Ahh, another story...been working on this one for quite some time, I'm actually quite surprised I managed to finish the first chapter...and actually have some plans for future chapters...o_o That's new for me...

I became inspired after finding and watching several very good RobxRae vids on YouTube, but this is a plot that has always been lurking in the back of my mind. I've used the basic idea in a couple RPs, but I never got around to really developing it and writing it up as a fanfiction...until now that is. Seems I just needed a little extra inspiration during one of my witting moods... :P

Anyway, I just want to say a few quick things...

-I'm actually dyslexic, so I'm sure there are several spelling and grammatical errors throughout the story, even though I re-read it several times. Your more then welcome to point them out to me so I can change them, but all I ask is that you do it kindly.

-I am very open to constructive criticism. I understand I'm not a very good writer and always appreciate any advice. Feel free to criticize constructively ;)

-Don't freak out and flame the pairing. Just...don't. Yes, I know, its not cannon and blah blah...but honestly, I don't give a crap. Starfire is perfectly fine as a character, I don't mind her, I just personally think that Robin and Raven are a better couple for several reasons. And that's my personal opinion, please respect it.

Okay, now that thats out of the way...

DISCLAIMER: God...really? Do I have to? Fine...In no way, shape, or form do I own Teen Titans or any of its characters. Seriously, isn't it obvious what would happen if I did? Do you think Star and Robin would be to together and it woudlld have ended with just the movie? I don't think so -_-; jeez...theres a reason its called FANFICTION people...

...

Enjoy the story, and please review ^-^

Love.

It's an emotion I'm not too familiar with….for obvious reasons. Growing up with a devil of a father….literally….and a mother who wasn't entirely sure what to think of me didn't exactly help there. And don't even get me started on the people of Azarath….they either hated me, feared me, or a combination of the two.

In short, love to me was as real as those romantic fairy tales about knights in shining armor slaying dragons and rescuing maidens in distress for a long, long time….until I met my friends and became a Titan. That's when it all started….

The first time I experienced any type of love was with Cyborg. Almost right away he sort of…adopted me as a younger sister. I think he felt sorry for me….the others let me be in the beginning, especially Beast Boy…who I'd freaked out with my powers when we'd first met. I was used to being distant from others, that's how it was back home, but Cyborg didn't think it was fair….so he made a conscious effort to include me, talk to me….treat me like a normal human being. I resisted, not used to and confused by the kindness….unsure what to think of it and how to react. I didn't want to do something wrong and end up thought of like Starfire….ditsy, air-headed, clueless, and in general not very intelligent….no way in hell was I going to get a reputation like that just because I didn't know how to react to standard human kindness.

Thankfully, Cyborg wasn't too discouraged by my coldness….after a little while he started giving me more space, letting me do my own thing, but he continued to be nice and considerate towards me. Slowly I became accustomed to it and we developed this sibling-like bond…..and after a little while I first began to feel that distinctive feeling of attachment and caring. But I was a bit confused about it and choose ignore it at the time….it wasn't unpleasant, and wasn't strong enough to effect my powers on a day-to-day basis. No need to fuss over it.

So, Cyborg became my older brother…..

After I'd initially creeped out Beast Boy with my powers, it took him a few months to warm up to me….but once he did….well…he made it his personal mission to make me laugh. I was the only Titan who didn't laugh, didn't smile….hell, I didn't even smirk. I'd had to keep every one of my emotions completely controlled and in check my entire life to stop from hurting anyone….so of course I showed absolutely zero amusement regardless of how funny something was….and at that point in time, happiness and amusement were emotions I wasn't too overly familiar with either. I'd felt them before from other people, thanks to my empathic abilities, but had never experienced either myself. Of course Beast Boy didn't get this….he couldn't have been expected to….and set out on his 'mission' to make me smile at one of his jokes. Of course he didn't come anywhere close to succeeding…..but he persisted. At first it confused me, but then it just became annoying. I'd put up with it for a while and then just one day snap at him. It wasn't anything big…usually I'd just destroy up whatever he was holding, or some unfortunate small object that happened to be sitting near me. The first few times it happened, afterward he would be hesitant to approach me for about a week…..and then I began feeling guilty. Guilt was an emotion I'd felt before….when I was little and couldn't yet reign in my emotions completely, sometimes I'd end up destroying something, or hurting someone when I got upset….then everyone would get mad at me and I'd feel guilty. I hadn't meant to hurt anyone…it was the last thing I ever wanted to do.

One time I ended up making a sad attempt at an apology to Beast Boy….from then on my occasional snaps didn't bother him and he continued on with his 'mission'. As time went by, I began to snap less and less….only when I was in a bad mood or troubled by something. I still found Beast Boy annoying, but there was another side to it…..I started to feel that same sort of attachment to him as well…..only a little different. Instead of feeling protected and cared for, like I did with Cyborg, I felt like I was the one protecting and watching out for Beast boy. By now I had a…somewhat better understanding of this feeling….I'd begun exploring this particular emotion more and actually figured out what it was. I still didn't fully understand it, but that was okay….for the time being, I didn't really have to.

So, Beast Boy became my annoying little brother….

Now Starfire…..I'll admit that I didn't like her from the start. I guess most would find her 'ignorance and innocents' cute and/or feel sorry for her…..I didn't. I found her cluelessness and airheadedness to be irritating. By earth standards, she was perfect. Tall, nice figure, wore skimpy clothing, naive, happy-go-lucky, wanted to see everyone around her smiling and cheerful all the time…..prefect. Too perfect. It was annoying as hell. Everything ABOUT her was annoying. I'll admit I was a little jealous….Star had never had to experience all the negative and dark aspects of life...what I would give to erase even some of my experiences from existence. So, of course there was jealousy there…but I also just found her plain annoying too. I quickly adopted the practice of ignoring her. It was all well in good in the beginning, the others taught her how things worked here on earth and she didn't pay much mind to me…but the second she learned how most normal earth girls hung out, went shopping, and did all that stuff she began to poke and prod me. She started out not being afraid of me at all…big mistake. I already didn't like her, so unlike with Beast Boy, as soon as my patients wore thin with her I….well I blew up the kitchen….literally. No exaggeration there. We were forced to eat out exclusively for about a month.

Luckily this was enough to somewhat discourage her….she'd still ask to do stuff with me, but as soon as there were any signs that I was getting ticked she'd usually back off…..so I tolerated her. But then came that whole body-exchange incident….

Now, I wouldn't say she was suddenly my best friend after that, but we did grow a bit closer. Obviously I had only told her enough about my past for her to understand how my powers worked…..she didn't need to know anything else….but she was the first Titan that got to hear anything about my past at all. I could tell she felt sorry for me, but luckily she didn't get too mushy….after everything was said and done she seemed to be a lot more understanding…she'd ask me to do things, but now with the true intention of getting to know me a little better, not just because she thought that's what all earth girls did and should do. I ended up giving in here and there. We didn't do much really, I'd watch her dress up in different outfits, listen to her talk, and let her do my hair and nails even sometimes….but she was careful not to get too overly enthusiastic because she knew that bothered me. I appreciated that. That was the first time I really started to enjoy life I think….my first real experience of fun.

So, Star Fire became a good friend….I wouldn't quite go so far as to say a sister, but a good friend for sure.

And then there was Robin….. this is where things get complicated. Now, I was able to figure out the other Titans rather easily….but Robin was different. He was extremely good at locking away within himself; I had a difficult time reading him, even with my empathic abilities…..there where, and still are, times when I would have had to put all my energy into concentrating on him if I wanted to figure out what he was feeling and thinking….and there was no way I could pull that off without him noticing what I was doing. He was very alert and in-toon with his surroundings...even I couldn't surprise him. He was also the only Titan who didn't try to get me to open up at first…..he treated me normally, just like the others, but never once did he even attempt to invade my personal bubble. He didn't try to start up meaningless conversations with me if we met in the kitchen, he didn't make stupid jokes in an attempt to get me to crack a smile…he was the only Titan who really understood me to the fullest, without hardly knowing anything about me…and that was because we were just alike. I could tell he'd seen the horrors of life….the pain and suffering of loneliness and loss. Most of the time he kept that all very well hidden, even beyond my detection, but sometimes at night I woke to an almost overwhelming sense of sorrow….eventually I was able to trace it back to his room. He was usually asleep….dreaming about the past, the horrible memories…..I didn't go into his mind, and I didn't say anything. He let me be, and I let him be….He didn't bother me when I was reading or meditating, I didn't bother him when he was watching TV or researching…he didn't prod about my past, I didn't prod about his….it was an unspoken mutual agreement between the two of us, an understanding. And that's what drew us closer….we understood one another better than any of the other Titans could ever imagine, even without hardly having to say anything, know anything about each other. I don't think either of us were aware of this connection for quite some time….it developed and strengthened right under our noses….and after almost two years together we were so used to it and each other that we never even gave it a second thought. But then there was the whole incident with Robin hallucinating Slade …..

I'd had to enter his mind, travel through his memories, see his past…..and then leave a piece of my own soul within him. I immediately felt my connection with him grow far stronger ….it was like a fog had just lifted. Where before I had to concentrate to find out what he was feeling, I could identify every one of his current emotions clearly right away…...and I could hear his thoughts as well. Doubting this was just a one-way thing I did my best to shut this connection off as soon as everything was taken care of and back to normal….but there was only so much I could shut down. I was able to block off the exchange of thoughts alright, but not the emotions….for some reason, I couldn't put up a very good barrier between our emotions….

Of course he noticed this….(what DIDN'T he notice..?)...And he approached me about it a few days after the incident. I tried to shrug it off and give him as little information as possible, but he had none of that. He literally pushed past me….gently, of course, he would never have tried to hurt me…..and into my room, shut the door, sat on my bed with his arms crossed, and refusing to budge until I explained what was going on. It wasn't long before I gave in…Robin was incredibly stubborn, I knew he would literally sit there day and night until I gave him a satisfactory explanation. So, as frustrated as I was, I explained everything….how the connection worked, how it happened…everything. He was surprised and a little uncomfortable when he found out that I'd seen his entire past, that I knew everything about him….I began to feel guilty about it then and apologized, promising that I would never say a word…..even though I knew he knew already I wouldn't….but to my surprise…he smiled at me. I'll never forget what he said at that moment….

"Don't worry about it Rae….Actually, I'd rather you know than anyone else on the team….don't get me wrong, I know they're pasts weren't all rainbows and sunshine, but they wouldn't be able to comprehend everything I've been through like you can…so it's okay."

He then gave me another, slightly more awkward smile, patted my shoulder and moved out of the room…..leaving me completely dumbfounded. He had just acknowledged that the two of us were so close that he trusted me more than any other Titan….he trusted me….no one had ever really said they'd trusted me before and to be honest I'd always questioned whether the others actually did….but there it was, right in front of me, impossible to ignore…Robin trusted me...

After that we grew even closer. He became more protective over me….In battle all I had to do was glance over and there he was, right at my side, ready to catch me if I fell. He did catch me on several occasions, and I caught him sometimes as well.

He started inviting me down to train and spar with him in the mornings….after a few times I finally accepted, knowing he'd just keep asking until I gave in...and I actually found it quite enjoyable and relaxing…not to mention I was able to fine-toon my hand-to-hand combat and within a couple months we were an even match.

Our mental bond grew stronger as well….unsurprisingly he figured out how it all worked rather quickly….though somewhat surprisingly he didn't attempt to shut off much. The barrier between our thoughts was kept up to an extent of course for privacy, but he figured out that we could speak mentally….so that's where most of our conversations were held. I had to admit, the looks we'd get from the others when we made the occasional seemingly random(to them at least)face during a mental conversation was quite amusing….if only they knew…

But he let his emotions flow freely between the connection, only holding back enough so that I wasn't overwhelmed. At first I thought it was simply because of the trusting bond we'd formed…..but now I realize he also did it to help me. Slowly I gained a better understanding of emotions in general and learned to express my own a little more without having my powers go haywire. He'd been able to teach me what the old and wise monks of Azarath hadn't been able to…how to feel without hurting others. For just that, I'm eternally grateful towards him….don't even get me started on everything else…

We fought and worked together in complete harmony. Sure, we worked with the rest of the Titans well enough, but just the two of us…there was no comparison. We were a formidable team on the battle field, and co-existed in the same house amazingly well. The others got on our nerves occasionally, but we never got on one another's…..and that was a big thing for me. I had never particularly enjoyed company….yet, I found myself seeking him out, craving to be with him even, very greatly enjoying and treasuring every moment I spent alone with him….outwardly showing more emotion during those moments….feeling more emotion around him…and one particular emotion stronger than the others…

And so Robin became my first love interest

Obviously it was quite some time before I recognized and figure out this particular feeling. I believe it was sometime right before my sixteenth birth-

"Oi, Rae, you ready to go yet?"

The empath nearly jumped at the sudden interruption, quickly shutting the little black notebook she'd been writing in and instinctively pulling it under her cloak…..though she knew he knew better then to enter her room without her permission….even if they were in a hotel.

"Don't call me Rae, Beast Boy." She snapped almost instantly, a bit more of an edge to her tone than normal. Realizing this, she took a deep breath. "…I'll be out in a minute." She added in her usual monotone.

"….Okay." she heard the changelings nervous response, then listened to him walk away, letting out a sigh only when she could no longer hear his footsteps. She then moved over to the bag sitting on her bed and looked down at the closed notebook.

The Titans were just ending their week-long vacation in Tokyo. Granted it wasn't some big two or three week cushy-living-sit-on-your-ass-and-relax type of getaway….but it was okay. Even though he denied it to the moon and back, Robin had a much more difficult time letting go and just taking a breather from crime fighting then he said he did. Raven had to give him some credit though, at least he'd tried, and even made it a whole week before he finally gave in and ordering everyone to pack up.

Raven wasn't sure to be relived or not. Going home back to her own, cozy room and many unfinished novels she was certainly not going to complain about. Getting back in the game and fighting off crime would be a welcome distraction as well, something else to keep her mind busy…but, Robin and Starfire would still be together.

This entire trip had been hell for her. First Robin went into his usual obsessive mode and stalked this villain all the way to Tokyo, dragging everyone else with him of course, then they rampaged through the ENTIRE city trying to figure it all out, and FINALLY once everything was all said and done, Raven wiped the ink off her face just in time to catch her best friend lip-locked with her long time crush.

Luckily, due to the fact that she was too shocked to process it all at the time, she was able to copy the others, feigning happiness for the couple. It wasn't until later when she was alone in her hotel room that it really sunk in what had happened. Robin and Starfire…..the boy she was in love with and the one girl she trusted the most….were together….an official couple….boyfriend and girlfriend.

Robin had feelings for Starfire, not her.

She should have been angry, but she was only hurt. She should have hated them both, but she couldn't bring herself to even envision hating either of them. No matter how painful it was for her…they were her friends, and they had a right to feel the way they did about each other. She was jealous to an extent, yes, but she was above letting such a petty emotion get to her. Her friends happiness….Robins happiness especially….was for more important than her own feelings. And if being with Starfire made him happy, then that's where she wanted him to be.

Even if it was so painful she felt like she was going to drop dead any second.

Can you really die from a shattered heart? Heh, how many times had that crossed her mind the past week as she struggled to keep all her now rampaging emotions in check. There were a few slip ups here and there….she broke two lamps, several tea cups….and after the refrigerator door flew across the kitchen she pretty much isolated herself for the last couple days in an intense meditation to try and get everything back under control, even taking the time to put up an almost complete mental block between her and Robin. She could sense he wasn't pleased about this, but he let her be….and she supposed it was partly because Starfire was keeping him plenty busy, dragging him around to all the major sights and attractions of Tokyo.

Funny, isn't it, though? How one incident can completely shatter years of well practiced control….How thirty seconds could destroy what she'd worked so hard to achieve….even after two whole days of intense mediation she hadn't regained full control….and she wasn't sure if she ever would be able to again.

Now she truly understood how love could be so unbelievably painful….she'd never experienced a pain more severe then heartbreak….and Raven experienced a lot of pain before, both physical AND emotional….

Sighing once again she tucked the notebook under her cloths and zipped up the bag, tossing it over her shoulder before moving slowly towards the door, knowing she had to get going before they sent Beast Boy to check on her again. She paused only briefly to pull the hood of her cloak up to hide her face before exiting and moving down the hall where the other four Titans waited for her. She felt so uncomfortable…..when everyone looked at her as she came up she almost phased through the floor, but managed to hold it together. Just barely.

Luckily for her Robin was eager to get going and almost instantly had the group moving down to where the T-ship was currently parked outside the Hotel so she didn't have to deal with lingering eyes of concern from her team mates. Thankful for his impatiens, Raven followed, hanging a few steps behind the others, eyes averted to the ground before her so she didn't have to see the happy couple up front holding hands. She was pretty confident that she had enough control to handle THAT….but she wasn't about to take any chances.

She could feel Robins concern for her leaking through the mental barrier (after all, this was a two-way thing….he could actually break the barrier if he wanted, but he knew better then to) though she did her best to ignore it. Him worrying for her just made it all the more painful…for some reason…

Dammit….why did love have to be so complicated….?