disclaim time: I. DON'T. BLEACH.
so i haven't been able to update lately. test coming up, birthdays, parties blah blah blah blah blah. still I'm updating now. have fun reading ;
Ahh, Ichigo's room. It was bigger than normal size, but still a normal room. So how the fuck could a huge screen with cables attaché, Urahara and co. minus the girls, all the important men in soul society and their materialize zapakuto fit in it. Of course, the soutaicho and his vice-captain isn't here….they were looking through the big ass screen. It was a wonder, no it was more than that, it is the eight mystery of Karakura town.
Anyways, the reason why they are here. To deal with the problem, like a plague it started out small barely noticeable. Then it spread until it affected everybody, even as far as turning some of their own against them. This problem's name is Matsumoto Rangiku. Why they choose this stupid place instead of the Kuchiki mansion, where it's roomy and spacious and nobody's in Toshiro Hitsugaya's personal bubble. This let me tell you is very big. Because a certain orange head ,AKA the problem, manage to load Yachiru up with 30 cans of soda, 15 chocolate cake ( wedding size) and about 100 dollars' worth of candy. Then let the hyper devil loose in "byakushi's" house. The mansion was ruined in 6 seconds flat. New personal record if you ask me. Soul Society had never heard a nobler shriek. Anyways the pink thing is now in a sugar induced comatose and the mansion is currently being rebuilt. Hence why they are holding a meeting in the living world. Or more accurately the Substitute's room. Some of the men here wouldn't be caught dead here but since they are dead. That excuse is out. Byakuya was here because it was his house that got destroyed and he wanted insurance money now. Toshiro was here because the main subject of this meeting was his fukutaicho. The rest were here cause its fun or they were victims of the problem. Mostly victims though.
Ichigo's doing shopping with Rukia and the father was out on some kind of doctor cross country trip. And nobody in the room except for the actual Karakura residents knows of the twins…
"Can you believe it! The woman glued a wig on my head and convinces me it grew overnight. Then she crushed my dreams by having Yachiru eat it off my head. PAINFULLY!" a certain baldy yelled with tears at the corners of his eyes.
"Well, that's not as worse as the time when she spiked my sake and made me acted like a dog for a week. A whole week! And what's more, my precious Nanao-chan keeps asking her for the drug she used." Wailed Shunshui. He was Matsumoto's drinking partner. You know someone's pranks have gone too far when he thinks it bad. Everybody gave him sympathizing looks. And Ukitake comforted him.
"Shut up wimps. Look at my hair! LOOK AT IT" Roared Kenpachi, "bitch put pink hair dye in my hair gel. And even had the nerve to write 'like daughter like father' on a note next to it!"
"You shitting me. The damn demoness sent me a suicide letter saying it's from Shuheii and that I could kill him. When I showed up the Shinigami Women Association ambushed me and made me listen to caramelldansen in 51 languages! 51!" Kazeshini complained.
"Hey! That's not suicide that's murder if you killed me" his master yelled.
"No it's not murder. Suicide is when you kill yourself, since I am you, so if I kill you it's suicide." Kazeshini argued. One of those times when zanpakuto wisdom comes through. Even if it was on the correct term of killing people. Meh, beggars can't be choosers.
Everybody started talking and arguing at once. Suddenly having an I'm-suffering-more-than-you-are-suffering competition. Then the cane slammed down. Silence reign as everybody looked to the screen.
"Enough with the swabbing we met here to discuss what to do with the problem not fight about what it did." The old man then open one eye, "Also why are you wearing those ridiculous outfits?"
All of them were wearing standard shinigami men's association uniform. No shirt, black hakamas with some short of bonding around the torso, their kosode placed on their shoulders instead of them wearing it. And of course the mandatory sunglasses. Trust me, seeing Byakuya and Mayuri in these clothing was shocking to say the least. Who knew Mayuri actually had a human body under all those clothes and make up? Together it looks like a meeting of the top gang leaders instead of a meeting to solve the problem.
Mayuri was the one to answer" Hnnn, you see soutaicho because we are meeting with the SMA we are technically a member of the SMA therefore we must follow their rules. And unfortunately, the dress code is included in those rules."
"I see" the geezer replied. 'I see' my ass. Riddle of the day everyone: how can the old man "see" if he doesn't open his eyes? Answer: when you find it tell me, cuz I don't know.
*******************S***********************************M**************************************A*************************************
Karin opened the door to her house prepared to dodge or/and hit goat chin if he comes flying at her, then she remembered, her father was away for a week. Such a pain, why does he have to go. Now I got to find someone else to beat up. Hmm, I'll go to Kisuke's store later then. She thought. Sighing she stepped in and close the door, setting her soccer bag on the floor she went up to her room that she shared with her sister. They were going to try on the costume and rehearse for a play they were doing in school. Instead of those fairy tales they do every year. This year they were doing a mafia story, she and Yuzu got the lead. She would be playing the top boss, with the gun and tuxedo and all, while Yuzu was the innocent girl they were keeping hostage. The point of the story was for the boss and the hostage to set aside their differences and become friends. The moral kind of ruined the whole show. The only reason why she was even participating was because she gets to fire some guns. Not real guns just pistols that shoot out condensed air. Still, they did damage and a certain red head is playing the boyfriend of the hostage and most importantly: the one she gets to shoot at. This is gonna be fun. Karin thought laughing darkly to herself.
Karin entered her room; Yuzu was already in the pure white dress she would be wearing. She was 14 and her caramel hair shone against the dress. She looked like an angel, probably why she was picked for this role. Smiling at her Karin walked to the bed and changed into the costume her twin lay out for her. Looking at the final result in the mirror Karin had to admit she looked badass. Well as badassed as a 14 year old girl could look. With her dark eyes, black hair and also black tuxedo and fedora, Karin looked extremely liked a gang leader, Al Capone style, somebody you don't want to mess with. Which was also probably why she was picked for that role.
"Kyaaa! Karin-chan. You look so cool. The play will be great," Yuzu squealed.
Karin picked up her guns. The ones she'll be using in the show. There were two. One was blood red with a streak of black in it while the other was obsidian black with a streak of red in it. They were beautiful and deadly. And they were hers, built and customized by Urahara, they helped her kill the Hollows that appears surprisingly when she doesn't have a soccer ball. Karin grinned and began saying the lines, from the top.
They were about half way through the play when they heard yelling, dismissing it as the neighbors, they continued. It was the part when the boss realizes he has more in common with the girl than he thought. (Yes, Karin is a boy in this play). It was also when they heard slams and more yelling. Like 30 different people were arguing at the same time yelling. Then silence. Then yelling all over again. And it was all coming from Ichigo's room. Meeting her twin's wide eye stare. Karin motioned to be quiet and follow her. Picking up the guns on her way out, she masked her reiatsu and stood outside Ichi-nii's door. Yuzu was following closely behind holding a spatula in her hands.
Where did you get that? Karin's look told Yuzu.
Not exactly important right now Karin. Yuzu shrugged. Twins, telepathy, don't you wish you had it.
Then nodding as one. Karin closed her eyes, took a deep breath and burst open the door aiming the guns at some faces in the room. "FREEZE, HANDS IN THE AIR OR DIE!" Okay, a little extreme, but it had the desire effect. Jaws drop, eyes widen and get this, everybody froze.
whoo. took a hell long time to edit. but it's fun. so review review.
MERCYN