Sirius entered the dormitory alone. Thankfully Prongs and Wormtail had stayed in the Great Hall longer than usual, well aware that they'd be needing the sustenance tonight. But the second Remus left, rising to his feet and turning on his tail quicker than the others could even utter a word of protest, Sirius made to follow, dropping his cutlery onto his plate with a clatter. Remus never had much of an appetite on the night of the full moon, and Sirius could hardly blame him. But no doubt sustenance was something Remus needed more than any of the Marauders. They chose to transform at will. Remus had no such luxury.
By the time Sirius reached him, Remus' was already slumped with his back against the headboard of his bed, his eyes boring holes into the book he clutched in his hands. Merlin, that boy was fast when he wanted to be. Sirius supposed it went with the territory of being a werewolf. Remus was a hell of a lot stronger than he looked too. You wouldn't know it at first glance but he had a harder punch than the others put together. Sirius had discovered that much after the prank, the prank that had almost cost him the very friendship he'd come to covet over the years yet strangely led to something infinitely more than Sirius even knew he wanted.
Sirius wasn't surprised to find Remus in this position. This kind of behaviour had ceased to surprise Sirius long ago. Remus wasn't reading. His eyes weren't moving, confirmation of that which Sirius had always known; this was little more than pretence. Sirius knew how much Remus loathed each full moon, but even more than that he hated himself for feeling this way, weak and debased. Not only did he lack the control to resist the pull of the moon, but he was utterly terrified in the face of it. Remus didn't read, because flashes of the night to come were flitting through his mind, only holding the book as if it were a shield, a desperate attempt at avoiding what was only inevitable.
But it could only last so long. The moon would rise as it did every night, only tonight it would have reached its apex. Remus would transform into the wolf he so bitterly abhorred, and by the morning he'd be torn to shreds, only scarred further, aching and barely conscious. But what he didn't realise, what he never seemed to fucking realise, was that Sirius would always be there. That might not have been the case before the prank, but it certainly was now. Almost making a killer of the very boy he strove to protect, it left Sirius shaken, surfacing a number of things which had only recently come to make sense. Like the fact that he needed Remus more than Remus needed him, that he cared for him even, that every time he saw that expression on his scarred features it was like a stab to his chest.
Remus' brow was creased in a frown, his jaw clamped tightly shut, and Sirius was almost certain he was grinding his teeth just as he did in his sleep when he was clearly reliving his worst fears in his dreams. He didn't speak. Remus never spoke about the full moon unless it was absolutely necessary. And when he did, there was an edge of bitterness that didn't escape Sirius' notice despite it leaving Remus' lips involuntarily. Sirius often found himself wondering if Remus realised that it wasn't just sport for the other Marauders. Breaking the law by being an unregistered animagus, as thrilling as it was, was a great deal less thrilling when you had your best friend being clawed and bitten by a werewolf, even if that werewolf was himself. Not only that, but a werewolf who was constantly laden with a feeling of guilt. That fact didn't seem to penetrate Remus' thoughts. Sirius was beginning to realise that Remus didn't want it too. And he didn't need an explanation as to why.
Remus didn't speak, because he couldn't. So Sirius did it for him.
"What are you reading?" he asked, finally crossing the room with slow steps as he studied the boy before him. Remus had to check the cover of the book before he could answer, at which point Sirius felt a surge of affection for him, a smile working its way onto his lips despite how much it pained him to see Remus so anxious. It pained him to think that this is how it would always be for Remus, on the next full moon, and the one after that, and so on until the day he died. This is how it would be for both of them, though the idea of there being a 'them' was consolation enough for the time being.
"Edgar Allen Poe," Remus said in little more than a perfunctory answer, unable to provide the specific title of what he was only pretending to read. Sirius supposed it was the first book that had been within reach, but it wasn't the most sensible of options. Sirius wasn't overly fond of the bloke himself. He was morbid, and seemed to relish in it. Although he understood why Remus liked him, surely it wasn't the best reading material on the night of the full moon.
"Bloody hell, Moony," Sirius sighed, bending down to sift through the pile of books that was stacked beside Remus' bed until he found one more suitable. "Budge up will you." Plonking himself next to the boy on the bed, Sirius flicked through the pages to his favourite chapter before resting an arm around Remus' shoulder and reeling him in.
At first, Remus resisted. And now that he was within proximity of him, now that he felt Remus against him, Sirius could sense that it had already begun. It was another hour before they'd have to head to the Shrieking Shack, but Remus was already hot beneath his robes, almost trembling, though Sirius might have been imagining that last. He planted a kiss atop Remus' head before his eyes settled on the page.
"As Athos and Porthos had foreseen, at the expiration of a half hour," Sirius began before pausing. Silence was his only answer, which he interpreted as an indication to continue. "D'Artagnan returned. He had again missed his man, who had disappeared as if by enchantment. D'Artagnan had run, sword in hand, through all the neighbouring streets, but had found nobody resembling the man he sought for. Then he came back to the point-"
"Wait," Remus said finally. "Sirius, you're not reading this chapter again, are you?" His voice was dry and lacked its usual affection but Sirius would let that pass for the time being. As he'd been reading, Remus had subconsciously settled closer into the embrace which signified that although he protested, it was working.
"This is my favourite chapter. And it's much more cheery than that rubbish Poe bangs on about all the time," he answered, lowering the book from his gaze as his eyes rested on Remus instead.
"It's not rubbish. Besides, you only like it because of that stupid motto."
"Fuck off. It might be a full moon but its still readers choice."
"Get on with it then," Remus said in resignation, only now a wide grin had broken across his lips, and Sirius found himself wondering if he could only keep him smiling like that maybe they could stave off the effects of the full moon altogether.
"It's not stupid." The hand that rested on Remus' arm moved to stroke the soft tresses of his hair. Of course Remus was right, just as he always was. This was Sirius' favourite chapter, for the very reason Remus had given. That motto, all for one, one for all, it rang true in Sirius' mind. At least that's what he chose to believe. It comforted him to think like they were equally as daring and courageous as the musketeers who stole through the streets of Paris, sabres at their side, Remus especially. It was strangely encouraging, as if it somehow undid all the shit life had dealt them over the years. Sirius didn't take Remus' words to heart. After all, it had been Remus who had introduced him to the muggle literature of Alexander Dumas in the first place. He had no one but himself to blame.
"Read," came the voice of the boy next to him, his hand finding the one that clasped the book, fingers almost intertwining as he lifted it and the book so as to further impress his instruction. Remus' tone was more forceful, but equally more of his old self lay behind it.
Sirius returned to the point at which he had been interrupted, obeying Remus' command with little more than a hint of a smirk as his eyes trailed the words.
"It's time to go isn't it," Remus said, finally splitting the silence.
Sirius had set the book back onto the pile, now encasing Remus in his arms. The boy had shut his eyes to the world, not peaceful but as peaceful as he would ever be on a night like tonight. Sirius wished he could put a stopper on time, end it in the here and now so that Remus could just fall asleep like this.
"Yeah," he said, checking his watch before realising it would probably do him more good to cast a glance out the window. It was spring, which meant the night's weren't quite so long as they were in the height of winter. The torment would cease in about eight hours but that wasn't enough.
"You ready?" he asked, a stupid question seeing as Remus really had little choice in the matter. Remus instinctively shifted closer, melting against Sirius, almost literally given the unnatural warmth that he now seemed to possess and the way his body seemed more flexible and fluid than it normally did. A hand clasped at the front of Sirius' robes as Remus answered with a shake of his head.
"No," he said, his voice soft, but wholly unguarded. It was unsettling, for the boy so commonly put up a front, kept people at a distance, refused to accept weakness. It was intimate, and if James or Peter were here, none of this could have happened. Sirius placed tender fingertips under Remus' chin, gently lifting it so that Remus was forced to open his eyes and meet his.
"You're not going to say all for one, one for all, are you?" Remus asked with a wince. Sirius suspected Remus was merely just as disappointed that they hadn't reached that part as he.
"Shut up, Moony," Sirius whispered, pressing lips to his. Not everything about the full moon had to be tough, and raw, painful, torturous even. Not everything had to cause him harm, reigniting a self-loathing that was ever present yet only reared its ugly head on nights like these, nights when Remus could do little against it.
"We'll read the rest in the morning, yeah?" he said, wishing to impart upon Remus that there was something to look forward to, something beyond the searing in his veins during the transformation and the agony that followed, something beyond hunger and rage.
"Yeah," Remus repeated, giving his head a quick nod before prying himself from the other boy and gathering himself together. "Not even once?"
Sirius' silver orbs rested on Remus, in particular the playful smile that crept across his lips. He couldn't argue with that.
"All for one, one for all!" they chorused, scrambling from the bed and exiting their dormitory linked arm over shoulder in a display of unity and camaraderie, their last defence against the full moon.