I don't know why I'm writing this. I know no one will be here after I'm gone to read it. Maybe somewhere deep in this twisted mind of mine I truly believe that this all will end, and someone will find this and share my feelings, and bring a few moments of joy, sorrow, madness…any feeling, anything at all into their life.
Or maybe this is my final awareness. Maybe this is to keep me focused. Most people, when something terrible is happening, deny reality. They kid themselves into thinking "this isn't real, this is not happening." Maybe I am using this to reassure myself that this is how it was, how it is, and how it will be.
I can see what is going on around me. It is the year 2068. I'm amazed I've actually lasted this long. The war has been going on for years now. I remember back to when I was young. I remember the things I had...the things I lost. I was naïve, ignorant. I thought I could capture it and keep it forever. That one thing that is so precious to so many people.
Happiness. Yes, I remember. That does not exist now. It's gone forever. Most of these people, these creatures around me, convince themselves and their children that it will thrive once again. Ever since the human race was introduced into this world, this planet, its ecosystem has slowly been decaying. We've destroyed this world. I know that deep down we all know it is our own fault. Though, we blame it on everything but ourselves.
I haven't seen a bird, an insect, even a weed in so long. Except the cockroaches. They're everywhere. I heard somewhere they could survive the atomic bomb. Maybe, the next world will be run by cockroach people. Haha! I can feel myself laughing but I can't hear it. There's no one here to laugh with me, though. Outside these walls, I'd get shot for such a thing. That wouldn't be such a terrible way to die. It sounds more inviting than the way the rest of the world will end.
Oh…the news is exploding with updates. I can almost hear the explosion. They've released it. This is the end. I've had a good run. Now it's time to rest. And all of the other assholes will finally be punished for their actions. Someone near me is playing music. It's something from long ago. It fits the moment.
"I said the best day of my life…I swear the best day of my life…I know the best day of my life…Is the day that I die."