NOTE: Let me just make this clear. I do not own Homestar Runner nor Star Fox. That is all.
STAR FOX 64 in Expert Mode, Homestar Style
If you still need pictures, here they are, but you can look these pictures up in the first part:
Great Fox: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/renders/greatf.jpg
Arwing: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/renders/starfox12.jpg
Corneria (and the robot who pushes buildings):
The Lylat System: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/renders/lylat.jpg
(Corneria is the blue planet on the lower left)
Laser Upgrade: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/screens/laserupgrade.jpg
(The green thing with the letter: L (The rabbit who is talking is Peppy, who Coach Z plays))
Andross: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/renders/starfox12.jpg
Attack Carrier: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/screens/0401.jpg
The arches of the sea: http:www.arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/screens/0203.jpg
Chapter 1 – A longer Chapter 1
Characters in Chapter 1:
Fox McCloud: Homestar
Slippy: Homsar
Peppy: Coach Z
Falco: Strong Bad
General Pepper: Strong Sad
ROB 64: Grape Nuts Robot
Andross: Himself
The late James McCloud: Dangeresque Too
Pigma: Sir Strong Bad (1936)
Location: I don't know!
"Corneria, the fourth planet of the Lylat System..." began the narrator.
"Okay! That's boring! We've already heard that! Come on! How do you maniacal players stand listening to that introduction every freakin' time you play the game?" asked Strong Bad.
"Well, they can skip the introduction by..." began Strong Sad.
"Whatever, okay, shut up! The Cheat, turn on the new introduction by plugging in that thing into that socket!" interrupted Strong Bad as he pushed the mute button to shut up the narrator as he was talking about Sir Strong Bad betraying his teammates.
"(Cheat noises of complaining)," answered the Cheat.
"Okay, so what if there's no recording? Play the background music, I'll start: Corneria, the planet saved by Star Fox, consisting of four people, Strong Bad, Dumbface, Coach Z, and Weirdo," said Strong Bad as the narrator.
"Hey Stwong Bad, why was Stwong Bad fiwst?" asked Homestar, unaware he was insulted.
"Uh, because I'm more awesomer than you?" answered Strong Bad.
"Oh, wight."
"And how come you said Homsar was Weirdo? He has a name too," said Strong Sad.
"Uh, what are you talking about, dumpus?" asked Strong Bad.
"Ugh, just continue! We're getting nowhere," replied Strong Sad.
"Anyway, before dumpus interrupted, the Star Fox was assigned by the loser named Dumpus, a.k.a. Strong Sad, who's stupid," continued Strong Bad.
"Hey!" complained Strong Sad.
"Anyway, the Star Fox went to the stupid planet of Venom where Homestar decided to go alone and destroy... Your stupid white head with your ugly ELEPHANT FEET! WHY THE CRAP ARE YOU COMPLAINING?!" shouted Strong Bad.
"I didn't complain! And besides, they're not elephant feet! They soolnds!" retorted Strong Sad.
"Oh yeah? What's with the rolling of your eyes? Want me to roll your eyes the other way forever?" asked Strong Bad as he held up his boxing gloves.
"Uh Strong Bad? How about I continue, using your text, without the insults?" asked the narrator, who managed to break through the mute button with Homsar's help.
"Fine."
"Corneria, the planet saved by Star Fox, consisting of four people: Ho... I mean, Strong Bad, Homestar, Coach Z, and Homsar, assigned by General Strong Sad. They went to Venom, their destination, and Homestar went alone to destroy a replica of Andross. Some days later, the real Andross, with his remaining army, invaded the planets: Corneria (again), Katina, Aquas, Zoness and Macbeth. Now we will resume onto the story..."
Location: Training Mode Place
An Arwing was flying above a gray tiled place in space. The place also consisted of black and gray pillars. Right now, the Arwing was approaching a place with gray doors sliding open and closed. Something with no voice told the Arwing to use the brakes. However, the Arwing didn't use the brakes, crashed into the doors, and lost its wing automatically.
"Oh man, I hate the one hit wing loss wule!" complained Homestar.
"Now spell: Message from General Strong Sad," reported Grape Nuts Robot.
Real Location: Great Fox Game Room
Homestar was playing Star Fox 64 on the Nintendo 64 system in the Game Room when he received the message. So he turned off the game system and ran to a room with the Grape Nuts Robot, Homsar, Strong Bad, and Coach Z. Then the Grape Nuts Robot pressed a button and they heard a message from Strong Sad.
"We need your help again, Star Fox! Andross with his remaining armies have declared war and invaded Corneria again! Please do what you did, but even better to defeat Andross, or we'll all die! Not that we aren't going to die anyway," pleaded Strong Sad.
So once again, Homestar, Strong Bad, Coach Z, and Homsar ran to their Arwings and flew to Corneria. On the way, Homestar put on his new pair of sunglasses.
Location: Corneria
Once again, the four Arwings gathered at the sky.
"S'up? I'm Kevin DuBwow," said Homestar.
"Oh shut up stupid," said Strong Bad.
"Okay, open the wings!" ordered Homestar.
So all Arwings opened their wings.
"How come we didn't do this last time?" asked Strong Bad.
"Ar, I don't know," answered Coach Z.
"Wepowt on G-Diffusows!" ordered Homestar.
"I'm a sturdy athletic mime!" reported Homsar.
"This is Coach Z, a-ok!" reported Coach Z.
"This is Strong Bad, I'm fine, except I have to work with these idiotic losers again," reported Strong Bad.
"Okay, let's wock and woll!" ordered Homestar as the four Arwings spread out while being close to each other.
First, Homestar encountered a ship, just like last time, so he shot it down with a single green laser. Next, there were two waves of three ships. Homestar destroyed them all in two shots while dodging their more dangerous shots. Then Homestar went down and shot the two ships that came from behind. Then Homsar flew by while five ships made a cross. Homestar shot them down in two hits, getting a Laser Upgrade.
"Homsar, get back hore! Boogey on yor tail!" cried out Coach Z.
Homsar was being chased by a ship with better accuracy, shooting Homsar more than often.
"DaAaAa! Oranges and lemons never cry with rye!" said Homsar.
So Homestar shot the enemy down with his new double green laser.
"I'm still a hot cube!" answered Homsar as he left.
Then Homestar shot down two flying enemies.
"Whoa! They wewent' thewe the last time," noticed Homestar.
"Well, this is expert mode. Notice the 'expert' in expert mode? Expert mode is harder, more enemies, and hit something besides projectiles, you lose a wing," explained Strong Bad.
"What did you say?" asked Homestar.
Then they entered a canyon, where there were five ships shooting at Homestar behind him with deadlier shots. Homestar managed to shoot them down while taking a few hits.
"Uh, is this Cownewian City? They destwoyed it fast," said Homestar as four flying enemies in front of a building shot orbs at Homestar.
"Yeah, once again, the invasion's horrible," said Strong Bad as Homestar destroyed the flying enemies and some ships.
"Everybody stay... never mind," said Coach Z as Homestar went through a door and got a bomb.
"Why?" asked Homestar as he flew by a road with some ships actually shooting at him, unlike last time.
"It's pointless. I was going to say 'Everybody stay alort!'" said Coach Z.
"That is pointless," said Strong Bad.
Then Homestar flew by a robot pushing down a building. Homestar shot down the robot and did a boost to get the Laser Upgrade before the building fell on him. Then he flew by three turret ships firing at him. Then two ships behind Homestar were shooting at him as well.
"You've got an ornomy on your toil!" alerted Coach Z.
"But Coach..." began Homestar.
"Borhind you!"
Homestar got some damage before using the brakes. Then he shot the enemies down with his new blue lasers. Then a building fell down because a robot pushed it. Homestar shot the robot and got a bomb.
"Wow, you are worse than you were last mission. What's up with you?" asked Strong Bad.
Then Homestar shot down a turret ship that was shooting at him. Then Homestar flew by some robots and flew under a gate to get a Supply Ring to heal his Arwing. Then he went through the Checkpoint, a blue ring with the word Checkpoint in the middle to heal his Arwing.
"Wow! Magic rings of Sauwon healed me!" said Homestar.
"You're still talking about that?" asked Strong Bad.
Homestar flew by some ruined buildings with turret ships shooting at him. Suddenly, three enemies appeared behind Strong Bad, shooting him.
"Oh no, they're going to shoot me down, because Dumbface is too slow to notice that I'm in danger, and will shoot down the enemies when it's too late," said Strong Bad as he tried to fly away from the ships.
"You mean like this?" asked Homestar as he shot a charged laser at the three ships, blasting them all.
"Whoa! This time, I'm thankful that I get to go to the end of this mission. Let's see if you're good enough," thanked Strong Bad as he flew away.
After that, they flew out of the city. Homestar encountered six enemies shooting at him ahead.
"Do a borral roll!" ordered Coach Z.
"Oh, you mean this?" asked Homestar as he spun around to deflect the ships' shots.
Then he shot the ships in three hits. Then he encountered robots with long Swiss Cake Rolls. One shot a Swiss Cake Roll at Homestar, but he dodged it and destroyed the robot. For the second one, the Swiss Cake Roll made contact with Homestar's Arwing, lobbing a wing off.
"Oh man! Those things awe weally bad fow you!" exclaimed Homestar.
Then he destroyed the robot with difficulty with a single green laser. Then he shot the next three machines on the ground shooting at him. Then he flew into a wing repair to repair his wings before going over the water. He went through the first arch and shot a skiing robot to destroy it. Then he went through the second arch.
"Whoa, pretty smooth flying, Homestar," commented Strong Bad.
Then Homestar shot down a skiing robot and went through an arch. Then he destroyed the next skiing robot, went through the next arch, and then the last arch while getting a Shield Ring to heal his Arwing. Then Homestar reached land, where the Attack Carrier flew above the waterfall on the right side of the canyon.
"Follow me, Homestar!" ordered Strong Bad as he began flying towards the waterfall the Attack Carrier flew over.
"Hey Stwong Bad, whewe awe you going?" asked Homestar.
"Well, we're not going to face that some kinda robot, so we're going to take down the target I found. Try to keep up!" explained Strong Bad as he flew through the waterfall and Homestar, Coach Z, and Homsar followed.
Then they arrived at a grassless area with birds dropping balls that sprout out fire. Homestar shot them down. Then he shot a turret ship down while Strong Bad flew by, chasing a ship.
"Time for a little payback!" said Strong Bad as he continued chasing the ship.
Then Homestar shot the green machines that jumped from trees. Soon, Strong Bad managed to shoot down that ship he was chasing.
"Hoo-ha! I rule!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
Then there were two waves of enemies. Homestar shot them in two hits. He got a Shield Ring and a Laser Upgrade for reward. Then he flew over water again.
"Aha! Someone wants to play with MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" said the Wheelchair.
"Incorming ornomy from the roar! Drop altitude!" ordered Coach Z.
So Homestar went up.
"No, go down, Dronus!" shouted Strong Bad.
Homestar managed to go down before the Attack Carrier crashed into him. Then Homestar flew in front of the Attack Carrier.
"To kill a mockingbird!" cried out Homsar as he gave Homestar the Attack Carrier's energy meter.
"Deploy all units! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!" shouted the Wheelchair as the Attack Carrier's right hangar opened up and released missiles.
Homestar, who played the game Star Fox 64, shot at the open spot with double lasers until it closed.
"I've got a present for YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!" shouted the Wheelchair.
"Aw, how nice!" commented Homestar.
Then the two hangars on the left opened, releasing more missiles. Homestar shot at the open spots before they closed. Then the hangar on the right opened, and Homestar shot at it until it fell off.
"All right! That's one more thing I'll be congratulated for!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
"Aim for the open sport!" ordered Coach Z.
"Coach Z, you're a little too late," said Strong Bad.
Then the two left hangars opened. Homestar shot at one of them until it detached.
"More credit for me!" exclaimed Strong Bad.
Then the remaining hangar released missiles when Homestar shot it and made it fall off. Then the ship began flying away from Homestar as Homestar shot it, blackening the Attack Carrier's energy meter.
"Yeah! It's working! Now maybe I can be the leader of Star Fox," said Strong Bad as he thought of what he'll do if he was leader.
The energy meter was almost completely black as the ship flew back to Homestar and shot orange lasers at him.
"GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" shouted the Wheelchair.
Homestar shot at the ship until the energy meter was completely black and all ships were in midair.
"Who are YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU???" asked the Wheelchair.
"I'm Homestaw... Wunnew..." began Homestar.
"We're Star Fox, bozo," said Strong Bad.
"Who's bozo? You mean we're Star Fox Bozo?" asked Homestar.
Then the Arwings began flying away as the Attack Carrier began exploding. While it did that, the Wheelchair said, "Andross will defeat YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!" before blowing up.
Then the Arwings flew to the sky as the mission victory music began playing.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
"Whoa! Hugew lettews!" exclaimed Homestar.
"Hey stupid, ask for a report from us!" shouted Strong Bad.
"Okay, wepowt!" ordered Homestar.
"DaAaAa! You're my barbzer!" exclaimed Homsar.
"You are being like your faither," commented Coach Z.
"I'm fine, are you? Because if you're not, mentally especially, I can always replace you as leader," said Strong Bad.
"Uh, I don't think so Stwong Bad," said Homestar as the Arwings flew away to Sector Y.
Poll
Should Homestar destroy at least 100 enemies to go to Aquas, where he will try out the new Blue Marine, or destroy at most 99 enemies to go to Katina, where he will reunite with Pom Pom?
a. Go to Aquas
b. Go to Katina