Disclaimer: I own nothing of Bones. Though I'm sure I'm not the only one to wish they certainly did.
AN: This is the first fanfiction I have ever published. Criticisms, opinions, comments or whatnots are appreciated. I finally got the gumption to have one published after years of sitting on the sidelines and reading one fanfic after another. I hope that despite the run-of-the-mill story, you all might still appreciate it somehow.
Ad Noctum
Chapter I
He stares at nothing as he sits on his couch, nursing a lone bottle of beer. His mind is far, far away from where he cradles more than just liquor but also a broken heart.
Today started simply enough with a body that they needed to check out. He called his partner and she said she'll meet him on the scene. Although a bit confused, he knew she was her own woman and so he conceded and let the question in his mind slide.
Upon arriving at the crime scene, he scanned around for her all-too-familiar figure. He felt the corners of his mouth turn up almost involuntarily at the mere thought of his Bones. When he finally caught sight of her, his smile turned into a grin.
He approached her and offered his usual cheery greeting, "Hey, Bones!"
She smiled briefly back at him, before she turned back to the body at hand. She offered him what information she could gather at that point of the investigation and when she was done, he nodded and said he would confirm what he could when he gets back to the office.
He was about to invite her to have a slice of pie and coffee with him at the diner but her phone interrupted him with its blaring tone. She shot him a quick apologetic look before she answered and walked farther away from him.
She was back by his side before he could contemplate on whether to eavesdrop or not on her conversation. And when he finally asked her to go to the diner with him, she apologized and said she had work to do.
For some reason, he felt that something was off with her—with them—today. Although friendly, her tone seemed to leave no room for argument and although eager to be with her, he hadn't pushed the issue on her being a workaholic, nor did he push her to set aside work for awhile to be with him.
He realized later on that perhaps he should have explored further what his gut was telling him.
It might have saved them both a whole lot of trouble.
But looking back to that moment in the crime scene and later on in the lab, Booth feels the pain intensify within him as he understands—and hates it—at the same time, that he had lost a battle that wasn't even supposed to be his. Worse, he lost and hadn't gotten up to fight back. He had given up.
And he wonders if that was the best move to make.
Booth glances up at the clock on his wall and notes the time.
Barely past eleven and he felt like he had been sitting there all night. He rubbed a hand across his face and glanced at the two pieces of paper sitting in front of him, on top of his coffee table.
It was a letter informing him that he had been recalled to active duty.
Under usual circumstances, he would have cursed against the forces-that-be for picking him once again to do a job that, despite being for his country, he now felt he could never survive in.
Under usual circumstances, after cursing and maybe pacing for a few moments within the confines of his apartment and wondering what to do, inevitably, he would have rushed towards Bones' place and shared with her this information.
Oh yes, it would be terribly painful for the two of them no doubt, but he firmly believed that his partner would have understood and no matter what, he would have given her a promise that he was coming back. She might argue with him about the chances of his promise actually holding up in the light of facts and statistics but she would have believed him—believed IN him—and he would go on that early morning flight to God-knows-where with promises he planned to keep.
They had been growing closer during these past few months. He thought that it was only a matter of time before he could finally take that last step for them and make the first move. This order he had to follow would have been a blow to their progress but not a drawback. He had faith in them.
He used to.
Tonight no longer falls under usual circumstances.
Bones probably wouldn't even be home, and she probably wouldn't even notice he was gone.
He would go on that early morning flight knowing that nothing, save for his son, would be waiting for him if he gets back.
Slowly, as if painfully, he stands up and heads for his bedroom.
It was time to pack up and go. He still had to pass by Rebecca's to say goodbye to Parker.
Dr. Temperance Brennan was usually a patient woman. She understood that the majority of things went through a certain process and hurrying that process up would no doubt just screw up the results.
But tonight was just testing what little patience she had left as she stared at the long line in the grocery. What the hell was I thinking, she grumbles inwardly and notes that a child two carts down looked as if she was in the beginning stages of a tantrum. The woman in front of her didn't look any more patient than she did and was beginning to talk back to the lady at the cash register to hurry up. Of course, it seemed that tonight just wasn't a good night and the lady shot back with a retort that pretty soon had them in an argument. Brennan suddenly felt like she was beginning to understand how Booth must have felt right before he shot that clown on the ice cream truck.
Speaking of her partner, she wonders where he is.
She had tried to call him earlier tonight and it kept on transferring to his voice mail. She had hoped to invite him for dinner after turning him down that morning for pie and coffee.
Brennan felt the beginnings of a smile form on her face as she always did whenever she recalled her partner. Of course, she tamped down the urge to grin like a fool when thoughts of him came passing through her head. Unless she was alone, or as the case tonight is, in the midst of strangers.
Finally, the store manager came out to break up the commotion and she sighed audibly once she was able to grab her purchases and leave.
Right before getting into her car, she felt the vibrations of her phone within her coat pocket. Dumping her groceries inside, she dragged her phone out and glanced at the screen. She huffed in frustration and rejected the call.
She slid into her vehicle and pulled out of the parking lot.
Seconds after turning onto the main road, her phone buzzed once more.
Ignoring it with gritted teeth, she finally arrived minutes later and parked in her rightful space.
When she finally enters her apartment, she takes out the offending and annoying piece of device and notes that there are a total of eight missed calls. All from the same man.
She deposits her bag and groceries onto the kitchen counter and huffs in annoyance. Debating on whether she still felt like making something for dinner or taking a shower, the brilliant doctor is struck by the thought of maybe just "kidnapping" her partner for dinner. Brennan grins at what she thinks is pure genius since it will get her two wondrous benefits: one, a very nice turnabout from when Booth would usually grab her from her lab with barely a moment's notice and second, of course that would mean her partner's company.
A frown mars her features as she remembers that first, she has to find him.
Damn that man for ruining what would have otherwise been a perfectly good plan.
But her happy mood will not be deterred and Brennan is nothing if not determined. Doubts about Booth probably preoccupied with something else (or maybe even someone—she dared not even follow that line of thought) begin to creep into her mind but before she could even stomp on them for good measure, her mobile phone buzzes once more.
It was sorely tempting to turn her phone off but she knows that important calls could come through, especially since her home number is unlisted. She feels like rolling her eyes in exasperation at the memory of how her paranoid partner detailed in a grand manner the reasons as to why she should have an unlisted number. Part of her agreed just to shut him up, and the other part was touched that he cared so much and knew that agreeing with him was likely to make him happy.
And Brennan realized a wee bit earlier on that when Booth was happy, she was happy.
Her thoughts are disrupted by her mobile and with an impatient sigh, she finally answers.
"What?" She snaps.
"Tempe, I just want to talk to you."
"We have nothing to talk about. I told you that things have changed, I have changed and definitely so did my feelings."
"Tempe, if you could just—" She cuts him off, "Give you another chance?"
She breathes in deeply, hoping to gain enough strength to tell him off once and for all.
"Look, Sully. It was great when we were together. I admit, it was fun and I was happy enough when I felt like I belonged for a change. I began to feel…normal."
Before he could interrupt, Brennan continues as she moves further into her living room and slumps on her couch.
"But I realized belatedly, that I already felt that way even before I got involved with you. I was stupid enough to try and find for so-called normalcy and somewhere or someone to feel at home with…But I did—I do, have someone already."
She sighs and feels a small smile form on her face once more as she pulls a picture frame towards her as she continues.
"Sully, I need you to listen carefully because I swear I will only say this once. Only once, and then I want you to leave me alone." He tried to cut in but she quickly added, "If you don't, I swear I will kick your ass. Never mind that I think we're better off as friends but I WILL hurt you if you keep on coming after me like this." Although if Booth only knew about what was going on with Sully, her partner just might kick her ex-boyfriend for her and once again, she tried not to feel giddy about that particular thought. After all, Booth's alpha male ego certainly should not be allowed to get any bigger than it already is.
She thought she heard a mumble of a "yes" and she breathes a short sigh of relief.
Brennan turns her gaze onto the picture in her hands and with a soft voice full of emotion, she speaks, "If it weren't for Booth, I doubt if I would have even given you the time of day. True, maybe we would have gone out for awhile but I truly doubt if we would have progressed beyond a single date and a night together. He encouraged me to take the risks that I did with you. And it's funny if not frustrating that I could honestly take that step with you but not with him it seems." A finger traces the line of Booth's jaw in the photograph.
There was silence on the other end of the line and she thought he might have hung up on her but then he spoke.
"Then what are you doing? Why aren't you with him?" His voice sounded strangled and she felt guilty for putting him through this but knew that he deserved the truth.
"Because he's one of the best things to ever happen to me and I can't possibly imagine my life without him. I can't take that chance. Not yet."
A sigh and then a rustle was heard from his end before a knock sounded from her door.
Puzzled, she peered into her peephole and found him on the other side.
She thumbed her phone off and opened the door, not bothering to say goodbye.
"Booth."
He had debated with himself on whether he would call her up or tell her in person. A huge part, hurt as he was, could not allow himself to leave without saying goodbye. He also knew that despite her choice—as was evident in that liplock he found her engaged with in the midst of her office—they were friends. Friends don't just leave without saying anything.
And with Brennan's history, he admits that he couldn't simply do to her what her parents had done before.
He knew how much that pained Brennan and even if she now had someone else to lean on and ensure her happiness, he could not betray her trust by not telling her the truth in person.
So here he stands in front of her, eager and desperate to get this over with.
"Booth."
"Hey, Bones."
A smile slowly forms on her lips and she grabs onto his arm as she drags him inside.
"I've been trying to call you for some time now. Where were you?" She asks.
He shrugs and distracts himself by closing the door as his other hand reaches into his pocket.
"I was in my apartment. Packing." He adds belatedly as he meets Brennan's curious gaze. Booth couldn't take it and looked down at his pair of shoes like the cure to his pain could be found in the soles of such footwear.
"Packing? Do we have a case?" He was subdued and he wouldn't look her in the eye.
"Booth?" She was beginning to get worried. She notes that he is clutching something in one of his hands.
"What's going on?"
He hands her what looks to be a crumpled letter envelope. She looks up at him, confused to no end but reaches for it nonetheless.
Before she even opens it, she notices the insignia.
And she knows.
Without any confusion, dammit she knows.
"No." She whispers, staring at the paper that seems to be the anathema to all the hope that she had dared to keep since she let him in.
"I leave—" He starts, but Brennan cuts him off.
"No! This isn't right, Booth. Not now. Please Booth. Not now." A tear began to fall and she could not even muster the strength to wipe it away.
Booth barely held himself back. He wanted so badly to reach for her and tell her that everything will be okay. That he WILL come back. He'll dare to make that promise, for her.
He can't leave her like this.
A masculine hand begins its slow ascent towards her shaking ones.
A promise, ready to emulate from his lips...
"Bones, I—"
The sound of pounding on the door breaks the moment and the unmistakable voice of one Timothy Sullivan, shatters everything the heartbroken FBI agent had planned to say.
"Tempe! Are you in there?! Tempe!"
Puzzled, furious, hurt, sad, pissed… Brennan almost feels relieved at Sully's presence.
Maybe she can take her anger out on him instead.
But when she glances at Booth, she freezes at the hard lines on his face, flashes of hurt and pain in his eyes, and something she can't quite place.
She may not be able to read people as well as Booth did but she thought she at least had her partner figured out. Most of the time.
The pounding snaps her out of her reverie and she sees Booth begin to back away towards the doorway.
"I have to go." He mutters, turns his back on her, just as good as yanks the door open and almost runs over Sully on the way.
Before she could process it all, Booth is gone.
What happened?
Brennan stares at the spot where Booth had stood mere moments ago.
Her mind, quick as lightning and sharp as a blade now seemed to be on hold. A thousand thoughts are running through her head and all of them bring her back to the last few seconds of when her partner turned his back and walked away.
But then the sound of crinkling paper brings her back to the present and she recalls one important fact.
He is going to war.
And she is most terrified at that thought.
Sully is left standing there like a gaping fish, wondering what has gotten Booth so worked up.
Temperance almost looks like death warmed over except there is this look in her eyes he has never seen before.
Now, that look is slowly being replaced by…
He gulps in fear as he realizes that it was a look containing barely held together of murderous intent.
Silence.
"I'm sorry. I…you hung up so suddenly…I was just worried…I'm sorry…Tempe…? I didn't mean to…well…I hope I didn't…" Sully stutters.
"Get out." Her voice was so deep. It was almost like a growl.
Stupid asshole! How dare he interrupt us! Booth was about to say something and he dare goes pounding on the door! Dammit!
Dammit all to hell!
"Temperance—"
"Get out, Sully!" Her voice had begun to rise and he found himself almost stumbling on his own two feet. Hurrying to comply to her command.
Brennan stares at the wide open door for a moment.
She stares at the envelope in her hands.
Already resembling a cross between high powered gears and computers, the doctor's mind begins to sort out what needed to be process now and what can be processed later.
First, find Booth. She WILL NOT allow him to leave just like that.
Yes, it hurts like hell to find out that he has to leave but she knows that this is exactly who her partner is—and will always be. She can expect nothing less from him for serving his country by going back and reliving a time where most of his nightmares and fears come from.
Second, deduce where he might head to next.
Search for clues. Any clue.
She almost rips the envelope open and stares at the pieces of paper without seeing it clearly. She's still preoccupied with thoughts on how to find Booth.
At the same time, try his phone.
If need be, she'll dare even disturb Hodgins and get him to pull every string he can to try and trace Booth, hell, maybe even Cullen.
She just hopes that he doesn't have to leave straight away tonight.
Not without a proper goodbye.
Goodbyes.
Parker.
He couldn't leave without spending a little bit more time with Parker.
Whatever may be going on with Booth, he will not allow it to get in the way of seeing his son and possibly promising the dear child that he will come back.
The paper she holds somehow begins to beckon her attention and only then does her vision clear as the words finally make sense.
To a Girl
Did you ever love someone,
And know they didn't love you?
Did you ever feel like crying,
And think what good it will do?
Did you ever look into their eyes,
And say a little prayer?
Did you ever look into their heart,
And wish that you were there?
Did you ever see her dancing,
When the lights are turned down low?
Did you ever say, "God I love her",
But couldn't let her know?
Did you ever wonder where she is at night,
Perhaps it is with someone new?
One moment you are happy
Next moment you are blue?
So if you ever fall in love my friend,
You'll find it doesn't pay.
Although it causes broken hearts,
It happens everyday.
And when it starts, you'll never know
You'll worry day and night.
You just can't let her see you…
It'll never turn out right.
So if you fall in love my friend,
You'll be hurt, oh yes it's true.
You see my friend, (I ought to know)
I fell in love with you.
This story was inspired by the italicized lines below. I have no idea who to credit the poem to, but I know that I got it back during 6th grade when poetry was such a fad among me and my peers. I was rummaging around my old stuff and found it.
Anyway, I wish to give credit to whomever wrote it. I'll try to find its creator and hopefully, give acknowledgement where it is due.