ANOTHER TIME, ANOTHER PLACE
AUTHOR'S NOTE YES- THIS IS SHOUTING SO AS TO BE CLEAR. ALL NON GAMM CHARACTERS ARE BASED UPON SOMEONE REAL- AND IF YOU ARE CLEVER THE IN JOKES WILL BE APPARENT. PREVIOUSLY, THIS WAS UNDER ANOTHER TITLE, BUT SOME PEOPLE WHO ARE NAMELESS CAUSED PROBLEMS- BUT WILL BE SENT IN OTHER FICS TO THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH. SOME INSPIRATION IS OWED TO R A DICK, CBS, LERNER AND LOWE, AND RUTH BERMAN. WISH THIS WAS FOR MONEY, BUT IT'S NOT.
One never knows what might come through the front door of Gull Cottage. Today was no exception. Catching Scruffy by the collar to keep the little dog from attacking or running out, Martha swung it open.
Fortunately, Scruffy landed on his feet when she lost her grip.
"You- you're..."
"Yes, I am- and would you be Mrs. Carolyn Muir?" the pleasant British accented voice asked.
"No- no- ah- you are looking for Mrs. Muir- but how why?"
"Martha did I hear someone knock?" the lady in question asked as she bounced downstairs for a needed break. Then seeing her guest, halted. "You're not Reginald Mulhair."
He grinned devilishly. "Well, so far it's a tie- she says I am- you say I'm not. So the deciding vote is mine, and I say yes. So may I come in?"
"Certainly." Why in the world--
"I imagine you are wondering why I'm here," he asked perceptively.
"Oh no, I'm ju- yeah, I am."
He winced visibly at her slang; Higgins was rubbing off on him perhaps, but let it slide to lead the two women to the drawing room as if he owned the place and they were visitors.
Catching sight of the portrait that dominated not just the room, but their lives, his grin broadened. "Ah- so that would be the Captain. Handsome devil, eh? I fancy a resemblance to him with myself rather." Standing under the portrait, he struck a pose, as if waiting for their agreement.
"Balderdash," the Captain announced, appearing behind Reginald. "I look nothing like him."
"There is a certain sort of similiar air," Carolyn countered, more to the ghost than the actor.
"I knew you would agree, so , kind Madam, would you use your influence to swing the vote my way."
"He can't call you Madam- you're my Madam," the Captain blustered.
Oh to be able to respond so only the captain could see and hear her, as he did with her, often to her detriment in public. Blast him. "I don't understand.."
Both men chose to answer. "Madam- I think over the years I've demonstrated a certain, that is to say we have a - as the modern folk might term it," the captain tried to begin, awkwardly.
"Your book, Mrs. Muir, the Captain's Memoirs. The studio where I make movies has opted it for a movie- surely you got the paper work- and at present a Mr.J Bond and I are the top choices for the role of Daniel Gregg. I rather hoped that by coming here I might persuade you of my perfection for the role. Just being here - I can tell I have a certain affinity for the role- perhaps Miss Winterbourne was right. She and I had lunch last week, and she was quite certain I'd been a sea captain in a prior existence, perhaps I was him."
Fortunately, he was looking at the portrait, allowing Mrs. Muir to give the captain a look that said BEHAVE.
One he totally ignored. "You couldn't have been me in a past existence- I'm not done with it!"
Martha went to fetch the mail to see if the paperwork was among the junk, as she sorted, she gushed a bit. "Jim Bond wants to play y- the captain? Is there any chance he might drop by to persuade?"
The thespian continued to muse. "Yes, this place almost seems familiar. I wonder if we could film a few scenes here for authenticity..."
Carolyn's eyes widened. Let's not repeat that kind of diseaster she prayed, in complete agreement with the thunderclap that expressed the captain's opinion.
"How odd, it seems quite sunny."
"Our barometer is far more accurate than the weather itself, " Carolyn smiled through gritted teeth. "In fact, that would make filming here fairly impossible- squall just come up out of nowhere. The weathermen can't predict them at all." To emphasize, another clap of thunder roared, but she knew it wouldn't rain. The thunderer had figured out that if he pulled that, the guests he wanted to annoy would stay longer.
"Mm. I can see how that would be a problem. " He paused considering, then burst out, "BLASTED weather, " with enough force, and a good enough impression of the captain to make the two women jump.
"Just testing how it felt to say that, as I recall from the book, it was a favored expression of the captain's. You know they're going to want to play up his romance with what was her name-Lynette -no- that's not it- Mick's other girl, Vanessa, that's it. You might want to consider auditioning."
Martha knew he'd just stepped on at least ten toes, so she laughed a bit and said, "Oh, now, I couldn't possibly leave Mrs. Muir and the children long enough to do something like that. "
"Er- yes." More thunder rattled, a bit more agressively.
"I'd best be off, with the way this weather is- wouldn't want to inconvenience you getting myself stranded here- but perhaps- yes- that's it! The reason I was able to make this jaunt is that I'm doing a production of Galatea - the musical version of Shaw's play, in Philadelphia for charity. So you may get a feel for my acting - could I give you ladies a set of tickets to tomorrow night's production? Fifth row from the stage- closer and the drums would deafen you."
"I forbid it," the ghost stated, settling the matter.
"We'd love to," Carolyn smiled, resisting the urge to stick out her tongue. "The kids can stay with a couple of friends overnight since it's a Saturday.""Marvelous!" Mr. Mulhair grinned, sure of himself. "I will see you ladies then, and perhaps I can convince Jim to drop in- even though he's lost, meeting you would be a consolation prize."
As the door shut, Martha and Carolyn looked at each other letting their feeling of being totally stunned sink in but just for a moment.
"How dare he- come in here and flirt and charm his way in - what kind of poppinjay does he think he is- playing me? Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I've never heard of such a thing and to film here- in my house? Let's just hope that sniveling seaworm does not get wind of it- he'll hand the whole place over for the right amount of lucre. And then bribery on top of it all after he's insulted you Madam by suggesting that you might be as light loyaltied as Vanessa."
"He offered it to me," Martha insisted, with such a straight face they weren't sure if she was joking or not.
"Of course, I was caught in the moment," the captain corrected himself. "Well, when you don't show up, he'll know he's been put in his place. Now Bond, that's a man's man for you. HE can play me."
"Who says we aren't showing up?" Carolyn asked, " I gave my word- Martha and I will be there. Now, I should go and see if I have a dress nice enough or if I need to go shopping."
"Madam, Madam.."
When she was away, Martha stabbed at him with a duster. "Look, you ought to know by now, telling her no is as good as telling her yes. She's not going to marry the man, just have a nice night out. Look at it that way. Besides, you can come with us."
"I haven't a ticket. Nor was I invited," he said with great dignity.
"If I could be invisible- do you think I'd ever buy a movie ticket?"
The captain considered. "You won't tell Mrs. Muir I'm there?"
"If she asks, I won't lie, but I won't be volunteering either. But if you behave, she wouldn't mind."
"I always behave."
"Yeah, but not always nicely. Go polish your dress chains."
"Female- eternally, inexorably, inexplicably, female."
The show was, naturally, stellar, spectacular, and stupendous. Even the Captain, who had remained silent throughout was impressed. He had an admiration for the professor's astute opinions. Quite right- Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife. Through the words he found himself recalling fondly all the days of his time with the Muir family. The days of rearranging and upturning his home, redecorating and even slaying his beloved tree. Nattering and chattering telling him what was the matter with him. And the relatives, oh her relatives. Harriet especially. But he would have to differ, on this, if a woman was more like a man, it would be a sad, sad day. He'd not change a bit of Carolyn, except her stubbornness and defiance at select times.
He had grown accustomed to her face.
To all their faces, even Scruffy's, but especially hers. It was a habit he couldn't break. Nor want to.
"I'll turn in, now Mrs. Muir. I look enough like a pumpkin without turning into one," Marha yawned, calling to attention the time, 11 55 pm.
"All right, Martha," she smiled, humming a bit.
When she appeared to be alone, she called softly, "Well, captain, did you enjoy the show?"
He appeared, in dress uniform. "I was about to ask you that- the house was quite lonely- so I hope it was worth it."
"Captain- I know you were there."
He began to bluster, then sighed. "It was a commendable performance, and if that imposter truly wishes to play me, perhaps it would not be a poor choice."
She smiled. "Glad you agree, I've read the papers, that came this morning, so much for rain or sleet or snow.."
"There's nothing in the oath about hauntings," he noted distractedly.
"As I was saying," she continued, practicing restraint, "and I will suggest he'd make a fair impression of you, for film's sake. " She paused again, "Now yesterday, you started to say something to me about our certain "
"Madam, don't you think you ought to get to bed, it's getting quite late."
For a moment, she wanted to try and pull that confession out of him, but nodded, she'd won one battle. Don't push it. "Good night captain."
"Good night, Mrs. Muir."
As he heard the boards rattle, telling him she was abed, the ghost looked up, and very softly, half sang, "I've grown accustomed to your face, you almost make my day begin, I've grown accustomed to the tune you whistle night and noon, your smiles, your frowns, your ups your downs, are second nature to me now... yet I've grown accustomed to your face, my dear."
Upstairs, blanketed in starlight, Carolyn hoped she might go to another cotillion soon, so she could tell someone how her heart took flight when he danced with her, since they had a certain something, didn't they?
One more time- I own nothing. If anyone wants the original, email me. It was also merely for fun, and this was considerably less fun, but it is what it is. If the there are any complaints, take it up with me.