A/N: Okay so, (clears throat nervously) yeah. Crackpoetry. I'm pioneering it.
This was written for jennday, because I love her.
Ode to a Vampire Pirate
There was a lonely vampire,
Whose name was Edward Cullen.
He had no friends to speak of....
And no one to love 'im.
This lonely little vampire
Really was quite strange.
Not only could he mind-read-
He followed the pirate way.
He loved to sail the oceans,
Pillage towns and taverns.
It be not booty that he stole
But the lives of those within 'em!
It really was a pity
He was such a handsome lad.
His hair and voice made women drippy,
And the men quite mad.
But this sexy vampire,
Was shunned from door to door.
Vampires couldn't understand him
And pirates thought he'd eat them.
Then one day quite by chance,
Who should come aboard?
But a girl named Bella who loved strange fella's
Who had a thing for blood and treasure!
And so they lived quite happily,
This odd and freaky pair.
Edward may sometimes get snappy,
But Bella would just sigh into his hair.
A/N: Hear that sound? That's everyone who's ever liked my stories deleting me from their alert lists lol.