interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this special news bulletin.
The Doctor Who finale is officially canceled because, well, it can't happen anymore. Just ignore 'The Sound of Drums'. It didn't happen. There was a massive cover up but recently the video leaked out onto the internet and I thought I might as well explain what really happened because it all involved my best friend Jules a.k.a. Rabid Doctor Fangirl.
You'll understand a lot easier if I just show you the tape.
The Master was whizzing through time and space in the TARDIS he stole from the Doctor. After countless years as a stupid human he was finally free! Now he could take up his destiny as master of all. The TARDIS was taking him to earth. That was perfect. He could conquer that pitiful little planet without breaking a sweat.
Something creaked behind him.
The TARDIS giggled to herself though it only sounded like gears cranking.
The reborn Master turned around…
And was immediately tackled by an enraged woman. She was screaming and clawing and biting. The Master tried to fend her off but nothing could get this lady to stop attacking. Finally she managed to knock his head against the TARDIS's controls and he blacked out.
She stood up, brushed herself off and grumbled, "No one abandons my Doctor to a bunch of ravenous mutated humans. Jackass."
The TARDIS quite willingly showed this strange woman where they kept the rope. She tied the Master up and stared at all the glowing buttons and whirly gigs that controlled the TARDIS. "Er, could you just… reverse, or something?"
The TARDIS agreed.
When the Doctor opened the door of his police box, he was more than a little surprised to see the Master tied up and wriggling with outrage. A note was taped to the arch he usually threw his coat on. It read: Sorry about interfering but I was really annoyed. Sincerely, A Fan.
So, as you can see, the series can't continue because the Master has been subdued and the TARDIS isn't programmed to destroy the world. I'm sorry about ruining your viewing pleasure but it wasn't really my fault. Blame Jules.
Oh, yeah, about her. I haven't been able to find her.
I'm sure she's fine.
Unless she's mucking about with another television series…
Got to go, have a good evening, bye!
End of Transmission