I fell to the floor as he hit me "Get up! Get the fuck up I said!" he screamed. I was crying. why did this have to happen to me? I hate my life. Why cant he just kill me and put me out of my misery? Oh that's right, he's a heartless monster. You want to know the really sad part. It wasn't always like this. He used to be sweet and loving and a total goofball, that's who I fell in love with. Not the man standing above me screaming cuss words at me, calling me weak after I fell from his fist colliding with my face. That's why I cant leave. I love him. Sometimes I wish it had been like this from the beginning, if it had I would have left a long time ago. I wouldn't have fell in love with the devil himself. Elijah Goldsworthy needed help, he has promised me more than a thousand times "Oh I'm so sorry Clare. It will never happen again I swear. I'll get help." then he would kiss my forehead and leave the room with his head down, like he was ashamed of what he did. And sure at the time he probably was sorry, and he probably did mean it. But not now. It's not Eli right now. I am not worthy enough to call him by his first name. I'm not worthy enough to address him at all. I was to stay silent. No tears, that earns a slap to the face. No screams, that earns a kick to the gut. He's ruthless, a lion about to attack its prey. No begging, that earns a night of pain and sorrow you will never know. Have you ever been raped by your own husband? I have. But I have to act like I enjoy it, if I don't... I don't even want to consider the consequences.