Tears in Rain
By Sarah Keller aka MsKeller
Edited by Beth aka Rasengan22
All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. - Bladerunner
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Sasuke glanced at the clock ticking away on the wall near his door. It was ten past eleven in the evening, and he realized he had spent the entire day locked up in this office. Smoothing a pale, perfectly manicured hand over the contract he was currently going over, Sasuke sighed. It wasn't a sigh of regret or of something that could be romantically assigned; it was simply a sigh of tiredness and resolve at knowing that he would be in the same place at the same time tomorrow.
With deliberation, the 26-year-old man hoisted himself out of his plush chair. Only now did he realize that he had been sitting in the same position for over four hours. He rolled his shoulders before moving to tidy up his work area. Contracts and proposals, even hate mail, was properly filed away. Only after Sasuke was satisfied with the way everything was, did he put on his suit jacket. The black Hickey Freeman jacket slid smoothly over the man's solid build. With a slight shrug of his shoulders, the jacket fell immaculately into place, and he buttoned the three buttons after grabbing his briefcase.
The last thing Sasuke did before leaving his office was to flick off the lights. Stepping out into the wide-open reception area, the man locked his door and turned to his assistant. The dark haired woman looked up from where she was filing away some reports and immediately stood all the way up. Sasuke had to admit that she was a beautiful woman, what with her long, dark hair hanging down to her waist and her dark eyes tilted just enough to look exotic.
"Good night, Kin." Sasuke murmured quietly. The woman nodded slightly, more to show that she heard him than anything.
"Good night, Uchiha-sama." Kin said confidently back. There was no hint of a squeal, and the sentiment wasn't laced with high-pitched glee. It was a distinguished and respectable good bye, as it should be.
That was why Sasuke liked Kin being his assistant. Unlike the various women that flirted shamelessly or threw themselves at him, Kin was a hard workingwoman who knew her place and gave the Uchiha the respect that was due to him. It was those very characteristics that kept her standing straight up until he was completely gone. It was a courtesy in case he had any last minute jobs for her, so that she could immediately take care of his requests before seeing to the rest of her work. Not that Sasuke would ever put things off enough to have a last minute request.
Sasuke waited patiently at the doors of the one elevator that came up to his floor knowing full well that Kin had already pushed the remote call button for it as soon as he had turned away from her. He didn't have to wait long before the elevator "pinged" and the doors slid open. Sasuke walked into the elevator and turned, never once letting the stiffness in his back relent. Even after the doors closed and the elevator began its decent, the Uchiha didn't relax.
When the doors opened again it was to see the expanse of the entry. Marble floors shined brightly with the absence of the people that crowded the floor during work hours. Two security guards stood behind the massive desk that was just to Sasuke's right. Large glass windows made up the front of the building, but it was the massive stained glass Uchiha fan crest that was built into the front of the building above the rotating doors that was the most impressive part.
The two guards stood up when Sasuke entered, one of them came around the desk and moved to unlock one of the front doors. As Sasuke passed the guard, who held open the door while at the same time bowing respectfully, he acknowledged the man with a slight nod of his head before leaving the building and getting smoothly into his waiting limo. The driver closed the door after him, and Sasuke was once again alone. Still, he did not relax. He leaned stiffly against the smooth leather seat and crossed his legs for the 30-minute drive home.
"You never relax."
Sasuke remembered the comment and smiled slightly. Sometimes I do, Sasuke mentally corrected the absent person and could swear that he heard their laugh.
Digging out his cell phone from the inside breast pocket in his suit jacket, Sasuke flipped open the small machine. Pressing '1' and then 'send' the Uchiha held the phone up to his ear. The phone on the other end rang and rang and rang, not surprised in the least to find that no one was going to answer. After all, no one ever did. Finally the voicemail picked up, and Sasuke listened to the energetic message, a small smile relaxing his facial expression. Sasuke left a short but meaningful message before hanging up.
The limo rolled to a stop some time later, and Sasuke noted that they had arrived at his house. Looking up at the four-story mansion, Sasuke sighed. This sigh was filled with nothing but regret.
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Sasuke glanced at the clock ticking away on the wall near his door. It was five until three in the afternoon. Taking a moment to check the date, he smiled and stood up. Sasuke took a few moments to clean up his desk before setting his briefcase down on top of the magnificent mahogany piece of furniture. Turning, he gathered up his suit jacket and tossed it carelessly over his and walked out into the reception area.
Kin was waiting for him on the other side of the door, a small pleasant smile on her face as she locked the door to his office. Not once did Sasuke stop on his journey to the elevator. He smiled a little at the guard who was holding the elevator for him as he got onto the lift. Silently they descended down, going passed the lobby floor to the parking garage beneath the building.
As soon as the doors opened Sasuke stepped off and headed towards the Land Rover parked off to the side. Pulling the keys out of his pocket, Sasuke pressed the unlock button. A loud "click" echoed through the garage as the locks disengaged and Sasuke pulled open the driver's door. But before he could climb in, he heard the guard say something from the open elevator doors.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Uchiha-sama." Sasuke glanced up at the man and smiled.
"To you as well." Sasuke slid into the vehicle and started it up just as the elevator doors closed. Quickly backing out of his parking spot, Sasuke headed out of the dark garage and into the bright afternoon.
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"Hello, Sasuke-kun." A young nurse said as she intercepted the Uchiha.
"Hello, Sakura. Did you get your hair cut?" Sasuke asked as he let the pink haired woman take his jacket from him.
"Yes, two weeks ago! I was wondering when you'd notice!" Sakura laughed before grabbing onto Sasuke's arm and pulling him down the hallway towards the back of the building. "I think you'll find what you're looking for in the garden, Sasuke."
Sakura turned loose of the Uchiha before heading back toward the nurses' desk. Sasuke quickly made his way outside to the large garden that was laid out between the long-term care facility and the ocean. Sitting in a wheelchair, amongst the sunflowers, was Naruto. A nurse with short dark hair sat in a chair next to the blond man, reading to him from a book. For a few seconds Sasuke just watched the pair, a smile ghosting over his lips.
"Hello, Shizune." Sasuke said coming closer. The nurse looked up from her book and smiled at him.
"Welcome back, Sasuke-kun. Lovely day, isn't it?" Shizune stood up from her chair, and Sasuke noticed with wide eyes that Naruto was looking straight at him with a dopey smile on his face. "It's your voice. I've been playing the messages to him that you leave on his cell phone. He responds positively to both the ringing of the cell phone and your voice now."
Sasuke's smile grew, and he aimed his beautiful smile at the blond man. Naruto blinked owlishly at him in response.
"I'll leave you two alone. Just bring him back inside when you're ready to leave."
"Thanks Shizune." Shizune nodded in response before moving back into the building.
Carefully, Sasuke moved to sit down in the vacated seat, picking up the book Shizune had left on the chair. Bright blue eyes watched him as Naruto's smile faltered. Lifting up a hand, Sasuke smoothed back some of the long wayward strands of gold that had fallen into Naruto's eyes. He reminded himself to tell Sakura to have it cut since it was getting a little too long.
"Do you want me to talk, dobe?" Instantly the smile was back. Sasuke smiled and looked at the book. The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh. With a silly grin, Sasuke opened the book to where Shizune had left off and began to read.
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"I can't believe you worked allll of Valentine's Day!" Naruto said with a sulk.
"Will you just drop it, I apologized several times already. And I'm taking you out to the nicest place in town right now." Sasuke only spared his blond passenger a glance as he continued to drive steadily towards their destination.
"Ten years! A ten-year-tradition down the drain because you wanted to read over some boring documents!"
"I said give it a rest, dobe!" Sasuke swerved into the next lane in order to go around another car. The windshield wipers were on high but that didn't seem to deter the Uchiha from stepping harder on the gas. The speedometer read 60 MPH, then 70.
"Sometimes I wonder about you Sasuke. This whole corporate business has changed you, and not for the better. You never relax!" Naruto crossed his arms over his chest in annoyance as Sasuke's grip tightened on the steering wheel.
"I inherited the corporation, Naruto. I had an obligation to take the reins!"
"But you don't have to let it ruin your life! I wonder if you even still care about me anymore!" Sasuke winced at the blond's words as if he had attacked him physically instead of verbally. The Uchiha turned on the other man, his face contorted in anger.
"Of course I fucking care! God damnit Naruto, I love y-"
A second is all it takes, but, in fact, it was for several seconds that Sasuke had taken his eyes off the road. One second they were arguing, the next the car was flying through the air. Everything was a blur until the car came to a stop right side up in the grassy area next to the highway. The sports car had flipped four times. Sasuke had to blink blood out of his eyes in order to see again and his body hurt everywhere. Looking around he realized that Naruto wasn't in the car and that the windshield was gone. Glass littered the car, some of the shards smeared with blood.
Scrabbling, Sasuke managed to get his seat belt off and out of the car. He had to find Naruto, he had to find him now. Ignoring the throbs of pain that laced throughout his body, Sasuke frantically searched the grassy area for his lover. Finally he spotted a blur of bright yellow amongst the dark storming world.
"Naruto!" Sasuke dropped to his knees at the blond's side and felt his eyes tear up as he took in his lover's appearance. One of Naruto's legs was bent unnaturally, and Sasuke could tell that one of his shoulders was dislocated. And there was blood, a lot of blood, everywhere.
"Sa – ske?" Naruto's voice came out as a pained whisper, and Sasuke furiously wiped the tears from his eyes.
"I'm right here, love. You're going to be alright." Not wanting to hurt the blond further, Sasuke refrained from touching him even though it felt like he was ripping his own skin off.
"I – sor – y." Naruto groaned, his red lips parted as he gasped in air. Suddenly the blond coughed, more blood spurting out of his mouth. Naruto let out a small cry of pain as his abused body jostled from the violent coughing.
"Shh, love. It's not your fault. It's mine, all mine. Just stay with me, please." Sasuke was only slightly aware of what he was saying as he gave in to the need to touch his lover. Bloody hands came up and cupped the blond's face, smearing the red liquid over an already blood soaked face.
Sasuke knew he had to do something, he had to get Naruto to a hospital, had to get him to a hospital right this moment. But how? He had no idea where his cell phone was, and he didn't dare try to pick up the blond. The sound of sirens pierced the night air, and Sasuke had never been so relieved. Apparently, some good samaritan had called an ambulance for them.
"Help is on the way, love. You're going to be okay." Sasuke murmured soothingly. Blue eyes opened slightly to look at him and Sasuke felt more tears come to his eyes at the naked pain in his lover's eyes.
"Lov – yu." Naruto whispered. The blond's face went lax, his eyes unfocusing and Sasuke felt pure terror lace through him.
"No, no! Don't leave me Naruto! Come on, love, come on back. You can beat this. Please! Please, Naruto!" The Uchiha begged as tears poured down his face, mixing with the rain that soaked him to the bone.
It seemed like an eternity before paramedics pushed Sasuke away from the blond he had unconsciously picked up and was cradling in his arms. Distantly, Sasuke heard the two men barking orders at one another and to someone on their radio. They shouted out life signs and each second that past seemed to reinforce the fact that Naruto was gone. But Sasuke wouldn't give up. Over and over in his head he begged to whatever gods there were to let his lover live. He silently egged Naruto into not giving up and then one of the paramedics shouted something that made the Uchiha want to faint.
"I've got a pulse!"
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Sasuke awoke with a scream stuck in his throat. He coughed and gagged as tears streamed down his face and he sat up fully, swinging his feet to the floor. In the quiet of the master bedroom he relived that horrible day four years ago. His skin had goosebumps on it as if he once again was being pelted by ice-cold rain. Sasuke brought his hands up and stared at them with wide eyes before burying his face in them. He could almost feel the blood on him again and he imagined that if he buried his face far enough into his palms, he'd smell Naruto's blood there.
Doing the breathing exercises that the psychiatrist had taught him, Sasuke calmed himself down. Slowly the heat returned to his body and the torrent of tears subsided to a small trickle. Glancing around the room with watery eyes, the first thing Sasuke noticed was that it was only 1:08 a.m. The second thing he noticed was that Naruto's side of the bed was empty.
But then that wasn't really a shock. It has been empty for four years, almost to the day. In a little less than 18 hours it would be the official fourth year anniversary of the car crash. It was now four days after Valentine's Day. Sasuke felt the urge to be sick but fought the bile down.
It had been his fault; he had looked away from the road and not noticed the stalled car on the side of the road. Every day he replayed that night over and over in his head trying to figure out what he could have done, what he should have done to prevent all of that from happening. All of that wondering came back to the same thing though. He should have simply gotten off work early on Valentine's Day and gone to the ramen stand with Naruto, as per their tradition. Now Sasuke wondered if he'd ever get to have another chance to make it up to his lover.
It was actually at the hospital that Sasuke's world had collapsed. All the hope he had built up after the paramedics had said that Naruto had both a strong heartbeat and his breathing was evening out was demolished when the doctor said Naruto was as good as brain dead. Too much time without oxygen to the brain, he had said. The blond could breath on his own and his organs still functioned, but that was it. Sasuke wasn't going to be getting his Naruto back anytime soon, probably never.
Actually the doctor had said that Naruto was never going to recover and would spend the rest of his life in a diaper drooling on himself. After snapping out of his shock, Sasuke had promptly knocked the pompous ass out. The moment Naruto was deemed fit enough to move, he had the blond moved to a world famous hospital and put under the care of the infamous Dr. Tsunade. It was thanks to her efforts that Naruto was responding so well now.
No major miracles had happened, but Sasuke wasn't looking for miracles. No, what he wanted was damnation. He would give everything he had to change places with Naruto. He'd even sell his soul to Satan if it could mean that for one moment, for only one moment he'd be able to apologize to the blond and not have some dopey, vacant expression given to him in return.
No longer able to control his body, Sasuke raced to his bathroom and promptly threw up the noodles he'd had for dinner. He collapsed to the tile floor and curled into a ball after the dry heaving had subsided. Sobbing yet again, Sasuke begged that the Gods take him and spare the blond, knowing full well that he wasn't going to get any reprieve. He was in his own personal Hell and part of what made it so painful was the knowledge that by simply being near him, Naruto, beautiful, innocent Naruto, had been forced to bear this pain as well.
I'm so sorry, Naruto.
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"It's still in the experimental stage, but if it works, Naruto should gain back some higher functioning skills." Tsunade said as she looked over the specifics of the operation.
"What do you mean by some?" Sasuke asked carefully. Tsunade sighed and looked at the younger man for several moments as if trying to figure out the best way to explain the complicated procedure to an idiot.
"Several portions of the brain will be, um, reworked. One of those sections is the part of the brain that houses memories. How you walk to knowing when your significant other's birthday is are housed in this section of the brain. The damage done during the car accident broke the connections between the parts of the brain so that anything beyond basic functions became impossible. Over the past few years, though, Naruto's brain has been attempting to compensate for the broken connections by creating new pathways. We are going to both try to reconnect the original pathways as well as strengthen the new ones.
"However, as I said, one of those sections is the memory complex in the brain. Normally, memory is one of the more fragile areas to work with. Memory loss will be inevitable. However, with the new drug, we may be able to stimulate the ingrained routine memories and keep them intact.
"But really anything could happen. All memories could be wiped out, but early tests seem to imply that memory recovery is possible. More than likely he'll be able to remember how to write, speak, walk, etc., but he won't be able to recall how he knows some things. It is highly likely he won't remember who he is or who you are, but he will have the capabilities to learn those things and remember them in the future."
Sasuke looked at the doctor and mulled over what she had just told him and the other information she had been giving him over the past few weeks. He looked over at where Naruto laid in his bed, his blue eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling and the stickers that had been stuck up there.
"If it works, it can be used on others?" Sasuke asked before glancing back at the blond woman. Tsunade seemed to blink at him in confusion before smiling at him slightly and nodding.
"If this works, I know of at least six other people that could benefit from the procedure." Sasuke mulled that over a few seconds.
"Naruto's a fighter, he'd want to fight. But more importantly he'd want to help people. He was a social worker before the accident, did you know that?" Tsunade nodded silently, knowing that Sasuke wasn't really looking for an answer. "He was always helping people, he'd like to see this help others, too. I know that."
"What about you?" Tsunade asked curiously.
Sasuke shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I want, this is about what Naruto would want. Go ahead and do the surgery."
Sasuke did his best to not choke on the words. He did know that Naruto would want this, but he couldn't help but feel a little selfish. He wanted Naruto back, back the way he was before the accident. He knew that was impossible though. And if he couldn't have that than the next thing he'd want would be for Naruto to be alive and happy. Sasuke knew that Naruto, though he appeared to be quite happy, really wasn't. The Naruto he knew wouldn't like being unable to do his job, living a full life, making Sasuke's life a living hell. If the surgery went well, parts of that Naruto could return.
But if the surgery didn't go well, he could lose Naruto once and for all. Sasuke didn't know if he could live without the blond. Naruto had been a permanent fixture in his life since they were little. And by being the one to decide to do the surgery, it would be his fault if Naruto died.
Rubbing his hands across his suddenly moist eyes, Sasuke moved over to stand next to Naruto's bed. Blue eyes swiveled over to look at him, and the blond smiled innocently at him. Sasuke smiled back even though his face hurt to do so. Reaching down, Sasuke stroked the side of Naruto's face, feeling the softness of the tanned skin and pale strands of hair. Never once did the blank stare or the dopey smile leave Naruto's face.
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The sound of quick footsteps on tiled floors rang out down the hallway. Because of Sasuke's hurried steps Sakura was having some trouble keeping up.
"I still don't understand why I couldn't be there when he woke up." Sasuke said through clenched teeth.
"We needed to observe his behavior and run some tests in a clean environment. Once you enter the room memories might trigger. You'll be happy to know that the initial tests are very promising." Sakura said as she trailed behind the Uchiha. Sasuke paused and turned to look at her as he tried to not let his hopes rise too much.
"How so?"
"We asked questions that he would have known the answers to before the accident. Things about procedures at his job, things he learned at school, basic socializing skills and other such things. He responded positively to about 80 of the questions."
"That's good." Sasuke said slowly. He felt hope take a firm hold inside his heart. He turned back to go into Naruto's room but Sakura grabbed his arm, keeping him where he was with an unusually strong grip.
"Sasuke, wait. You should know that he wasn't able to answer personal facts. He didn't know his own name, birthday or family situation. Though he did at least get the right month when answering the question about his birthday." Sasuke absorbed this information, his momentum stalling as he realized that Naruto more than likely didn't know about him, didn't know that they had been lovers once.
Taking a deep breath, Sasuke turned towards the door and entered the hospital room, leaving the pink haired nurse in the hallway. The sterile white room seemed almost too bright for several seconds and then, slowly, Sasuke's vision cleared. Naruto was sitting up in the bed apparently listening to whatever Tsunade was saying. When Naruto answered one of her questions Sasuke thought he was going to faint from getting to hear the blond's voice again. Even if his voice was rough and scratchy.
"Ah, I figured you would have barged in here ages ago." Tsunade commented without looking up from the legal pad in her hand. "Naruto, do you know who this man is?" Without knowing it, Sasuke held his breath as he waited for the blond's answer.
Naruto stared curiously at the dark haired Uchiha for several seconds, and then several more. Finally though, the blond shook his head in the negative. Sasuke heard Tsunade say something but all he could hear was the roaring of blood in his ears. He felt as if his heart had just fallen into his stomach and was now being eaten away by the acids there.
"I said introduce yourself, brat." Sasuke snapped out of his daze and glared at the blond doctor before moving closer to the man sitting on the bed.
"I'm Sasuke." The Uchiha said carefully. He was so unsure of what he was supposed to be feeling, so, instead, he decided to slip into an appearance of non-emotion. His face was relaxed with no hint of anything that could give away the turmoil going on inside. However, his eyes widened as he watched Naruto's eyes light up and a smile break out on his face.
"I know that voice!" Naruto declared before suddenly throwing himself forward and wrapping his weak arms around Sasuke's waist and pushing his head into the stunned Uchiha's chest.
"I do believe that is a positive response. It's a little early, but I'm going to write this one off as a success. He'll need several months of physiotherapy in order to become fully mobile again and I'll schedule a speech therapist to come down and help him with his voice. Sasuke are you listening to me?" Tsunade tapped the edge of her pad on the side table, and Sasuke looked up for a second to nod.
"Good. Now his memories should return, but it could take years for him to get everything back. And there's no guarantee that he will even get all his memories back. Don't be shocked to see shifts in his personality, though the major parts seem to be holding up. I'll also have sessions with a therapist scheduled for him so we can access the trauma associated with the return of dormant memories. You're not even listening, are you?"
Sasuke glanced up again and nodded before looking back down at the blond, who was happily nuzzling his face into the Uchiha's stomach. Tsunade rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless before leaving the two alone in the room.
Painfully slow, Sasuke brought his hands up to wrap around the blond. He felt Naruto's back through the thin scrubs he was wearing and the slightly coarse blond hair as he ran one of his hands over Naruto's head. The blond looked up at him and smiled so big that his eyes closed. Sasuke felt tears come to his eyes. Naruto might not be back completely yet, but Sasuke was eternally thankful to have even this.
"Sasuke." Naruto whispered the words to himself as if he was testing the word on his lips. Bright blue, mischievous eyes looked up into dark, tear-filled, happy ones and Sasuke instinctively tightened his arms around the smaller man. "I'm sorry I don't remember you."
"It's alright, dobe. I'm not going anywhere. Maybe one day you'll remember me, but even if you don't I'll be here so we can make lots of new memories." Bending down slightly, Sasuke buried his face in Naruto's golden hair, happy that the other man didn't pull away.
"It's strange." Naruto whispered. "I don't remember you and yet I know I love you."
Fin