The river of my life
I cried, cried and cried,
With no one to hold me and calm me.
My anger burned a hole in my soul
My sadness the sound of my tears
My sobs rendered me helpless
I burrowed down to that deep place inside of me where raw emotions hide.
I cried for the hurt, the pain, the fear and a childhood lost.
I cried for dignity undone and innocence long forgotten.
I cried for the questioning silences and the doubt filled eyes.
I cried because I felt so forsaken,
the loneliness nesting deep in my heart.
I cried so loud yet I was not heard.
The kind of crying that makes others uncomfortable
because the pain is all too obvious,
yet crying seemed a woefully inadequate way to voice such powerful emotions.
With only bloodshot eyes and a tear stained face to show that moment.
before my body racked with tremors,
I faced the world again.
I would not let you see how you affected me,
I just flowed through the days and the nights
As an empty shell void of feelings.
I watched as my life went passed,
As the long winding river
The river of my life
it runs so strong and deep,
but throughout its course,
it has taken on many colours and hues.
The river runs orange
for the happiest and brightest times of my life.
The river runs green
for the times I was sick and needed to be nursed.
The river runs pink
all the times I was scared not wanting to be alone.
The river runs yellow
so many times I cringed and cowered at your touch.
The river runs blue
since the time the coldness had entered my soul.
The river runs red
for the anger that courses through my being.
The river runs black
hatred for you who betrayed my trust.
The river runs
The River runs a rainbow.