Much Ado About Nothing

by memoranda

So, some of the countries are forced into doing a play by England, and yeah. you can guess. Rated 't' for later stuff, I don't own the plot or the characters, I just switched the characters. pairings are USFem!UK, GerFem!Ita, and LietBela. READ IT!

Okay, let me make this PERFECTLY clear, I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING, THEY BELONG TO HIMAURA (spelling) AND SHAKESPEARE! I DO NOT WISH TO MAKE PROFIT FROM THIS, I'M JUST BORED! Things will be VERY OOC

Here are the characters:

Don Pedro=China

Don John=Russia

Claudio=Germany

Benedick= America

Leonato=Romano

Antonio=Spain

Conrade=Estonia

Borachio=Lithuania

Dogberry=Latvia

Friar Francis= Japan

Hero=Fem! Italy

Beatrice= Fem! England

Moll Verges= Hungary

Margaret= Belarus

Ursula= Ukraine

Sexton= Fem! France

Mrs./Mr. Smith= Roman Empire

Soldiers/watch=Nordics

Okay...So...Yeah...My drama class is doing this play, and I am Don John. I'M SO EXCITEED! Yeah, so this is set in play form, and you get to see the countries fail at acting. The rest of the world is the audience.

"Hello there! I am the Roman Empire, and this, as you can see, is the garden of Romano, governor of Hetalia!" Old Romano, crippled, scowls at the audience and barely bows. "So, like, there was a war or something between Emperor China, and his half brother, Russia." China takes a deep bow, grinning contentedly, while Russia smiles coldly and turns around. "China won, but being an awesome dude, he forgave Russia." China spins Russia around and pats him on the head, causing a purple aura to glow around the taller nation. Soft 'kols' were heard from the man.

"I'm not gonna say that! How did you guys talk me into doing this?." Romano growled at the Russian.

"I thank you, dear friend, I'm not one to talk much, but I thank you, Da?" Russia patted Romano's head, ignoring the break in character and causing the Italian to shudder and mutter a few choice swear words.

"So, like, from China's army is Germany and America." They both bow, Germany at once, but America only when Rome whacked him on the head. "Here is Romano's sister, Feli." She says something that sounds like 'Vee~~' And curtsies. "And the -ahem- lovely Alice." Alice makes a huge show of curtsying, and it is clear on her face that she is making fun of the process. "Feli's helper-people are Belarus and Ukraine." They both curtsey, but Belarus is scowling. "So, like, after Germany comes back from war, he totally crushes on Feli."

"Feli is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on..." Germany sighs, watching her water the many tomato plants in the garden.

"And EVERYONE knows how America loves Alice, and vice versa, but both of them are too STUPID to admit it!" Rome shouts the insult over his shoulders at the two, who stop bickering at once and glare at him. "If someone is smart enough to keep himself warm in the winter, at LEAST let there be a difference between him and his horse." Alice says to the audience. "Pssh, ALL the ladies love me! Minus you..." America glares at the British woman. "Yeah, so it became official that Germany would marry Feli, after some love advice from China, and some BIG FAT STUPID LIES from Russia." Rome glares at Russia. He grins innocently and shrugs. "So, Russia and his henchman, Lithuania and Estonia, decide to mess stuff up." Lithuania smiles and waves, notices Russia making the 'Come here or I'll kill you' motion and runs across the stage. Estonia just stares at the crowd. Russia, Lithuania, and Estonia huddle up.

"It seems that Germany and Feli are going to be married, Da?" Russia smiles at Lithuania, who shudders and speaks, his voice trembling. "Y-Yes, Mr. Russia, but I think I might be able to stop it...maybe..."

"That sounds good, Da? Tell me how." Russia's grin widens.

"Woah, don't spoil it, dude! This is just the introduction!" Rome cuts in front of Lithuania and grins at the audience. "So, everyone's had enough of America and Alice pretending they hate each other, so they decide to trick them into liking each other."

"I will teach you to lie, aru, so when Alice comes by, ONLY talk about how great you think America is, okay, aru?" China says to Feli. "I'll make America fall in love with Alice, aru."

"But Russia decides to LIE about Feli, totally messing things up." Russia fakes fatigue as he 'runs' up to Germany. "I came here to tell you about Feli. She's cheating on you, Da?"

Germany looks surprised and hurt. "Wh-who? F-Feli?"

"Da."

"How could she do this to me?" Germany asked. Russia turned his back, and the audience could see him shaking with suppressed laughter.

"BUT. Some of the other people in Hetalia, meaning Latvia, Hungary, Francine, and the Nordic soldiers figure out their plot and somehow...stop Russia." Latvia bows shakily, while the girls curtsey and the Nordics salute. "R-Russia! I will m-make you...um..." Latvia breaks off, squinting at the control bow in the back of the auditorium. "I-I'm not cut out for this role..."

"WHATEVER! So, everything is all peachy-keen in the end thanks to Spain and Japan. So, like, yeah, just watch and stuff. Here's the play, Much Ado About Nothing, by...Shake-your-spear? Alice, did you write this?" Rome looks at the blonde woman. "SHUT UP AND GET OFF THE STAGE!" She yells at the narrator. "DON"T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He yells straight back, in the microphone, causing everyone in the seats to wince.

"So, like, yeah. Here's scene one, or whatever. It's in Romano's house."

The curtains closes, leaving Alice, Iceland, Romano, and Feli out.

ALice clears her throat. "Did Mister America return from the war?" She asked Iceland, playing her role well.

"I don't think so, Miss." Iceland says, then shudders like saying that hurt him.

Romano sighs dramatically. "Why did you ask that." He says in a monotone, refusing to act properly. Alice scowls at him. Feli giggles. "She likes Mr. America."

Alice pretends to blush. in his flat voice, Romano drones, "Don't do her wrong *mumble mumble* War of the minds between the- Can I be done now?" In answer, Alice stomps on his foot. "It's not much of a war." She says. "In our last battle, four out of five of his wits deserted him. So if he is smart enough to keep himself warm, let there at least be a difference between himself and his horse. But who is his companion? Is there no one who will go with him to death?"

Iceland throws a dirty look at Alice. "He is with Germany."

"Oh, my, he will hang on him like a disease. Oh, help Germany! If Germany has caught the America disease, it will take a thousand dollars until he can pay to be cured!"

China, Germany, America and Russia.

"Hello Romano, aru! Are you in good health? The fashion of world is expensive, aru." China hugs the bored Italian. "Chigi! Get off! And was I supposed to actually MEMORIZE this crap?" "You are kind, aru. And this is your sister, aru?" China sends mental daggers at Romano. "Don't talk to her!" Romano screeches at China. "Were you in doubt, sir, if you asked her?" America asked Romano. "This play is crap..." Romano muttered. Alice elbows him, hard. "I wonder why you are still talking, America. No one marks you." She glares at him. "No one MARKS me? What does that mea-oh right my line. The ladies love me, except for you. It's too bad that I don't love the ladies." Alice glares at him for messing up. "A dear happiness to women. I thank goodness that you don't, because I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me."

"*Mumble mumble* owe you something." Romano directs his poorly delivered line at Russia. "I thank you, Da? I am not one to talk much, but I thank you." He then leaves, along with everyone except for Germany and America.

"A-America? Did you notice the sister of Romano?" Germany asks his friend. "Yeah, but not like THAT." "Is she modest?"

"Look, dude, have I ever lied to you?" America ignores Germany's nod. "Meh, she's not really my type. you can have her." Germany faked a glare. "I am not a 'player', as you put it. Now tell me how you really like her." America dangled his feet off the stage. "Well, how bad do you want her?" Germany sighed, picturing Feli in his mind for real. "She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on." America smirked at him, knowing that he wasn't just acting that part. "Dude, I can see without my glasses that you like her. Are you gonna get married?" Before Germany could answer, China walked back in. "What are you hiding, aru, that you didn't follow Romano?"

America smirked again, standing back up on the stage. "It's a secret!" China glared at him. "I will throw you in jail, aru." He warned. America threw up his hands. "Okay, okay, sheesh. Germany's in love with Feli..." America sang, dancing out of the angry German's way. China smiled and 'Awwww'ed. "I do see, aru. You look sick with love." America screwed up his face. "Welp. I forgot my line, so I'm just gonna leave now. See ya!" He left.

"Will you help me?" Germany asked China. "Yes, aru, I will teach you to not be...awkward around girls." "Wait. Does Romano have any other siblings?" Germany asked. "Nope, aru. She is the heir, aru." Germany face-palmed. "Oh, crap." "Don't worry, aru. If you love her, tell her, aru, and I will break it to Romano." China said, patting Germany on the back. "How do you know so much about love?" Germany asked. China just shook his head. "Tonight, I will have masquerade ball, aru. I will go to Feli and tell her I am you, aru. I will make her fall in love me-I mean you-and then I will give her to you to marry, aru." The curtain closed.