Author's Note:
Ok guys: anyone who's read other fics of mine, just know that this story is a little...different. This is a story that I had to write because I felt that Peter-Although I love Sean for Emma 100 percent and not that jac-! That...guy.-deserved some type of recognition because he did help Emma out at a time that I know, from personal experience, is very difficult. This story is the first one that I am writing about Anorexia and it is really close to me because of that...So, anyone who would like to review cool, but if not, that's fine too. I'm just really hoping this story opens the eyes of those who may not understand, but most importantly gives hope to any girls out there who have ever dealt with or are still are dealing with an eating disorder. I really hope that this inspires you girls to know that every one of you deserves to have a "Sean"-or God forbid, even a "Peter" (bleh!)-who will stand by you and let you know that there is light on the other side…
This ones for you guys...
Jazzy-Raveler!
Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, Sean would be the one who helped Emma to begin with...
" All Ways"…Always
Chapter 1:
Enter Anorexia
Sean Cameron had been out of jail for about a month and as Emma Nelson watched the love of her life sleeping noiselessly on her couch, she gently slid the soft brown hair out, of his tense and unmoving face.
Somehow, The two were in Emma's house all alone; No Snake, No Spike, No Manny, How'd this happen? Emma'd wondered when Sean had come over. She wasn't intending to be alone with him; although, she found, that she didn't mind too much.
Emma and Sean had been sitting on her couch, eating pizza, and "watching" a movie, although he'd fallen asleep only shortly after the movie had come on. They'd been in the middle of making out actually, but Emma didn't mind; she knew that Sean had been through a lot and was really tired, so she simply leaned him back against the opposite arm of the couch, and pulled a blanket, one she'd knitted for him when he was in jail, over his tired, softly heaving, body.
Suddenly, a mound of thoughts that Emma had visited a few times before begin to freeflow through her mind. She had been thinking a lot about all this but hadn't been able to really really think about it, so a sleeping Sean kinda helped.
At first, Emma hadn't been sure that she could take dating Sean again. Sean Cameron and Emma Nelson had major history. They were each other's history and there was no getting around it. Emma had quickly realized that staying with Peter, her boyfriend at the time when Sean'd returned, out of guilt wasn't worth it. Not to mention the fact that Peter admitted to her that he was the one who'd framed Sean, and gotten him kicked out of Degrassi, by putting drugs in his locker…
Still, as Emma sat staring thoughtfully at Sean, she couldn't help but to feel just a twinge of pain and guilt thinking of how while Peter had been there for her during all of her "body issues", as she'd told Sean when her asked her if "something happened last year" Sean hadn't.
Sean had left right after the shooting leaving Emma all alone to scrape up what was left of her life and try and find herself. Emma had never really blamed Sean for leaving, knowing that if she'd had the chance, she would've left too; not to mention the fact that when he left? The two weren't even dating. But still the two had formed a mutual understanding before he left. He apologized for everything that they'd gone through and she accepted his apology. So, in short, she still loved him and rest of her year without him had been…complicated, to say the least.
The next year, Emma had promised herself would be better and so when she'd developed a crush on the baby-faced Peter Stone, Emma could already feel that something…interesting was going to happen.
What Emma hadn't known was that Peter would end up filming her best friend, Manny Santos, topless and emailing it around the entire school.
She also didn't know that this wouldn't change her feelings for him…
Soon, Emma'd been in a whirlwind secret romance with Peter, obsessing over her mother and step-dad's disintegrating relationship-due to the fact that Snake, said step-dad, had been caught necking with none other than, Peter's mom/The Principal, not to mention the fact that Manny, after being kicked out of her home, had moved in with Emma, and was just about as self-sufficient as Emma's 4 yr old brother Jack.
At only 16, Emma had been bogged down with worries and concerns that no normal 16 yr old should or would even dream of having; getting Keeping her entire house clean, cooked for, and running, helping Manny through any of her many issues, trying to maintain a semi-hostile relationship with the only father she'd ever known, secretly dating her boyfriend, and all the while trying to figure out why in the Hell Rick, the Shooting, and Sean, were still on her mind. Lingering like an unwelcome and despised song that she just couldn't seem to stop humming…
Enter Anorexia…
Emma had needed that control, some thing one thing that she could make sure would go exactly the way she wanted it…
It was the only thing that noone could manipulate except for her…
Her body…
Slowly it had gone from a thought…
to an idea…
to an obsession, before spiraling into an allout deadly disease.
The way that she'd gotten so far Emma wasn't sure. It had all started out soooo simple…
Eating only health foods…
Jogging and eating only small amounts of health food
Jogging insanely and eating only small bits of health food….
Jogging obsessively and not eating at all…
Now and then eating something so insane, so…diet-unraveling that she'd have to-Have to…she'd always told herself…
Purge.
Manny had gotten involved in it too.
But, not as involved as Emma.
And that day when Manny'd had abandoned her
Refusing to throw up the slice of pizza she'd just eaten and leaving Emma in the bathroom saying "There's a little too much crazy in here!"?
That was the first day that Emma had been in confirmed and complete denial.
She wasn't sick…
Manny was the one…
And she'd stumbled out into the hallway about to tell her as much, when suddenly Everything had blackened,
And she felt her body pressing up against something hard and cold.
Waking up in the high school hallway with your face pressed to the sticky, dirty floor?
Should be a wake-up call.
But for Emma?
It was almost a high
Noone knew…
Noone had any control over the situation except for her
And now…?
Now, Emma was going to make sure that everything with her body went exactly according to plan…